Marc and Cam were now sitting at the bar talking, and I couldn’t bring myself to look at them. Marc had tried to high-five Jamie for his conquest, which had just ripped me apart, but unable to conceal my presence, Marc shouted my name above the music and stuck his hand up while I waited to be served. Ignoring him, I looked at Cam, and a look of guilt crept across his exotic features as he gave me a sorrowful smile. His face said it all, and it brought fresh tears to my eyes. He knew what his best friend had just done to me.
I didn’t know how much Marc knew about Jamie and me, so I didn’t know if his high-five was genuine or not, but I didn’t care; he still did it. I ordered two shots of Patron and the bartender placed them down in front of me. I could see them both watching me warily. I tipped the first one back and winced at the burning sensation as it coated my throat. I reached for the second glass, ready to be completely numbed.
“Whoa!” Cam was at my side in a nanosecond. “Where are your friends?” He looked around the busy bar. I ignored him and took hold of the other shot. He asked me again, and I ignored him once more, tipping the other shot back. I slammed the glass down on the bar and walked away from him.
“Are you ignoring me? What the hell have I done?” he shouted behind me.
“Leave me alone,” I tossed over my shoulder.
“Is it Jamie?”
Hearing his name, I stopped and spun around quickly. Walking back to him, I pointed my finger in his face. “Don’t you ever mention his name again,” I seethed.
He looked stunned at my outburst, but I was in no mood to care. “He is single, you know?” He cocked his head to the side and dark strands of hair fell across his face. It annoyed me that he was sticking up for him. “What you two have, I don’t know, but he is single,” he repeated and gave a shrug.
The alcohol mixed with my emotions made me see red. “Take your morals and shove them up your ass, Cam,” I spat. His mouth opened in shock. First Jamie, now him. I was done. Done with the lot of them. I staggered back to Taylor, and the alcohol in my system, together with the music and disco lights, was sensory overload. She was laughing and having a good time dancing with the others, but there was no way I could stay. I was also hurt somewhat that she obviously hadn’t seen me arguing with Jamie and hadn’t realized I’d been gone for so long. Some friend she was. As I tapped her on the shoulder, she turned and cheered when she spotted me.
“I’m leaving. Something’s come up and I need to get home,” I lied.
Her brows furrowed, “Oh okay, do you need me to come with you?”
I shook my head. “I’ll call you, all right?” I let her give me a hug, and I did the dutiful friend thing of promising to text her when I got home. I exited the club literally behind Cam and Marc’s backs, so they didn’t see me leaving. Outside, the cold fresh air hit me, and I could feel the full effects of the alcohol. I instantly regretted taking the shots.
Wrapping my arms around my torso, I cursed myself for not bringing a jacket. It wasn’t that far to my house, and walking would do me good. It would clear my head. I’d be home in fifteen minutes. A niggling doubt told me it was dangerous for a girl to be walking home alone in the dark, but I pushed it aside and headed there anyway. Part of the way took me past the war memorial, where local kids hung out underage drinking and being a general nuisance, and when it became visible, as predicted, some were there.
Being on my own, I felt vulnerable. I hoped they didn’t try anything. I picked up my pace, walking faster, and when I reached it, I could now see it was just a young guy sitting on his own with his head in his hands in the shadows. That scared me even more; it was a stupid idea walking home alone. When I reached the memorial, I glanced sideways to get a glimpse of the man in case I had to identify him as my attacker to the police, and my heart leaped up into my mouth as I realized it was Jamie, who scrambled to his feet and frantically walked over to me.
Instantly, tears sprang from my eyes at the cruel way he’d hurt me. “No,” I yelled, holding my hands out in front of me, trying to stop him from getting too close, but it didn’t work. He gently grabbed hold of my wet face with both of his hands.
“Listen to me, please. I’m begging you….” He looked and sounded like he’d been crying. His eyes had filled with tears, and he sounded like he was trying to keep control of the sob I could hear wanting to escape from him every time he spoke. “I’m so sorry.” He sniffed.
