A Daddy for Jacoby

by Christyne Butler

  “I thought you might like to see these. Justin hangs Jacoby’s artwork all over the fridge.” She placed the drawings in Richard’s outstretched hands. “As you can see, he’s quite an artist.”

  Sitting back down, she reached into her purse and withdrew her cell phone. Justin watched as she flipped it open and brought up the image of Jacoby and Jack. His heart lodged in his throat, for a reason he couldn’t explain, as she handed the phone to Jacoby’s grandfather.

  “This was taken just a few weeks ago,” Gina said.

  The man eagerly took the phone and gazed at the picture. “He has my wife’s smile…Susan’s smile. Is this his dog?”

  “That’s Jack, he belongs to my sister.” Justin shifted his attention to Gage for a moment. “That’s where Jacoby is, spending the night.”

  Richard’s gaze flickered between Justin and Gina before he spoke. “Is he due home soon? I’d like to meet him.”

  This time, it felt like his heart dropped to his feet before zooming back to its natural place. He fought against the urge to rub his fist against his chest in an attempt to lessen the erratic pounding. “Ah, that might not be a good idea—”

  “He is my grandson,” Richard interrupted.

  “And he’s my son.”

  “Are you sure? Given my daughter’s behavior before she disappeared, you are probably one of many men she was involved with. From what I’ve read, you’ve only known about Jacoby for a month now.”

  The man had every right to ask the question and Justin refused to react to the sudden anger that flashed through his veins. Gina leaned into him, offering support with her warmth and soft curves. Silence filled the room as Justin held the man’s gaze.

  “Yes, I’m sure. I have the DNA results to prove it.” He sat a bit taller and squared his shoulders. “I understand the last couple of days have been very traumatic for you and your wife, Mr. Ellsworth, and I’m sorry about that, but I will be the one to tell Jacoby about his mother and his grandparents.”

  Finally, Richard nodded. “It’s going to be a few days before her body is released. We’re holding services next weekend in Boulder. We would like for Jacoby—for the both of you—to be there.”

  Twelve days and they were finally home.

  Gina’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel as she headed for the cabin, remembering how Justin and Richard Ellsworth had exchanged phone numbers that Sunday morning in the cabin, then everyone left. She’d wanted to stick around, but Justin had already started to pull away from her, both physically and emotionally. When he’d asked for time alone, his voice so heartbreakingly sad and his goodbye kiss so tender, she’d gathered her things and drove home in Gage’s truck.

  Two days later, Justin and Jacoby left for Boulder and except for one quick call, she hadn’t heard from them. He’d phoned Racy to let her know they’d arrived safely, except Gina had ended up intercepting his call because she’d been at her boss’s desk. She’d heard the surprise in Justin’s voice when she’d answered and he’d kept their conversation short. She’d asked about Jacoby and he’d said the boy was subdued but fine. When she asked him how he was doing, a long silence filled the air before he’d replied with the same answer and ended the call.

  Now they were back.

  Racy had handed her a take-out order when her shift ended, asking if she’d like to make a delivery. She’d glanced at the name. Justin.

  Parking her car, she grabbed the bag and walked to the porch. She raised her hand to knock when the door swung open.

  “I’m ready to go— Oh, hi, Gina!”

  She looked down through the screen door at Jacoby dressed in his baseball uniform, the number two on the front of his jersey. “Hi, are you getting ready for a game?”

  “Just practice. I’m waiting for Dustin’s mom to pick me up.” Jacoby pushed open the door. “You wanna come in?”

  “Where’s your dad—”

  “Jacoby, did you say something—”

  Justin stepped into the living room, pulling a denim shirt over his shoulders. He froze in the doorway and she was powerless to look away. He looked the same but different. There were lines around his eyes, like he hadn’t slept well. Considering all that had happened she wasn’t surprised, and she wanted nothing more than to go to him and wrap him in her arms.

  Instead, she held up the bag of food. “I have your order from The Blue Creek. Delivery service complimentary.”

