The Secret That Changed Everything

by Lucy Gordon

  ‘They’re not my friends. I only know them casually, and two I never met before today.’

  ‘But you were dousing them with charm.’

  ‘Of course. I’m planning to make money out of them.’

  ‘Ah! Hence the charm!’

  ‘What else is charm for?’

  ‘So now you’re girding up for your next “victim” in half an hour.’

  He gave a slow smile. ‘There’s no one coming. That was just to get rid of them.’

  She looked down into her glass, lest her face reveal how much this pleased her. He would be a welcome companion for a little while.

  He read her exactly, offering his hand and saying, ‘Lucio—’

  His last name was drowned by a merry shout from further along the bar. She raised her voice to say, ‘Charlotte.’

  ‘Buona sera, Charlotte.’

  ‘Buona sera, Lucio.’

  ‘Are you really Italian?’ he asked, his head slightly to one side.

  ‘Why do you ask?’

  ‘Because I can’t quite pinpoint your accent. Venice? No, I don’t think so. Milan? Hmm. Rome—Naples?’

  ‘Sicily?’ Charlotte teased.

  ‘No, not Sicily. You sound nothing like.’

  ‘You said that very quickly. You must know Sicily well.’

  ‘Fairly well. But we were talking about you. Where do you come from?’

  His bright smile was like a visor behind which he’d retreated at the mention of Sicily. Though intrigued, she was too wise to pursue the matter just yet. Later would be more interesting.

  ‘I’m not Italian at all,’ she said. ‘I’m American.’

  ‘You’re kidding me!’

  ‘No, I’m not. I come from New York.’

  ‘And you speak my language like a native. I’m impressed.’ Someone squeezed by them, forcing them to draw back uncomfortably. ‘There’s no room for us here,’ he said, taking her arm and drawing her towards the door.

  Several pairs of female eyes regarded her with frank envy. It was clear that the watching women had their own ideas about how the evening would end.

  Well, you’re wrong, Charlotte thought, slightly irritated. He’s a nice guy and I’ll enjoy talking to him, but that’s all. Not everything has to end in amore, even in Italy. OK, so he’s suave, sophisticated, expensively dressed and fantastically good-looking, but I won’t hold that against him.

  ‘So why Italian?’ he asked as they began to stroll along the Via Vittorio Veneto.

  ‘I was always fascinated by foreign languages. I studied several at school, but somehow it was always Italian that stood out and attracted me more than the others. So I learned it through and through. It’s such a lovely language.’

  ‘And in the end you got a job here, probably working at the U.S. Embassy, just up the street.’

  ‘No, I don’t work here. I’m a translator in New York. I do Italian editions of books, sometimes universities hire me to look over old manuscripts. And I suddenly thought, it’s about time I actually saw the country and drank in what it’s really like. So I caught the next plane out.’

  ‘Literally?’

  ‘Well, it took a couple of days to make arrangements, but that’s all. Then I was free to go.’

  ‘No ties? Family?’

  ‘I’ve got parents, siblings, but nobody who can constrain my freedom.’

  ‘Freedom,’ he mused. ‘That’s what it’s really about, huh?’

  ‘One of the things. I’ve done some mad, stupid things in my life, and most of them have been about staying free.’ She gave a wry laugh. ‘It’s practically my family nickname. Ellie’s the beautiful one, Alex is the lovable one and I’m the crazy one.’

  ‘That sounds fascinating. I’d really like to hear about your craziness.’

  ‘Well, there’s the time I set my heart on marrying this guy and my parents said no. We were only seventeen, which they thought was too young.’

  He considered this with an air of seriousness that had a touch of humour. ‘They could have had a point.’

  ‘The way I saw it they were denying me my own way. Hell would freeze over before I admitted they could be right. So we eloped.’

  ‘You married at seventeen?’

  ‘No way. By the time we’d covered a few miles I could see what a juvenile twerp he was. To be fair I think he’d spotted the same about me. Anyway, I got all set to make a run for it, and bumped into him because he was making a run for it, too.’

  Lucio roared with laughter. ‘What happened when you got home?’

