Door in the Garden of Shadows

by April Canavan

  But as the light grew closer, she saw that it was a person. It wasn’t just any person. It was the Shade Queen. The woman who ruled the shadows. “Irina?” She screamed the name, hoping for a reaction.

  When Irina turned her head in Mykah’s direction and smiled, she knew that everything would be okay.

  The shade was standing in front of her in less than a minute. “Princess. What are you doing here? You don’t belong here.”

  “Irina, where have you been?” She reached for her friend and pulled her into a hug. “I’ve missed you so much.”

  “Oh, I found this doorway in my realm, and I guess I got lost for a few hours.” A smile graced the face of the shade. “What do you mean? I saw you a few months ago for your father’s celebration.”

  Oh no, “A few hours? Rina, you’ve been gone for almost six years. No one has known where to find you,” Mykah said, knowing that Irina was about to lose it. “I need to get home. I can’t stay here.”

  A look of shock and rage contorted her friend’s face. She was shrouded in darkness, but it didn’t detract from her ethereal beauty. Her skin was pale and white, with high cheekbones. Her eyes were silver and red, her hair black and falling down her back, floating on air. Her jeans hugged her skin, and she wore a dark gray hoodie that rested against her hips. Mykah had always found the Shade Queen to be the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. Existing in the shadows, and yet she was full of life.

  “It can’t be years, Mykah. I have a kingdom to take care of.”

  “I swear to you, it has been years. We need to go.” She didn’t know what else to say. She didn’t want to be here any longer. If Irina thought she had only been here for a few hours, there was no telling how long had passed since Mykah had arrived.

  Irina reached for her, “Hold onto me. Be careful, it’s going to be rough. I’m sorry for anything you see.” She grabbed Mykah’s hand, and they were moving through the air.

  Mykah couldn’t see any of their surroundings, and if her friend said anything, she didn’t hear it. Instead, she was stuck inside her head.

  Fire filled the air. A woman was stuck, screaming for help. Yelling for a man that was fading into the distance to come back to her. In an instant, they were gone. An ocean appeared in front of her, and a tidal wave was moving towards an island. People were screaming, but they had nowhere to run. Mothers held their children and kissed them goodbye as the waves crashed down around them.

  Again, the vision shifted leaving them in a forest. A wedding was taking place, but the bride was crying. The groom was nowhere to be found, and the guests were covered in blood. The door stood in the background, and darkness was seeping out of it. The images shifted again, and she knew exactly where they were now. The underworld. Now, she knew what was happening. She saw the future. Adam was holding a woman’s body in his arms, crying for help that wasn’t coming. He was holding a sword in one hand with his sister standing by his side; tears flowing down her face. When the vision shifted once more, she feared what it would show next. There was only darkness.

  “Tyler, I need you.” The words, seared into his mind, summoned him to the Malice Court.

  In an instant, he was there, running towards the screams. He burst through the crowd and pushed to the front where he saw Jessica.

  “Jessica,” he called for the fae queen. “Where is she?”

  The look on her face told him that something was desperately wrong. Turning to see what the rest of the people were looking at, he saw the vision he had had all those months ago.

  Mykah was standing in the middle of hundreds of fae children, her blood flowing into the ground around her. She touched them all, and they came back to life. Everyone watched, shock and awe evident in the crowd, but something changed. There was a door. There hadn’t been a door in his vision. She put the key into it, and it opened. She walked into it and looked directly into his eyes. Then it shut. It disappeared, and it took the woman he loved with it.

  “What happened?” Jessica was crying, and she didn’t answer him. “Jessica,” he slapped her across the cheek to get her attention. “What the fuck happened.”

  Jessica told him everything. About the elder grove, and the sprite warning them. She told him about the garden and everything that had happened. She blamed herself for not being able to keep Mykah safe, but Tyler knew the truth. He was the reason she was gone. The court itself had tried to warn him. It had pleaded with him to keep the princess safe. He had let his emotions get in the way. Now she was gone forever, and he only had himself to blame.

  Without saying another word to the dark fae queen, he turned and left. He would find a way to destroy himself.

  Mykah was back in the human realm. Falling into a routine after everything that happened would be easy. The last time Mykah had lived as a human, it was the result of a punishment. All her choices had been taken away from her. Not this time. This time, she had made a decision. She had sacrificed her immortal soul and had lost almost all her power to save her world.

  It was freeing, the knowledge that she could go anywhere, do anything. She was even thinking about getting a job, something to make her feel like a real human. After all, she was going to live a human life, and she should get used to it. The only problem would be that she didn’t really have any marketable skills. Mykah thought about college, but she didn’t even have a high school diploma. She would need help, but she didn’t want to go to her sister. Jessica deserved peace after everything that had happened.

  Tyler wasn’t an option. Instead, she picked up her phone and called the two people who would be able to help her the most.

  Twenty minutes later, her front door was opening and in walked Peyton and Maddox. Peyton decked out in a pair of bright red leggings that matched her short hair, and a black tank–top with a gray cardigan pulled her into a hug that would have crushed an average person. Struggling to see anything over the werewolf’s embrace, Mykah saw that Maddox had a massive smile on his face. His green eyes were glowing luminescent.

