The Loudest Silence: A Post-Apocalyptic Zombie Novel (Oklahoma Wastelands Book 1)

by Kate L. Mary

  I wanted to smack him for making me wait so long, but I couldn’t because I was too happy. My cheeks ached from the smile stretched across my face.

  “I can’t wait to get you back to the shelter,” he whispered.

  A flush spread through me, and my legs wobbled.

  When he pressed his lips against mine again, I kissed him back, but my mind was elsewhere. It was back in my condo, in my bed. It was thinking about the two of us being together for the first time. Sex. I’d been starting to think I would never get this chance.

  He pulled back, his hands still on either side of my face, and looked me over again. “What’s wrong? It seems like your mind is somewhere else.”

  “Nothing.” My cheeks flamed again. “I was just thinking about how you said you couldn’t wait to get me back to the shelter.”

  Understanding crossed his face, and his eyes got bigger. “That’s not what I meant, Regan. I meant I wanted you to be safe. That’s all.”

  “That’s all?”

  “I don’t want you to think I’m planning on jumping you the second we get back. We have time. We don’t need to rush into anything, and I want to make sure you’re ready.”

  “Kellan…” I took a deep breath. “I’m twenty-one years old. I’m ready.”

  “Regan, it’s a big step, and you shouldn’t take it lightly.”

  I pulled out of his grasp. “Like you, you mean?”

  It was the last thing I wanted to talk about right now, but the words were already out, and I couldn’t take them back. Kellan, I knew, had women friends in Altus, and it nearly killed me to think about that.

  “Regan, I—”

  I lifted my hand, cutting him off. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”

  “No.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me against him, wrapping me in his embrace again. “It is your business.” Kellan exhaled, and his breath brushed against the top of my head. “Yes, I’ve slept with other women.”

  My body stiffened, and I tried to pull away. “I don’t want to hear this.”

  “I need you to,” he said, holding me tighter even though I’d pulled back enough that I was looking him in the eye. “It was stupid, I know it, but I was young. Eighteen, nineteen. You were still a kid then.”

  “Nineteen?” I shook my head. “That was five years ago.”

  Kellan grinned. “You think I would sleep with someone else once I realized I was in love with you?”

  “But—” I swallowed. He loved me. I knew it, but it still took my breath away and made it nearly impossible to think enough to get the words out. “You came here with Blake last year after Cade and Emma got together. You had a weekend of whoring around.”

  Kellan laughed. “I came to make sure Blake didn’t get himself into trouble. It was the most boring weekend of my life, and I couldn’t wait to get back to you. I think that’s when I really admitted to myself how I felt.”

  “Why didn’t you say something sooner?” I asked, blinking back tears of happiness.

  “Things with Emma and Blake.” Kellan shook his head. “It got so complicated, and I was terrified of that happening with us. I told myself being friends with you would have to be enough, because I couldn’t risk losing that.”

  “What about now?” I asked. “You’re not scared anymore?”

  “No. After the past few weeks, I’m convinced you’re the perfect woman for me.”

  I was smiling when his mouth captured mine again.

  This time, the kiss was slow and sweet, and much too short.

  When he pulled away, he was all business despite the grin on his face. “We need to find gas so we can get home.”

  “Yeah.” I was breathless, but happier than I’d ever been. “I’m ready to be home.”

  Back in the market, Kellan and I walked from booth to booth, holding hands. We asked around, inquiring about Hector, but no one had seen the man. The further we walked, the more Kellan’s smile faded, and the more his worry began to show.

  We passed a group of men and women wearing long, thick, red robes. Just looking at them made me sweat, but the pounding in my heart was for reasons that had nothing to do with the Oklahoma heat.

  “Are those members of The Church?” I whispered to Kellan.

  He glanced at them for only a moment before steering me away. “Yeah. I heard a new group came out. Crazy people.”

