Homicide by Hamlet (Cozy Mystery) Book #3 (Chubby Chicks Club Cozy Mystery Series)

by Lois Lavrisa

“That’s what I said.” Priscilla arched an eyebrow.

  Winona rolled her eyes.

  Then Priscilla turned to me and said, “Listen, I need to know if you have some spare sheets of plywood, my team needs two more.”

  She could’ve asked any other team, so I felt she must have an ulterior motive. “Did the other teams use all of theirs?”

  Priscilla’s jaw jutted. “Oh, I didn’t ask them.”

  “Why not?” I asked.

  She flicked her hand as if shooing a fly. “I didn’t want to bother them.”

  My eyebrow rose. “Gee, I guess I’m just lucky that you like troubling me.”

  Priscilla adjusted her purse strap on her shoulder. “So, when can we pick them up?”

  Gerald approached and said hello to the group.

  I was relieved that I was saved from answering her, and giving in to yet another demand thinly veiled as a request.

  I said, “Gerald, I don’t know if you’ve met Priscilla’s assistant, Winona?”

  As they shook hands, Dwight, Bezu’s ex, joined the group. Introductions were made. Immediately I looked at Bezu to see her reaction. It looked like she was completely unfazed by his presence.

  “Hello, ladies and Gerald.” Dwight kissed Priscilla on the cheek.

  “I’m sorry to disturb you all, I just wanted to talk to Dr. Maple for a moment,” Gerald said to the group.

  He always called me Dr. Maple when we were around other people, but thankfully he used my first name when we were alone. After all, we were friends.

  Since we were within earshot of Wilbert and Umika, I was glad he addressed me professionally. I don’t need to be the topic of rumors.

  “And I need to steal my lovely bride-to-be away,” Dwight said. “We have some pressing business in town.”

  “We were almost done here, anyway,” said Priscilla with a scowl. “Annie Mae was just going to tell me where and when I can pick up some supplies, then we can leave.”

  Talk about putting me on the spot. I didn’t want her lingering around our set and poking her nose where it didn’t belong. To get her in and out of our area, I needed to set a strict time. “You can get them tonight around six. They are behind the theater stage, near our box of props.”

  “Fine then,” said Priscilla. “Dwight and I have so much to be done for the ceremony.” She whipped her head toward her assistant. “Winona, you need to take notes. Are you ready?”

  Her assistant nodded.

  “I’m thinking some of the overhanging trees in Forsyth Park might get in the way of our camera crew during the ceremony,” Priscilla continued. “The branches might have to be cut.” She stuck her left hand out, gazing at the diamond on her ring finger.

  I jumped into the conversation. “You know, you can’t just go around destroying public property.”

  “Never mind that.” Priscilla glibly flipped her hand. “We have less than two days to go before our nuptials. I’m exhausted. Which reminds me, Winona, did you set up my spa day? Make sure I get all the beauty treatments available.”

  Winona, who had been standing silent in Priscilla’s shadow said, “Yes ma’am, I’ll add it to the list.”

  “Time is of the essence here. Hop to it.”

  Winona scowled.

  “And that sourpuss attitude is not getting you anywhere, so drop it,” Priscilla said snatching Dwight’s hand. “Be happy for me. I’ve found love. Maybe one day, if you’re lucky enough, you will, too.”

  The girl blushed as she bit her lip.

  Gerald leaned in and said to me, “Can we grab dinner later tonight?”

  He smelled like clean linen, and I felt a slight tingle in my toes as he whispered in my ear. I mouthed, “Yes.”

  “Dr. Maple, everyone, I have to leave now,” Gerald said. “It was nice seeing all of you.”

  “Gerald seemed in a hurry to leave.” Priscilla glanced over her shoulder.

  “I’m sure he had things to do,” I said. “Actually, I think we all need to wrap this up.”

  “Before we depart I have to say something. Bitty, it seems that a lot of people like your cooking.” Her voice dripped with contempt as she looked at Bezu. “Although, had my brother provided the food this week, there would have been something to really rave about.”

  Bezu sucked in a breath. “I’m curious, is he anything like you?”

  “Let’s hope not,” I said under my breath to no one in particular.

