His Choice, Her Decision

by Williams, D. C.

  "Thanks to me, what do you mean by that?" Hearing him sigh into the phone, he says, "I hate to hear her cry and it seems to me that whenever I call home, she's always crying."

  I'm so sick of him trying to control everything. Yelling into the phone, "well, maybe you should be home to help with her so that you don't have to hear her cry."

  "Dammit Sharon, just pick her up!"

  "Didn't I just tell your ass that I'm feeding Jaxson? You know how long he takes to eat."

  "Well are you even trying to do anything to calm her until Jaxson is finished?"

  "Yeah, I know what I can do to make her stop crying and that's to hang up on your ass. You act as if I let her cry on purpose or that I make a difference."

  "Don't even think about hanging up on me and I never said that you make a difference. I just mentioned that each time I call, she's crying. Just pick her up. Is that too hard for you to do?"

  Ugh, this freaking idiot! "Bye Aiden, I'm sick of your shit. If you don't like what I'm doing, then you do it!" Clicking off the phone before he can respond, I shut it off because I don't want to talk to him but I really need help. Removing my nipple from Jaxson's mouth, I sit him up and begin to pat his back. Looking over at Maddison, she's breathing all hard from crying. "Maddison, mommy is almost done and then I'll hold you."

  Laying Jaxson down in his bouncer, I properly adjust my shirt and bra before picking up Maddison, who is now panting. Placing her on my shoulder in an attempt to calm her down, I hear the home phone ringing again, I just realize that the answering machine isn't on because it's not allowing Aiden to leave a message. I still don't want to talk to him but I do need to call my mom and see if she's willing to come and help until Aiden returns. Dialing the number to my parent’s house from my cell phone, my dad answers on the third ring.

  "Sharon, how's it going honey?"

  "Um, hi dad." He must know that I'm calling for help because he hasn't called me honey in a long time. And, since Aiden returned that credit card, he's been somewhat distant with me. "Everything is good. Is mom home?"

  "She's here. Are you sure everything is alright? I hear one of the babies sounding somewhat unhappy."

  I knew it, he knows I can't do this on my own. "I'm great, is mom home?"

  "Sure, hold a minute." Hearing him call my mom, I'm not going to feel ashamed that I need help. I haven't had an acting job in over six months with the exception of a few voiceover assignments for two children movies that recently came out. Listening to Aiden, who thinks I need to be with the babies all day rather than having outside help isn't really fair when I really think about it because I never get a break and I need a break. Soon.

  "Hey sweetheart, how's everything going?"

  I guess I didn’t realize how emotional I am because as soon as I hear my mom’s voice, I began to cry. "Mom, I need help. Aiden is out of town and the babies are driving me crazy!" Not taking a break from my outpour, "Maddison cries constantly and Jaxson is always hungry. I don't know if I'm going or coming. I've been cooped up in this house for three months with the exception of going to the store or doctor's appointments."

  "Sharon, you need to calm down and take a deep breath." Hearing my mom take a deep breath, she asks, "Sharon, where is Aiden?"

  "He's working out of state." I say between sobs.

  "Calm down honey, I suppose I could come and help with the babies until the weekend. With tomorrow being Tuesday, I can come after my community meeting."

  I hear the reluctance in her voice to help and I can't say that I blame her. Aiden made it perfectly clear that he, not me, didn't want any outside interference in taking care of the babies. Him and his foolish thinking. Well too bad, I need outside help. "Mom, I don't care if it's just for a few hours, I need a break."

  "I'm really glad you called me, I was beginning to think that you really didn't need our help."

  "Mom, it wasn't me who said that."

  "Yeah, well you sure stood behind Aiden when he made it perfectly clear to not only us but his parent's as well of your decision as new parents."

  "I was just tired of all the bickering back and forth." I knew eventually that I would have to address what happened when the babies were born. "First everyone was fussing about my decision for natural childbirth. Then, everyone was fussing about my decision not to get married before the babies were born and so on and so forth. I was just tired so I didn't speak up at the time. I don't know mom, this is too much and I feel like I'm losing my mind."

