If she was going to talk like that, he didn’t stand a chance of drawing this out any further. He gave one last hard stroke and the orgasm burst through him like a fireball. It traveled down his spine and through his cock, into her body. The muscles of her channel fluttered around him—her own orgasm? God, he hoped so, with one part of his mind. The other part was all pure, primal, grunting ecstasy.
The long, low growl coming from his throat said it all, caveman style. Sex, good. Woman, un-fucking-believable.
When every drop of pleasure had been wrung out of him, he dropped his forehead to touch hers. He kissed between her eyebrows, the little indentation at the top of her nose, then down the bridge of her nose to her mouth. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing hard. He found her lips, full and parted, maybe a little dry from all that panting. He brushed his lips against their surface, rough here, tender there.
Why wasn’t she saying anything?
Oh fuck. What if he’d disappointed her? What if the intense, amazing pleasure he’d just experienced was all on his side? Sure, she’d orgasmed before, with his mouth on her pussy. But maybe she was hoping for more, and he hadn’t delivered.
“That was just a first try,” he murmured. “I can do better.”
Her eyes flew open.
As a former Air Force pilot, he was very familiar with the sky and the many different kinds of blue you could see when you were piloting a jet through the layers of the atmosphere. Her eyes reminded him of the achingly pure light-filled shade you saw after bursting through the clouds, an endless, arching expanse of perfection.
“You’re an idiot,” she said amiably.
Okay, that kind of punctured the moment. “I am?”
She rolled him over so she was on top, and rested her chin on his rib cage. Her hair spilled across his chest, tickling his still-sensitive skin. “You’re worried that I might be disappointed, aren’t you? Because of what I said before?”
“Well, yeah.” Seemed logical to him.
“How could I be disappointed when you made sure I came first? When you got me so aroused I was practically dripping? When you never stopped paying attention to me the entire time? I don’t think you understand that it doesn’t always play out that way.”
“So you’re happy?”
“I’m happy. I’m incredibly happy. And not one bit disappointed. Except for the fact that we can’t stay in bed and do that a hundred more times because you have to pick up Holly soon, right?”
“Shit.” He shot up to his knees. Damn, he’d actually forgotten about Holly. Like, forgotten that he had a daughter, a family, a life. He’d been so focused on Cassie, everything else had gotten obliterated.
He grabbed his phone off the nightstand and checked the time. Ten minutes, whew. It could have been hours too late, and he might not have been aware. Sex with Cassie had practically stopped time. Or at least his awareness of it. “Okay, I’m fine. I have exactly ten minutes to prove how great I am at cuddling. Particularly spooning. Spooning is my specialty.”
He snuggled up against her, his front against her back, adjusting her position so her curves nestled against him. He stroked her hair away from her neck, where it was sticking against her damp skin. He blew on it lightly, making the downy wisps at her hairline lift.
“Mmm, that does feel good,” she murmured, her body melting against his. “I bow to your mastery of the art of cuddling.”
He stroked the curve of her hipbone and settled his hand just there, in the divot between the bone and the soft skin leading to her private area. “What about the rest of it? No bowing down to that?”
“Jury’s still out,” she teased, wiggling her ass against his groin. “I wouldn’t want to jump to any conclusions based on one single time.”
“That’s a really good point. I deserve more opportunities to prove myself. Lots more. As soon as possible.”
She giggled, then turned her head to look at him over her shoulder. Her expression was more serious now. “So you’re okay with all this?”
“Very okay. Are you?”
“I am. As long as we both know exactly what we’re doing, I’m not worried at all.” She rolled all the way over so they were face to face. “I was thinking about Holly, and your worries about her. The main thing is that she should never feel that she comes second, or that her feelings don’t matter. Is that about right?”