  ‘My mother’s a very clever woman. She knew better than to make a fuss. When she caught me sidling in she glanced up and said, “Oh, there you are. Don’t make a noise, your father’s asleep.” We had a talk later but there were no hysterics. By then she was used to me doing stupid things.’

  ‘But would getting married be the path to freedom? Husbands can be very restrictive.’

  She chuckled. ‘I didn’t think of that at the time. I just pictured him doing things my way. Luckily I saw the truth before too late.’

  ‘Yes, husbands have this maddening habit of wanting their own way.’

  ‘Oh, I learnt the lesson.’

  ‘So you still don’t have a husband?’

  ‘No husband, no nothing.’ She added casually, ‘These days it’s the way to be.’

  ‘You’re a true woman of your age. At one time an unmarried girl would wonder why no man wanted her. Now she wonders what’s the best way to keep them off.’

  ‘Right,’ she responded in the same teasing voice. ‘Sometimes you have to be really ingenious. And sometimes just ruthless.’

  ‘You talk like an expert. Or like a woman who’s been kicked in the teeth and is going to do some kicking back.’ He saw her wry face and said quickly, ‘I’m sorry, I had no right to say that. None of my business.’

  ‘It’s all right. If we all minded our own business there’d be precious little of interest to talk about.’

  ‘I’ve got a feeling I should be nervous about what you’re going to say next.’

  ‘I could ask about Sicily, couldn’t I? Is that where you keep a secret wife, or perhaps two secret wives? Now that would really be interesting.’

  ‘Sorry to disappoint you but there’s no wife, secret or otherwise. I was born in Sicily, but I left it years ago, and I’ve never been back. The life just didn’t suit me. Like you, I went exploring the world, and I ended up with a family who owned vineyards. Vines, wine-making, I loved it from the start. They were wonderful to me, practically adopted me, and finally left the vineyards to me.’

  And he’d turned them into a top money-making business, she thought. That was clear from the way he dressed and the way others reacted to him.

  They were reaching the end of the street. As they turned the corner Charlotte stopped, astonished and thrilled by the sight that met her eyes.

  ‘The Trevi Fountain,’ she breathed. ‘I’ve always wanted to see it. It’s so huge, so magnificent....’

  This was no mere fountain. A highly decorated palace wall rose behind it, at the centre of which was a triumphal arch, framing the magnificent, half-naked figure of Oceanus, mythical god of water, ruling over the showers that cascaded into the pool below. Everywhere was flooded with light, giving the water a dazzling glitter against the night.

  ‘I’ve read about it,’ she murmured, ‘and seen pictures, but—’

  ‘But nothing prepares you,’ he agreed. ‘Some things have to be experienced before they become real.’

  Nearby was a café with tables out on the street. Here they could sit and watch the humming life about them.

  ‘Nice to see people having a good time,’ she murmured.

  ‘Does that mean your life is unhappy now?’

  ‘Oh, no,’ she said quickly. ‘But it does tend to be a bit too serious. Legal documents, history books. Not exactly filled with fun. And sometimes you need to remind yourself about fun.’

  He regarded her curiously, thi
nking that a woman with her looks could have all the fun she wanted with all the men she wanted. So there was a mystery here. But he was too astute to voice the thought.

  ‘But Italy should remind you of fun,’ he said. ‘It’s not all cathedrals and sober history.’

  ‘I know. You’ve only got to stroll the streets of Rome in the twilight, and see—well, lots of things.’

  His grin and the way he nodded spoke volumes about his own life. Doubtless it was full of ‘twilight activities’, she thought. And they would be fun. She didn’t doubt that either.

  ‘Anyway,’ she went on, ‘my favourite Italian was—’

  She named a historical character with a legendary reputation for wickedness.

  ‘He wasn’t as bad as people think,’ Lucio observed. ‘He was actually quite a serious man who—’

  ‘Don’t say that,’ she interrupted him quickly. ‘You’ll spoil him for me. If he’s not wicked he’s not interesting.’

  He regarded her curiously. ‘There aren’t many people who’d see it that way.’

