His Choice, Her Decision

by Williams, D. C.

  “Are you ready to leave?”

  Grabbing my purse, “yes, I’m ready.” Turning to face him, “Aiden, I’m sorry that this is happening. I don’t believe Terrance is behind it but I want you to know that exactly how you’re feeling right now with all of this being thrown in your face is how I’ve felt countless times before when it was you in the wrong. And like all those times before, I forgave you so you need to chill out a little and remember, I didn’t do anything wrong.”

  Rolling his eyes in my direction, “allowing him to hug you like he did was wrong.”

  “There was nothing wrong with the way that he hugged me, Aiden.”

  “You wouldn’t understand so when I see him, I’m going to help him to understand that what belongs to me, it would behoove him not to touch.”

  “Aiden, behoove him?” Putting my hand on my hip and getting in his face to prove my point, “I DON’T BELONG TO YOU, STOP SAYING THAT!”

  “Sharon, you really know how to push my buttons, if you weren’t pregnant, I’d prove to you just how much you belong to me and I wouldn’t stop until that fact was ingrained in your head, never to be forgotten.” Getting in her face, “don’t keep pushing me like this, I can only take so much of your bullshit. Now, let’s go.”

  Chapter Thirty Eight

  I’m so glad that it’s Sunday! After dealing with Sharon’s moody, crazy, naïve, selfish, spoiled, crazy ass, I need to let off some serious steam. Come to find out, the leak to the tabloids was from that girl, Erica, who Camille fired. She claims that Sharon was the reason she was fired. What the fuck ever. Not that it makes any difference because now it’s out that we’re having twins. All the more reason why we should get married but she still won’t accept my proposal. Deep down, I know her decision is based on her dad’s opinion of me whether she wants to admit it or not.

  Getting into the shower, I keep thinking about her smart ass comment on yesterday, “you don’t own me, you don’t own me,” yeah, whatever. I should have pushed her ass back into that hotel room and fucked the hell out of her to prove my point. As crazy as her ass is, she’d probably have me arrested for rape. She’s so frustrating. Then, I stop so that she can eat and she refuses to let me pay for her food, pulling out that damn American Express card that her “daddy” pays for her every month. Come to think of it, I’ve got plans for that damn card. As soon as I get back home, that’s the first thing I’m going to take care of today.

  Stepping out of the shower, I hear my phone ringing. Must be Sebastian calling to make sure that I’m going to be at the court today. I’m sure Camille is just as psychotic, although, he’ll never admit to it. She has been friends with Sharon for too long for them not to have something in common. Wrapping the towel around my waist, the caller id indicates that it’s Sharon, “hello.”

  “Aiden, are you leaving to meet the guys for basketball?”

  What’s up with her, she knows this is a Sunday ritual unless there’s work. “Yeah, aren’t you meeting Brian for Sunday brunch?”

  “Um no, not today, I think I need to go to church instead,” she sighs heavily into the phone.

  I think she’s crying. “Is Brian going with you?”

  “No, I’m going by myself.”

  What is up with her? “Would you like for me to go with you?” She is crying. “Babe, why are you crying?”

  Sniffling into the phone, “I just feel that nothing is going right in my life. I really can’t talk to anyone without sounding unstable.” Sobbing into the phone, “one minute I’m so happy about the babies and the next, I don’t know how I feel. Well, actually, I feel like a spectacle.”

  Sitting on the bed so that I can pay attention to what she’s saying, I rub my free hand through my wet hair, “Sharon, you can always talk to me and in what way do you feel like a spectacle?”

  “Aiden, when I try to express to you how I feel, you keep bringing up marriage. And how could I not feel like a spectacle? I don’t like my private life being discussed or dissected by people who I feel are judging me based on my decisions.”

  Sighing into the phone, “that’s life, you can’t change people or let what they say and do affect you. You just have to ignore it.” Deciding not to comment on the marriage issue, “I think going to church is a good idea and it should make you feel better.”