He nodded slowly. “Her life was pretty chaotic while I was in the Air Force. She got dragged around to wherever Sylvie took her. I wanted to change that. I wanted to give her stability, like what I got when I was a kid. I never had to think about things like where I would be next year or if people were going to accept me. Holly has it extra-hard because she’s half Asian. Just walking through the door, she knows she might stand out. Not always, but sometimes. She handles it well, but I feel like it’s my job to minimize all the other stresses in her life. Shit, she’s in the teenage years now. And that’s even harder these days, with all the social media crap.”
Her gaze softened and she reached out to touch his cheek. “You’re a good father.”
“No.” Vehemently, he shook his head. “For a bunch of years, I left it all in Sylvie’s hands. All I cared about was my exciting fucking Air Force career.”
“What’s wrong with that? That’s a noble calling, serving your country. Not everyone can fly those jets.”
“I know. But if you’re hurting the people close to you, it doesn’t feel so noble. I never asked Sylvie if she was okay being a military wife. I never asked if she’d be happy raising a kid basically alone. I had this idea that it was supposed to be that way. I’m the man, she’s the woman. That’s the way of the world. Then one leave, I came home and I couldn’t even find Holly. Sylvie had left her with her best friend, Tina. But Tina had gotten in a car accident—with Holly in the car. She was unconscious and they called social services to take Holly. Not even Sylvie knew where she was. We both freaked out.”
He scrubbed a hand through his hair. He hated that memory.
“It sounds like one of those fluky accidents, not anyone’s fault.”
“Yeah well, I was never going to let that happen again. I resigned from the Air Force as soon as we found Holly. I told Sylvie I was going to be home full time, and she could either stay or not, it was up to her. She filed for divorce about a week later. Our relationship was essentially dead by then, I don’t blame her. Like I said, I only blame myself.”
He could tell from Cassie’s sympathetic expression that she wanted to say something more about his great parenting, and he really didn’t want to hear it. He threw up a hand and said with a grin, “You don’t have to tell me how awesome I am, I’m already on board with that. Holly gave me one of those Greatest Dad in the World mugs and I about burst into tears.”
She smiled. “That must have been in her younger years. Now she seems a lot more jaded.”
“She might seem that way, but I know better. You should see her when her favorite Rihanna song shows up on her playlist.”
Talking about his daughter made his throat ache with love and worry. Would that feeling ever go away? He hadn’t fully experienced it until he had sole responsibility for Holly. Before then, he’d been so easygoing when it came to being a father. His biggest angst was trying to decide between a panda bear and a koala at the airport gift shop.
But still, he wouldn’t go back to his old life, not in a million years. The day-in, day-out with Holly, that was worth any sacrifice.
“I’m lucky,” he said seriously. “I really am. And I’m not going to mess up Holly’s life any more than I have already. That’s my one big goal in life now.” His phone buzzed. “That’s her, ready for pickup.”
“Let me grab my clothes and I’ll go.” She slid off the bed. “Thanks for telling me all that. I can see why you’re so protective now. I get it, and I’m totally on board.”
She disappeared into the bathroom and he heard the sound of water running. With a long breath, he shoved his hands through
his hair. It was tough, talking about that kind of thing. But it had to be done.
Because no matter how mind-blowing and earth-shaking sex with Cassie was, no matter how much he felt for her—which might be more than he was ready to admit—Holly came first. He’d made that promise to her, and to himself, and he wouldn’t break it. Not even if he crushed his own heart in the process.
21
As if by mutual agreement, Cassie and Kevin kept things on the light side after that first time in his bed. That was great, as far as Cassie was concerned.
Fantastic.
Exactly how she wanted things.
With Kevin, she never felt tied down or smothered. She never felt ignored, the way she used to feel with her brothers, as if she had to be twice as funny, twice as lively to be noticed. She also never, ever felt disappointed. Especially in bed. But really everywhere and anywhere.
Sex with Kevin was pure magic. Slow when it needed to be, hard when it counted. Being with him was like floating down a river on a whitewater raft, mostly smooth and relaxing, with an occasional patch of wild excitement.
