Back in Bliss (Nights in Bliss, Colorado Book 9)

by Lexi Blake

  “Stef killed the bastard. Not you.” Stef Talbot had snuck into the office through the outside window. He’d lain in wait and when the time was right, he’d taken Logan’s tormenter out.

  But Markov had been there, too. Just as he’d heard the shot from Stef’s pistol, he’d seen Markov bring his gun to the back of Luka’s head. Stef had simply been faster to pull the trigger.

  Would he have sent Seth in? If the situation was the same and someone had to distract them, what would he have done? Would he have asked Seth to take that pain, to risk the loss of all that he was to save Georgia? To save his moms?

  Logan slumped down, so weary he could barely breathe because he knew the answer.

  Yes. He would send his best friend in knowing what could happen. He would do it because they did have a covenant between them that went far past the damn sterile contract on his desk. There was a promise, never spoken but always alive. A promise to put her first, to protect the people they loved. To kill or die so their family could go on. To build a future.

  God, he was so angry with Seth for leaving him behind. He had thought it was all about the incident, but now he realized he was pissed that Seth hadn’t been there. He was angry with Alexei for using him even when he knew he would do the same thing. He was angry with the world for changing so suddenly, for being safe one minute and deadly the next.

  But most of all he was so damn tired of being angry.

  Alexei stood in front of him, his face tight, a sheen of tears there. “Logan, from bottom of heart, I wish you well. You cannot forgive, but I am here to tell that this forgiveness I ask for is better for you. I am not asking for self. I know what it is to walk the world with bitter heart, but I came here and it make me realize that I was the problem. Me. The past is something that cannot to be changed, but self, this you control. And the past was not bad, not all. Just hours. Just days. I betray my brother by seeking revenge. I honor him by living life. I honor him by hoping for son to teach as he teach me.”

  He could still have kids. He could still make love. He could still have a life. Everything that had been wronged physically had been placed to rights. His body had healed. He’d followed every bit of advice Caleb had given him, trained and made himself stronger. He’d worked his ass off to make sure he wasn’t a gangly weak kid anymore.

  But Caleb hadn’t been the only doctor to treat him.

  “I would have done the same. You didn’t have a choice. We were outgunned. If you hadn’t given me up, all three of us would have died and then they would have started on the rest of the town.” The words felt like they were in a foreign language, odd and alien on his tongue. But they were the truth.

  But they weren’t the whole truth. He wasn’t ready to face that. Not yet.

  One step at a time. Leo preached it. One step and then another until he would find himself walking and talking and feeling again. He’d worked so hard on his body and neglected his soul.

  “This is more than I could hope. Logan Green, I need you to know that my Holly, my heart, she walks the earth because of you, because of your courage.”

  “Don’t say that.” Logan couldn’t listen to anyone talk about him being brave. He’d been an idiot bumbling his way through life. A joke.

  “You may not hear, but I say because it is true. You may never like me, but in my heart, in my soul, you are my brother,” Alexei said with deep purpose. “Know that wherever you to go, whatever you to do, I am behind you. I will be there if you need me.”

  Logan nodded, the only motion he seemed capable of.

  “Please to tell Sheriff I come by. I must sign paperwork for the class I teach.” Alexei took a step back, his face more open than it had been before. Alexei seemed younger now, happier. “And if you ever want to come to house with your friends, know you are most welcome. Holly would love to see you. Caleb as well, though he will likely only growl your way.”

  Alexei put his hat back on his head and left, the station quiet again, but nothing could stop the voices pounding through Logan’s head.

  He could forgive Alexei. He could say the words and know the truth and one day, he might even be able to be friendly. He might be able to sit down to a meal with him and laugh and joke and enjoy time with Holly again. The three of them had survived something together. He could handle that. He might be able to walk into Nate’s office and not see himself there.

  He could forgive everyone involved but the most important person. For that, he would need to see someone else.

  And he would need to be honest for once in his fucking life.