  “Princess,” he greeted. “Forgive us, but like everyone else, we were under the impression that you had died. Something about you disappearing in the middle of the rose gardens at the Malice Court. After saving all the fae children.”

  She gave him a small smile, and only when she tried to look in his eyes did she see the pain there hiding in their green depths. “I didn’t die. The mother of all made sure of that. I was left as a human.”

  “Oh, I can tell.” Peyton sniffled and pulled away from the hug.

  Mykah could see the tears streaming down her friend’s face, and realized the mistake she had made in keeping her survival a secret.

  Maddox asked, “Does your sister know?” And even though she knew he was worried about her, all she could hear was the condemnation in his voice because they all knew that she hadn’t.

  Unable to look at her friends anymore and face their disappointment, she turned away. “No. I didn’t want to hurt her.” But when she tried to get out of Peyton’s hold, the werewolf just tightened her arms.

  “Oh, hell no. You better tell her. Now. I’m not about to face the wrath of the dark fae queen.” Peyton let go of her, and put a phone in her hands. “Make the call, send the text. Whatever you have to do.”

  Sighing, and knowing that it was time. She sent the text. One line was all it took. Tá mé beo, grá agam duit deirfiúr mhór.

  Peyton must have been looking over her shoulder because she piped up as soon as the text had sent. “What does that mean? Some sort of super fae message?”

  “No. I just told her that I was alive and that I loved my big sister.” Rolling her eyes at the werewolf, she got down to business.

  Waiting for her friends to take a seat, she got comfortable on the couch and prepared for the third degree. Surprisingly, neither of them started to drill her.

  “I need help. Obviously, I’m going to be living in the human world. I need to acclimate myself. A job, school, whatever.” Mykah knew that she couldn’t do i
t alone, and that’s why she had called them. She knew that she couldn’t rely on her power for everything. Especially since she didn’t even know how much power she had or if it would disappear one day.

  Maddox waved a hand and soda appeared on the table in front of him, along with snacks. “Tell me, you’re not using your fae power, why?”

  Explaining what she was thinking would be a problem, especially since she didn’t have the right answer, but she tried anyway. “Because I’m not sure how to use whatever power I have left. My fae power relied on nature, and I don’t feel it anymore. Which is the other reason why I asked you here. I was hoping you could train me to control my magic?”

  Maddox just looked at her like she had grown a second head until Peyton elbowed him in the ribs. “Um, you’re fae royalty,” he wheezed. Once he had shot Peyton a dirty look, he continued. “Why do you want me to do it? For that matter, why aren’t you having Winter do it? Because you know for a fact that you’d be welcome in the Blood Court.”

  Mykah closed her eyes and rubbed her temples with her fingers. “Don’t you get it? I don’t have the same power I did before. It’s not the same. I’m human, and I need to learn the same way. I’m not going to run to the vampires because of him.”

  Peyton took a turn, “Well I think he was getting at the fact that you should go train with Winter, the mother of witches. While we’re on the subject, why don’t you answer the question of why neither Jessica or Tyler merited being told you were alive?” She took one of the candy bars that Maddox had conjured and tore into the plastic wrap before breaking a piece off and eating it.

  She was so engrossed in watching her friend demolish the chocolate that she didn’t notice the shift in the air. “Yeah, we’re wondering the same thing.”

  That voice. He was here, and just like that Mykah couldn’t breathe. The room got smaller by the second, and she couldn’t move.

  Daylight was filtering through the trees, pouring into the clearing Tyler spent the majority of his time in. Since he had let go, since the moment he had watched the love of his life walk through a door that was supposedly holding the key to stopping the destruction of all magic behind it, he had given up. He had walked away from his duties and responsibilities in the Blood Court. He hadn’t bothered to say goodbye to Zander, his friend would understand. If something happened to Sarah, the Blood King would destroy everything in his path.

  Tyler wanted nothing more than to destroy the world, but Mykah wouldn’t have wanted that. She would have told him to cool his jets and calm down. So, he spent his time in the wilderness. It made him feel closer to her. If he talked to himself when no one was around, the trees wouldn’t tell anyone.

  Instead of moving on, he replayed every moment of the time they had spent together. He remembered the way she felt in his arms the night Dante had changed both their lives. If he hadn’t killed the despicable vampire, Tyler might have to thank him. The dance they almost shared, the way her lips felt against his, and the sound of her coming apart in his arms. These were all things that went through his mind as he sat, staring blankly into the woods around him.

  “Tyler,” Jessica’s voice, so different than the one he wanted to hear, broke the silence.

  He didn’t even blink. “What, Jessica?” If he didn’t answer her, maybe she would leave him to wallow.

  But Tyler wasn’t prepared for what she said, not really. “She’s alive.” His head jerked around, and he saw the look on her face.

  Nothing else mattered. Jessica reached for his hand, and he took it. They didn’t need to waste any more time. If Mykah had survived walking through the door and shutting it on her world, they had to find her. For the first time since he thought she had died, he didn’t want to destroy himself.

