The Brother

by K Larsen

  I laugh and usher them through the house, and into the kitchen. I load us all up with a stack of plates to put on the tables out back.

  “Is Liam coming tonight?” Lotte asks, rounding a table and placing plates.

  “He is.”

  “If I don’t like him, I’m going to tell you,” Eve says.

  “I wouldn’t expect anything less. But you know, give him a chance, you’re typically kind of hard on men.”

  “I am not.” She plants her hands on her hips.

  “Are, too,” Lotte says. “Remember that guy who hit on you in the grocery store. If words or dirty looks could kill, that guy would have been decapitated. Oh! And remember that waiter from the Clam Shack?”

  “Oh, that was hilarious,” I giggle. “Poor guy.”

  Eve sighs and rolls her eyes at us. “I’m not hard on them, I’m just not interested.”

  “Oh, good, so you should be a joy with Liam, since you know, he’s not interested in you.”

  “Charlotte, sometimes you make me crazy,” Eve grits out. Lotte and I dissolve into a fit of laughter.

  “What’s so funny?” Aubry asks from the patio doors.

  “Happy Birthday!” Rings out in unison from me, Lotte and Eve. Aubry grins and heads our way, arms outstretched for hugs. She looks dazzling in the evening light. Dewy and youthful.

  Liam arrives with his friend Mike at his side forty minutes after the time I told him to arrive. Fashionably on time, he says, as he hands me a wine shaped gift bag. Mike leans in and kisses my cheek in greeting. An odd thing. I am surprised that Liam brought Mike.

  “I hope it’s okay that Mike came with,” he says, as I set the gift on the table with the others.

  “I am sure it’s fine. Aubry has so many people here, she won’t even notice.”

  Lotte appears at my side just as Liam leans in to properly say hello with a kiss. She clears her throat before Liam’s lips can connect with mine. Crestfallen. I give him a pleading look but he only grins at me.

  “Hello, you must be Charlotte,” he says and reaches for Lotte’s hand. She takes him in from toe to crown before taking his hand and shaking it.

  “I am. It’s nice to meet you.”

  “Likewise.”

  “What are your intentions with Nora?”

  Mike makes a choking sound that mimics my own but Liam remains cool and unfazed.

  “I intend to attempt to make her happy.” Lotte’s eyes narrow a bit as she considers his response. She tilts her head left and swallows hard as they relentlessly hold each other’s gaze. I sense that something is bothering her. Her breathing has changed and I can see a pink tinge crawling up her neck. Liam looks to me as I wrap an arm around her. He steps backward instinctually, giving us room. I turn Lotte and me slightly for more privacy. She turns into my chest and wraps gangly teen arms around me.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask.

  “I don't know. Those eyes. They’re so ...”

  “Like his. I know,” I say.

  “It just ... it made me ... how do you stand it?” she asks.

  “It was never Holden’s eyes that hurt me, Lotte.” I squeeze her to me. She pulls back after a moment.

  “Well, this is really embarrassing,” she says loudly enough for Mike and Liam to hear. She faces Liam, “Nora deserves happiness. So you’d better make those intentions a reality.”

  “I will do my best,” Liam says. Lotte bites her bottom lip, shoots me a quick glance and heads back out toward the crowd of party goers.

  “She is really something.” Liam grins at me, while I sidle back up to him.

  “She is. I owe her my sanity.”

  Liam cranes his neck and kisses me until I feel dizzy and breathless. He pulls away just before I can lose myself in the moment. “Then I suppose that means I owe her, too,” he says.

  “So, where’s the bar?” Mike asks. “Not to interrupt, but watching you two is making me gag. Just a little.” He holds up his thumb and forefinger to accentuate his point. I laugh when Liam jabs him in the arm.

  “Let me introduce you to the birthday girl, Aubry, and to Eve. Then you can get your drink on,” I say.

  Liam

  Aubry’s party is in full swing. Lights twinkle, food is everywhere and there are drinks aplenty. The music has started and people are beginning to dance their inhibitions away for the evening.

