The Secret That Changed Everything

by Lucy Gordon

  Downstairs they told Fiorella, who went into ecstasies.

  ‘We must arrange everything as soon as possible,’ she said. ‘Charlotte, my dear, have you told your family that you’re getting married?’

  ‘No, we wanted to tell you first. I’ll email them, and later we’ll go online and talk.’

  ‘And then you can introduce us. We will all meet as one big happy family.’

  ‘We can’t do it all at once. My family live a long way apart, Ellie in Texas and my parents in New York, Matt in Boston and Alex in Australia. I could tell Matt and Ellie now. We’re only five hours ahead of them.’

  She fetched her laptop, set it up and connected to the program that provided the video link. A glance at her list of contacts showed that neither Matt nor Ellie was online.

  ‘No problem,’ she said. ‘I’ll email them, tell them the news and say let’s talk face to face.’

  ‘But if they live miles apart how can you get them together?’ Fiorella asked.

  ‘They won’t really be together but I can put them on the screen at the same time,’ Charlotte said. ‘There, the emails are on their way. If they receive them soon they’ll come online without delay.’

  After a few moments an email arrived announcing that Alex was away today but would be back by evening.

  ‘Her evening,’ Charlotte said. ‘We’ll all be asleep by then. But I’ll find a way to contact her soon. Ah, I think that’s Matt.’

  Sure enough a flashing light was announcing Matt’s arrival on screen.

  ‘Did you really write what I thought you wrote?’ he demanded. ‘You’re getting married?’

  ‘Yes, and this is Lucio, my fiancé,’ Charlotte said, speaking quickly in case Matt should say something that would reveal his earlier advice.

  But he was tact itself, congratulating them both. Everything went well. Courtesies were exchanged. Lucio introduced his mother. Then a bleep announced that Ellie had made contact and she, too, arrived on screen, smiling and pleasant.

  When all the introductions had been made again Ellie said, ‘So now you’ve got to come to Larkville, Charlotte, and of course Lucio will come with you.’

  ‘They’re celebrating Clay Calhoun’s life in October,’ Charlotte explained to Lucio.

  ‘Matt and I are invited because he was our father,’ Ellie said, ‘but they want you and Alex there so we can all be together.’

  ‘But I told you, I’ll be giving birth about then,’ Charlotte said. ‘I’d love to come, but it won’t be possible. Such a shame.’

  ‘You might give birth early,’ Ellie protested. ‘Promise you’ll come if you can.’

  ‘If I can,’ Charlotte agreed. She could sense that this conversation troubled Lucio and was eager to bring it to a close.

  More smiles, congratulations, good wishes, and the links were closed down.

  ‘It’s nice that they want us to go over there,’ Charlotte said. ‘But I don’t think it will be very practical.’ She looked down at the bulge.

  ‘It’s not just that,’ Lucio said. ‘If you do go, it’ll have to be without me. October is when we harvest the grapes. I couldn’t possibly leave here.’

  ‘Of course not,’ she said. ‘And I couldn’t leave either, even if I’d already given birth. It would be too soon. Don’t worry, it’s not going to arise.’

  His brow cleared. ‘I hope not. I’d hate to refuse you the first thing you’ve asked me.’

  ‘So now we have a lot of talking to do,’ Fiorella declared. ‘You must set the date, send out the invitations. How soon can we make it happen? How about the week after next.’

  ‘I’m afraid not,’ Lucio said. ‘Because Charlotte wasn’t born here we have to get a lot of paperwork—her birth certificate, a sworn declaration that she’s free to marry which must be translated, annotated and taken round a load of offices. It can take a few weeks.’

  Charlotte stared. This was what she’d been preparing to tell him, but he already knew.

  ‘Oh, what a pity,’ Fiorella mourned. ‘Well, you’d better get to work on all those papers, and we’ll have the wedding as soon as possible.’

  She bustled away, full of plans.

