Rock Steady

by Dawn Ryder

  “You know you’re thinking about the swing.”

  “Right now, I’m thinking about hosing you down.” She wiggled until he released her. “With cold water.”

  He shook his head, making his hair fly, and bit the air between them.

  “Animal,” she accused him softly.

  He moved up beside her, hooking his arm around her back and locking his hand on the curve of her hip. “I love the way you pet me.”

  He did.

  And she enjoyed knowing he did. She’d never thought she’d get such a buzz from going down on a guy, but the truth was, it excited her. Did that mean she was a control freak? If so, they had that in common. Her cheeks remained scarlet as the salesgirl completed the transaction. But the reason behind the blush changed to temper when Ramsey tried to hand his credit card to the girl.

  “It’s going to be my phone,” Jewel argued as she extended her arm so her bank card was closer to the girl.

  “Which I’m insisting you buy.” He winked at the salesgirl and sent her a grin. “Make sure you pay up the account for the next year. We travel a lot. Monthly statements can be a hassle.”

  The girl promptly nabbed the card out of Ramsey’s hand, clearly seeing her commission increase.

  Jewel wanted to argue, but she realized it was deeply personal, at least on her end, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to share it just yet. She had trust issues, there was no way around admitting it, and honestly, a big part of it came down to lack of confidence in herself and her ability to hold on to the attention of a man like Ramsey. She stood there biting her lip as Ramsey signed the sales slip and the girl handed her a little bag. Ramsey didn’t give her a chance to open a conversation either. He knew she was simmering, but he clasped her hand and pulled her toward the door.

  “We can’t be late to Taz’s sushi dinner.” He unlocked the helmets and handed her one.

  “Lucky you.”

  He paused before slipping on his helmet. “Chill-lax. What is the point of me being successful if I can’t enjoy it once in a while?”

  She snorted at him. “Way to turn things back on me.”

  He offered her a grin of victory before he pulled on the helmet. She followed his example and climbed onto the back of the bike.

  She’d lost this round, fair and square.

  Except you got a new cell phone out of it…

  That part bothered her the most, because she didn’t want to be kept, and since she’d signed on with Toxsin, she’d done little work. Sure, it could be argued that what Ramsey had purchased was her time, bringing her along to suit his schedule, so he owed her for the business she was missing out on. Still, she battled with accepting that idea entirely. There was something inside him that expected to be used. She’d seen the bitterness in his eyes. No matter what, she didn’t want to be part of causing it.

  Now you’re trying to save him…

  Fine, maybe she was. At least it was a good intention. She got the impression too few people remembered there was a man inside the rock star.

  * * *

  Taz certainly did take sushi seriously.

  Ramsey drove to a huge restaurant in a Japanese-inspired building that had a red tile roof with the corners turned up. There were scores of people waiting outside for tables, a sure mark of how good the food was.

  “Taz will be upstairs in one of the private rooms.” Ramsey clasped her hand and pulled her through the door. He took a moment to bow at the threshold. The girls behind the counter all greeted him with warm smiles.

  Jewel had to tug back on her hand so she could bow as well. He grinned when he looked over his shoulder to investigate why she was resisting his pull.

  “Can’t go shaming my host,” she said. “He said I was alright. It sounded like a significant compliment.”

  “It was,” Ramsey confirmed. “You can bet Taz never invited Tia for sushi.”

  She was half-ready to take offense, but realized she was too busy enjoying the knowledge that Ramsey’s bandmates saw her as more than a hookup.

  Ramsey took her up a set of stairs to a second level. Below, it had been noisy from the congestion of people tightly packed around tables to get as many customers in as possible. Upstairs, there was the soft sound of flowing water from fountains set into the corners. Orchids decorated the fountains, and there was even one big enough to have koi swimming in a pool.

  The waitresses wore long, flowing gowns of Asian design. They had empire waistlines, and the girls had their feet slipped into shoes that they took off the moment they came to any of the closed entrances that led to private dining rooms.