  He wasn’t alone, she could feel her sister’s presence. They were behind her, moving closer. She couldn’t run. She couldn’t hide, but there was no way she could face them either. She had no excuse for not reaching out to them, other than the fact that she didn’t want to complicate their lives. Jessica would look for a cure, a way to restore her immortality. Tyler would insist on turning her into a vampire, to give her that eternal life, if he found out.

  That wasn’t what she wanted. Either choice would make her reliant on something else. She would be forced to live as a half–fae for however long it took for Jessica to find a way to restore her immortality. Or, she would be stuck relying on the blood of living creatures to survive. She didn’t want to live that way. She needed to be herself, and the only way she could do that would be to live as a human. She lacked the skills to survive on her own, outside of the benefits of her standing as royalty.

  Instead of hiding from the confrontation, instead of running from who she was or what she wanted, Mykah turned to face the two people she loved the most. As she did, she worked up the courage to tell them exactly that.

  “I’m not coming back.” She looked at both of them, and the sight of Tyler nearly tore down her resolve.

  He was the same, and yet so different. Mykah didn’t know how long she had spent in the in–between. He looked disheveled, despair evident on his face. His hair had grown, and he had a beard now. His eyes looked exhausted, and if she hadn’t known any better, she would think that Jessica had dragged him out of a liquor bottle. Taking a deep breath, she realized that is probably exactly what happened.

  He opened his mouth and closed it, not saying a word. She could see the heat flashing in his eyes, and she would have been absorbed by them if it wasn’t for her sister’s voice.

  “Why, Mykah?” That voice, so very much her sister’s, whispered across the room. “You’re alive. You should be with family. Or even the goddamn marshmallow.” Everyone else in the room laughed at her statement, except for Mykah and Tyler.

  He just kept staring at her, and she wished that she had an answer for him. An answer to the question she saw in his eyes. She didn’t have anything for him. It wasn’t that she didn’t have feelings for him, and it definitely wasn’t that she couldn’t think of her future without him. When Mykah didn’t answer her sister, Jessica harrumphed and sat on the couch next to Peyton and Maddox. She knew this because she could see her out of her peripheral vision, but nothing else mattered besides the anger and frustration she saw in Tyler’s eyes. They were asking her why. Why she would let him think she had died. Why she didn’t want to be with him. As though no one else was there, he moved forward and cupped her face in his hands. Bringing his forehead to hers, their breath intermingled. Neither of them said anything for so long that Mykah was sure the others must have left.

  It wasn’t until he leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips that she realized she hadn’t been dreaming. “You left me again, princess.” The soft murmurs against her skin sent shivers straight to her core.

  She couldn’t apologize for leaving, though. It was her destiny. “I know. I didn’t mean to.” Hesitantly, she tilted her mouth up to return his kiss.

  “Were you going to tell me you were back?” He looked into her eyes once more, and it was obvious that he knew, he just wanted her to admit it.

  Swallowing her resistance, she managed to say, “You know the answer to that.” But when she tried to look away, he held her face still.

  She couldn’t tear her gaze from his. “Why, princess?” And she could see the fear in his eyes because he knew the answer.

  She had to say it, “I’m human, Tyler. What’s your solution to that?” They both knew the answer, but she had to make a point.

  He smiled, knowing exactly what he’d do. “Easy, I’ll turn you. Zander and Sarah know that I’m in love with you, and–”

  “No.” She interrupted him, and before he could say anything continued, “I don’t want that. The spell severed my connection to all of the natural magics and stole my immortality. I’m essentially human, and I can choose whatever I want going forward. It’s my choice. Not yours. Not Jessica’s. Not the mother’s. Mine.”

  He kissed her on the nose, “Choose me, t
hen. I won’t force the change on you. I can’t lose you, not again.”

  “I choose me. That’s the point, Tyler. You’re amazing, and if it could be anyone–it would be you. But I choose me.” That was the end of it as far as Mykah was concerned. She kissed him again, and walked away.

  She had been right; the other people had disappeared. When she went into her room, Jessica was there sitting on the edge of her bed holding a pillow.

  “You know, he didn’t believe for a second that you were really gone. He has been trying to figure out how he could follow you to the Eternal Isles.” Jessica sniffled and wiped her nose on the back of her hoodie sleeve. “You could have called me. Or come home.”

  “No. I couldn’t. You can feel the change. My magic is different. It cost me a lot to restore the elder grove and then my immortality was the price to save the fae children.” Mykah didn’t have to say anything else, Jessica had been there. She had seen what had happened in the garden.

  With the dignity only a queen could have Jessica said, “You are a hero to our people. You will always be treated as such.”

  “But this is my choice, Jess. I can stay here and live a life. I can learn how to control my magic, be trained as a witch. I wouldn’t be able to do that at home. The fae all have magic in their veins. Flowing into the land around them. I don’t have that anymore.”

  “I want you to be happy, and if that means that you live in the human realm then so be it. You know you always have a place at my side.” Jessica pulled her into a hug, and Mykah couldn’t remember the last time she felt so loved.

  “Is breá liom tú.” She didn’t need to say anything else.

  “I love you too, little one. You have my support. Now get some rest. I’ll take the vampire with me.”