  ‘I know what you’re thinking.’ Lucio sighed. ‘How do I know all this? I must have been checking up, which means I took it for granted that you’d say yes. Or I was planning to pressure you, which makes me all sorts of an undesirable character. It’s not like that, Charlotte, truly. I just wanted to be ready for anything. Don’t be angry with me.’

  ‘Have you finished? Then listen to what I have to say. I know about all these formalities and how long they can take, and I’ve been doing something about it. Matt’s already sent me the birth certificate and a sworn statement that I’d never been married.’

  ‘You’ve been doing all that?’ Lucio breathed.

  ‘Yes. There’s still some work left to do....’

  ‘But you did this? So you meant to marry me?’

  ‘I suppose I did. I’ve got as much ready as I can, but there’s still some—’

  She broke off as he seized her in his arms, and after that there were no more words.

  Two days later he drove her into Florence.

  ‘There’s something I want to show you,’ he said, leading her along the street until they reached a jewellery shop and pointing to a double-stranded pearl necklace in the window. ‘What do you think of that?’

  ‘It’s really beautiful.’

  ‘Would it make a beautiful wedding present?’

  ‘Oh, yes.’

  ‘Let’s go in.’

  In the shop she tried on the necklace and loved the way it looked on her. It was a wedding gift to make any bride happy.

  ‘But what am I going to give you?’ she asked as they left the shop.

  He glanced down at her waist.

  ‘You’re already giving me the best gift in the world,’ he said. ‘I don’t need anything else.’

  She knew a burst of happiness. Everything was going to be all right, after all.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  FOR the next two weeks they were seldom out of each other’s company, travelling from office to office, presenting documents, signing paperwork.

  ‘So now everything’s in order,’ she said as they sat in a café, having just left the American consulate in Florence. ‘Everything signed, every permission granted. The perfect business deal.’

  ‘I wish I could say you were wrong—’ he grinned ‘—but I’ve had commercial ventures that were less complex than this.’

  ‘You can’t blame them for being careful about foreigners,’ she pointed out. ‘I might have a dozen ex-husbands back in the States.’

  ‘I’m not even going to ask you about that. I recognise one of your wicked moods. You’d enjoy freezing me with terror.’

  ‘Well, anyway, we made it to the end, and we’re all set for the business deal of the century. Shake?’

  ‘Shake.’ He took her extended hand.

  She often teased him like this these days. It saved her from the embarrassment of making it obvious that her feelings were stronger and deeper than his.

  It wasn’t the kind of wedding a woman would dream of, especially with a man she loved. But it was better than parting from him. Inwardly she sent a silent message of gratitude to Matt, who had alerted her to danger in good time.

  When everything was sorted they opted for a speedy marriage on the first available date. Instead of the huge array of business contacts that would normally have revelled in the public relations, only the very closest friends were invited.

  Fiorella helped her choose a wedding gift for Lucio, using her knowledge of him to direct Charlotte to a valuable collection of books about the history of the wine industry. To add a more personal touch she bought a vest with the logo of the local soccer team, and wrote a note saying, ‘You can give him this when he’s ready.’

  It was settled between them now that she was to bear a son who would make his name in some profession where his migh
ty kick would give him an advantage. When Lucio opened the parcel his delighted grin told her that he understood the joke. His hug was fierce and appreciative.

  ‘We haven’t discussed a honeymoon yet,’ he reminded her.

  ‘It’s not really the right time, is it? Let’s wait until after October when the harvest is in.’

  He kissed her. ‘You’re going to be a great vintner’s wife. But have a think about the honeymoon, too.’

  In fact, she already knew where she wanted to go for their honeymoon, but she would wait for the right time to tell him.

  The big disappointment was that none of her family could come to Tuscany for the wedding.

  ‘Your father isn’t well enough to make the journey,’ her mother said. ‘And I can’t leave him alone.’

  ‘Oh, I wish I could come,’ Alex said.

  ‘But Australia’s so far away.’ Charlotte sighed.

  Ellie and Matt were also too tied up with events in their own lives. There was a triumphant video link during which they toasted Lucio and Charlotte, who raised their glasses in return.