  ‘But it’s true.’

  ‘Certainly it’s true, but we’re not supposed to say so.’

  ‘Well, I’m always doing things I’m not supposed to. That’s why I’m the black sheep of the family.’

  ‘Because you eloped at seventeen?’

  She chuckled. ‘There were a few more things than that. There was the politician who came to hold a meeting in New York, all virtue and pomposity, except that he’d spent the previous night in a place where he shouldn’t have been. I’d seen him leaving and I couldn’t resist getting up at the meeting and asking him about it.’

  ‘Shame on you!’ he said theatrically.

  ‘Yes, I have no sense of propriety, so I’m told.’

  ‘So you’re wicked and interesting, eh?’

  ‘Certainly wicked. You know, everyone has their own talents. My sister Ellie is a talented dancer, my sister Alex is a talented vet—’

  ‘And you’re a talented linguist.’

  ‘Oh, that! That’s just earning a living. No, my real talent, the thing at which I’m practically a genius, is getting my own way.’

  ‘Now you really interest me.’

  ‘It can always be done, if you know how to go about it.’

  ‘Cunning?’

  ‘Certainly. Cunning, devious, manipulative, wicked—whatever it takes.’

  ‘Is that the real reason you broke off your career to go travelling?’

  ‘In one sense. I wanted to find another world, and I’m finding it. That’s the way to live. Know what you want, and don’t stop until you get it.’ She raised her glass to him. ‘I guess there’s probably a lot of interesting wickedness in your own life.’

  He assumed a shocked air.

  ‘Me? No time for it. I’m far too busy earning a respectable living, I assure you.’

  ‘Right. I’ll believe you. Thousands wouldn’t.’

  He grinned. ‘You do me an injustice.’

  ‘No, I don’t. Any man who proclaims himself respectable needs to be treated with suspicion.’

  ‘I protest—’

  ‘Don’t bother because I won’t believe a word you say.’

  They plunged into a light-hearted argument with much vigour on both sides, but also much laughter. When she looked at her watch she was amazed to see how much time had passed. She had a strange sense of being mentally at one with him. Almost like a brother.

  But the next moment he turned his head so that she saw his profile against the glittering light from the fountain. Not brotherly, she thought. Disconcertingly attractive in a way that eclipsed other men, even Don. Or perhaps especially Don. But definitely not brotherly.

  She remembered the first time she and Don had ventured beyond kisses, both eager to explore. But something had been missing, she knew that now.

  ‘Are you all right?’ Lucio asked.

  ‘Yes, fine.’

  ‘Sure? You seemed as if something had disturbed you.’

  ‘No, I guess I’m just a bit hungry.’

  ‘They do great snacks here. I’ll get the menu.’

  ‘I’ll just have whatever you’re having.’

  He ordered spicy rolls and they sat eating contentedly.

  ‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ she asked.

  ‘Just trying to solve the mystery. You don’t strike me as the kind of woman who goes along with whatever the man orders.’

  ‘Dead right, I’m not. But this is new territory for me, and I’m learning something fresh all the time.’

  ‘So I’m part of the exploration?’

  ‘Definitely. I like to find something unexpected. Don’t you?’

  ‘I sometimes think my life has had too much that’s unexpected. You need time to get used to things.’

  She hoped he would expand on that. She was beginning to be intrigued by everything he said. But before she could speak there was an excited cry as more crowds surged into the piazza, eager to toss coins into the water. For a while they both sat watching them.

  ‘It’s the age of science,’ she reflected. ‘We’re all supposed to be so reasonable. Yet people still come here to toss coins and make wishes.’

  ‘Perhaps they’re right,’ he said. ‘Being too reasonable can be dangerous. Making a wish might free you from that danger.’

  ‘But there are always other dangers lurking,’ she mused. ‘What to do about them?’

  ‘Then you have to decide which ones to confront and which to flee,’ he said.

  She nodded. ‘That way lies wisdom. And freedom.’

  ‘And freedom matters to you more than anything, doesn’t it?’ he asked.

