Raine's Haven

by Shari J. Ryan

  Raine's face slips between my legs, and his hands squeeze tightly around my thighs as he forcefully creates more space. His tongue casts into me, pulsating and dancing, and moans escape my throat as I lose control. The pressure from his tight grip around my thighs and the speed of his flickering tongue have stolen my breath and jump-started my pulse. If I had a heart attack and died right here, I'd be okay with that. “Oh my God...Raine...” Needing something to hold onto, I tug at his hair, pushing him down further, holding him in place.

  Just as I think I can't take anymore, he pulls away and runs his warm hand over the spot where his mouth just was. "Not yet," he says. There is nothing left about this act that's gentle, and it's exactly what I need. His hand, now wet from my excitement, travels up the center of my body until his fingers meet my lips, forcing me to become intimate with myself in a way I never expected to find arousing. But everything about this moment is brutally hot.

  Raine reaches across the bed, where one of his pant legs is draped over the side. He retrieves a condom and tears the wrapper apart with his teeth as he slips the rubber on faster than I thought any man could be capable of.

  Falling back into me, his mouth nips at my earlobe as his hands hold my hips steady. As I brace for what I can barely remember, I'm almost shocked when he presses himself inside of me. His thickness isn't something I recall, but it's been a while, and I'm beginning to question every memory, or lack thereof, that I have with this man. My earlier memories of intimacy with Raine were those of a girl. Being with him now, as a woman, is an entirely different experience, definitely better than I expected.

  He isn't careful or concerned about hurting me like he was our first time. Treating me like I can take what he's giving, he uses a strength I desire and force I want more of. “Holy shit,” he grunts.

  With almost direct aim, he hits a spot deep inside of me, over and over again, making me shudder against his weight. I press my fingernails into his back, pulling him in further, needing every inch of our skin to connect in some way. “I think I might—Raine, oh my...I—”

  “Finish for me...I want to watch you release.” His words are too much; the gravelly sound of his voice is like a feather lightly brushing against my sweet spot.

  Sweat beads between us then trickles down my stomach, inflaming every sensation firing through me, and in the last moments of holding onto a pleasure that I know can't possibly last, Raine’s eyes and his hard stare blaze right into mine, watching me like he said he wanted to. Looking at me the way he is, I have trouble holding my focus as I completely unravel for him.

  He knows I've come to an end when my moans turn into soft, breathless gasps for air, and he pumps into me a few more times through heavy, erratic breaths before his body collapses on top of mine.

  "Same feeling," he says into my ear.

  I twist my head to look up at his sweat-covered face. "What do you mean?"

  "You’re my haven," he says. "You once made me feel safe, even if it was taken from me moments later."

  I slide my fingers up the side of his face, feeling sensitive to the sharp stubble along his cheek. "I'm sorry," I say.

  "Don't be. I feel that way again now." He smiles warmly and kisses my forehead. "Your parents might be the biggest assholes to step foot on this earth, but they knew when they named you, you'd be someone's safe place someday." And just like that, I remember why I never stopped loving a man who I was so sure hated me. "Stay with me tonight. Please."

  I rest my head down against his chest, right over his racing heart. "This is all I wanted today," I tell him. “This is all I’ve ever wanted.”

  "I'm afraid this is all I can give you."

  29

  Raine

  Having no money, no food, and no shelter, I acquired various labels—a neanderthal, a hobo, a mutt, a bum, and a loser. Even with all those derogatory nicknames, I never thought I would end up trapped here in the middle of four cement walls.

  They brought me to a minimum-security prison that has a cafeteria, a common area, and a bathroom. It's not as big as I figured most prisons are, but the one thing I am sure of is that the man who put me on this earth isn't located here too. That was my one fear while being transported to the prison after receiving my sentence.

  My cell has a small window and enough space for two beds and two small lockers. My roommate is an older man, imprisoned for breaking into a house and stealing ten thousand dollars’ worth of crap—another thief in this shitty place. Rocco doesn't say much, but he talks in his sleep, mostly about his kids and how sorry he is for missing out on his grandkids' first years.