  He picked up the phone because his honesty had started in one particular place, with one man. It only seemed fair to continue it. He dialed the number and the phone answered on the first ring.

  “Hello?”

  Logan took a long breath. It took courage to banish demons. He needed to find some. His hand strayed to the comic book on his desk. His younger self had played at being Superman, had found comfort in the stories. But he was only a man and had to take small steps. He’d held back in the beginning, so damn sure that his real secrets never needed to come out. He’d had people who wanted to help him, but he hadn’t let them. “Hey, Leo. I need to tell you a story.”

  Leo Meyer’s infinitely patient voice came over the line. “I’m here to listen.”

  Logan began again. This time, he began with the truth.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Georgia stepped inside the sheriff’s department hoping she wasn’t making a terrible mistake, but after the lovely morning she’d had, she felt powerful. She’d made friends outside her normal circle. Considering the fact that the friends inside her normal circles were well-dressed snakes who already used Botox even before their thirties, she was thinking that Nell, the vegan who needed the tiniest bit of lip gloss, Lucy, who seemed to be pining after some mountain man everyone else was scared of, and Naomi, who sat back and enjoyed the chaos, seemed like the coolest friends ever.

  It didn’t matter that Naomi was older than she was. She’d gotten along great with the nurse. They’d chatted after the meeting and talked about Chicago, where Naomi was from. Lucy had joined them and asked all sorts of questions about big cities, and Nell had served them vegan muffins, which weren’t as good as real muffins, but she’d been able to eat them once Momma Marie had given her a mug of tea with a kicker of vodka. Apparently, Momma Marie knew what it took to get through a vegan meal.

  Georgia was starting to adore Momma Marie.

  She’d conquered Bliss’s social scene, and now she wanted to conquer Logan Green.

  Maybe not conquer, but getting through a meal without shouting at each other would be a good start. She owed it to Seth.

  No. She wasn’t going to lie to herself. Women with the strength to shoot a son of a bitch were honest with themselves and others. It was in the bylaws of the club she’d recently been claimed as an ancillary member of. When she actually shot her own son of a bitch, she would be a full member. Momma Marie had promised shotgun lessons as soon as possible.

  She wasn’t going to lie. She was doing this for herself. Because she wanted them both.

  She walked in and was struck by how quiet the place was.

  “Georgia?”

  She nearly started, Logan’s voice seeming to come out of nowhere. He was sitting at a desk to her left, his face dark, his eyes fixed on her. He looked like a man who hadn’t slept much the night before. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. “Hey.”

  He flicked his eyes to a place to her right and kept them there. “Go away. I’m not in a good mood.”

  Immediately her back came up. The instinct to tell him where to shove his mood was right there, begging to be let out. She’d behaved perfectly. She’d spent time with his mom. She’d fit in. She’d done everything right, and he wanted to reject her? Well, she could make that painful.

  And she stopped because something was obviously wrong. This wasn’t about her, and it would be childish to make it about her. This was about Logan.
“Maybe I can help.”

  His brows came together as though that had been the last thing he’d expected her to say. “I’m not trying to be a bastard. I…just had to admit something to a man I admire very much. I need to be alone for a while.”

  That was part of his problem. “You’re always alone. Even when you’re with me and Seth, you’re still alone. Have you thought that maybe being alone isn’t working for you?”

  “Don’t push me, Georgia.”

  Tears sprang to her eyes, but she wasn’t going to shed them. She needed to make him understand. “I’m not trying to push you. I’m trying to help you. I’m trying to mean something to you.”

  His fingers drummed along the desk. “Do you know what I’m going to ask you to do tonight? I’m going to ask you to sign a contract. Before I touch you, you’ll have to sign a contract that gives me use of your body. I have to pencil your name in because it’s a standard contract I sign with all subs.”

