Remember Me

by Stacey Nash

  His face blurs into the wall and I realize I’m looking more through him than at him as you sometimes do when confused. He slides on to Joshua, and I take a deep breath, hoping he’s right that we work well together. I really don’t think Nik and I complement each other at all. I’m not sure Nik could complement anyone, or maybe it’s me who’s not compatible.

  Once we’re all blessed, the sensor ducks out of the weapons store, and I follow her movement until she’s out of sight. The robe swishes around making her look like she has no shape, kind of like a hanging shower curtain with no person inside, just a face in the opening. The strange woman’s completely puzzling. She seems kind but says the weirdest things. Maybe all the sensors are like that.

  Socrai takes his place before our group, once again breaking my train of thought. “You’ll be teleporting in. One person from each pair will be responsible for the Iretum bands. Let’s go.”

  He steps out of the room and where a moment ago there was excited chatter, there’s now an imminent silence. So oppressive it makes my ears ring. I don’t know what bands he’s talking about, but it must be how the dude landed on top of me, pushing me off the tree platform. Iretum sounds familiar, too … I’m certain I’ve heard Cynnie use the word, or maybe it was Nik. I guess I’ll find out soon enough what they are.

  The group follows Socrai in a cluster, all banded together with our joint excitement and fear. Joshua falls in step beside me but doesn’t speak, his presence alone lending me courage. We pass through the school grounds, going to the transport bay. Socrai heads to a second rack beside the one where our usual hexagon waits. He punches in a code and a purplish transparent field flicks like a popping bubble around the rack. “Take the school transports. Three people to each one.”

  Nik and Joshua both step up to take a transport. Socrai pulls one out of the rack and hands it to Joshua, who cradles it with both hands. Strange, I assumed they’d be too heavy to lift, but he carries it like it’s light as air, just big and awkward. Socrai hands another to Nik and the boys both place them on the ground, stepping onto them. Joshua’s eyes meet mine, and we exchange a silent understanding. Cynnie climbs onto his transport and even though I can feel Nik’s glower boring into me, I jump on too. He can suck it up.

  “Good luck.” Socrai gives us a tight-lipped smile.

  I hazard a glance at Nik and he glowers at me from his transport as the shield rises around Joshua, Cynnie and me. Too bad.

  My arm brushes against Joshua on one side and Cynnie on the other. He punches icons on the screen, and we rise off the ground then zoom forward while he looks at me sidelong. “What did she mean?”

  I shake my head. “I have no idea.”

  “What did who mean?” Cynnie’s voice rises on the last word.

  Joshua clamps his mouth closed, but I trust Cynnie with my secrets. “The sensor. It was like she was trying to give me …” I glance at Josh, “… or us, some kind of hidden message.”

  “Did you speak to her about your …” Cynnie glances at Josh. “Issue?”

  No point us all dancing around secrets. I trust these two more than anyone else I know. “No, I didn’t tell her about my memory.”

  The transport stops. We’re so jam packed in that none of us jostle with the abrupt halt. These things really are designed for two people not three. Joshua touches the screen and the barrier drops. We’re in front of the temple, its impressive sandstone columns giving off an orange hue in the late afternoon sun. A different sensor stands before us, and she doesn’t smile either as she watches each of us disembark. Although my stomach flutters wildly with nerves for the impending mission, I shoot her a huge smile just to see what happens. She looks right at me, face hard as stone, but doesn’t return the friendly gesture. What’s with these women? It’s like they’re not allowed to show emotion.

  Nik’s transport zooms up the hill, jerking to a stop. The three guys pile off and Nik zips to my side, almost pushing Josh out of the way to place himself between us.

  The sensor looks over our group, then pivots and walks up into the temple. We all glance at each other, not sure what to do, but Nik’s the first to move, following the sensor. After a shrug aimed at me Joshua follows his brother. The rest of us ascend the steps into the temple too.