  I haven't said much of anything since I've been here either, though. My mind has done nothing but spin in circles, trying to understand why Haven would lie about such a stupid thing. She looked surprised, as if she didn't realize what we were doing was so wrong. I never would have let things go so far if I had known the truth. However, none of this can change how I felt about her.

  Now, I'm just angry, pissed, furious—I don't know exactly what I'm feeling. Technically, this is all Haven's fault, but I know Mayor Leigh was just waiting for me to slip up, and it was my own stupid fault for giving him exactly what he was hoping for. Haven was the bait. That's why he agreed to employ me. At least, that's what I'm thinking. What kind of father uses his daughter like that?

  A ten-year sentence with the possibility of early release for good behavior, but a minimum of seven years; that's how long they want me to sit in this room and rot, thinking about the girl who lied to me, and her father who wanted to take away more from me than he had already taken.

  Sitting here thinking about this will surely make me crazy. I had no defense in court. It was like the whole town turned on me at the say so of Mayor Leigh. He's working hard at making every resident his puppet, and he's doing a damn good job so far. It was like the judge took one long look at me and made his decision based on what I was wearing. If he only knew what Mayor Leigh did to my life, things would have been different. But I had no proof, no time to find evidence, and no one to stand in front of me and fight. Mayor Leigh knew all of this.

  I hoped Haven would come to the hearing and admit to the truth, but she didn't show, and that's something else I want to blame her for. I'm trying hard to convince myself she doesn't have the same rotten DNA lacing her body that Mayor Leigh does, but if there’s one lie...who knows many others there were. She said she loved me… Was that a lie?

  I tried to sleep, but having Haven in my arms is a feeling I need to hold onto. After going through waves of anger, resentment, and heartache while in prison, I felt like a lunatic by the time I was released. I was confused. I didn't know how to feel about her. I didn't know if I was still angry or if it was just her father I hated more than anything. Then, the next minute, I thought I was out of my mind for even considering forgiveness. Now here I am, back where we started, back before I felt any resentment, before I had to fight against hating her.

  It's about nine in the morning when Haven finally stirs out of a deep sleep. She does what I would do if I woke up in her arms: Her eyes open, and she looks around, piecing events together, remembering how she ended up naked and why she's in this bed, curled up under my arm. Then a smile tickles her lips. It wasn't a dream like she thought for a split second.

  "Good morning," she murmurs through apparent happiness, her morning hoarseness making her sound adorable.

  "Hey," I say with a smile, running my fingers through her messy auburn waves.

  "I want to stay here all day," she says through a yawn, as she snuggles closer to me.

  "Well, checkout is in an hour, so I'm afraid that's not a possibility."

  "Shit! What time is it?" she snaps, jerking upright.

  "What's wrong?" I ask, sitting up alongside her.

  "I ran into my mother yesterday on the way out of their house. She told me to meet them for breakfast this morning, so they could discuss something with me."

  At the mention of her mother’s name, the reverie
is broken. "What time were you supposed to be there?"

  "Now," she groans before plastering her hand over her face.

  I’m confused by her worry about showing up on time for breakfast with them, when the extent of her anger toward them has been so evident this past week.

  "Well, they can't do much to you for not showing up," I tell her. "You're an adult now."

  She runs her hands through her hair, yanking it with frustration. "Yeah, but she was asking me odd questions and—"

  "You're afraid of what they know," I confirm.

  "Hence the Sex on the Beaches last night," she expels through a long exhale.

  "Why didn't you tell me?"

  "I didn't want to worry you until I heard what they actually knew."

  Thoughts race through my head like wildfire. I'm good at doing things out of anger rather than thinking everything through carefully. So, to calm myself, I place my hand around hers and bring her knuckles up to my lips. "I'm coming with you, then." This is probably a horrible idea.

