Just Hold Me: Carrington Cousins

by Summers, Amy

  She looked out at the inky sea and along the blue-gray shore. "All right," she said dully. She opened the car door and began to walk. She felt numb, as though nothing more could happen. He was sure to turn away from her now.

  Rafe followed her across the sand, past piles of driftwood, down to the water's edge.

  "Who is this Mark she was talking about?" he finally asked.

  "Mark Lund. I think you know him."

  He let out a deep breath very slowly. "Yes," he said coldly. "I know him pretty well. He's a promising talent."

  She nodded. "I'm sure he'll go far."

  Slipping off their shoes, they began to stroll just out of reach of the cool water.

  "Were you and he... close?"

  "Yes, very close," she answered, raising her face to the silver moon. "We were even talking about getting married."

  Rafe was silent for a moment or two. "What happened?"

  Even now she didn't feel capable of filling in the details. "It just didn't work out. We went our separate ways,"

  "Then why is Matty so bitter?"

  Because of the article, of course, because of what it had done to Mark's career. Thawn glanced at Rafe. Would he understand how she'd been tricked into giving the interview? Deep in her heart she doubted it. She remembered his antagonism the first day she'd come to his land, when he'd thought she was a member of the press. He had a natural antipathy for people who tried to delve into his private life. He wouldn't understand how she could have been so stupid as to reveal Mark to the world. Guilt consumed her at the evasion, but she couldn't risk telling him.

  She shook her head'. "You'll have to ask her that yourself. Matty is a very strange woman. I wouldn't begin to try to analyze her motives."

  "You're certainly right there," he said. Then his arm was curling around her shoulders. "Did we know each other before? I can't imagine that I could have talked to you once and not tried to take over your life within minutes of our meeting."

  She smiled wanly. "I think you're exaggerating," she accused. "After all, you didn't want to take over my life after our first real meeting on your property."

  He chuckled softly. "I may not have done anything, but 1 was certainly thinking about it." He pulled her around to face him. "Thawn, you're different from any other woman I've ever known. I saw that from the first. Don't you know how special you are to me?"

  She was glad she meant something to him, but she wished she believed it would last. "Am I as special as those gorgeous women I used to see on your arm at parties?" she asked lightly.

  He frowned, searching her eyes. "So we have seen each other at parties," he said softly. "I knew it."

  "Oh, sure." She shrugged out of his embrace and began marching up the sand with Rafe following close behind her. "We saw each other at parties. Though ‘saw’ may not be the right term. How you could see anything through the throng of women that hung around you, I'll never know. I, on the other hand, had a clear view."

  "Did you now?" He gripped her arm and slowed her pace. "If you could see me so clearly, why did you neglect to mention when we first met that you knew all about me?"

  "Would it have made any difference?" she asked, trying to shake him away. "Would you have enjoyed talking about the good old days?"

  He pulled her around to face him, and she found herself looking into his dark eyes, haunted by moonlight shadows.

  "Is that it?" he asked softly. His voice was almost drowned in the roar of the ocean surf. "Did something or someone in Hollywood hurt you so badly that you didn't want to be reminded?"

  She reached up and cupped his cheek with her cool hand. Who was this man? Was he the sensitive, thoughtful lover she knew? Or was he the arrogant man she'd thought she'd recognized much earlier?

  She loved him. She could no longer pretend otherwise. And she ached to let him know. But how would he react to such a declaration? Would it amuse him or scare him away?

  The wind off the ocean whipped Thawn's hair across her face and flattened the skirt of her dress against her legs. She lifted her face to the breeze, closed her eyes, and waited.

  Rafe stood still for a moment, then reached for her. "I hate to think of you being hurt," he whispered into the hollow behind her ear. "I want to make it up to you."

  She turned into his caress, allowing him to taste her trembling lips, then force them gently apart for his exploration. As his tongue entered her mouth, a flood of warmth rushed through her body, fighting off the cold sea air blowing about them.