  ‘Yes, but you must know what it really means. You think you’re free, but then something happens, and suddenly it looks more like isolation.’

  A sudden bleakness in her voice on the last word caught his attention.

  ‘Tell me,’ he said gently.

  ‘I thought I knew my family. An older brother and sister who were twins, a younger sister, but then it turns out that there’s been a big family secret all along. It began to come out and—’ she gave a sigh ‘—I was the last one to know. I’ve always been closest to Matt, even though he can be so distant sometimes, but now it’s like I’m not really part of the family. Just an outsider, in nobody’s confidence.’

  ‘You spoke of nobody caring. Nobody at all? What about outside the family?’

  She grimaced. ‘Yes, there was someone. We were moving slowly but I thought we’d get there in time. Well, I’m an outsider there, too. It feels like wandering in a desert.’

  She checked herself there. She hadn’t meant to confide her desert fantasy, for fear of sounding paranoid, but he seemed to understand so much that it had come out naturally.

  ‘I know the feeling,’ he said, ‘but a desert can be a friendly place. There’s no one there to hurt you.’

  ‘It’s true there are no enemies there,’ she said. ‘But no friends either, nobody who cares about you.’

  ‘You wouldn’t want to be there for ever,’ he agreed. ‘But for a while it can be a place to rest and recruit your strength. Then one day you can come back and sock ’em on the jaw.’

  She longed to ask him what events and instincts lay behind that thought. All around her doors and windows seemed to be flying open, revealing mysterious roads leading to mists and beyond, to more mysteries, tempting her forward.

  But could it be right to indulge her confusions with a stranger?

  Then she saw him looking at her, and something in his eyes was like a hand held out in understanding.

  Why not?

  What harm could come of it?

  ‘I guess my real problem is that I’m no longer quite sure who I am,’ she said.

  He nodded. ‘That can happen easily, and it’s scary.’

  ‘Yes, it is. With Don I always felt that I was the one in charge of our relationship, but then I found I wasn’t. Oh, dear, I suppose that makes me sound like a managin
g female.’

  ‘Sometimes that’s what a man needs to bring out the best of him,’ he said.

  ‘Did that happen to you?’

  ‘No, she wasn’t “managing” enough. If she had been, she might have bound me to her in time to save us both.’ He added quickly, ‘Go on telling me about you.’

  Now a connection had been established it was easy to talk. Neither of them went into much detail, but the sense of being two souls adrift was a bond. It was a good feeling and she was happy to yield to it.

  ‘What happened to your gift for getting your own way?’ he asked at last.

  ‘I guess it failed me. I didn’t say it worked all the time. You have to seize the chance, but sometimes the chance can’t be seized.’

  A cheer that went up from the fountain made them both look there.

  ‘More coins, more wishes,’ he said.

  ‘Aren’t they supposed to wish for a return to Rome?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes, but they always add another one, usually about a lover.’

  ‘I’d like to go closer.’

  As they neared the water they could see a man tossing in coins by the dozen, then closing his eyes and muttering fiercely.

  ‘What’s he wishing for?’ Charlotte asked.

  ‘My guess is he wants his lady-love to appear out of the blue, and tell him he’s forgiven. When a guy’s as desperate as that it’s pretty bad.’

  Then the incredible happened. A female hand tapped the young man on the shoulder, he turned, gave a shout of joy and embraced her.

  ‘You came,’ he bellowed. ‘She came, everyone. She’s here.’

  ‘You see, it works,’ someone shouted. ‘Everyone toss a coin and make a wish.’

  Laughing, Charlotte took two coins from her bag and threw one in, crying, ‘Bring me back to Rome.’

  ‘That’s not enough,’ Lucio said. ‘Now you must wish that Don will come back.’

  ‘Too late for that. We’re not right for each other. I know that now. But what about you? Your lady might arrive and decide to “manage” you, after all, since it’s so obviously what you want.’

  But he shook his head. ‘She’s gone to a place from which she’ll never return.’

  ‘Oh, I’m so sorry. Did it happen very recently?’

  ‘No,’ he said softly. ‘It was a hundred thousand years ago.’