  A breath hitches in her throat, and she chokes out a "What?" before adding, "Are you crazy?"

  "Yeah, just a bit," I tell her. "I'm not afraid of your father, Haven. He has no reason to throw me back into prison, and I spent most of the night thinking of a game plan." Which I'm unsure of right now. "While I think there's a good chance you may find evidence in his office, I won't be able to afford an attorney to do anything with it afterward. My word won't hold up in court, not against the mayor. I truly have one option, and it's straight up blackmailing."

  Haven pulls the sheets up to her chest, her knuckles turning white from her grip. "How do you plan to do that?"

  "Just give me a chance," I tell her.

  With a nervous look in her eyes, she silently agrees with a slight nod of her head. Secretly, I can't wait to see the look on Mayor Leigh's face when he spots me walking into his house—another moment I've dreamt about.

  Haven slips into the bathroom, and I hear the water from the shower pelting against the plastic shower curtain. Kicking the thin sheet off my body, I grab my last condom from the back pocket of my jeans and stalk toward the bathroom, rapping my knuckles against the door before walking in. "I'm just taking a quick shower," Haven says just as I see the shower curtain reel over the metal rod.

  "Yeah, me too.” I tear the curtain back open.

  "Hey!" she giggles.

  I step into the shower with her, taking in the beauty of her flawless body that was concealed within the darkness of the night. Her breasts are twice the size they were back then, and her hips have filled out, creating the perfect curves of her slim figure.

  With her bottom lip pinched between her teeth, she backs up against the shower wall, offering me space to join her. "I don't think I’ve told you how beautiful you are today," I say, placing my hands around her waist, enjoying the silkiness of her wet skin.

  Her fingers splay across my chest, and while they feel small, I can sense her touch across every bare inch of my body. As she wraps her arms around my neck, I lift her up, allowing her legs to tangle around me.

  She softly kisses the length of my neck as loose strands of her hair slink like silk along my skin. Impatient and greedy, I pin her against the wall as I drag my mouth to her neck, biting and sucking, feeling her moans vibrate through her throat. Her legs untangle from around me, and she slips down against the wall, falling into the steam as she wraps her hand around my cock.

  I close my eyes, feeling the mixture of hot water dripping down my back and her warm mouth enveloping half of my length. The movements of her tongue prove a skill I never knew she had.

  Haven takes me in as far she can, sucking gently, then harder, each movement a surprise. My body is moving on its own accord, in and out of her smooth, wet lips, praying I last long enough to enjoy as many seconds of this as I possible.

  She continues to moan, and the vibration is amplifying every damn second of this experience as she works magic with her tongue. I glance down, needing to memorize this view, finding her doll-like eyes staring up at me with a blazing heat. It's the hottest fucking thing I've ever seen.

  Completely enamored by the moment, I pull at her hair and spill into her mouth. Oh shit! I worry for a split second, knowing chicks don't always love what I just did without warning, but she doesn't flinch as she swallows everything I give her.

  Still looking up at me, she drags the back of her hand against her bottom lip and smiles gently. "You turned into quite the woman," I mutter. I reach outside of the curtain, grabbing the condom I left on the rim of the tub before hijacking Haven's shower and slip it on just as she stands up. I flip her around and wrap my arm around her breasts while plunging into her from behind. A small gasp catches in her throat, but she presses her hands against the wall, inviting me to continue.

  With my hand cupped around her sex, I toy with her to double the pleasure for both of us, and it’s only seconds before her moans are echoing between the walls, forcing me to lose my sense of balance. “Raine, don’t stop...please, don’t…”

  As I listen to her moans turn into full-blown screams, I know we're feeling the same type of pleasure, and I love watching her body thrust against mine.

  I squeeze my hand around her breast while pinching my fingers around her hardened nipple, and I release into her, feeling all of my turmoil mix with her sweetness. “Holy shit, Haven,” I groan.

  God, she's breathing so heavily, making unfamiliar noises I'd like imprinted into my head like a memory I can replay like a song. “I don’t know if I’m going to be able to move again anytime soon,” she utters.