  Aubry and Nora are a strange pair. I’ve never seen two more unlikely personalities be best friends, but I like her. She clearly forces Nora to chill out and go with the flow. Eve is another story. She skewered me with a glare when introduced. It faded quickly with a nudge from Nora, but there is obvious tension. Can she tell I am related to Holden? Is she that protective over Nora that she will dislike anyone she dates? If I am to gain all of Nora, I have to gain the approval of her small and tight posse. Eve will be a challenge.

  I watch Mike with Aubry. She glows in the fading daylight. She smiles at me and lifts her champagne glass just slightly. She knows I am watching her. He leans in near her ear to whisper something that makes her throw her head back and laugh. My stomach clenches. If there was ever a woman to avoid, it is all of the women here. He should not be pursuing anyone close to Nora. I raise my hand back at her and smile. Mike turns and grins wolfishly at me. I shake my head at him. It does not deter him though.

  Nora yawns from her spot on the swing hanging from an old tree in the yard. We are surrounded by string lights and flower beds, slightly removed from the chaos of the party.

  “Are you tired?” I ask.

  “A little. Parties, as you know, aren’t really my thing.”

  “You’re a good best friend.”

  “She is a good best friend,” she deflects. I grab the strings of the swing and pull her back, to my front.

  “Say the word and I will bring you home,” I whisper into the shell of her ear. I let go and she laughs with delight as she soars through the air.

  She looks at me over her shoulder as she swings near, then further away again. She doesn’t pump her legs and the swing gradually slows again.

  “I have to help Angela clean up. I can’t leave. That would be rude,” she says over her shoulder to me.

  “Let other people help. You were here early,” I say.

  “Clearly you don’t know women. That’s not how we function.”

  “Then I’ll stay and help, too.” I give her another push up into the air.

  “Don’t be silly,” she laughs. “I’m sure Mike would hate that,” she says, as she nears me again.

  I grab the swing, holding her close. “Mike is fine. He seems to be enjoying Aubry.”

  “Yes, I noticed that. Is he worthy of her?” she asks.

  “Definitely not but that won’t stop him from trying,” I grumble.

  “Aubry always has had a penchant for bad boys or men incapable of settling down.”

  “They’re a match made in heaven then. I will tell him she’s off limits, if you think it would be bad for them to hang out,” I say and release the swing.

  Nora drags her feet back and forth across the grass until the swing stops. She tilts her head backward and looks at me.

  “Not tonight. A one night stand won’t hurt either of them. It’s her birthday. Let her have whatever she wants,” she says.

  I mock bow. “As you wish.”

  “I love that movie.”

  “What movie?” I ask.

  “The Princess Bride. As you wish.”

  I shrug and she laughs at me. “Doesn’t sound like a movie I’d watch, sorry.”

  She shakes her head at me. “It’s funny. You’d probably enjoy it.”

  “Watch it with me sometime?” I ask. She stands and rounds the swing. Pushing up on her tiptoes, she kisses me. She smells like sangria and fresh cut grass. I wrap my arms around her.

  “Deal,” she says. I take her hand and walk us back into the mix of the party.

  “Who does Angela’s landscaping?” I ask, looking around.

  Nora l
ooks at me with a furrowed brow and wrinkled nose, as if I’ve asked a preposterous question. “Angela.”

  “Really?” I ask.

  “Yes. Why?”

  “I’d love some better landscaping at the cottage. Speaking of, how productive were you this week?” I ask.

  “Hire Angela, she’d love that. Oh! It was glorious. I wrote almost ten thousand words there. That breeze. The brine of the ocean. The waves crashing. Totally motivating and inspiring.” I kiss her forehead.

  “I’m glad. You can use it whenever. I tucked a spare key in the light fixture next to the front door.”

  “Really?” she asks, wide eyed.

  “Yes.”

  We walk to where Angela is watching the festivities. Nora sits down beside her and I begin to inquire about her gardening services, when I am tapped on the back.

  “Do you dance?” Charlotte asks. Her smiles is broad and her eyes clear.

  “If needed,” I answer.

  “My song’s up next. I need someone to dance to it with me,” she says.

  “What song?” Nora asks.

  “Your Mama Don't Dance,” she calls out.