  She sighed, then gasped as his tongue became more intimate, more knowing, searching to ignite every hidden sensation. His arms wound around her like steel bands, holding her to him with a fierceness that almost frightened her, while his kiss branded his sense of possession on her in a way that would not soon fade.

  "Oh, Rafe," she moaned, and suddenly for no reason that she could think of, tears were springing from her eyes.

  "Hey." He pulled back, then leaned forward to catch each drop with his tongue as it ran down her cheeks. "What is it, darling?"

  But she couldn't tell him. She didn't even know herself. She merely shook her head in mute surrender, and he gathered her up in his arms and carried her, curled against his chest, across the sand and back to the car.

  "I'm going to take care of you, Thawn," he promised as he settled her into the plush seat. "I'm going to take you home, give you a warm bath, and sing you lullabies until you fall asleep."

  She managed a tremulous smile. "If you promise to skip the singing, I'll do whatever you want," she said shakily.

  He rewarded her return to good humor with a flash of white teeth in a wide grin. "It's a deal," he said as he lowered his long body into the driver's seat. "But don't think I'm going to forget your denigration of my talent."

  He shifted gears and brought the long, low car back onto the highway. Thawn glanced at his serious face as he watched for oncoming traffic and felt an emotion rising in her that was almost overwhelming. She loved him so. How had she been so careless as to let him take such complete possession of her heart? She'd walked into the relationship with her eyes open, knowing all the risks, yet that knowledge hadn't saved her.

  She leaned her head back and sighed, closing her eyes. She could never have all of him forever, but knowing that would make her treasure their brief time together all the more.

  Chapter 9

  The next day Tom showed up at the entrance to Rafe's property, just as he had promised. Thawn was waiting by the highway to waylay him and lead him down a path that couldn't be seen from the trailer.

  "I don't know what good this is going to do," he grumbled as he walked beside her. "I feel like a fool."

  "You'll get another little gold star to put by your name in heaven," Thawn told him, smiling. "Come on. I'll show you where to wait."

  She took him to a rocky shore area pockmarked with tidal pools. "Stand right here, around this boulder, where Carly won't be able to see you until she's almost on top of you."

  Tom frowned like a grouchy grizzly bear. "You'd better not take too long," he warned Thawn. "I'm not going to stand around here all day waiting."

  "Just don't wander away!" she cautioned before throwing him a quick smile and running back up toward the road.

  Rafe had been informed of her plan, but he didn't like it much. "I don't want that guy hanging around you," he'd argued. But Thawn hadn't paid any attention.

  "Your sister has to make some contact with the outside world," she'd stated firmly. "If she doesn't, she'll become more and more withdrawn from life."

  He had agreed with that but wished she would use someone other than Tom. "Why don't we just take her into town to see a movie or something like that?" he'd suggested.

  She'd shrugged. "That's a good idea, but we'll do it after I try this."

  Now, when she arrived at the trailer, Rafe was almost as grouchy as Tom had been. He cast her dark looks from his seat by the window.

  "Carly," Thawn said brightly, "1 think I saw a sea otter do
wn by the rocks when I came in. Want to go down with me and take a look?"

  Carly turned, her face alight with pleasure. "Oh... I'd love to, but right now I'm in the middle of beating egg whites for this angel food cake. Maybe in about half an hour."

  Thawn whirled and glared meaningfully at Rafe, who gaped at her with indignation. "You're kidding!" he mouthed. She nodded emphatically.

  With infinite reluctance he rose slowly from his chair and strode into die little kitchen. "Here," he said roughly, "give me that beater. I'll do it. You go on with Thawn."

  "You'll beat the eggs?" Carly stared at him, nonplussed. "I didn't think you knew a white from a yolk, unless it was looking at you from a plate, sunny-side up."

  Rafe shot Thawn another scowl. "Just get on out of here," he growled. Carly dropped him a quick kiss as she whirled by.

  Outside, the sun was shining on the water, turning it golden in the morning light. There wasn't a cloud in the blue sky, and the scent of summer flowers mixed with the salty tang of the sea.