  “I hope that’s not the case,” I whisper into her ear.

  When her body becomes limp in my arms, I turn her around, scooping her back up so she wraps her arms and legs around me. "You are...I don’t even have words," she breathes.

  “I’m not sure anything could describe that, but you know, I can tell you I’m not proud of the places I've been, Haven, but you are one place I wish I could photograph and hang up in a frame."

  She laughs quietly and rests her cheek on my shoulder. "That's the craziest—hottest thing anyone has ever said to me."

  "You make me say some pretty crazy things." I hug her tightly, feeling a million different things I'm not sure I can put a label on. One thing is for sure, though… "You also made me realize that I've needed a hug for seven long years." As I confess those words, she holds me tighter, and I finally feel like I’m home.

  Along the road of my fucked-up life, I convinced myself I didn't need love, affection, or human touch with any sort of emotion behind it, but now that I feel so much at one time, I realize what I've been missing. I need someone to look at me like they give a damn. I need someone to touch me like they've never wanted to touch anything else. And, I need someone to hold me and share their warmth.

  Or maybe, I've always just needed her.

  I watch Haven wash up her hair, her body, and her face, taking in the sight of her purity, and wanting nothing more than to share the feeling with her.

  When the shower turns into a trickle, the realization is loud and clear, highlighting what stands before us, and it feels like another hill we'll need to pull ourselves up. My life has been one giant mountain for most of my life, and I haven't given up yet, so hopefully the peak isn’t so far away anymore.

  We both get dressed and gather our few belongings before checking out of the motel for the day. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" Haven asks as we head down the street.

  "No, I don't think this is a good idea," I tell her honestly. "But I'm running out of options."

  30

  Haven

  "Haven, is that you?" a voice calls from the bottom of Mom and Dad’s driveway just as we reach the front door.

  I turn, finding Maryanne standing behind us, cowering forward as if she were in pain.

  "Bennett told me—"

  "Maryanne," I say, releasing an angered breath. "I don't have time for this right now."

  "
Please," she begs. "I need to apologize."

  "No," I bark. "You don't. You did me a favor, trust me. He's all yours if that's what you and your husband decide is best." I know my words are full of rage, and I hope they hurt her as much as she hurt me.

  "I told him," she says. "He left me this morning."

  "Well, consequences suck," I tell her.

  She bobs her head around as tears fill her eyes. "I don't expect forgiveness. I just wanted to say I was sorry." Raine's hand slides up my back, reminding me he's here. "Raine?"

  "Hey, Maryanne," Raine responds quickly.

  "Glad to see you're out," she says. She knows the truth. She was there for me as a friend would be, which is why we finally became real friends, or so I thought, but friends don't cheat with or steal boyfriends. The one person I let in as a friend…and this is what I get.

  "Good luck with everything, Maryanne," I tell her without cracking. This hurts. It hurt when I figured this all out. It hurt admitting it out loud, knowing about their love affair for months. I am so sick of the lies. I just want to put all this behind me.

  She raises her hand in front of her chest, offering a silent goodbye. Maybe someday I can forgive her, but not now. Definitely not now.

  She leaves without another word and shamefully walks back in the direction of her parents’ house, where I’m sure she’ll be staying now that her husband knows her truth.

  Consequences suck. Dad's about to learn that too.

  "You okay?" Raine asks.

  "I haven't been okay for a very long time, but it is what it is. The people I have been surrounded by are not the most honest—a trait money seems to bring along.”

  Raine places a kiss on my temple and squeezes his arm around my shoulders. "Deep breath. You need to stay strong right now."

  I do as he suggests and slowly breathe in and out a few times before approaching Mom and Dad's front door. I feel uneasy as I step inside, hearing the same quiet I became too familiar with throughout my life. "Mom, Dad, I'm home." With Raine, the man I never stopped loving, no matter how much you didn't want me to even know him.