I yanked his hands away and pushed past him, wiping my face, trying to walk away as quickly as possible, but he wouldn’t let up. He ran in front of me and grabbed my upper arms with force, making me stop walking again, and it angered me. I just wanted him to leave me alone. I glared at him. “You made a choice tonight, Jamie. We’re done, now leave me alone.” My voice was surprisingly calm, unlike how I was feeling. I pushed him away from me and continued my walk.
“No, please, I’m sorry. Don’t do this. Lauren?” I could hear him shouting in between my sobs as I walked away from him, away from our non-relationship.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Every day that passed was harder than the one before. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t want to see anybody. I just wanted to stay in bed and cry. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him. When I was awake, everything around me reminded me of him. I couldn’t escape. I felt like a huge piece of my life was gone, and I couldn’t cope with it.
I’d received countless texts from him, begging me to talk to him, to meet up and let him explain. I knew he regretted what he did, but I still chose to ignore him. He didn’t deserve the chance. To top things off, I had finals too, and I could hardly concentrate in class; my head was all over the place. I didn’t know how or when I was going to get over him. One thing I did know was that I wasn’t going to let him ruin my chances at having a good career. Despite what I was going through, I was determined to do well.
Taylor instantly noticed there was something wrong with me and commented to no end on how dreadful I looked. I just lied and told her I was really stressing about finals.
Getting ready for my first shift was awful. I didn’t want to go in, yet again because of Jamie. The same feeling returned like last time, except it was a hundred times worse. I couldn’t stomach facing him.
Walking into the club, as usual, they were all busy training, so I put my things away and sat at the desk. I felt ill every time I caught a glimpse of him.
He never tried to approach me; he knew better. I caught him looking over at me several times, but I just looked away. He was really moody, and the atmosphere in the club was terrible. He’d been like that for weeks now. I thought about the girl he slept with and wondered whether she was a one-night thing. Or, if he was doing what he did with me and kept going back to her. Maybe that was why he’d been so off in the weeks running up to that night. He was using both of us. The thought sickened me.
Over the course of the morning, I watched the guys and noticed they didn’t appear to be getting along like normal, so I kept my distance from them. I looked over at Jamie, and he was powerfully laying into the punching bag with high kicks and forceful punches. He pretty much kept to himself.
Cam was sparring with Leon, and I desperately wanted to avoid him after saying what I did inside the club. I didn’t mean to be harsh, but I was hurting while he was being the loyal best friend, sticking up for Jamie. Even Marc was quieter than usual. I watched as he lay silently, pressing weights above his head. He was normally the joker, but there was nothing now. I still wondered how much he knew about Jamie and me, but I guess it didn’t matter anymore.
My heart felt heavy at the loss of three friends I was close to. Leon was the only person I didn’t have a grudge against, and I guessed it was only time before the guys told him what had happened. He’d pick up on any tension between his friends right away. With the obvious anxiety between us all, I tried my best to act amicably while Kal was around. I was terrified he would sense something was up, and as usual, I was at the center of it all.
Now that
graduation was looming and things had broken down between Jamie and me, I decided it was time to hand in my notice to Kal. I needed the remaining time to study, and the guys needed to get back on track. It was the best thing for all of us. I would have liked to leave on good terms with everyone, and I hoped it was still a possibility with Marc and Cam.
Kal knew that leaving would be in the cards for me at some point because he always asked me about school and what I wanted to do once I graduated. When I told him I had gotten a job at a school, he was really happy for me, although I left out the fact that it was going to be in Texas. He kindly offered me a job whenever I needed one, which I appreciated but doubted I would ever take him up on. Kal left me with the choice of a leaving date, and after much deliberation over the morning, I chose to leave at the end of the week, but only after making sure it wouldn’t be putting more stress on him.
Regardless of what happened with Jamie, I was going to miss working at the club. Considering how much I was dreading it at the beginning, I had grown to love it and my little ‘fight club family,’ as I affectionately called them. Alongside Taylor, they were the closest things to family I ever had, and I loved them all dearly, despite our little setback. I’d met some wonderful people here, Kal in particular.