  “Ah, thanks,” Justin said. “We just got back this afternoon and there’s no food in the house.”

  “Come on in, Gina, I’m starved!”

  She pulled her gaze from Justin and smiled at Jacoby. Entering the cabin, she set the bag on the dining room table and tried not to watch as Justin buttoned up his shirt, but it was impossible.

  The last two weeks had been quiet and lonely without these two guys in her life. She missed seeing Jacoby at the library and stopping by the ball field to watch him play. And after that amazing night she and Justin had shared, she missed him, too.

  “You’re going to have to eat after practice,” Justin said. “Unless you’d rather stay home tonight?”

  “But I’ve missed a lot already ’cause of—’cause we went to Colorado.” Jacoby turned to look at Gina. “I guess you know about my mom, huh?”

  Gina dropped into one of the chairs at the table. “Yes, and I’m really sorry.”

  “We had to go to her funeral. There were a lot of people there.” Jacoby shrugged. “I didn’t know any of them except my dad. My mom…she was laying in this really fancy box with lots of flowers around her. She looked like she was sleeping, but I knew she really wasn’t.”

  Gina willed away the sudden sting of tears. Her resolve was tested even more when Justin moved in behind his son and placed his hands on the boy’s tiny shoulders.

  “My dad didn’t make me go up and look at her,” the boy continued. “But I’m never going to get a chance to talk to her again. That stinks.”

  “I know what you mean. My daddy died when I was a little girl and I still miss him very much.” Gina glanced up at Justin, finding his gaze on her. She focused on Jacoby again. “But when I want to share something with him I still talk to him.”

  “Really? Do you think he hears you, even if he can’t answer?”

  “Yes, I’m sure of it.” She nodded, watching as Jacoby seemed to think about what she said for a long moment.

  “We stayed in a motel for a couple of days.”

  Surprised at the switch in topics, she went with it. “Was it a nice place?”

  “Yeah, then we went to stay with my grandparents. They’re my mom’s mom and dad. They said they had plenty of room for us and, boy, do they ever! Their house is huge!” Jacoby spread his arms wide. “They have a ton of bedrooms and a three-car garage and a great big backyard with a swimming pool and it has a waterfall and jack-uzie.”

  “Jacuzzi,” Justin cut in.

  “Right, one of those things. The water gets really hot and there’s lots of bubbles and— Oh, wait until you see this!” Jacoby pulled from his father’s touch and raced to his bedroom. Seconds later he was back, pushing a shiny two-wheeled bike. “Isn’t this cool?”

  Gina looked from the bike to where Justin now stood at the kitchen counter, but his attention was on emptying the bag of food. “Wow, that’s a nice bike.”

  “Grandpa Richard and Grandma Liz gave it to me. And guess what? I have another one just like it down at their house, so I can ride it when I go to visit.”

  Before Gina could think of a response, a car horn beeped.

  “That’s Dustin. I gotta go.” Jacoby turned to his dad. “Can I leave this out here for now?”

  Justin nodded. Jacoby put down the bike’s kickstand and grabbed his baseball glove and duffel bag from the couch.

  “Hey, hold on.” Justin handed Jacoby a small cooler. “Your aunt Racy made your favorite sandwich and I added a couple of bottles of water.”

  “Thanks, Dad. Bye, Gina.”

  Gina wav
ed goodbye. Justin walked Jacoby outside and helped him get into the already-crowded minivan. Justin watched the van drive away, and once it was out of sight, he went to his truck for a moment before coming back inside. Closing the door, he slumped against it, his posture one of hopelessness.

  “Are you okay?”

  He shook his head. “It’s been a long couple of weeks for Jacoby.”

  “For the both of you.” Gina rose, wanting to go to him, but unsure if she should. “Jacoby seems to be handling things okay.”

  “Because the Ellsworths made it so easy for him while we were there.” Justin sighed, slapping the manila envelope in his hand against his leg. “And so damn hard for me.”

  “For you—What are you talking about? What happened?”