  "Where did you see the otter?" Carly asked as she bounded ahead. Dressed in white shorts and a yellow tank top, she looked as long limbed as a spring colt. Her affection for Thawn had made her less self-conscious, and she wasn’t bothering to try to hide her scars with her hair as she usually did.

  "Over this way." Thawn pointed down the beach. "Near those rocks." She hung back as Carly ran on, crossing her lingers and hoping against hope.

  As Carly rounded the corner behind which Thawn knew Tom was waiting, Thawn stopped and held her breath. She half-expected to hear Carly scream. For a long moment there was no sound but the rushing of cool green water as it raced up the sand and the screaming of gulls as they fought the wind off the sea.

  The silence had lasted too long. Had everything gone so perfectly Carly and Tom were chattering like long-lost friends? Thawn could hardly believe it. She hurried toward the rocks.

  Just before she reached the corner, Tom appeared. "Tom!" she cried, craning her neck to see if Carly was following him. "What happened?" she hissed when she saw no sign of the girl.

  "Nothing." He shrugged. "She came around the rock, gave me one startled look, and took off like a gazelle. She's out beyond the point by now, somewhere out on that breakdown."

  Thawn shaded her eyes but saw nothing. "Why didn't you stop her?" she cried. "You were supposed to get her involved in looking for sea otters."

  He snorted. "How could I get her involved in anything when she didn't even wait to make eye contact?" He began walking morosely back toward the highway. "I'm going home."

  Thawn ran up behind him and caught his arm. "You're doing no such thing!" she insisted. "Go out there on the point and find her. For all you know she might be about to jump into the sea. Hurry and make sure she's okay."

  "Aw, Thawn," he groaned, "give me a break."

  She fixed him with a stern stare. "Did you see her? Did you see how shy she is? What are you afraid of?"

  He rolled his eyes heavenward. "I'm not afraid," he insisted gruffly.

  "Then go on out there," she coaxed. "Do it for me. For our friendship."

  He looked down at her in disgust. "I'll give it one more try," he conceded, "but that will be the end of it."

  She smiled her thanks as he turned and marched toward the pile of rocks that jutted into the sea. Turning, she saw Rafe standing on the rise, watching. She waved and began scrambling up the cliff face to reach him.

  "Hi," she said, breathless as she drew near. "How're the egg whites?"

  He gave her a half-smile. "The egg whites aren't doing any better than your friend Tom is." His eyes were full of questions she couldn't quite read.

  "He'll be okay," she said with more optimism than she felt. "He's going out to find her on the point."

  When Rafe made no comment, she looked back at him. "What's wrong with the egg whites?"

  He shrugged. "I'm not sure. I think they may need artificial respiration. They look pretty flat."

  "Come on." She linked arms with him and they turned back toward the trailer. "I'll see if I can provide first aid."

  Once they were back in the kitchen, Thawn went through the motions of teaching Rafe all about egg whites, babbling on and on while he sat silently watching the clock. She knew he wanted to go after his sister, but that at the same time he wanted to leave her alone. The war that was being waged inside him didn't improve his disposition.

  "If you've got powdered sugar around here somewhere, I'll go ahead and start the icing," Thawn said as the trailer door flew open and slammed shut.

  They both froze, staring at each other, straining to hear if Carly had brought Tom back with her. But she walked into the kitchen alone—and very angry.

  "How dare you?" she cried harshly, hands on her hips, chin thrust out in petulant rage. "I thought we were friends, Thawn. I thought I could trust you."

  Her dark eyes blazed as Thawn stepped toward her.

  "Don't come anywhere near me. I'll never forgive you for this." She cast a burning look of disdain at her brother. "Or you, either, for letting her do it." She glanced from one stricken face to the other. "How could you?" she demanded again. "Don't you think I'll find my own friends when I'm good and ready? Don't you think I ought to be allowed to take charge of my own life?"

  When Rafe began to speak, she backed away, shaking her head. "No, don't try to explain how she was only doing it for my own good. That won't wash. From now on, stay out of my business, Thawn Carrington."

  She began to stride from the room, but Rafe caught hold of her arm and stopped her. "Carly, you're acting like a spoiled brat. It's time you got over this self-pity and went back to growing up."

