2 - Stone of Tears

by Goodkind, Terry

  When they were clear of the woods, and into the open hills, he slowed Bonnie to a walk and pried Pasha's hands off.

  She clamped them right back. 'Richard! I might fall!'

  He pulled her hands loose again. 'You're not going to fall. Just hold on easy, and let your hips move with the horse. Use your balance; you don't need to cling for dear life.'

  She gripped his sides. 'Well, I'll try.'

  The sky was turning golden as they descended the rounded hills toward the city. Richard swayed with Bonnie's steps as she went over rocks and across shallow ravines, and thought about the mriswith, and his hunger to fight it. The craving to go back into the Hagen Woods still burned in the back of his mind.

  'Your ankle isn't really twisted, is it?' Pasha asked after a long ride in silence.

  'No.'

  'You lied to a Sister. Richard, you must learn that lying is wrong. The Creator hates lies.'

  'So Sister Verna has told me.'

  He decided he didn't want to ride anymore with her holding on to him, so he dismounted and lead Bonnie by the reins. Pasha scooted forward into the saddle.

  'Then why did you do it if you know it's wrong?'

  'Because I wanted to make Sister Maren walk back. She made you walk all the way out there again as punishment for something that was not your fault.'

  Pasha slid off Bonnie and came up to walk beside him. She raked her fingers through her hair, trying to arrange it to her satisfaction.

  'That was very nice of you.' She put a hand on his arm. 'I think we're going to become good friends.'

  Richard pretended to turn and look around as he walked so that her arm fell away. 'Can you get this collar off me?'

  'The Rada'Han? Well, no. Only a full Sister is able to remove a Rada'Han. I don't know how.'

  'Then we are not going to be friends. I have no use for you.'

  'You have gone to great risk for Sister Verna. She must be your friend. A person only does such things for friends. You went out of your way to see that I had a horse to ride back. You must hope we can become friends.'

  Richard watched the country ahead as he walked. 'Sister Verna is not my friend. I did as I did only because what was done to her was my fault and was unjust. That is the only reason.

  'When I decide to get this collar off, only those who help me will be my friends. Sister Verna has made it clear that she will not help me get the collar off. She intends that it remain on me. When the time comes, if she stands in my way, I will kill her, the same as I will kill any other Sister who tries to stop me. The same as I will kill you, if you stand in my way.'

  'Richard,' she scoffed, 'you're a mere student; you shouldn't brag about your powers so. It's unbecoming to a young man. You should not even joke about such things.' She took his arm again. 'I don't believe you would ever hurt a woman. ...'

  'Then you believe wrong.'

  'Most young men have trouble adjusting at first, but you will come to trust in me. We will become friends, I'm sure of it.'

  Richard yanked his arm away and spun to her. This is no game, Pasha. If you get in my way when I decide the time has come, I will cut your pretty little throat.'

  She peered up at him with a coy smile. 'Do you really think I have a pretty neck?'

  'It's a figure of speech,' he growled.

  He moved on, tugging Bonnie ahead. Pasha hastened her step to keep up. She walked in silence for a time, busying herself with pulling little knots and burrs from her hair.

  Richard was in no mood to be pleasant. Killing the mris-with had brought him a strange feeling of fulfillment, but it was fading now, and his frustration with his situation was returning, and it brought with it the anger.

  Pasha's face brightened. She put on a pleasant smile.

  'I don't know anything about you, Richard. Why don't you tell me about yourself?'

  'What do you want to know?'

  'Well, what did you do ... before you came to the palace? Did you have some kind of skill? A profession you worked at?'

  Richard scuffed his boots through the dirt. 'I was a woods guide.'

  'Where?'

  'Where I grew up, in Hartland, in Westland.'

  Pasha pulled the white blouse away from her chest, trying to dry it. 'I'm afraid I don't know where that is. I don't know about the New World. Someday, when I'm a Sister, maybe I'll be called upon to go there, and help a boy.'

  Richard didn't say anything, so she went on. 'So you were a woods guide. That must have been scary, being out in the woods all the time. Weren't you afraid of the animals? I'd be afraid of the animals.'

  'Why? If a rabbit jumped out of a bush, you could just burn it to ashes with your Han.'

  She giggled. 'I'd still be frightened. I like the city better.' She pulled some hair back from her face and looked at him as they walked. She had a funny way of wrinkling her nose. 'Did you have a ... well, you know, a girl, a love, or anything?'

  Richard was taken by surprise at the question. His mouth opened, but no words came out. He snapped it closed. He was not about to discuss Kahlan with her.

  'I have a wife.'

  Pasha missed a step. She hurried to catch back up. 'A wife!' She considered a moment. Her voice now had an edge to it. 'What is her name?'

  Richard kept his eyes straight ahead as he walked. 'Her name is Du Chaillu.'

  Pasha twisted a strand of hair around her finger. 'Is she pretty? What does she look like?'