She’d always loved river rafting.
But this was better.
They just had so much fun together. Luckily, Holly had an active social life these days. Friday nights, she often had sleepovers at a friend’s house. Cassie and Kevin would grab a beer at Barstow’s, spend some time joking around, sometimes with her brothers, the Jupiter Point Hotshots, or other regulars like the local fire-and-rescue types. They’d leave separately, just to keep gossip to a minimum.
Then they’d meet at either her place or his, and screw their brains out.
Bless her mother for staying at the Reinhards’ guesthouse and leaving Hunter and Starly’s hillside vacation palace to Cassie. She and Kevin could enjoy it to their hearts’ content. It was too big for one person anyway. What was she supposed to do with four bedrooms, two living rooms, a screening room and a Jacuzzi?
Well, she knew exactly what to do with the Jacuzzi. She and Kevin spent one unforgettable evening learning all about the jets and their various settings.
When Holly went to a weekend camp for debate club training, they barely came out of the house at all. It was a rare rainy weekend in Jupiter Point. They started with a game of Monopoly, which they kept pushing aside for trips to bed. Then they phased into “strip Monopoly,” but they weren’t wearing enough clothes to make that last long. So they segued into “sexual favor Monopoly,” which meant that interesting things happened related to that hotel Kevin put on Park Place.
Finally, by offering a blow job in place of rent for Park Place, she got to put her mouth around him. Somehow all the teasing and negotiation leading up to that made it even hotter. With Kevin, everything was fun, even things she didn’t usually think of as “fun.”
Like cooking chili.
Who knew that hanging out in the kitchen arguing about whether chili was better with or without bell peppers would be the best possible way to spend a Saturday night? And who would have guessed that Kevin would be the one advocating for green vegetables?
“You’re such a dad,” she teased him. “Don’t you want a break from all that healthy stuff?”
“Hmm, good point. There’s always my world-famous hot fudge sundae. I only make it for special occasions.”
“Like what?”
“Like when there’s a naked woman I want to lick it off.” He grinned lasciviously as she made an “ew” face. “Hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.”
“You know I’ll try anything with you. But I’m not a big fan of sticky.”
“Good thing their shower is twice the size of mine and has five times the showerheads.”
“Maybe we should skip the hot fudge and go straight to the shower?” Cassie said hopefully. The first time they’d showered together, he’d turned her to face the wall, then soaped her up and down and everywhere in between, until she’d come against his slippery hand, her breasts pressed against the cold tile.
“I never say no to that shower. Race you there?”
So much for chili.
They resumed the making of dinner once they were showered—again—and satisfied—again.
When they were both working in the Knight and Day hangar at the same time, it was nearly impossible to hide their connection. The only saving grace was that they both wore baggy coveralls and often worked under or behind large vehicles. When other people came into the hangar, they were careful to act as if they were on strictly professional terms. She didn’t want to give her brothers reason to tease her, and he didn’t want word getting back to Holly before she was ready.
Keeping their relationship hidden from Holly grew more and more difficult. Cassie hated deception, especially when it came to kids. As the only girl in her family, she’d always felt out of the loop, as if her brothers had secret passwords they never shared with her. She’d sworn never to do that to a child.
So hiding from Holly didn’t sit right. But she had to respect Kevin’s approach, especially since she completely understood his reasons. He didn’t want to break his promise to Holly. And as long as they both understood that this wasn’t serious and Holly came first—he wasn’t. She knew what she’d signed up for. She’d gone into this with her eyes wide open. She got it.
Mostly.
Sometimes a horrid suspicion drifted through her mind that this was a repeat of the Travis Drake fiasco. Travis had kept her a secret too. All he wanted was to get her alone and naked. He hadn’t cared about her. As soon as Deirdre had caught them after shop class and made Cassie a target of more mockery, he’d dumped her like a hot potato.
But this was different. She was different. Hell, even Deirdre was different.