  “I sure hope so.” Sniffling into the phone again, “I realized after talking to my parents this morning that no matter what I do, I can’t seem to please my dad.” Taking a long pause before speaking again, “he basically said that my career is over because there is no way that I’m going to be able to properly take care of two babies as a single parent. Then, he said some other crap not worth repeating.”

  Taking a deep breath, “at some point in your life, you have to learn to live for yourself and not your dad, you’re the youngest and for some reason, I think he likes or depends on the fact that you still look up to him.” This can go either way with her so I need to choose my words carefully, “now that you’re pregnant, he may feel that he’s losing you.”

  “Whatever, that doesn’t give him the right to say things that he knows will hurt my feelings.” Taking a deep breath, “I just feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster trying to get off but the ride just keeps going.”

  “Sharon, the way you’re feeling probably has more to do with the hormonal changes in your body that Dr. Fura mentioned you would experience. Look babe, how about we get together later today, either at my place or yours and just chill out. We won’t talk about the babies, marriage or anything that makes you sad, okay?”

  Hearing her smile through the phone, “I love you, Aiden.”

  Hmm, haven’t heard her say that in a while, “love you too.”

  Hanging up the phone, I can only imagine what Mr. Wen probably said to her. He is such a pompous ass. Glancing over at the clock, I better get going so that I’m not late.

  Thirty minutes later, I’m pulling up to the gym at the same time as Josh. Getting out of my car with my gym bag, “hey man, where’s Kevin, don’t you guys normally ride together?”

  “Something was going on with his girl so he said he’d meet us here?”

  Giving each other that, “yeah I know what’s going on with his girl look,” we walk into the gym. Sebastian is already here waiting for us. “Hey man, you just get here?”

  “I’ve been here for a few minutes,” he says, “Camille and SJ were working my nerves this morning.”

  Before I can comment, Kevin walks in along with Terrance and another guy, I think he’s a football player as well. “What the hell is going on, who told Kevin that it was okay to invite this jerk?”

  Sebastian getting up from the bleacher, “yo Kevin, get your ass over here.”

  “Hey fellas, what’s up,” Kevin says.

  “What’s up, why in the hell did you invite them? We play two on two, not three on three,” Sebastian is yelling at Kevin.

  “Man, chill out. What the hell difference does it make? Looking from Josh standing next to Sebastian to me, still sitting on the bleacher, “do you guys have a problem with it?”

  Josh shrugs his shoulders. Getting up to stand next to Sebastian, “yeah, I have a problem with it,” I say, “I don’t like his arrogant ass.”

  “Man come on.” Kevin says, “We are grown ass men. You can’t get mad at him because your woman just happens to be friends with him and you don’t like it.”

  Frowning at him, “who told you that shit, Kevin?” I am pissed at his ass. All these years, we’ve respected one another and now his stupid ass decides to make a change and invite this arrogant son of a bitch. “You know what Kevin, whatever, let’s play.” Looking at Josh and Sebastian who appear to be just as pissed off, “I guess we know what team we’re on, right?”

  As fate would have it, we’re playing man on man and Terrance is my opponent. All through the game, he’s making these smart ass comments while guarding me. Ignoring him, I keep driving to the basket, knocking his ass down every chance
I get.

  “Be nice if you could handle your woman like you handle this ball,” he says after I’ve just made a shot.

  Walking behind him, “what was that bitch?” Sebastian runs up to separate us.

  “You heard me muthafucka, he says while trying to get past Sebastian, “you don’t know how to handle a sista, that’s why you keep tripping every time you see a brotha getting too close to her, right?” Smirking at me, “now a brotha like me, I know just how to handle Ms. Sharon.”

  “No muthafucka, I know how to handle her just fine. Is that why your bitch ass keeps running behind her thinking she might want your cocky ass?” Trying to move around Sebastian and now Josh, I’m charging this bitch.

  “Man please, you had to get her pregnant to keep her.” Rubbing his chin, “I can still tap that ass if I really want to, pregnant or not.”