  "It's okay, I'll be there. Anytime my baby calls for anything, especially the opportunity for me to take care of her three month old twins, I'm there."

  Finally able to breathe a sigh of relief, I say, "Thank you, mom. I'll see you when you get here on tomorrow."

  Looking down, Jaxson is asleep but as usual, Maddison is still awake. Knowing that when I put her down, she will probably start to cry again until she falls asleep, I decide that for my own sanity that I'll stay seated in this rocking chair. Hearing the home phone ring, Aiden isn’t going to give up until he talks to me which means Maddison isn't going to fall asleep with the noise. Walking into my bedroom to get the phone, "what is it?"

  "You really like to drive me crazy, don't you?" Not saying anything for a few seconds, I suppose he's trying to apologize. "Look, I'm sorry for getting you upset earlier. I realize that you're probably overwhelmed by the babies but it's really annoying to hear Maddison crying when I call home. And, it really pisses me off when I can't reach you when I call. And, not that this is important, but I'm horny as hell and these people are grinding on my nerves today."

  Going back into the den with Jaxson, I don't say anything. How am I supposed to feel sorry for him, his life hasn't stopped?

  "Please say something. I'm sorry."

  "My mom is coming to help me with the babies on tomorrow."

  "What? I thought we agreed to no outside interference."

  Is he insane? I'm about to lose my mind and he's talking about no help, I don't think so. "No, you agreed to no outside interference and when you said that crap, we're you planning to take on jobs in other states?"

  "We both agreed and you know it." Clearing his throat, "and besides, I have to work. How can I take care of you and the babies if I don't work?"

  "You don't need to take care of me. That's another thing, I need to get back to work. The babies are three months old and I'm tired of declining offers because you feel that I should be home with them."

  "There's no I feel you should be. You just need to be there for them. No one will care for our babies like we can." I think he's doing that counting thing he does to remain calm. "What if I fly down to get you and the babies and you come back with me to Colorado until the movie is completed?"

  "Why would I agree to that?" Maddison is finally asleep. "Hold on, Aiden." Laying the phone down, I put both babies into their cribs and turn on the baby monitor before retrieving the phone and leaving their room. Going into my bedroom, I'm exhausted. "We're not coming to Colorado."

  "You and the babies here with me is the only logical solution. Besides, I need you here with me at night. It's cold here at night."

  Sex freak, that's all he thinks about. "After the day or should I say days that I've had, sex is the last thing on my mind."

  Hearing him mumble something under his breath, "how long is your mom going to be there?"

  "I don't know but as soon as she gets here, I'm taking a break and doing something for myself for a change."

  "And you can't wait until I get home to take a break?"

  He really has no idea how hard this has been for me. "Aiden, you have no idea how hard it is to take care of two babies on your own because you've never had to do it. I'm tired. I need a break to clear my mind. In the next few hours, the babies will be awake for their early morning feeding. And the fact that they’re still not sleeping through the night just means that I’m not getting enough sleep to even function properly. It’s too much for one person.”

  "I know it's
hard. If you would at least consider coming here to be with me, I could help. I suggested this to you in the very beginning but you wanted to be stubborn.”

  Yawning into the phone, "Whatever Aiden. I'm going to bed, I'm tired."

  “You’re tired? I wanted us to have phone sex.”

  “Phone sex. Why?”

  “Why? I’m horny, that’s why. Come on, you’ll enjoy it.”

  Yawning again, "maybe tomorrow, after I'm rested."

  "Okay, I get it, you're tired but when I get home, tired or not, you're going to have to take extra special care of me."

  "Um hmm, I'll think about it."

  "While you're thinking about it, think about setting a wedding date too."

  I'm not even going to start talking about marriage with him, I'm too tired. "Goodnight Aiden." Hanging up the phone, I know that Aiden's getting impatient with me postponing the inevitable but I need to take one thing at a time. At least with us not being married, I can send him home when he starts getting on my nerves, most of the time anyways.