  We enter through the same room we came in the day of the wall cleaving. Today I’m less confused and the sense of panic is gone, so I look around. The mosaic floor holds the same symbol as the councilor’s house, the strange tear, cross, and glob all meshed together. It’s right in the center as we walk through the huge timber doors, clearly designed to be a focal point. Tall fluted pillars seem like they’re merely decoration, lacking the heavy structured tops and bases of those outside. Carved relief adorns the stone walls, art of people and fields and temples. A few stone benches line the edge of the room. The door into the room we assembled in during the attack is off to the right. There’s a matching door to the left and up ahead a long rectangular pool, its water shimmering in the dim light. Two more doors stand on either side of the far end of the pool.

  The sensor leads us down the left side. The water seems to flow through it, the surface rippling with its ebb, but from where I’m not sure. She opens the timber door and we all file through one by one into a large room centered with a massive round mat. It’s made up of a series of ever-shrinking red and black rings, until they reach the center where there’s a solid red circle.

  I feel myself frowning as I look at it but force my face to smooth, not sure why I need to. A stone table holds a computer, and a cabinet stands against the back wall. The sensor moves to it and extracts a small box. I feel like I’m in a vaguely familiar place, looking at things I should remember that have been somehow skewed. Maybe it’s an alternate reality and there’s another me, lost in the wrong world. Now that would be pretty funny, if it were even possible. The thought almost makes me smile.

  “Please stand by your partner.”

  We all shuffle into pairs while she pulls tan material out of the box and hands a wad to Josh, moves on to Xane then gives some to Nik too. I watch as Joshua opens his hand, revealing two elasticized bands, which he pulls over his hands and settles in place on his wrists. Conscious I’m staring, I wait for them to change color like the protective suits, but they don’t. They just sit there like neon signs saying, here I am. I’ve never seen anything like them, I don’t think.

  “Nikias, you first,” the sensor says.

  Nik moves to stand on the mat then tosses his head for me to join him. My chest tightens super quickly and with each step my stomach quivers a little more.

  Showtime.

  When I’m beside him, our feet fill the center circle. He clamps his hand around my wrist and I inhale sharply at the contact. My attention darts across the room to Joshua, whose face is strained as if to hide his concern. Nik’s grip loosens and Joshua scowls as I feel Nik’s hand slide into mine. Letting my hand hang limp, I steal a look at him and Nik’s smirking at his brother.

  Jerk.

  I slide my hand out of his but just as the contact’s breaking he squeezes tight and I can’t pull away without causing a massive scene. He reefs my hand across while he does something with his other wrist and the room blurs into darkness.

  We fall and I squeal. My stomach shoots up through my throat as my body plummets like we’ve jumped off a tall building or we’re falling to the bottom of a dark pit. Just as quickly as it began, we’re slamming into the ground of a shadow-filled alley.

  It’s over.

  Nik yanks me to the side and releases my hand. No sooner have we moved than Cynnie and Xane materialize in the spot where we landed. They drop hands and join us seconds before Joshua and Kalon blink into existence. As my eyes slowly adjust to the darkness, I can see we’re in a dingy brick ally, our backs almost to the wall. On the other side is a dumpster I can smell from here and a door. A huge metal lock bars it closed.

  Nik unsheathes his sword from his waist and walks over to the door, raising the
weapon above his head. Slicing down, it cuts straight through the metal bar. My mouth drops, and I pull it up fast.

  How’d he do that?

  He bangs the door open with his shoulder and Xane rushes in behind him, a yellow device in his hand. A series of beeps sound then Kalon moves forward, followed by Cynnie, both of them looking for all the world like a SWAT team. Whoa, where did that thought come from? I’m not even sure what a SWAT team is, but they sure as heck look like one. I glance at Josh and he looks just as confused as I feel, his too-tight, too-small smile and pinched eyes still betraying his false confidence. He shrugs and sweeps his hand through the air, indicating I should follow the others.

  As I enter the room, the lights flick on and we’re in some sort of stationery room. Shelves line the walls, filled with reams of paper, boxes of pens, and ink cartridges. Nik opens a door on the other side and one by one we flow through. Four people between me and him. Funny, I thought he was supposed to have my back. My stomach starts to quiver again, little shock waves, and as I walk through the door I raise my thumb to my mouth, gnawing on the soft side.