  'Yes, she is pretty. She has thick black hair, a little longer than yours. She has attractive breasts, and the rest of her is shapely, too.'

  From the corner of his eye he could see Pasha's face glowing red. She picked at the end of the strand of hair. Her voice came quiet and cold, despite her trying to layer indifference over it.

  'How long have you known her?'

  'A few days.'

  Her hand fell away from her hair. 'What do you mean, a few days? How could you only know her a few days?'

  'When Sister Verna and I went to the Majendie land, a few days ago, they had her chained up. They were going to sacrifice her to their spirits, and they wanted me to do the killing. Sister Verna said I was to do as the Majendie wished, so we could pass through their land.

  'Instead, I disobeyed Sister Verna, and shot an arrow at their Queen Mother, pinning her arm to a pole. I told them that if they didn't let Du Chaillu go, and make peace with the Baka Ban Mana, I would put the next arrow through the Queen Mother's head. They wisely agreed.'

  'She is one of the savages?'

  'She is Baka Ban Mana. A wisewoman. She is not a savage.'

  'And she wed you because you were her hero? Because you rescued her?'

  'No. Sister Verna and I had to go through her land, to come here. When we were there, I killed her five husbands.'

  Pasha snatched him by the arm. 'They are blade masters! You managed to kill five of them?'

  Richard started walking again. 'No, I killed thirty of them.' Pasha gasped. 'Her five husbands were among the thirty. Du Chaillu is their spirit woman, and said I was now the leader of her people. She said that since she was the spirit woman, and I their leader, their Caharin, I was now her husband.'

  Pasha's smile crept back. Then you aren't really her husband. She was just telling you some of her savage ... some of her Baka Ban Mana spirit babble.'

  Richard didn't say anything. Pasha's smile evaporated. Her scowl returned. 'Then how do you know what her breasts, and the rest of her, looks like?' She looked the other way and gave a sniff. 'I suppose she rewarded you for your valor.'

  'I know because when they sent me in to kill her, she had a collar around her neck and she was chained to a wall. She was held naked in that collar so that men could rape her whenever they wanted.' Pasha swallowed and looked away again. 'She is with child, now, by one of those men. I guess that because the people to be sacrificed are held in a collar, the Sisters never gave a thought to putting a stop to it. I don't guess the Sisters care much what happens to someone in a collar.'

  '
The Sisters care,' Pasha said in a small voice.

  Richard didn't argue. He walked on in silence. Pasha looked cold as she folded her arms beneath her breasts. The sky was turning a deep purple, but it was not getting cold; it was still warm.

  After a time, Pasha's step regained a bit of its bounce. She glanced over, the smile back.

  'So, what about you? You have the gift. Did your father have the gift, too? Is that where it was passed down from?'

  Richard's mood sank like a rock in a well. 'Yes, my father had the gift.'

  She looked up hopefully. 'Is he still living?'

  'No. He was killed a short time ago.'

  Pasha smoothed the front of her skirt. 'Oh. I'm sorry, Richard.'

  Richard's hand tightened on the reins. 'I'm not. I'm the one who killed him.'

  She froze. 'You killed your father? Your own father?'

  Richard's glare locked on to her. 'He had me captured, and put in a collar to be tortured. I killed the beautiful young woman who held the leash to that collar, and then I killed him.'

  She had no trouble mistaking the threat in his voice, his words, or his eyes.

  Her lower lip began to quiver, and then Pasha burst into tears, turned, and ran. Holding her skirts up in her fists, she went around an outcropping of rock and ran off over the edge of the hill.

  Richard let out a long sigh as he tied the reins to a slab of granite. He patted Bonnie's neck.

  'Be a good girl. Wait here for me.'

  He found Pasha sitting on a rock with her arms wrapped around her knees as she cried. Richard came around to face her, but she turned her face away. Her shoulders shook as she gasped in racking sobs.

  'Go away!' She put her forehead against her knees as she wailed. 'Or did you come to slice me to bits?'

  'Pasha -'

  'All you care about is killing people!'

  'That's not true. I want nothing more than to end the killing.'

  'Oh, sure,' she cried, 'that's why you speak of nothing else!'

  That's only because -'

  'I've been praying for this day nearly my whole life! All I ever wanted was to be a Sister of the Light. The Sisters help people. I wanted to be one of them!' She succumbed to her tears. 'I'm never going to be a Sister, now.'

  'Sure you will.'

  'Not according to you! From what you keep telling us, you intend to kill us all! From the first moment, all you have done is threaten us!'

  'Pasha, you don't understand.'

  Her tearstained face came up. 'Don't I? We had a big banquet to make you feel welcome, bigger even than the harvest banquet. I had to go without you and tell everyone you were ill. They all stared at me! The other novices get boys who want to learn. My friends have come to me before, complaining that their young charge brought them a frog or a bug in his pocket. You bring me a mriswith!

  'Sister Maren said we did well today. She hardly ever says that. It's not something she does unless she really means it.