  ‘But it’s not the same as seeing them,’ Charlotte sighed to Lucio afterwards.

  ‘No, it would have given you the chance to feel part of the family again,’ he said. ‘But there’ll be another chance. There has to be.’

  ‘I don’t see how. Going to Larkville in October would have been a good chance because everyone will be there together, but that’s out of the question. I’ll be giving birth, and even if I’m not, you’ll be giving birth.’

  ‘Eh?’

  ‘To a grape harvest.’

  ‘Oh, I see. Yes, I suppose it is a bit like producing an offspring, being a proud father—’

  ‘Telling the world that your creation is better than the next father’s?’ she suggested.

  ‘Right. Or letting the world find out for itself.’

  ‘Which it’ll do at our wedding reception,’ she said lightly.

  But he wasn’t fooled by her attempt to put a brave face on things.

  ‘I’m really sorry your family can’t be there. I wish there was something I could do.’

  ‘But even you can’t tell the grapes to wait another couple of weeks,’ she said lightly. ‘I’ll get over it. Thanks anyway. Now get outta here. I’m going to put on my party dress and I don’t want you to see it first.’

  Although there would be no lavish reception there was a small party three nights before the wedding. Chief among the guests was Franco, who clearly felt he could take some credit for bringing the wedding about, and made a theatrical speech.

  ‘What is life without love?’ he demanded. ‘There is no more beautiful sight in the world than two people deeply in love, vowing fidelity to each other. Together they will face the challenges that the world will throw at them, and because they are united they will be strong. Because they are one in heart they will achieve victory.

  ‘My friends, a couple in love is an inspiration to us all.’ He raised his glass. ‘Let us toast them.’

  Everybody rose, lifting their glasses and uttering congratulations. Lucio rose also, raising his glass to her. She responded in the same way, managing to look blissfully happy, and refusing to heed the irony in the speech. Lucio was her promised husband, as she was his promised wife. Together they would play the role of devoted lovers.

  Somebody struck up on the piano, and there was dancing. The guests roared their appreciation as Lucio led her onto the floor and took her into his arms for a slow, dreamy waltz.

  ‘You look beautiful,’ he said. ‘That’s a lovely dress.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘I’m wearing something special, too.’

  ‘Yes, you look very handsome in that dinner jacket.’

  ‘I don’t mean that. I mean underneath. Look.’

  He released her hand and slipped his fingers into the front of his shirt, pulling the edges apart just far enough for her to see—

  ‘The soccer vest!’ she exclaimed. ‘You’re wearing it.’

  ‘It’s the cleverest gift you could have bought me. I wear it in honour of you, and of him.’

  ‘Oh, you—’ She began to laugh. ‘Of all the things to—honestly!’

  Now he, too, was laughing, drawing her closer so that she laid her head against him and together they shook with amusement. All around them their guests sighed with pleasure, for surely nobody had ever seen a couple so deeply in love.

  * * *

  ‘You don’t mind if I vanish for a stag night?’ Lucio had asked her.

  Since he was already attired for an evening out the question was purely rhetorical.

  ‘I’m tempted to say yes I mind a lot, just to see what you’d do,’ she teased. ‘Don’t be silly, of course you must have a stag night. You don’t want people to think you’re henpecked, do you? Not yet anyway.’

  ‘Yes, we’ll wait a decent interval before you crack the whip,’ he said, grinning.

  ‘Oh, you think that’s a joke, do you?’ She pointed to the door and said theatrically, ‘Get out of here at once!’

  ‘Yes, ma’am, no, ma’am.’ He saluted and hurried out to the car where his friends were waiting. She waved him off, thinking that these were the best moments between them, for now they were most completely in tune.

  She was awoken in the early hours by the sound of the car arriving outside, and went hurriedly down to open the door. Having delivered him safely his friends said farewell and drove off.

  For a man returning from a stag night he seemed relatively sober, although sleepy, and he regarded the stairs with dismay.

  ‘I’ll help you up them,’ she said.