  Carly looked up at him, startled.

  "Since you despise any altruistic motives Thawn may have had, look at it this way—she did it for me.”

  Carly tried to pull away, but Rafe refused to release his hold on her arm. "We need Tom to testify before the board in our behalf. Thawn can't talk him into it, but you might be able to." His taut expression relaxed into a half-grin. "You've seen the guy. He's no more threatening than a huge teddy bear. He can't do anything to hurt you."

  Carly's face mirrored the conflicting emotions that Thawn knew were churning inside her. Rafe pulled her into his arms and hugged her close. "You want to restore Grandfather's dream just as much as I do, don't you? Do it for him, Carly. Do it for the dream."

  Carly buried her face against her brother's chest for a long moment. At last she asked in a muffled voice, "Is he still out there?"

  Thawn stepped to the window and looked out. "Yes."

  Carly pulled away from Rafe and faced Thawn. "Will you go with me?" Her voice trembled.

  Thawn's smile took in both Rafe and his sister. "Of course."

  Carly drew herself up like a soldier marching to her doom. "Let's go. I'll make friends with him. But only to get him to testify."

  At the door she turned back. "Oh, take your cell phone. There's a whole colony of sea otters out on the end of the point."

  Thawn exchanged a glance with Rafe, then left with Carly, her knees shaking with relief.

  For awhile the summer seemed to flow along cheerfully. Everything fell into place so nicely that Thawn marveled at their luck. Tom and Carly shared a common love for nature that bound them together from the first. Soon the burly man was a common visitor at the Armstrong trailer. Though Rafe didn't warm to him—Thawn suspected he was still wary about Tom harboring ulterior motives—Carly seemed to sparkle as their friendship grew.

  One day Tom displayed a master stroke by showing up with a dog and asking Carly to take care of it for him. He'd found the overgrown Saint Bernard puppy at the pound. Softhearted pushover that he was, he took the dog home and advertised for its master. While waiting for an answer, he was boarding the dog, whom they'd named Brandy, with Carly.

  "She needs a watchdog anyway," he claimed when challenged by Rafe. "You won't always be around; you'll be off making your movies somewhere."

 
Reluctantly Tom eventually agreed to talk over the building plans and how they affected the ammonite site. "I won't compromise my principles," he insisted over and over again. But in the end he helped set up an agreement that might satisfy just about everyone.

  Rafe arranged for the architect, the builder, and the landscape designer to come to the lot one afternoon. Tom came too, and the five of them planned a new site, one that would conform to environmental standards, take into account the land's geologic features, and not disturb the ammonites.

  "This plan, along with a signed agreement from you that you will maintain the ammonite site, ought to go a long way toward convincing the board," Tom explained to Rafe. "We'll have to wait and see what they have to say about it."

  On the day of the hearing, both Tom and Thawn joined Rafe. Carly had planned to come, but she changed her mind at the last minute. As the three of them sat in the hearing room, waiting for their turn to plead their case, Rafe reached over and took Thawn's hand, squeezing it tightly. "Now we'll see if you're my lucky charm or not," he whispered.

  She grinned up at him. "If they decide in your favor, you might have to thank Tom for it, not me." She poked him in the ribs with a sharp elbow. "Now be quiet and pay attention. You want to make a good impression from the start."

  Thawn presented the case. Tom backed her up, and Rafe spoke with great sincerity. Finally the three of them working together persuaded the board to move favorably on Rafe's petition; and they sighed with relief.

  "This is only another step in a long chain of requirements you must meet in order to build your house," Tom reminded Rafe as they left the room. "But your application has been pending for a long time, and if we talk to the commissioner, maybe we can expedite matters."

  By the middle of August the workmen were laying the foundation and Rafe was excitedly showing Thawn each day's progress.

  "You know, I think this is actually going to be better than my first plan," he told her one evening as they sat sipping wine on a blanket spread across the slab that would be his living room. "The whole front of the house will look out over the sea." He gestured toward the sky.