A few weeks after those drinks at the Orbit, she and Deirdre stood in the wood shop at Jupiter Point High, staring at the table saw.
“I guess this is where it all began.” Deirdre put her hands on her hips and shook her head. “If I could reach through time and slap my teenage ass, I would. Damn, I never thought about it, but that must have been uncomfortable down there with Travis.”
Cassie gave her a wry look. “You do know that I didn’t actually give him a blow job, right? To be totally honest, I tried. I thought, just do this, and people will stop talking about me and Travis won’t dump me. But I started laughing before he even got his pants all the way unzipped. It was just so ridiculous, right there surrounded by hammers and saws. It was like a horror movie setup. I just cracked up. He zipped himself so fast, he caught his underwear in the zipper. I was trying to help him get it out when you walked in.”
“Ho-ly shit. I always wondered what really happened. Travis wouldn’t ever say.” Deirdre slung an arm around her shoulder. ““I’m so sorry I was such a crap person to you. Are we cool now? Enough to do this thing? Do I need to apologize a bunch more first?”
“Nope. We’re cool.” Cassie squinted at the spot where she’d first become the school outcast. “I feel like something’s missing. There ought to be a plaque here.”
Deirdre laughed. “I do love your attitude. Okay, you ready?”
They exchanged a high-five, then set off for the classroom where they were giving their first joint presentation. It was jam-packed, girls lined up against the walls, sitting cross-legged on the floor, sharing seats and desks with each other.
“Hi, I’m Cassie Knight. AKA, the Outcast,” Cassie began. A few of the students laughed.
“And I’m Deirdre Sullivan, AKA, the Bitch from Hell.”
That got an even bigger laugh.
“Before we get into talking about working in male-dominated professions, and what we’d like you all to know about cars and circuit breakers and so forth, we want to share some of our story with you. Twelve years ago, the two of us hated each other. Deirdre tormented me, humiliated me, and stole the boy I liked.”
“Who was totally not worth the bad karma, by the way,” Deirdre said.
Cassie grinned. “And yet, I now consider this woman a frien
d. There’s a reason for that. So, kids, who here has ever had an experience with a bully?”
Most of the students raised their hands.
“Who here has ever gotten an apology from a bully?”
No one raised a hand.
“That’s probably because it takes a lot of maturity to admit you acted like a jerk. And most people who behave like bullies are by definition immature. They can’t face their feelings, so they push all that pain onto other people. Deirdre can say a little more about that.”
Deirdre gave Cassie a nervous glance and fiddled with the notes she’d brought. Cassie offered her an encouraging smile. Finally, she took a deep breath and began.
“For three years I thought I might have a genetic disease. I was scared to death, and I didn’t know how to handle it.”
As she told her story, a hush fell over the room. Cassie scanned the students’ faces, noting fascination, horror, empathy. For sure, they were paying attention. This wasn’t any old presentation they were witnessing. It was more like a confession.
And then her glance snagged on a familiar face. Holly O’Donnell sat on the floor at the back, her knees drawn up, a notebook balanced on them. She was half hidden behind a knot of girls in the back. Her black hair covered half her face as she doodled, only occasionally glancing up at Deirdre.
Something seemed off about her, but it took a moment for Cassie to put her finger on it.
Holly never wore her hair down. Cassie had only ever seen it in a ponytail or twisted into a little knot. Kevin had mentioned that she had kind of a complex about her hair, which she considered too boring to wear loose.
Well, so maybe Holly’s opinions of her hair were shifting. No big deal. Cassie could remember many hair showdowns with her mother, like when Mom wanted to give her bangs.
But was she experimenting with a new style…or hiding behind that long sheet of jet-black locks?
If so, it wouldn’t be so strange. Teenage girls hid behind all kinds of things—piercings, tattoos, wild outfits, Goth makeup, emo makeup. No need to worry just because her hair wasn’t in a ponytail.
Too Hot to Handle Page 17