  “What are they doing here?” I tried to look back, to get a better glimpse of them, but Kellan had already steered me deeper into the crowd, and they were out of sight.

  “Trying to get new recruits. Hopefully, no one out here is dumb enough to fall for that bullshit about Angus James being the savior of the human race.” Kellan snorted. “As if he’s the only one who’s ever been immune to this.”

  His arm tightened around my shoulders, but I wasn’t even sure if he was aware of it.

  “Kellan, Regan.” The sound of Harper’s voice made me turn, and I found her heading our way through the throng of people. When she stopped in front of us, she said, “Cade found Priscilla. She has fuel.”

  21

  “Good.” The relief in Kellan’s voice was palpable. “Where is she?”

  Harper waved her hand toward the other side of the room. “Over there.”

  “Thank God,” he said. “Now we can get some gas and get out of here.”

  Kellan started to head that way, pulling me with him, but I refused to budge.

  “We still haven’t seen Blake,” I reminded him.

  Kellan looked around like he expected our friend to magically appear. “We can’t wait around too much longer. Remember, Jasper is going to be worried.”

  I nodded even as I exhaled. I hated knowing Blake was here somewhere and we were planning on leaving without seeing him, but Kellan was right. Blake was an adult, and he’d come home when he was ready. It wasn’t like seeing us was going to make things better. Especially since Emma and Cade were here.

  Kellan gave my hand a squeeze before dropping it. “You and Harper look for him while I take care of the gas situation. Hopefully, you’ll run into him before we leave.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “That’s a good idea.”

  He paused, his gaze moving to Harper like he wasn’t sure what to do. After a brief hesitation, Kellan planted a kiss on the corner of my lips. “Be careful.”

  “I will.”

  When he turned away, I did as well, motioning for Harper to follow as I wove my way through the crowded room in search of our friend.

  “When did that happen?” Harper asked after a few moments of silent walking.

  I shrugged, feeling myself flush again. It was so new and so exciting, but I still hadn’t fully wrapped my brain around the whole thing. “I think it’s been happening for a long time.”

  “I’m happy for you.” When I looked her way, she smiled. “He may not like me all that much, but right away I could tell he would die for you.”

  “Could you?”

  “Couldn’t you?” she asked, lifting her eyebrows.

  “I guess so. Although I think I got used to him always being there to take care of me, so I didn’t really notice when his motivation behind it changed.”

  “Well, other than Cade, I’ve never seen a man that determined to keep the woman he loves safe. You’re lucky.”

  “I am,” I said, allowing a smile to creep out of me.

  “Harper!”

  I stopped at the sound of someone calling her name, and at my side, she did as well. Her already large eyes grew in size as she searched the crowd. I would never recognize someone who knew her, but I looked around too.

  When a man in his thirties pushed past a group of people less than ten feet away, he was smiling and staring right at Harper.

  “Who’s that?” I asked her.

  “Dominic.” She shook her head and blinked a few times like she couldn’t believe her eyes. “He should be dead.”

  “He looks alive and well.” I looked back at the smiling man rushing toward us. />
  “He was there,” Harper said. “When those men attacked our settlement, Dominic was there. He must have gotten away, and I didn’t realize it.”

  The man threw his arms around Harper when he reached her, and though she hugged him back, it didn’t seem very sincere. Maybe she was still in shock.

  “I can’t believe this.” He pulled back but held onto her shoulders, grinning as he looked her over. “I thought everyone had died.”

  “So did I,” she said.

  She acted dazed, even aloof, and something about it had me on alert. She should be happy to see this guy. He’d been a part of her group, a group she’d considered family, and she’d thought he was dead. She should be thrilled to see him standing in front of her right now, but she didn’t act like she was.

  “I’m Regan,” I said, shoving my hand between them.

  It forced Dominic to take a step back, and his hands finally left her shoulders. Harper let out a deep sigh of relief a deaf person couldn’t have missed.