  My mom should be here soon and I can't wait. Feeding Maddison, she's looking directly into my eyes. She's so beautiful and like Jaxson, she has Aiden's eyes. It's always baffling to me how someone so beautiful, can be so nerve-wracking. She's just like Aiden, wants things her way all the time. Smiling at me as she's feeding, it's like she's reading my mind. Just as I finish feeding her, I hear the doorbell. "Grandma's here so please behave so that she'll want to stay longer." Readjusting my clothes, I'm like a kid on Christmas morning. Opening the door with Maddison in my arms, "mom, I'm so glad that you're here."

  "Me too! Now give me my grand-daughter." Taking Maddison out of my arms, I'm surprised she isn't crying. "Where is Sir Jaxson," she's asking.

  "He's lying on his play pad waiting patiently for me to feed him."

  "Well grandma's here and we're going to have some fun!"

  My mom is so excited to be here. I'm shocked that daddy allowed her to come alone. "Dad decided not to come?"

  Following me into the babies room, she takes a seat in one of the two rocking chairs. "You know your daddy, his feelings are still a little hurt."

  Picking Jaxson up so that I can feed him, I sit in the other rocker. Throwing the blanket over my shoulder, I'm almost sure my mom isn't like that freak Aiden, who likes to watch the babies feed. He is so nasty at times. "I don't know what else to say to daddy, it seems that no matter what I say, he still shuts me out."

  Smiling at Maddison, who from where I'm sitting, is smiling back at her, "he just realizes that his baby isn't really his baby anymore, she's a grown woman with her own family now."

  "Mom, I'm still his daughter and it really hurts my feelings that he can treat me like he does."

  "Well Sharon, it goes both ways.”

  Frowning at her, "what do you mean, I haven't done anything wrong."

  Looking at me with her direct stare, "could you not have warned your dad that Aiden was returning your American Express card."

  "Mom, I didn't find out that Aiden returned that card until we were headed to the hospital to deliver the babies."

  Nodding her head as if she's trying to decide whether or not she believes me. "So, I guess what he said in his letter was true."

  Puzzled by her last comment, "what letter?"

  "Aiden mailed your dad a letter telling him that he loves you and his babies and that he intends to take care of the three of you on his own." Turning Maddison around so that she's cupping her head with her lying down in her lap. "He included the credit card in with the letter and thanked your dad for taking care of you."

  "Mom, I honestly didn't know that Aiden had done that. I'm sure that dad was probably a little ticked off that it came from Aiden rather than me."

  "What Aiden did wasn't wrong. He was just showing that he's a man. A man who takes care of his responsibilities without outside interference." Smiling down at Maddison, "which still makes me wonder why you haven't gotten married yet?"

  Raising the blanket to check on Jaxson or rather prolong answering my mom's last question...

  "It's your decision of course, but I honestly feel that by you seeking the approval of someone else, and I'm not saying who, that you have this young man out on a limb waiting for you to decide to do something that should have been done prior to these babies being born."

  "Mom, can we just change the subject regarding marriage for now?"

  "Sure, what would you like to talk about?"

  "Anything but marriage." And that's exactly what we did, laughed and talked about everything and everybody. When I finally made it to bed, it was after ten at night. Closing my eyes, I remember that I promised to call Aiden back before going to bed. Picking up the home phone, I quickly decide against using it to call Aiden because I definitely wouldn't want my mom to hear some of the stuff Aiden says on the phone. Especially when I promised him that I would have phone sex with him. Calling him from my cell phone...

  "What took you so long to call me back?"

  "I was talking to my mom."

  "Well since you made me wait so long, you have to also participate in phone sex tonight by touching yourself."

  Laughing at him, "I agreed to phone sex with you but I'm not touching myself."

  In a low voice, he says, "I promise it will feel good, just pretend it's me touching you."

  "No, I can't do it. What if my mom hears me?"

  "She won't, just do it."