  Those doors slid opened. Ramsey had his cell phone out and was following the route on the screen.

  “Are you tracking Taz?” She pushed forward to see the screen.

  “Yeah.” Ramsey pointed to a door at the far end of the restaurant.

  “And here I thought I was special.”

  He coughed at her as he dropped his phone into the inside pocket of his vest. He turned around, cupping her nape. She ran into him, because he did it so fast, ending up with her hands resting on his chest.

  “You are,” he said.

  In pure Ramsey style, he’d changed the tempo instantly. She quivered, her body heating as her insides churned.

  “Food is suddenly the last thing on my mind,” Ramsey muttered against her lips.

  “Ditto.” It was a confession, one she might actually have thought twice about if she could have thought at all. There was only the way he felt against her. His hard body, the way his skin smelled. It kicked off a pulse deep inside her that made her nipples pucker and her clit throb.

  The screen door slid open. A sweet-faced girl stood there, her eyes widening as she took them in. She started to smile but pressed her lips together to control her expression as she looked down for her shoes.

  “Get in here before the mama comes out of the kitchen and thwacks your ear for misbehaving,” Taz called out to them.

  “My ear, huh?” Jewel asked as she stopped to remove her shoes and cross into the room. Taz used a pair of chopsticks to push a piece of sushi into his mouth. He paused with it in front of his lips.

  “It will sting for an hour,” Taz confirmed. “My mother is a master of the art.”

  Jewel sat down on a large pillow. There was a place beneath the table for her feet. It was a clever design, making the table appear to be on the floor, but having the added space for those who weren’t comfortable kneeling through an entire meal.

  Ramsey settled in beside her, reaching beneath the table to squeeze her thigh.

  “Behave.” Taz looked like he was focused on the plate of sushi near his end of the table, but he shot Ramsey a look and pointed his chopsticks at his bandmate.

  “Jewel is my guest,” Taz said before the screen slid open and more food arrived. Taz ran the dinner, switching between Korean and English as the food kept coming. Jewel was grateful she’d worn leggings because her belly soon felt like it was distended. Taz kept pushing more food toward her. At last, she waved her napkin in the air.

  “Can I ask you something?” Taz had slowed down and was now contemplating her across the remains of the banquet.

  “Sure.”

  “What sort of setup is Morcant trying to sell you?” Taz’s eyes had hardened, his expression becoming pensive. “I mean, he’s a businessman. I wouldn’t think tattoos would bring in enough profit.”

  Her nape tingled, but she clamped down on her emotions when they tried to rise. It was a good question, and instead of getting huffy, she needed to recognize a valid attempt at understanding her motives.

  “He’s suggesting a line of art that would be sold in both graphic format and studios. My freedom to tattoo would actually be tightly limited to keep the price where he wants it.”

  As in a stranglehold. She’d reread the contract offer several times and still didn’t like how tight the language was, but it was still art, her dream field.

  “And you’re considering it?” R
amsey demanded beside her.

  Jewel turned to look at him. “So far as reading the offer. Are you actually suggesting I ignore it? Didn’t you guys talk to more than one producer when you were trying to sign with a big label?”

  For a moment, she thought he was going to say yes. He wanted to. She could see the need flickering in his eyes.

  But Ramsey shook his head. “We did. Morcant is good at what he does.”

  “Too good,” Taz said. “He draws blood in more than one market around the globe.”

  “Which makes it understandable that you’d consider his offer,” Ramsey said. He moved, pushing back from the table and standing. “I’ve got to walk off some of this.”

  “Restroom break,” Jewel agreed. Ramsey offered her a hand.

  She went into the ladies’ room to freshen up. Her emotions were still sort of stirred up. On one hand, Ramsey had voiced his understanding of her need to explore the offer with Morcant. On the other hand, she really wondered if she wasn’t just kidding herself. After all, Ramsey was a proven artist on a global scale; she’d just gotten lucky when he’d walked into Ted’s shop.