  Nora and Angela cackle with laughter. I am nothing but confused.

  “Um, I don’t know that one, but sure?” I answer.

  Lotte takes me by the hand just as the current song dies down and a new one starts. It is ... not at all what I expected. It is old. Something Mike’s parents would have listened to. “Come on,” she urges. She takes my hands and pulls in, followed by pushing us apart. The next round I twirl her and channel my boarding school required dance lessons. Swing specifically. It doesn’t take my body long to begin leading. Charlotte squeals as I whip her around the yard. Mike yells something over the music, and from the corner of my eye, I can see him dragging Aubry to the makeshift dance floor. People are clapping and dancing around us. Charlotte laughs and allows me to be in control. She’s a decent dance partner, for a teenager, then again, she must be an old soul to have requested this song. I am tapped on the shoulder. Charlotte and I stop and Nora asks if she can cut in.

  “Sorry, buddy, it’s kinda our jam,” she says. I bow out and step away. Nora and Lotte have an entire routine together. They move each other around the dance area and sing along. Eve appears on my left.

  “They are my world. Do not fuck with my world and we will be good,” she says in between claps to the beat.

  “I have no intentions of fucking up your world,” I answer.

  “Good.” She slaps my back and disappears into the dance mix as a new song comes on. I can’t help the chuckle that slips out. Nora fucking Robertson has a goddamned security team. Who would have guessed.

  It is late. After midnight. Music still blares but Nora and I are in the Clarks’ living room. I have her hand in mine, massaging it.

  “You’re not going to do that thing again, right?” she asks. I laugh and shake my head.

  “Good, cause this actually feels good. Where did you learn to dance like that tonight? I think Lotte is star struck.”

  “Boarding school. Mike, too,” I say.

  “Sounds like you two have been friends as long as Aubry and me.” She yawns and rests her head on the couch cushion.

  “Tired?”

  “Wicked,” she answers.

  I drop her hand and slip off the couch to my knees. The bottom shelf of the coffee table is lined with books. When I find one about dragon tattoos, I slide back on the couch and motion for Nora to rest her head on my lap. She gives a curious look but does what she’s asked like an obedient pet. I crack open the book and read to her until she falls asleep. Her lips part slightly when she’s really out. They swell with sleep, looking more plump than normal. This fiery redhead has weaseled her way into my life in a way I don’t know how to feel about. Like a boxer, she knows where and when to strike to evoke fondness. For now, I just listen to her slow breaths and take in her delicate features as the party rages on in the back yard.

  Nora

  I wake up Sunday morning with a crick in my neck and Aubry hovering over me. Us. Us! I jolt upright.

  Aubry puts a finger to her lips to shush me before I say anything. Liam is sound asleep, head lolled backward, mouth agape. Soft snores wheeze in and out. I creep up with the help of Aubry pulling. She ushers me into the kitchen, hands me a large mug of coffee, fixed perfectly and heads to the patio.

  “He is fucking dreamy, Nora. And don’t tell me differently. Charlotte went inside to use the bathroom last night and came out gushing about how he was reading out loud to you.”

  I sigh and sip my coffee. He is dreamy. And messed up. But that part can be a secret that we carry, just he and I. Maybe. People say time heals all wounds but I do not agree. Every wound leaves a scar and I am covered in them. They remind us where we have been and in theory, should teach us where to go. Lately, I have felt so monumentally far away from the cabin. From Holden. My scars remind me that the past is real. For the first time since coming home, those scars don’t define me. I do not cling to them the way I once did.

  “I really like him. I feel, bolder lately. I think I want to try you know, the whole sex thing again.”

  “Oh, my God! You were serious? I totally thought that was like a week. You’re still not physical? That poor man.”

  “Aubry, lower your voice. I was serious, so no, there has been no sex.”

  “But the orgasm?” she asks.

  “It was a foot rub only. I told you.”

  “This is a big deal. I feel like now you have to make a show out of giving it up to him, since it’s your choice and all and he’s just waiting on you.”

  “Leave me alone, will you? I don’t have enough coffee in me yet. What about you? Did you love your party?” I ask, changing the subject.