  Now we’re in a much larger space that looks like a wide corridor. White glinting all around us gives it the feel of an institution. A beam of light shines out the door of the room we just left. Cynnie pulls a ruler-length, finger-width rod out of her dagger sheath and it lights up, illuminating the hall in a blue glow. Surely this night can’t get any weirder.

  Nik moves with the silent grace of a house cat slinking along the hall and she falls into step beside him, Xane at her other side with the blue light making his blond hair look aqua. At least someone is taking this whole partner thing seriously.

  The rest of us follow along behind so we’re in two rows of three. Halfway down the lengthy corridor, Nik shoots an arm in front of Cynnie as he stops dead in his tracks, probably knocking the wind right out of her lungs. We all come to a silent screeching halt and I hear it.

  The unmistakable sound of hushed voices.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Will

  After we moved to the lab, the wait felt like it dragged on all night. Now, with my eyes closed but not sleeping I try to make myself stay focused. It’s damn hard when you’re surviving off next to no sleep. Lilly jabs me in the side and my eyes fly open just in time to see a group of them rush through the door with weapons raised. In the blink of an eye they’re on us like a swarm of bees, their angry weapons stinging our soft skin. A bullet zips through the air, hits my shoulder, and bounces right off. Thank God for the protect-it. There’ll be a bruise for sure, but without it, my skin would’ve been pierced.

  A blond kid lashes out at me with a long sword, his chin-length hair flicking across his face. Nice try, buddy. I swing the mace up and as it connects with his side, it zaps him. He slumps to the ground stunned.

  There’s another one behind me, so I raise the mace and as I spin around, it almost crashes into her head. The girl ducks and it misses her small frame by a fraction. She crouches on the ground. The lights flick on, and their glow glints off something in her hand. A dagger. Fist tight around it, she thrusts the weapon at me so I jump back out of the way, swing the mace again, and our eyes meet, my blue to her stormy grey.

  It’s her.

  My chest expands, my heart doubling in size as adrenaline courses through me, bringing everything into focus and making the world crisp and clear. She’s fighting with them.

  Mae.

  Her eyes are cold as hard marble when she raises the dagger, aiming for my neck as if to slice right across it. I can’t … I won’t … fight her. My mace falls to the ground. Can’t she see it’s me? I close my hand around her slender wrist and she glares at me. A moment of brief confusion crosses her beautiful face before she kicks out at my shins.

  I’m like rock while she lays into me. All I can do is stare at the girl I’d die for, cherish every inch. She’s coming home with me. “Stop,” I tell her. “Stop hitting me.”

  She doesn’t. She twists down and away, but I don’t let her go. This is crazy, why is she attacking? I don’t understand … all this, everything I’m doing, is to save her. Why’s she treating me like the enemy? Maybe Beau and Garrett were right. Maybe she’s become one of them.

  “Mae, please stop.” My voice comes out shaky.

  She stops. Stops struggling, stops fighting, her wide eyes meet mine again, flicking across my face. “You know me?” she whispers. It sounds like a plea.

  “Of course I know you.” My chest tightens like a giant hand crushes my heart. “We’ve been friends forever.”

  How can she not know this? What have they done to her? This isn’t right, it isn’t her. Where’s my Mae gone?

  She shakes her head slowly as if she doesn’t believe I’m telling the truth. “Sorry,” she says. “Your tricks won’t work on me.”

  Tricks? She thinks I’m trying to trick her? The hand squeezes my chest till near bursting. “Mae, I’ve lived next door since we were eight, we played funniest treasure every day in Al’s store until we were in the ninth grade. I kissed you … that time you had the mirror …”

  She shakes her head again, but her eyes search mine, a little wary. “You can’t know me.”

  I do know her; she’s Mae, my Mae and I love her. My throat aches as if it’s been lanced with fire. She needs to see.