In a way, he was so much like a father figure to me, always encouraging me to pursue my dreams. The way he looked after me while I was in the hospital, and just genuinely being there for me if ever I needed him, was above anything I’d ever expected from him. I was going to miss him terribly. Cam, Marc, and Leon had become somewhat like brothers to me, just as Kal once joked. They looked out for me when I needed them, and I would miss our conversations and banter. They had big fights coming up soon, and I was disappointed I wouldn’t ever get to see them.
Kal announced my impending departure from the club during their team meeting, and I sat, horrified, at my desk. I hadn’t expected him to make an official announcement. I would have preferred if he had done that when I wasn’t present. In obvious shock, they stared over at me, except Jamie, who stared straight ahead of him like he wasn’t part of the conversation. I knew he was thinking it was because of him. After the announcement, their meeting continued and I carried on with work, and when they were free to go, Jamie took off out the door while the other three surrounded my desk.
“I get dibs on the next girl.” Marc shoved his palm in the air. Leon hit him in the stomach. I didn’t find it funny. I felt sorry if another girl replaced me. I only hoped she had the strength to stay away from them. It wasn’t worth the heartbreak. “I’m joking. I’ll miss you, Lauren. We’ll still see you, right?” He smiled, showcasing his trademark dimples in his cheeks.
“Yeah,” I lied.
“Same here, I’ll miss you too. You’ll still call us if you need anything, right?” Leon’s face was hopeful, and my heart warmed at his sentiment.
“Of course, thanks, Leon.” I managed a small smile. I desperately wanted to keep in contact with him. Out of all of them, I’d come to realize I could trust him the most. I could tell him anything and know it wouldn’t get back to the others. He came around the desk and gripped me in a big hug before leaving with Marc for their break. Cam lingered and waited for them to leave. I already knew what he was going to say.
He ran a hand through his dark brown hair, and worry troubled his exotic features. "Are you leaving because of Jay?”
I shook my head at him. “No.”
He looked like he didn’t believe me. “You sure?”
“Yes. I’m graduating soon, and I start a new job in August.” My voice was quiet as I swallowed down the sad thought of leaving everything behind.
He studied my face some more, still trying to work out whether I was telling the truth or not. “Well good luck, Lauren. We’ll miss you around here, and I’m sorry for the way things ended. No hard feelings, right?” He gave me a sad, apologetic smile.
It was honest of him, and I knew I had to put our fight behind me too. There was no point carrying it on. “Thanks, Cam. I’m sorry too.” I returned his sad smile and tears stung my eyes. I quickly turned back to my computer before he could see.
“Jay’ll take this hard. He knows he fucked up, Lauren. You mean a lot more to him than he’s let on,” he added, then turned and left the club. My stomach churned at his words. If he liked me that much, why did he go with that girl?
Before my shift ended, Kal’s face lit up as he told me he was arranging a little going away party for me on Saturday night, and my stomach filled with dread. I didn’t feel like having a party. As kind as his gesture was to give me a good sendoff, I was still heartbroken, and trying to put on a smile and be happy was going to be difficult.
I texted Taylor, inviting her because I needed her there. I made her swear not to tell anyone about Texas, and she promised she wouldn’t breathe a word. She asked me a little bit too excitedly about what we were going to wear, and I responded with a cool, “It’s a fight club, not a night club,” hoping she was going to wear something appropriate.
During that last week of work, I decided I didn’t want to part ways with Jamie on bad terms. I wouldn’t ever truly forgive him for what he did, but I’d shared so much with him in the last few months, and he knew more about me than most people, Taylor included. He tried to protect me when I needed it, and I couldn’t just leave and never speak to him again. I needed to gather the strength to talk to him.
****
Saturday night, I walked to the club for what would be my last time, with my best friend by my side, ready to join my fight club family. I chose a simple red sundress and lightly curled my hair, and as promised, Taylor behaved and wore a modest black maxi dress.