  “Yes!” she says, too loudly. “And I loved Mike. He is like honey on a stick, that one.”

  “I don’t even know what that means. Is he still here?”

  “Gross Nora, at my mom’s house? I’m not that messed up. We did mess around for a while after everyone left. Since Liam was out cold, he had to call an Uber, but we made plans for tonight. Did you know he is a pilot? He owns his own plane. He’s taking me for a sunset flight over the coast and then I will properly thank him for it after we land.” She waggles her brows.

  I stare wide eyed at Aubry because it still amazes me how much information she can get out of people in such a short amount of time. How brazen and brash she is. Sometimes I wish I could live a slightly less inhibited life like her.

  When Liam appears in the patio doors rubbing sleep from his eyes, hair a mess of unruliness, I am utterly speechless. I feel him in my loins. I have never quite felt this level of attraction before. He yawns and Aubry laughs.

  “Coffee?” she asks. He nods and I hop up from my seat to fix a mug for him.

  “I’m sorry for falling asleep on you,” I say, as I pour his coffee. His arms snake around my waist, his chin sets up shop on my shoulder.

  “I’m not,” he says quietly.

  Monday I cannot stop thinking about Liam, which is a problem because each time he pops into my head, I get turned on. After pacing my morning away and half-assing through a lunchtime yoga class, it is during my shower at the yoga studio that I make up my mind. I am going to surprise Liam at work. I will be bold and brazen and waltz into his office, shut the door behind me and give him his fantasy. I will hurt him and please him.

  It takes me half an hour of walking to get to his building from the yoga studio. I stop outside the front doors of the building and stare upward. The glass building is sexy in its architecture and ominous in its size.

  I wring my hands together the entire elevator ride up. When the doors open, I cautiously step out. I don’t know what I am concerned about, only that my gut is in knots. My heart sounds like it’s coming from outside of me, like it’s a pair of high heels on wooden floorboards. I wander down the hall until I see a vacant desk. It must be Mara’s. I round it and stop short. I lean agains
t the door frame, eyes closed, trying to regulate my breath and settle my pulse. Who the fuck is on the corner of his desk with legs spread wide to him. I can only make out his hair from this angle, as the mystery woman’s back is blocking my view.

  No. Drapetomania strikes. I cannot do this. I do not want to feel this. My heart throbs in my chest. Monachopsis. Zemblanity. I cannot come up with a third word. He spots me when I am turning away to make a speedy exit.

  “Come on, Liam, please,” the woman whines. It is a needy plea.

  “Nora! No. Wait.” I hear the female protesting but it does not slow Liam down.

  “God fucking, dammit! Wait, Nora. Let me explain,” He urges.

  I stop and spin around, fantods. Furious at myself for believing that this was something between us. For allowing my heart to be used again. For being so gullible.

  “What could you possibly say to make me stay?” I bark out as I take a step backward. He grabs my shoulders and shakes me.

  “Do not leave! I’ll explain,” he commands. I am tempted to stomp on his foot and take the stairs three at a time to get away from him. But I don’t. He makes me weak. He is duende and minatory. I bite the inside of my cheek in deliberation. Maybe it is not what I thought. An imbroglio. I stand rigid, unsure what to do next. He steers me to his office bathroom. “I will be right back.”

  The floor shakes as Liam storms out of the room, I hear muffled footsteps and the woman’s voice. It is destitute sounding but I cannot make out what is being said. Fury builds in me. I will not wait. I will not be used. My hands clench into fists and I am one step forward in storming out, when the bathroom door swings open. Liam towers before me. Abience hits me but I stand my ground.

  “You’re a slubberdegullion! You should be punished. My heart is fragile, I can admit that. But just now, the emotions that bubbled up when I saw her, you, I ... I want you to hurt the way I do.”

  Liam steps closer and appraises me. “That is the sexiest, fucking thing I’ve ever heard.” He hesitates, as though summoning nerve from inside himself. “I think of you every hour of every day. I don’t want Candy. I want you.”

  I lash out and slap him. His head whips left before righting itself. His fingers immediately touch the spot that is already turning red. He steps forward again. “Yes, Nora. Punish me.”