  “When we were ready to leave, Liz Ellsworth was getting Jacoby settled in the truck, while Richard pulled me into his office. He said he wanted to talk…about Jacoby’s fu-future—”

  As his voice broke, she crossed the room and wrapped him in her arms. Justin stood as if frozen in place, but she only held him tighter, wishing she could ease whatever burden he was carrying.

  He finally relented and leaned into her, holding her close for a moment. Then he reached up and unhooked her arms and stepped away. “Look, I appreciate you bringing the food, but I’ve got a lot to do—”

  “What happened, Justin?”

  He returned her stare for a long moment, then handed her the envelope before he walked across the room. Gina opened the envelope and pulled out folded paperwork, recognizing it as a legal document. She started to read the opening paragraph, but shock at the words stopped her.

  “What is this?”

  Justin ignored her question as he went back to dividing up the take-out order into plastic containers.

  “Justin?”

  He finally stilled. Looking at her, his dark eyes held that familiar unreadable emotion she’d seen before. “The Ellsworths want custody of Jacoby.”

  “What?” A silent scream rose from deep inside her. Her fingers clenched the document. “I can’t believe this. What are you going to do?”

  Justin remained silent.

  “You’re not thinking of agreeing, are you?”

  “They’re good people.” He rounded the counter and came back into the living room. “And they’re the kid’s grandparents. Their daughter raised Jacoby for seven years—”

  “And did such a great job she decided to walk out on him and leave someone she barely knew to pick up the pieces!”

  “I’ve only been in the kid’s life a month.”

  “And in that time you’ve proven you’re capable of taking care of Jacoby.” She tossed the paperwork onto the table. “Look at all you’ve given him—”

  “Clothes from a discount store and a secondhand bed.” He waved a hand toward Jacoby’s bedroom. “I’m not talking about those things. My father made sure I had the basics and no one would vote him Father of the Year.”

  She heard the conviction behind his words. “You’re not your father.”

  “I was raised by a man who took a belt to us, who berated my siblings and me with cruel and belittling words whenever the mood struck him. How do I know I won’t turn out to be the same?”

  Justin paced the length of the room. “It hasn’t been all baking cookies and reading stories around here. Jacoby’s struggling in school. He’s behind the other kids in everything from reading to math. He gets angry and frustrated and he’s starting to act out. And all of that was before he found out about his mother.”

  Gina had noticed Jacoby’s refusal to participate in the library story hour when the children read a few pages aloud. “It’s tough being the new kid in school. Maybe he just needs more time to adjust.”

  “It’s more than that.” Justin dropped his voice to a low whisper as he jammed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I mentioned his nightmares before. Well, they haven’t stopped. The first time it…it scared the hell out of me when I realized he wasn’t really awake, just sort of stuck between what was going on inside his head and consciousness.”

  “Oh, that’s terrible.”

  “His eyes are open but vacant, and he’s crying…crying for his mother.”

  The pain in his voice, the defeat in his hunched shoulders was too much for Gina. She went to him, placing her hand on his arm. “And you help him through that.”

  “I talk to him, calm him down, and eventually he goes back to sleep. The first night I sat in the corner of his room and watched him until the sun came up. When I try to bring up what happened the next day, he claims he doesn’t remember what he dreamed about.” Justin backed away and went to the counter. He braced his hands there, his back to her. “But to hear him…crying out for her and now she’s gone…”

  Fear seized her in a viselike grip. “And you think the Ellsworths can fill that void better than you?”

  “Gina, look at the differences between us.” He turned back to her. “I live in a two-bedroom shack owned by my brother-in-law. I work in a bar with my hours cut because I need to be here at night. Thankfully, my sister is paying me enough so I’m getting by, barely. My truck is almost to the legal drinking age and ready to fall apart.”

  It broke her heart to hear him talk that way. “Justin, you’re not giving yourself a chance. The cabin is beautiful with all the work you’ve put into it. Jacoby’s mother grew up in a mansion and look how she turned out. It’s not about where you live but making a child feel loved and safe and cared for.”