  I already know that I'm not going to touch myself but to get him to let it go, "okay, tell me what to do."

  "I'll know if you're lying."

  How will he know? "I'm not lying. I'm going to do it."

  Hearing him smile into the phone. "Now, close your eyes, slowly take your bottom lip into your mouth and pull it out between your teeth. Did you like that?

  Now, put do it again but before pulling it out, lick and suck on it, slowly. "Did you like that?"

  “It was okay.”

  “Just okay?”

  “It was okay.”

  "If it's just okay, then you didn't do it right. Now do it again but pretend it's me sucking on your bottom lip."

  Doing it again, it does feel nice. From there he's asked me to graze my nipples and squeeze. "Aiden, I can't do that because it feels awkward. How can I be pleasured by something that is used to nurture the babies?"

  "Easily, how does it feel when I suck on your nipples?"

  Recalling how hard it was for me to agree to let Aiden taste my breast milk for the first time, comes to mind. "It felt good, but you were doing other stuff."

  “Then pinch and rub them until you get the sensation that you're seeking.”

  Breathing all heavy into the phone, “have you found your pleasure yet?”

  This does feel good. “Yes, but can we move on to something else?”

  Chuckling, "thought you'd never ask. Now, this is what we can do together." Talking me through the whole below the waist play, I'm trying so hard not to scream it’s so good. I hear him grunt his release. "Thank you babe for doing this with me."

  I can't believe I just did this and liked it. "You're welcome."

  Laughing, "are you okay?"

  "Yeah, I'm fine, why do you ask?"

  "Just asking, I can't wait to get home. We may need a babysitter that night."

  Getting out of bed to go wash up, "you must be in serious need if you're suggesting a babysitter."

  "No, you know I was only joking, I'm not letting anyone else keep the babies, especially when I'm home."

  Rolling my eyes, "well you may need to be ready to settle for a quickie if that's what you're thinking."

  "Believe me, it's not going to be a quickie so we'll have to adjust to their timing."

  "Which is what time?"

  "You're not managing your time correctly is all I'm trying to imply."

  Always an argument with him. "How am I not managing my time correctly?"

  Sensing his hesitation in responding, "I say this only because you're
asking, we've been on the phone for almost an hour now. This is time you could be sleeping. Which will be the time that I'll be blowing your mind when I get home. The babies haven't interrupted us one time which only leads me to the conclusion that your aren't properly managing your time."

  Whatever! "So what you're telling me that all this time that I've been on the phone with you, I should have been asleep?"

  "That's exactly what I'm saying?"

  "Do you even think before you speak?"

  "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

  Idiot! "Aiden, I called you back. At your request. And now you're telling me that I should be asleep, right?"

  "This is different, all the other times is what I'm talking about."

  Returning to bed and turning off the light, "you make my head hurt, seriously."

  Laughing, "Sharon, there are exceptions to every rule and this was an exception."

  "Are they only exceptions when they benefit you?"

  Taking his time to answer, "not only to benefit me but I'm not going to start an argument with you tonight, sorry, this morning."

  Glancing over at my bedside clock, "damn, I need to get some sleep, the babies will be up for their feedings soon."

  "Good morning babe, I love you and I'll see you this weekend."

  "This weekend, I thought you wouldn't be home until sometime next week."

  "Nope, spoke with the director and I'll be done shooting on late Friday, hopefully."

  Now, how convenient is that? I tell him my mom is coming to help and all of a sudden he'll be home this weekend. These are exceptions to his rules.

  "Why aren't you saying anything, aren't you happy that I'm coming home, to your home, since it seems we have two homes?"

  So not going there with him now. "Yeah, I'm happy that you'll be back in Bakersfield to help take care of your babies."

  "Wow, you really sound happy."

  "Just observing the exceptions to your rules, goodnight." Hanging up the phone with Aiden, sleep is the last thing on my mind. He always has a way to manipulate things to work in his favor. How ironic is it that all of a sudden, he can be home this weekend? Sighing heavily, I'm wasting my time trying to figure him out.