  Together they managed to reach the top, but there he clutched the railing and murmured, ‘I don’t think I can go any farther.’

  ‘Never mind. You can sleep in my room. It’s just here. Come on.’

  She got him as far as the bed where he dropped down with relief.

  ‘Did you enjoy yourself?’ she asked.

  ‘Mmm!’

  ‘Good. That’s all that matters.’

  He turned his head on the pillow. ‘You’re a very understanding woman.’

  ‘If I’m going to marry you I’ll need to be.’

  ‘Mmm!’

  ‘Go to sleep.’ She chuckled.

  His eyes were already closed, and he was breathing deeply. She watched him tenderly for a moment, then leaned down and kissed him on the mouth.

  ‘Sleep well, and don’t worry about anything,’ she said.

  Still without opening his eyes he moved his arms so that they enfolded her, drawing her close. Happily she snuggled up, her head on his shoulder.

  ‘Mmm!’ he said again.

  ‘Mmm!’ she agreed.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he murmured.

  ‘No need.’

  ‘The baby.’ He sighed. ‘I feel guilty.’

  ‘There’s nothing to feel guilty about,’ she assured him.

  His next words came in such a soft whisper that she had to lean closer to hear it. What she heard made her tense, wondering if she’d misheard, for surely it wasn’t possible—surely...?

  ‘I wasn’t fair,’ he murmured. ‘You wanted to wait until we were married...I wouldn’t listen...forgive me—’

  ‘But back then we weren’t—’

  ‘I begged and begged until you gave in...not fair...but when we’re married, nobody will know that we...our secret...our secret. Say you forgive me.’

  She took a deep breath, summoning her resolve. She didn’t want to do what she was about to, but there was no choice if he was to have peace.

  ‘There’s nothing to forgive, my darling,’ she assured him. ‘I want you as much as you want me. We love each other, and we’ll be married soon.’

  She had known about the burden he carried, blaming himself for Maria’s death. Now she knew there had been another burden all along, one which haunted him, sleeping and waking.

  They had been lovers, and Maria had conceived his child. Doubtless her pr
egnancy had been in the very early days, so nobody else suspected, and the truth could be hidden until after the wedding. But she had died, and the child had died with her. There had been nobody he could tell, and even now he staggered under a terrifying sense of guilt.

  ‘Dead,’ he was murmuring, ‘my fault.’

  ‘No!’ she said fiercely. ‘None of it is your fault.’

  But she despaired of convincing him. She’d known that he was haunted by the fear that he had inadvertently killed Maria. Now she saw that his feeling of guilt and self-blame extended to the death of his first unborn child. It was wildly unlikely and illogical, but it shed a new light over his protectiveness towards her, his fear of making love.

  The thought of his suffering made her weep, and she held him tenderly against her.

  He stirred, clasping her more tightly. ‘Are you there?’

  ‘Yes, I’m here. Hold on to me, and go to sleep, my darling.’

  He sighed and she felt the tension drain out of him. Now he was at peace, and all was well as long as she was there for him. She held him gently until they both fell asleep.

  She awoke first, to find that neither of them had moved in two hours. His eyes were still closed, but as she watched they opened slowly. For a moment his expression was vague, but then he smiled as though something had eased his mind.

  ‘So much for a macho stag night,’ he said.

  ‘As long as you enjoyed yourself, what else matters?’

  He eased himself up, moving carefully.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I had no right to bother you while I was in that state.’

  ‘What state? You didn’t do anything objectionable. You just couldn’t stay awake.’

  ‘I probably talked a lot of nonsense.’

  ‘Not a thing. Stop worrying.’

  He made his way to the door, but looked back, seeming troubled.

  ‘I didn’t...say anything, did I?’

  ‘Not that I remember. Bye.’

  He hesitated a moment. ‘Bye.’

  He gave her a final look, and quietly departed.

  The words were there in his mind, she thought, but he wasn’t sure if it was a memory or a dream. Let him think of it as a dream. That would be easier for him.

  In the beginning loving him had seemed simple. Now she knew it wasn’t going to be simple at all.