  Oh Lord, pull up your britches, girl!

  Jewel smiled at her own sarcasm. Okay, she really did need to work on her confidence. She took time to play with her hair and apply a fresh coat of lipstick, in an effort to bolster her self-esteem before emerging. The hallway was still full of soothing, low-volume music and the sound of the water flowing through the fountains.

  There was also a burst of giggles. Jewel tried to ignore it; after all, it was a fairly safe bet that the private rooms had seen more than their share of flesh eating that had nothing to do with fish.

  But she looked down the hall and ended up frozen. Ramsey was lying across the seat pillows of another room as the girl from Sammy’s party lay across the table and looked down on him with her cleavage in his face while he gave her a sexy little smile that Jewel recognized. She moved forward, pressing a kiss against his mouth while he reached up and clasped the back of her neck in a hold that Jewel knew as well.

  Her confidence fell to the floor like a dropped tray of fried rice, scattering into tiny little bits that were impossible to scoop up.

  Jewel was frozen in shock; icy pain went stabbing through her. She must have gasped, because the girl looked up, and so did Ramsey.

  Jewel felt her face catch fire. She jerked her gaze away but couldn’t seem to recall which screen hid the room she’d been in with Taz. She caught sight of the stairs and decided they would make an excellent escape route.

  “Jewel…” Ramsey called after her.

  She didn’t stop. She ended up at the ground level and kept going, because people looked up and stared at her.

  Of course they did. She must have looked like she was ready to burst into tears.

  She certainly felt like it. With so many people at the restaurant, there were a couple of taxis waiting. She pulled open the door of one and ducked inside.

  And started crying.

  * * *

  “Do I have to kick your ass?”

  Ramsey whirled around to face Taz.

  “Actually, I think that’s my line,” Vicky said. She was wearing a micromini with a plunging neckline to show off the fact that she wasn’t wearing anything under the dress. She preferred being naked, something Ramsey had once enjoyed…fully. She made a low sound under her breath and bent down to grab his boots. She straightened up and shoved them at his chest.

  “Get going.”

  “I’m a dumb ass,” he said.

  “You are,” Vicky said as Taz agreed. “But you need to go tell your girlfriend that.”

  “I do.”

  He turned and took the stairs two at a time. A quick scan of the curb area told him Jewel was gone. He dropped his boots and stepped into them before swinging his leg over his Harley.

  He would be telling her, and she would listen.

  Or he just might end up begging her to.

  * * *

  The taxi pulled up in front of the Marriott. Jewel slid her bank card through the slot and signed the screen before getting out. The driver tactfully ignored her red-rimmed eyes and the sniffling sounds she’d spent most of the ride trying to muffle behind a wad of tissue. She took a deep breath and dumped them in a trash can before walking toward the entry doors.

  “Jewel…Jewel…?”

  She blocked out the questions as one of the security men opened the door for her. The lobby was blissfully clear of the Toxsin crew and Brenton. It offered her the chance to make it to the elevators and up to her room.

  But the idea of getting into an elevator bothered her because at the moment, all she wanted to do was run. She looked over her shoulder, but still rebelled at the idea of going inside. She pushed open the door to the stairs and started climbing.

  Twenty floors later, she was pretty sure she’d made a mistake. Her thighs were on fire, and her butt felt like it had turned to stone. But there was a sense of satisfaction in making it under her own power. She had to slide her key card through a slot to gain access to the floor. The door chirped as she opened it, and she ended up facing Ramsey.

  “That damned phone,” she snarled.

  He was leaning against the wall, his arms folded over his chest while he waited for her. He dropped his phone into the inside pocket of his vest as he shot her a look that was full of hard promise.

  “We need to talk.” Each word was clipped as he straightened up and reached for her hand.

  “What do you want me to say?” She jerked on their joined hands.