  Did he think she hadn’t grilled her brothers about him? She knew exactly how obnoxious to be for Chase to break down and tell her what she wanted to know. She simply kept asking the question for fifteen minutes in a place where he couldn’t escape her and, voila, she knew everything there was to know about Master Logan. “How many?”

  Those brows were now a near perfect V over his deep green eyes. “What?”

  She tapped her foot against the floor, but sneakers didn’t have the same effect her heels normally had. “How many contracts have you signed? You say it’s standard and you’re the big bad Dom, so how many contracts? Kitten’s doesn’t count because there was no sex involved. Give me this massive number, Logan Green, so I’ll know how little I mean to you.”

  He stared at her for a minute, and she knew they both knew the truth. He hadn’t signed a contract before. Oh, he’d slept with submissives. As far as she knew, he’d slept with half the women in Dallas and an even larger percentage of Southern Colorado’s female population, but he’d never signed that sacred contract with one of them.

  And she wasn’t stupid. That G on his chest had nothing to do with his last name. He was a foolish male who didn’t want to admit he’d gotten caught in her clumsily placed trap, but he was in it and she wasn’t about to let him go.

  She wasn’t letting either of them go.

  Logan leaned forward, obviously still looking for a way out. “The amount of contracts I’ve signed means nothing. You’re not at all disturbed that I’m asking you to sign a contract that gives me rights to your body? You’re willing to allow our relationship to be limited to what’s on a piece of paper? In a standardized contract?”

  He needed to get over that contract thing. It was something he hid behind. She grabbed a pen off the big desk beside her and strode to Logan’s workspace. Without a second thought, she took the contract, flipped to the back page, and signed her name. “There. Now you can relax.”

  His jaw dropped open. “You didn’t even read it.”

  She didn’t need to. She knew this man. It was funny. Seth had talked about his best friend for weeks before coming to Colorado and how brave and loyal he was, and all she’d been able to think about was that whoever that guy was, he had nothing on Logan Green. God, she’d made him crazy and he’d still come running for her when she’d been in danger. He’d still pulled her out of the fire and made sure she was safe. If Seth was her Prince Charming, then Logan was her Knight in Shining Armor. His armor was a little rusty though. “I trust you. Isn’t that what all of this D/s stuff is about? Trust and communication?”

  He frowned, looking down at the contract. “I don’t know how we can communicate if you don’t even read the thing. You need a keeper.”

  She had to admit, he kind of rocked the khaki uniform. She’d never found the color sexy before, but Logan was hot in everything. He was so big and gorgeous that it was hard to remember how vulnerable he was. “You need the contract. I know what it says. It talks about rights and obligations and sex and weird freaky sex and it makes you feel safe, so I signed it. As to me needing a keeper, I kind of thought the contract gave me one.”

  His jaw firmed as he looked down at the contract. “I haven’t signed anything yet, and I don’t know if I should.”

  His voice was so quiet, her heart nearly skipped a beat. Her first instinct was to panic, but she stilled the impulse. He needed her. She could see that plainly. And she could definitely see that if she wanted a shot with these two amazing men, she needed to grow up. She put her hand over his. “What scares you about it?”

  She was surprised when he didn’t move away from her. He was still, but he didn’t move. “You don’t know everything about me.”

  She knew all the important stuff. She knew he had a big heart and he was stubborn as hell and he was a hero. Even when he’d been a kid, he’d been a hero. Seth had told her a story about how Logan had saved him from a man who’d held a gun to his head years before. Logan hadn’t flinched, even as an untested teen. But he seemed to have something he needed to say. “You could tell me.”

  He shook his head. “I can’t. Not yet.”

  Patience wasn’t usually her thing, but since she’d come to Bliss, a lot of things had been changing. When she thought about it, it wasn’t the trip to Bliss that had started her change. That had begun the minute she’d met Logan Green. Without meeting Logan, she never would have been ready for Seth. She would have been a blustery brat throwing up every bit of armor she had to protect herself from rejection. Logan had softened her up, and Seth had delivered the deathblow to her childish persona. “You don’t have to tell me everything, only what you want to.”