  'You were cruel to Sister Maren. She has been headmistress of the novices ever since I came here. She is strict, but that's because she cares about us. She watches out for us.'

  Pasha gasped back a sob. 'When I was little, the first day I came to the palace, I was scared. I had never been away from home. Sister Maren drew a little picture for me. She told me it was a picture of the Creator. She put it on my pillow and told me He would watch over me in the night, so I would be safe.'

  Pasha tried to stifle the tears, but couldn't. 'I've always kept that picture. I wanted to give it to my boy on his first night, so he wouldn't be afraid. I had it with me yesterday. When I saw you, saw that you were grown, I knew I couldn't give it to you. I didn't want to embarrass you.

  And when I saw you, I thought, Well, Pasha, he's not a young boy, like all the other novices get, but the Creator has given me the handsomest man I ever saw. I was so glad I had on my prettiest dress, the one I had been saving for that day.' She gasped for air. And then you tell me I'm ugly!'

  Richard's eyes slid closed. 'Pasha, I'm sorry.'

  'No you're not!' she cried. 'You're nothing but a big brute! We had everything prepared for you. We gave you one of the nicest rooms in the palace. You didn't care. We provided you with money for whatever you might need or want, and you act as if we insulted you. We had fine new clothes for you, and you turn your nose up at them!'

  She wiped her tears, but more replaced them. Td be the first to admit that there are some Sisters who think too much of themselves, but most are so kind they wouldn't even step on a bug. And you hold up a bloody sword in front of them and vow to kill them!'

  She held up fists full of her skirt and covered her face as she convulsed in sobs. Richard put a hand on her shoulder but she pushed it away.

  Richard didn't know what to do with his hands. 'Pasha, I'm sorry. I know it must seem like -'

  'No you're not! You're not sorry at all! You want the Rada'Han off, but that's what my job is, to teach you to use your gift so you can get the collar off. But you won't let me! Without the collar, you would have died.

  Two Sisters have given their lives for you. They will never come home to their friends. Those friends wept in secret, and put on a smile to welcome you. In return for trying to help you, trying to save your life, you threaten to kill us all!'

  Richard put a gentle hand to her head. 'Pasha ...'

  'I'm never going to be a Sister. Instead of getting a boy who wants to learn, I get a madman with a sword. I'll forever be the object of laughter at the palace. Young girls will be told to behave themselves or they'll end up like Pasha Maes, and be put out like she was. My dreams have come to ruin.'

  It hurt him to see her sobbing in such pain and sorrow. Richard took her up in his arms. She fought him at first, trying to push him away, but when he pulled her against him and put her head to his shoulder, she went limp and cried all the harder. Richard held her tight and rubbed her back as she trembled and cried. He rocked her gently in his arms.

  'I only wanted to help you, Richard,' she sobbed. 'I only wanted to teach you.'

  He hushed her. 'I know. I know. It will be all right.'

  She shook her head against his shoulder. 'No it won't.'

  'Yes it will. You'll see.'

  Finally, her hands came up, clutching his shirt as she cried. Richard didn't try to stop her tears, he simply held her, trying to give her comfort.

  'Do you really think that you could teach me to use the gift, and that then the Sisters would take the collar off?'

  She sniffled. 'That's my job. That's what I've been training for. I wanted so much to show you the beauty of the Creator, of his gift to you. That's all I wanted.'

  Her arms circled him. She clung to him, as if trying to soak up succor. He stroked her hair.

  'Richard, when I touched you yesterday, when I touched your Rada'Han, and felt something of your Han, I felt some of your feelings. I know you hurt inside. It made me hurt just to feel a little of it.'

  Her hand came up to the side of his neck, as if to comfort him. 'I don't know of many things that can cause that much hurt. Richard, I'm not asking to take her place.'

  Richard's eyes closed as his head sank down on her shoulder. He swallowed back the pain. She ran her fingers through his hair and held his head to her.

  After a time, he found his voice. 'Maybe it wouldn't hurt me to occasionally wear one of those outfits.'

  She pushed away a little, looking up through her tears. 'Maybe just to the dining room, with the Sisters?'

  He shrugged. 'That would be a good use of them, I guess. You pick one you would like me to wear. I don't know anything about fancy clothes.' He managed a small smile. 'I'm just a woods guide.'

  Her face brightened. 'You would look handsome in the red coat.'

  Richard winced. 'The red one? Does it have to be the red one?'

  She ran her finger down the Agiel hanging from his neck. 'No, it doesn't have to be that one. I just thought it would look good on your broad shoulders.'

 
Richard sighed. 'I will feel foolish in any. It might as well be the red.'

  'You will not look foolish; you will look handsome.' Pasha grinned. 'You'll see. All the women will be batting their lashes at you.' She lifted the Agiel. 'Richard, what is this?'

  'Just sort of a good-luck charm. You ready to go back? I think you need to get started teaching me. The sooner you start, the sooner I get this collar off. Then we'll both be happy; you will be a Sister, and I will be free.'