Stepping through the club doors, I was embarrassed when everybody whooped and cheered. It was full of people. Regular members of the club, the West Warriors team, and other people I had never seen in my life. I hated fuss; I wasn’t used to it. I smiled bashfully and clung to Taylor’s arm as she chuckled at my reaction. Looking around, they had decorated the club with colorful balloons and banners. Even the equipment was well hidden with sheets draped over them.
Music blared out of the speakers, and I had to laugh at the fact they had transformed the cage into a dance floor, complete with disco lights turning the black floor into fluorescent flashes of color. Another laugh escaped at the big sign that politely asked for no heels. I could imagine Kal having kittens if it got damaged. There was an impressive buffet of food on a long table, and the one thing I couldn’t believe that was there: beer. Kal had a strict no alcohol policy most of the time, but tonight, it looked like he was letting them enjoy the festivities.
I was nervous Jamie wasn’t going to be here, but he was the first person I saw when I walked into the room. He always was. He was already sipping on a beer, talking with Cam. He looked like he’d made an effort with his appearance, dressed in a midnight blue button down shirt folded at the elbows, and snug-fitting dark blue jeans, which he teamed with a pair of tan loafers. He looked gorgeous, and a stab of longing hit me. We made brief eye contact, and I could feel him watching me as I made my way over to Kal.
“Here she is.” Kal grabbed my full attention. He had a beaming smile on his face as he put an arm around me and hugged me in that fatherly way he did. Standing beside him was a lady whom I presumed was his wife.
“Hi, Kal.” I put an arm around his waist, leaning in to give him a hug. He too had made an effort, in dress clothes, and I noticed a hint of cologne, which scented his olive skin.
“Lauren, meet Lucille, my wife.” He gestured in her direction.
He’d started to open up more about his family, so it was nice to finally meet his wife. I turned to her, and she smiled warmly at me. Like Kal, she looked of Italian descent. Her big brown eyes were framed with insanely long eyelashes that were curled to perfection. Her cheekbones were set high and her plump lips were painted red. Lucille’s dark hair was scooped up into a chignon, and her curvy figure was showcased in a navy wrap dress. She
was beautiful, and I swore she could have been Taylor’s older sister.
“Kal speaks very fondly of you. He’s really going to miss you,” she said, directing a smile to Kal. I blushed a little, hoping he hadn’t told her too much about me.
We spoke for a little while about school and graduation, and I took the opportunity to ask about their children. They seemed to have the perfect life together, and I only hoped I could have all that one day too.
After a while, I felt Taylor discreetly tug my arm, and feeling guilty I never involved her in our conversation, I politely excused myself from Lucille. “Let’s get a drink,” she said, pulling me toward the beer. We grabbed some bottles from the ice buckets, and as we opened them, Marc came walking over to us, smiling. On my guard, I wondered what he had to smile about.
As he came closer, I noticed his eyes were fixed on Taylor, and I was surprised when he beckoned her over, and she eagerly left my side to go to him. Frowning curiously at them, I wondered what it was they had to talk privately about. I had no other option than to go and join Cam and Jamie. I still found it hard looking at Jamie, because of the pain he was putting me through. I still hadn’t talked to him since that night, but I just wanted to be civil tonight, for Kal’s sake. When I reached where they stood, Jamie gave me his best platonic smile, and I knew he was hiding his feelings, whatever they were. Painfully, I managed a brief smile back, but I couldn’t ignore the longing I felt for him. Pushing my feelings aside, I turned to Cam. “Thanks for being here. You didn’t have to.” I waved my hand at all the fuss they’d made.
“We had to send you off in style.” Cam winked. I laughed; it was the first party anyone had ever thrown for me. “I’m gonna go see Kal. I’ll catch you later.” He looked between Jamie and me then walked off, leaving us alone. Jamie smiled at me again, and I hated that his expression was empty. I missed the gorgeous grin that made his eyes light up when he looked at me. Turning his head away, he gazed outside for a few seconds and took a drink of his beer, and then he turned back to me. “Do you want a drink?” he asked softly.
Reckless Retribution (West Warriors Book 1) Page 24