  I don’t know what happened after that comment, all I know is, I knocked the hell out of him. Feeling Sebastian pulling me off of his weak ass, I think he may have gotten in one good hit. “Let me go Sebastian!”

  “Yeah,” he yells back, “let him go so I can kick his ass.”

  “Look fool, you need to go!” Sebastian turns around pointing at him. “Kevin, remove your boy now before we all kick his stupid ass!”

  “This is a public place and I don’t have to go anywhere. So if think you can, kick my ass, it will be the last ass kicking you’ll claim to make.”

  Kevin, finally realizing that the situation isn’t funny anymore turns around placing his hand on Terrance’s shoulder with a smirk on his face, “man, you need to go, this shit is getting too crazy and we don’t need any unnecessary problems.”

  Pushing Kevin’s hand away, “you can kiss my ass too. You know as well as I do, that that white boy don’t have any business being with a sista and walking all over her like he does.” Going back over to the bleachers to retrieve his gym bag, he turns and looks at Kevin, “would you let him treat your sister like that?”

  “Look Terrance, that’s not any of my business and for the record, you treat sista’s like crap too,” Kevin says.

  “Yeah, but I’m not a white boy doing it.”

  Frowning at him, “what difference does it make what color he is?” Grabbing his own gym bag, “you need to let this go, everybody knows, Sharon isn’t going anywhere.”

  Walking towards the door pissed as hell, he looks at me and says, “you better watch your back from this point on out because if I decide to have a taste of that sweet nectar, your ass will be history.” Giving me the finger, he leaves the gym along with the other guy who probably is still trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

  “What in the hell just happened here?” Joshua has finally found his voice, “Kevin, did you not have a clue that this wasn’t going to go well?” Gathering his belongings, “by the way, wasn’t he your ride?”

  “Yeah, why, you can’t give me a ride?”

  “Hell, no,” Sebastian says, “Find your ass a ride home, you to ruined a good Sunday service by bringing the enemy up into the sanctuary. Kevin, you really need to grow the hell up and realize that everything isn’t funny.”

  Listening to them going back and forth, I really don’t give a shit. All I know is, Sharon talks to this asshole and if he’s screaming this white boy crap in here, what all is he saying to her? “Hey fellas, I’m out.”

  Chapter Thirty Nine

  Going to church was just what I needed today. “I know the plans I have for you,” I keep hearing over and over in my head. Taking a deep, cleansing breath, I finally feel some peace in this whole situation concerning the babies, Aiden and my parents. With the babies, I can’t send them back. God is entrusting me to take care of them so I know that He’ll be with me. Concerning Aiden, I’m just going to wait and see how things work out. The pastor read, that I should “be anxious for nothing,” so I’m not going to base my decision to marry him on the fact that I’m pregnant out of wedlock. Now my parent’s is a different story. I’m going to continue to honor and respect them but I also fully realize that this is my life. I can’t continue to try and please them because they are without sin as well. It’s easy for my dad to pinpoint everything that I’ve done wrong but for all that I’ve done wrong, my wrongs don’t compare to all that I’ve done right. Sitting back on my sofa, I smile a refreshing smile for the first time in months. Hearing the phone ring, I get up to answer. “Hello.”

  Screaming into the phone, it’s Terrance, “Sharon, you better be glad that I like you or I would have kicked the son of a bitch baby daddy of yours’ ass!”

  Just like the devil to try and break peace, “what are you talking about?”

  “Like I said, be glad. He’s out on the court acting all cocky and shit, being disrespectful like he’s the shit, so I told him that he needs to step up.”

  Why was he at the gym, “step up for what?”

  “Girl, I know you’re not that green, he needs to step up and be a man. Here you are disgracing the black race, walking around here with that white boy’s baby.”

  Unable to hold my laughter, of annoyance, “no Terrance, I’m not green. I’m just trying to understand why you feel any of this is your business. And, I don’t owe the black race anything.”