  Logan stood up. “I don’t want to talk about any of it. I want it to go away. I want to wake up and find out that the last two years were a bad dream.”

  She leaned into him. She knew he’d been through something bad. Chase had said Logan had gotten his ass kicked. Ben had called it torture. Georgia had been reading about Dominance and submission, and despite her attempts to look like she couldn’t care less, she knew one of the things in that contract she hadn’t read would be about comfort. She’d read the contract Nat had signed. The Dominant owed the submissive protection and comfort. Maybe that was all one-way in the contract, but there was something implied underneath, the way it was in a marriage. The man could be all stalwart and stuff, but deep down, it went both ways. If she’d become Logan Green’s sub, then she wanted to comfort her Dom. She slowly slid her arms around his lean waist and rested her head against his chest.

  It took him a moment, but his arms came up and circled her, holding her more tenderly than she could remember. He’d made love to her before, but this was something even sweeter. This was kindness and caring.

  “I think I might be broken inside.” He whispered the words. “I don’t know that I’m good for you. I’ve been in therapy for months and earlier I called my shrink and had to tell him I’d been lying about a whole bunch of stuff. I thought I was fine. I really did, but I’m not, and I don’t know that I should put you through that.”

  “Do you care about me?” She tilted her head up, loving the strong line of his jaw and that hint of a beard that never seemed to go away no matter how often he shaved. After the meeting had broken up, his other mom had come in and talked with everyone. Teeny had come armed with some photo albums. She had shown Georgia pictures of Logan as a child, and it had been hard to equate that sweet-faced, gangly kid with the rough man she loved.

  “I shouldn’t.”

  “Logan, answer the question.”

  His lips turned down in a frown, and his eyes got steely.

  “Please,” she tried and snuggled closer. “Sir.”

  He sighed, the frown fading. “God, you’re a brat. I’m crazy about you, and you know it. You also know I’ve never signed a contract before and, you’re right, Kitten doesn’t count. She’s the only person I’ve ever met who’s more fucked up than me.”

  Georgia shook her head. “Oh, no, I think you passed her, Sir. The last time I
saw her she was almost normal.”

  He smacked her ass. “Brat.” His cheek came to rest against her hair. “But you’re right because at least Kitten will talk about what happened to her. God, she can talk. Like forever. I know more about Kitten’s cage and her upkeep than I ever hoped to know.”

  “So you should talk to me. If you care about me, then I want in. You’re not dragging me down. You’re giving me the chance to lift you up. I want that chance. I know you think I’m superficial, but I don’t want to be. I want to mean something special to you.”

  “You are special.” His hand found her hair, his fingers tangling in it.

  “Then talk to me. I’ll tell you about my craptastic childhood and you can tell me all the bad things. If you like, we can call Seth and make it a drinking game. We’re both kids with crappy parents. Seth and I will get drunk off our butts really fast.”

  A slow smile slid across his face, and her heart lit up. She’d put that smile there. “Yeah, Seth’s dad was pretty terrible, and his mom wasn’t any better.”

  “My mom was a stripper who only married my dad because she got pregnant, and then she took him for everything she could and ran off with a European hustler named Reynaldo. I haven’t seen or heard from her in fifteen years.”

  He hissed a little, a grimace on his face. “Yikes. I can’t help you with the ‘bad parent Olympics.’ I kind of lucked out. I mean, my dad was psychotic crazy, but Momma Marie took care of him.”

  “I love your momma. I love Teeny, too, but Marie is all shades of awesome.”

  A laugh shook through him, and she could feel his interest rising. His erection was right there against her belly. Without her heels, she barely made it to the middle of his chest. He was so big and strong, he made her feel downright petite. “I would not have guessed you would get along with my scariest mom, but I shouldn’t be surprised. Seth was worried, but I knew you would hold your own.”