  Ramsey released her and pushed his hands through his hair. “I don’t know, but damn it, I want you to demand something from me. Tell me what a dick I am for letting you find me like that. Tell me you’re jealous.”

  Her eyes widened with shock. “So you…can what, exactly? Feel justified? Know you were right all along, and I’m just another person trying to control you? Change you, use you to live out my idea of happiness? When it clearly isn’t what you want?”

  “Fuck no!” he growled.

  “What then?” she demanded, going on the offensive and moving toward him. Her composure was nothing but a taper of smoke. “You’re driving me crazy, do you know that? You want me to understand you aren’t the guy I see you as, but you’re following me when I walk away to deal with my emotions by myself. And now…you’re mad because I left you to your…fun! But then, you got ticked when I went to dinner with Rage.” Her eyes were full of tears again, infuriating her. “I’m so stupid for giving a shit!”

  “Yes, it pissed me off to see you with Rage. Tell me it makes you mad to see me kissing other girls.”

  She felt like she couldn’t form another word, because the circumstances of their lives were crushing her. “So you can…what? Feel victorious?”

  “So I can feel like you care enough to try and talk some sense into me when I fuck up, and that you won’t just give up on me.”

  His words seemed to surprise him just as much as they did her. For a long moment, they just stared at each other, breathing hard as they both tried to come to grips with how deeply they felt about each other. It scared her on a level she hadn’t realized she had, a place that felt like she was just going to shatter if he didn’t return her feelings.

  “You want to know my inner secrets?” He captured the hand she’d been poking him in the chest with. “Fine. I hate sushi.”

  She blinked, totally stunned.

  “And I eat it by the plateful because to Taz, going out for sushi is a deep bonding experience.” He clamped her against his body, bring her flush with him, allowing her to feel his erection. He had his other hand fisted in her hair as he buried his face against her and drew in a deep breath. “The only raw meat I want against my tongue is your pussy. But I will do anything for the people I care about.”

  He was shaking. His words sent a jolt of arousal through her, but it was the tremor raking him that tore her nearly in half. The elevator arrived, the soft ding making her
jerk. It felt like any company would be the same as a crowd pushing against them.

  “Take me…somewhere…dark,” she said.

  He made a low sound of agreement against her hair before he pulled her down the hallway. There was a chirp as he opened the door of his suite, and a click when it closed behind them. She walked past him, into the center of the dark suite. Ramsey reached behind him and locked the door.

  The sound made her smile with relief. She wanted him to be hers, all hers until the sun came up and they had to deal with reality.

  “Yeah.” He shrugged out of his vest and tossed it onto the kitchen table. “No more interference.” He unbuttoned his leather pants and stopped to get out of his boots before he was able to shuck the pants. “You…and…me…”

  “Sure you don’t want to join Vicky’s party?” Maybe it might be a cheap shot. Honestly, she knew it made it clear her heart was on her sleeve, but she just had to know for sure.

  He moved closer, until he was a dark shadow looming over her. He captured her hand and pressed it against his heart.

  “So sure, it scares me,” he rasped.

  Uncertainty surrounded her like a cloud of smoke, but she didn’t miss the tremor running through his hand. She rolled her lips in because she was nervous, not wanting to mess up something important. She squeezed his hand before stepping away from him. He watched her, his gaze making her feel more attractive than any declaration of flowing prose. He was riveted in place, his focus aimed at her as she pulled her bag free and let it slip to the floor. His features tightened as she tugged her dress up and over her head. The drapes were open, allowing the city lights to bathe her bare skin.

  “I don’t deserve you,” he whispered, his tone harsh with self-loathing.

  “I want to be here.”

  He sucked in a breath through his teeth as she spoke, his eyes closing for a moment as he appeared to be savoring her words. His eyes glittered when he opened them. Unshed tears? She was stuck contemplating the inconceivable idea when he moved forward and grasped the waistband of her leggings, drawing them down her body. She stepped out of them, a little sound of relief escaping her lips.