  “So, you’re okay walking around here pregnant by a man who cheats on you, tries to control you and won’t marry you? If you are, then you’re stupid as hell!”

  “Terrance,” I scream into the phone. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. How do you know he hasn’t asked me to marry him and don’t call me stupid again.”

  “If he has asked you to marry him which I seriously doubt, you would have mentioned it and you haven’t. Besides that, why do you let him control you and before you lie and say that he doesn’t, everybody, even Stevie Wonder, can see that shit!”

  “You know what, why I feel the need to explain anything to you, I don’t know but here goes, he has asked me to marry him, many times. I choose not to because I don’t want to later regret getting married. And you know Terrance, I forgave you for all the crap you said when I told you that I was pregnant but in all honesty, I should have told you to kiss my ass! These are my babies to take care of. I don’t care what you are anyone else has to say or think about them. And since you haven’t noticed, I’m mixed. I understand prejudice so what better example for my children than me.”

  “Whatever, he still has your ass on a string. So damn jealous because he knows that if someone else ever gets the chance to tap that ass, he’s history and I told him that shit too. I hate seeing a sista be stupid!”

  “Terrance, lose my number and kiss my black ass!”

  Slamming the phone down, I am so angry at him. Why would he feel the need to call and say all of this crap to me? Lying back on the sofa, I feel unwanted tears falling. Just like the Bible says, the enemy works to steal our peace.

  “So, he called to tell you what happened, huh?” I didn’t know that Aiden was here and I wonder how much of my conversation he heard.

  Glancing over at him standing at the door, “yeah, I guess that was his intention,” I respond, using the back of my hand to wipe away my tears.

  Walking into the den, he takes a seat next to me on the sofa, “so you really think you’ll regret marrying me?” Dropping his head in his hands, “I wouldn’t do anything to intentionally make you have any regrets,” raising his head to look at me, “you do know that, right?”

  Closing my eyes, “Aiden, I don’t think you would intentionally hurt me but I do realize that in our relationship, I’ve not made the best decisions.”

  Frowning at me, “would you care to elaborate on that comment.”

  Looking at him, “I can understand why people consider me as a stupid sista, as Terrance would put it, for continuing to see you after the world knows that you’ve cheated on me numerous times and then getting pregnant. Honestly, it wasn’t too bright on my part.”

  “The pregnancy was an accident.”

  “Yeah, well,
tell that to the people who couldn’t believe that I was having sex with you without using a condom.”

  “I don’t like condoms, you know that, and I would never jeopardize your health or mine for that matter.”

  Taking a deep breath, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Terrance said all that he had to say and I just can’t care about the opinions of others anymore.”

  Laying his head back on the sofa, he’s looking up at the ceiling. “Sharon, I’m sorry for ever cheating on you in the past. I don’t think I’ve ever really apologized, I only made excuses. But I promise you, I haven’t cheated in a year with anyone. I just need you to know that I’m truly sorry.”

  Not sure what I should say to his apology, I remain silent.

  Taking a deep breath, he says, “I am insecure where you’re concerned, Terrance is right about that. When you’ve mistreated someone that you claim to care about, the worst fear is that they will walk away from you or give you a taste of your own medicine. That’s how I feel when I watch you interacting with other men, especially Brian.”

  “Why would you feel that way, I’ve never given you reason to think that I would be with anyone else.”

  “Tell that to my guilty conscious. Take Brian for instance, he really cares about you. There is nothing you can’t ask him to do for you that he wouldn’t move heaven and earth to do. He cares just that much for you. Often I fear that he will make a move that you will reciprocate and I will be history.”

  “Brian would never compromise out friendship for sex.”

  Glancing at me out the corner of his eye, “Brian is a man and you are a very attractive young woman. What Brian has is restraint.”

  “Aiden, not everyone thinks like you. Brian and I have slept in the same bed on many occasions, and he has never made me feel uncomfortable.” From the look in his eyes, I probably shouldn’t have said that but it’s true.

  “Never, you mean to tell me that he’s never touched you in a sexual way?”