  “Mae, this isn’t you,” I say. “You’re not Collective, you’re a good person.” I swallow against the huge lump in my throat and my voice breaks.

  Her eyes narrow, their usual clear gray clouded with confusion.

  I’m winning.

  “The Collective are good.” Her voice drops and weakens at the end.

  I drop my hand from her wrist and it instinctively goes to her cheek as a tear slithers down mine. “What did they do to you?”

  My hand moves to cup her jaw and I tilt her head back so I can look into her eyes. If only I can make her see. I scan her beautiful face; I know every tiny freckle on her nose, every blue mark in her gray eyes, every curve of her full lips. Especially where they curl up then dip in the center. Suddenly, I’m leaning in and my lips are on hers as a current shoots through me, awakening my sleeping body. This is her, this is me, this is the way it was always meant to be. She doesn’t resist but leans into me and moves her lips with mine. It’s so right. So perfect. I’ve missed her and I love her and it feels bittersweet to kiss her right now, like this.

  Mae.

  All of sudden, I’m cold. My lips no longer feel the pressure of hers, my arms empty. She’s gone. My eyes spring open and it’s Jax pulling her away.

  “I love you, Mae. Come—”

  They port out.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Mae

  The tall, solid guy with the familiar face is getting to me. I’m not fighting anymore.

  “Mae, this isn’t you.” His hand loosens on my wrist but I don’t pull away. “You’re not Collective, you’re a good person …” He swallows and his voice breaks, gaining an octave.

  A lump grows in my throat. I’m not so sure anymore, maybe it is all a lie. Maybe I’m not even a good person. “The Collective are good.” Am I trying to convince myself or him?

  A tear slides down his cheek and he drops his hand from my wrist. He brushes it against my face with more gentleness than I can remember ever being touched with before. “What did they do to you?” His voice is thick with emotion.

  His hand moves along my jaw and tilts my head back as he stares into my eyes, the blue of his bright as the midday sky. It’s more intimate than I’m used to and he might be a stranger, but I let him. He blinks then leans in pressing his lips against mine, warm, soft and gentle. A stream of pure sadness seeps through me, settling around my heart. I don’t know if it comes from within me or from his tears flowing over my lips. It’s the softest, saddest, sweetest kiss there ever was. I know him. I have to know him. I believe … leaning in, the desire to close my arms around his muscular frame and pull myself to him is so strong.

&nbs
p; A tug at my arm yanks me backward out of his arms and kiss, leaving me cold and more alone than ever before.

  “I love you, Mae. Come—”

  I’m falling, tumbling through the air with a hand clamped around my arm. Seconds, less time than the kiss, and we land in the sensor’s temple.

  Unable to move, sadness still clutching me, I struggle to draw breath. He loves me? I’ve no idea what just happened, but I felt like I was home, like I’d found me but also like I’d been slammed into a wall at the same time. Tears run freely, and sobbing, I can’t stop them.

  “What the … what were you doing?” Joshua yells. “Standing in the middle of a skirmish kissing the enemy … a resistance fighter … for … hell …” His face reddens and his long fingers curl into claws.

  I can’t answer him, I open my mouth, but only a quaking whimper comes out.

  “For f—Damn it, Anamae, of all the stupid things to do.” Anger rolls off his raised voice, but it just makes my tears flow stronger. I have no words, only feelings. Who was he … my friend, he said … he love—

  “He could have killed you, any of them could have killed you. How could you let your guard down?” Joshua turns, stamping in tiny circles.

  My legs tremble and I let them give way beneath me, sliding to the ground. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t not know. I need to know myself. My head drops, my neck unable to hold its weight any longer, my face sinking into my hands. I have no idea who I am or where I belong, and that guy said he loved me and called me Mae. He knew me.

  Josh’s hand slides under my chin, raising my face but I can’t meet his eyes. I’m too hurt, broken, and wrong. I don’t want him to see me like this. I don’t know who I am, who the guy was or what’s happened to my life, but one thing I am growing more and more certain of each day is that Joshua is a huge part of it.