  Dominic eyed my hand for a second before looking up at me, holding my gaze as he slipped his hand into mine. “Nice to know you.”

  He held on a little too long, pumping my hand a little too firmly. When he released it, he smiled, but it didn’t reach his gray eyes.

  It was tough to get a read on this guy. Everything about him seemed fake, rehearsed and calculating, but I had no idea what he was hiding or why.

  After a moment, Dominic turned his focus back to Harper. “How’d you get away?”

  The girl reached up like she was going to tug on her hair, but it wasn’t in its usual braid, and she ended up dropping her arm back to her side. “I didn’t. Not at first. They had me at their hideout for a few days, but I made a run for it when they were drinking.”

  Dominic let out a low whistle. “You got lucky.”

  “Yeah,” Harper whispered.

  Silence fell over us. I wanted her to ask Dominic how he’d escaped and where he’d been, but she seemed uneasy in his presence. She was a shy girl, and I was used to her silence by now, but this was different. She knew this guy. She shouldn’t be acting this way.

  “What about you?” I asked when she still said nothing. “How did you get away?”

  Dominic grimaced like the memory hurt, but again it seemed like an act. “Ran. They opened the back of that truck, and I hightailed it out of there. I felt bad,” he shot a frown Harper’s way, “leaving everybody the way I did, but I had to think about myself. You know?”

  Harper’s eyes were focused on the floor when she nodded.

  “You have to do what you can to survive,” I said, but I didn’t agree. I would have stayed and fought even if it meant dying. No way would I have left my family to get slaughtered like that.

  Dominic stared at Harper like he was waiting for her to say something, but she still didn’t utter a word.

  After moment, he asked, “Where are you staying? Not here, I know. I’ve been here for a couple weeks already and haven’t seen you once.”

  “We have a place.” I shrugged like it was no big deal. “An old farmhouse. Nothing fancy, but it’s worked for the last nine years.”

  “A farmhouse?” Almost like he’d given up on Harper saying a word, Dominic turned his focus completely on me. “How did you meet up with Harper?”

  “We found her when we were out hunting. She’d been on the run for a few days, and it was obvious she needed help.”

  “Then she got lucky again,” he said. “Thanks for being there for her. She’s a kid, and I hate the thought of her being out there all alone.” I was pretty sure the smile he gave me was supposed to look fatherly, but it only looked twisted and strained. Something was definitely not right with this guy.

  “We’ve been happy to have her,” I said.

  “She’s a good kid.” Dominic nodded a few times. “How many are in your group?”

  “Twenty-three,” I said without blinking.

  Thankfully, Dominic was looking at me, because Harper’s eyes shot up. If he’d been paying attention to her, he’d know I was lying.

  “Good size group,” he said a little too thoughtfully.

  “You’ve been staying here?” I asked, hoping to draw the focus away from our group as well as get a better read on him.

  “Yeah. Once I was sure I was clear of those assholes, I made my way here. Been around ever since.”

  “Seems like you got lucky, too,” I said.

  “Sure did.” Dominic glanced toward Harper again, his gaze focused on the bandage she wore on her arm.

  He was looking at the bite. It shouldn’t set off alarm bells in my head—Harper told us her family knew she was immune—but it did. Everything about this guy did, and I wanted to put some space between us as soon as possible.

  “Well,” I took a step back, and Harper followed my lead, “we need to head out. I’m sure the rest of our group is wondering what happened to us.”

  “It was good running into you. I’m glad to find out I’m not the only one still alive.” Dominic reached for Harper, but she shrank away. Something sharp and dangerous flashed in his eyes, but it was gone in a moment, replaced by a mechanical smile. “You always were such a private thing.”

  Harper flushed, and I stepped closer to her. “Maybe we’ll see you next time we’re here.”

  Dominic nodded a little too enthusiastically. “I’ll be looking forward to it.”

  I bet you will, I thought. Out loud, I said, “Take care of yourself, Dominic. And don’t worry about Harper. We’re looking out for her.”