  An idea popped into her head. “And who says you have to continue working at the bar. You have a college degree and you were fantastic with those kids at the dance. You could teach.”

  “What kind of fantasy world do you live in, Gina? I got that degree while in prison for drug trafficking. Do you really think the school board is going to allow someone like me to teach their kids?”

  “But you were great at the dance! Talking about what you’ve learned from past mistakes, not to mention you put yourself in harm’s way to protect those kids.”

  She had to make him see there was so much more to him than his past. That he could have a future with his son and maybe even with her, if he would just believe in himself.

  “You’re wonderful with Jacoby. I know it’s been hard since he came into your life, but please don’t demean what you’ve accomplished. You’re a good man, Justin. Your son needs to be with you and you need to be with him.”

  “What I need doesn’t matter anymore. The moment that boy came into my life, my wants and needs ceased to be important. I’ve been a selfish, self-centered person most of my life, always looking out for number one.” His words were passionate, but his face expressionless, his eyes cold and lifeless. “That’s not who I am anymore. I have to put what Jacoby wants and needs before anything else.”

  He’d already made up his mind.

  For a long moment Gina could do nothing but stand there, utterly still, as if an icy shower had splashed over her. It seeped into every crack and crevice until it reached her heart. The pain numbed her from the inside out until it felt like she was made of glass, ready to shatter if he uttered one more word.

  “Well, I’ll leave you alone to make your own decision.”

  He blinked, as if her words woke him from a trance. “Gina, I’m sorry, but you don’t understand…”

  She closed her eyes.

  Justin was right. Who was she to tell him what he needed? Because she loved him and his little boy?

  Yes, she loved Jacoby.

  She loved him as much as she loved his father. And she couldn’t stick around and watch Justin throw it all away. “I do understand, Justin, more than you could possibly know.”

  A week later, Gina answered the knock at her front door, knowing it was Racy. “Thanks for coming by so quickly after I called— Ah, hi, Jacoby.”

  “Gina!” Toting his raggedy pillow case, the little boy entered and gave her a big hug.

  “I didn’t know you’d be here,” s
he said.

  “Sorry about this,” Racy said, following her nephew inside. “I’d just picked him up at school when you called.”

  “Yeah, my dad has an appointment, so I’m hanging out with my aunt Racy,” Jacoby said. “Cool, huh?”

  “Very cool,” Gina agreed, forcing her smile to stay in place.

  An appointment? It had to be with the Ellsworths.

  A sharp pain jabbed at her heart, and she tried not to respond. She’d thought she’d accepted this physical reaction that happened every time she thought about Justin. Maybe someday it would fade, but for now, she needed to let go of wanting to help him live his life.

  It was past time she focus on her own life.

  “You sounded like you really wanted to talk,” Racy added, “so I thought I’d stop by and tell you it’ll probably be until after dinner tonight before we can hook up.”

  Garrett entered from the kitchen. “Hey, Racy,” he said around a mouthful of chips. “Hey, squirt. What are you two doing here?”

  “They stopped by for a visit.” Gina eyed the junk food. “Aren’t you supposed to be studying for finals?”

  “Taking a break for a nutritional refill,” Garrett said, then turned to Jacoby. “You ever play Space Blaster 9000?”

  Jacoby shook his head.

  “You’re in luck. I’m about ready to crack the galactic warrior level.” He headed for the stairs. “Come with me.”

  The boy looked at Gina. “Can I?”

  Racy nodded, so Gina said, “Sure, if you want.”

  Jacoby raced after her brother, catching up with him at the first step. “What are they going to do?”

  “Girl talk, probably.” Garrett handed off a soda can to Jacoby as they made their way to the second floor. “You know, makeup, nails, clothes, that kind of stuff.”

  Gina tried not to laugh at the way Jacoby scrunched up his nose at her brother’s words. She looked at Racy and found her with a wide smile.

  “Garrett is so like Gage,” Racy said. “But that was a sweet thing to do. So, I guess we can have that chat now, even though I’m still not happy about you quitting on me so suddenly last weekend.”