  There was a hint of a warning in my voice, and based on the way his eyes flashed, he didn’t miss it. Good. I wanted him to know Harper had people with her who would worry about more than saving their own asses. We wouldn’t run off and leave her vulnerable. Not like this asshole had.

  I grabbed Harper’s elbow and pulled her with me as I turned away, leading her through the crowded room in search of Kellan.

  When we’d gone a good distance, I looked over my shoulder to make sure he wasn’t following before saying, “What’s up with him?”

  “I don’t know,” Harper murmured. “He wasn’t with us for long before we were attacked. A few weeks, maybe. He always bugged me.”

  “Something is definitely not right about that guy,” I muttered.

  Harper’s eyes snapped my way. “You think so, too?”

  “I know so,” I said firmly.

  We were still halfway across the room when I started walking faster. It wasn’t just the sight of Kellan that spurred me forward, though. It was the fact that Blake was with him.

  “Blake!” I called when Harper and I approached.

  He turned and smiled, and I finally released Harper so I could throw my arms around him.

  Blake returned the hug, his body shaking when he laughed. “Shit. I sure am glad to see you guys. I was freaking out after you left Altus. That damn storm came out of nowhere, and I was sure you’d get stuck in it.”

  “We did.” I pulled back, smiling up at him. “Did Kellan tell you?”

  “He did.” Blake’s arm was still around my shoulders when he shook his head. “Shit. Sounds like I missed a pretty intense situation.”

  “Intense isn’t the right word,” I said. “The farmhouse is toast. We got damn lucky we made it to the basement.”

  Blake’s arm tightened around my shoulders. “I heard.”

  “You staying here?” I asked.

  Blake looked down, his smile fading. “I don’t know. Worrying about you guys made me realize how much of a family we are, but I don’t know if I can do it right now.”

  “We miss you,” I said.

  He only sighed.

  “Blake.” We all turned at the sound of Emma’s voice.

  He didn’t release me, but he stiffened, his arm tightening around my shoulders.

  To my utter shock, when Emma stopped in front of us, she paused for only a second before shoving Blake. He stumbled back a few steps, nearly taking me with him, a
nd I ducked out of his grasp only to be grabbed by Kellan and pulled to his side.

  “What the hell?” Kellan said at the same time that Emma snapped, “You asshole.”

  Blake glared back at her. “Have you gone insane?”

  “Have you?” she retorted. “We had an agreement, Blake. We promised we’d be happy for each other.”

  “I know,” he said through clenched teeth.

  “So, that’s it? You know but you’re still going to run off?”

  “Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to see you with Cade?” he snapped. “Do you even understand what it feels like?”

  Emma’s anger melted away. “I do. But you promised me we’d make this work. You promised you would talk to me if things ever got too hard. Why didn’t you come to me?”

  Blake looked down. “I would have felt like an asshole.”

  “This is better?” A tear slid down her cheek, and she brushed it away before saying, “Seven years, Blake. We were together for seven years. You know me better than that. You know I wouldn’t have been mad.”

  “Shit,” he muttered before lifting his gaze to meet hers. “I know. Now I feel like an even bigger asshole than I did.”

  “You’re coming back with us. Do you hear me? You’re coming home, and Cade and I will do whatever it takes to make things easier on you. I’m serious.”

  He let out a little laugh and shook his head. “This is why we didn’t work. You are the bossiest bitch I’ve ever met.”

  “And you can’t take orders for shit,” she said.

  When she reached out to grab his arm, he allowed it, and then she pulled him forward and he wrapped his arms around her.

  “I still love you, Blake, and the last thing I would ever want to do is make your life a living hell. But I can’t stand the idea of not having you in my life. You have to know that.”

  “I know,” he said against her head. “I love you, too. I always will.”

  As if he’d been waiting in the wings for Emma and Blake to talk, Cade chose that moment to materialize from the crowd. “Hey, man.”