  “I wish he was more like me.” Priscilla thumbed her chest. “He’s, what do you call it, a softhearted soul? He’s like our daddy, he doesn’t have the determination and drive that I do. Now, don’t get me wrong, he’s a fantastic cook. But he could’ve had his own Food Network show by now if he’d just shown some ambition.” She stared at Bezu. “Why do you ask about him?”

  “My business is expanding so quickly—to the point I might not be able to take on any more clients. I might have some business to send his way,” Bezu said.

  Dwight tilted his head as he looked at Bezu.

  Priscilla furrowed her brows, as if puzzling over what Bezu said. “I will tell him to contact you.”

  Bezu responded, “Thank you.”

  “Well isn’t that super generous of Bezu,” I said. “Wanting to share her success with another business owner, like your brother. That is true genteel southern manners.”

  Bezu blushed.

  I did it again, embarrassed my humble friend in my quest to brag about her.

  “Hmm.” Priscilla paused. “On the other hand, perhaps it’s best if he doesn’t associate with you. After all, he has a stellar standing in the community, and he should guard against associating with anyone unlike him.”

  Bezu’s face sank.

  My blood boiled. Yet, I didn’t want to say anything to Priscilla that I’d regret later, so I held my tongue.

  Dwight and Winona stood by, both looking away from Priscilla. Did they feel that looking too long at Priscilla was like looking at Medusa, and they’d be turned into stone?

  Priscilla’s phone rang. “Dwight, we have to go.”

  With that, Priscilla and Dwight left with Winona following close behind.

  Under my breath I said, “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

  Bezu shook her head. “My, oh my. As much as I want to continue to be civil to her, she certainly makes that rather difficult. At least seeing Dwight again wasn’t too bad. I’m relieved he didn’t actually speak to me. That made it much easier to bear. But Priscilla, she’s a different story. I bet she could start an argument in an empty house.”

  I placed my hand on Bezu’s arm. “Don’t feel bad. For years I’ve tried to warm up to her. If anything, every time she opens her mouth, I dislike her more.”

  “Well, let’s not let her dampen our good mood.” Bezu straightened her back.

  “I won’t. By the way, on my way home I need to go over to the Sunshine Market and grab some things. Can I get you anything?” I asked.

  “No thank you.” Bezu folded a tablecloth. “I’m just about ready to leave too. I have some errands to run.”

  A moment later, we said our goodbyes. I waved as I made my way out of the building.

  Ten minutes later I drove my car out of the large parking lot outside of the theater building. Ahead of me, I saw Bezu’s car speeding away. Where was she going so quickly?

  I watched as her car careened toward the sidewalk where Priscilla and Dwight were walking. I honked my horn in an effort to get her attention, but to no avail.

  Bezu’s car veered straight toward them, tires screeching as the car ran up onto the sidewalk.

  Priscilla and Dwight jumped out of the way, falling to the ground as the car swerved back on the road and raced away.

  My heart sprinted and I clutched the steering wheel. Holy smokes! What in the world was Bezu doing? It looked as though she’d been trying to mow them down.

  I pulled over and speed dialed Bezu. I got her voice mail. “Bezu, are you okay? What’s going on? Please
call me, I’m worried about you.” I hung up then and got out of my car to see if Priscilla and Dwight were okay.

  I ran toward the sidewalk where Priscilla and Dwight were tangled up on the ground.

  “Are you okay?” I offered my hand to help Priscilla up as Dwight slowly rose to his feet.

  Priscilla’s face was red, her hair mussed up. She gave me her hand. She trembled as I pulled her to her feet.

  Dwight slung an arm around Priscilla. “You okay, babe? You’re shivering.”

  “No, I certainly am not! We nearly got killed!” Priscilla huffed. “Did you see that? Bezu has lost her mind. I’m calling the police and having her arrested for attempted murder.”

  “I’ll do it.” Dwight pulled his cell phone from his pocket. “Damn. My screen is shattered. This is the worse thing ever. I need my phone.”

  “Hey, what about me? She nearly crushed me.” Priscilla glared at him.

  He kissed the top of her head. “Of course, you’re more important to me than a cell phone.”

  She huffed. “I would hope so.”

  “This phone was brand new.” He lifted the cell to eye level. “Shit.”

  Studying them, I didn’t see any cuts or blood on either of them. “Are you both okay?”

  “Luckily.” Dwight turned toward me. “Did you see what happened?”

  Ignoring his question, I glanced away. “If you’re injured, I can call an ambulance for you.” I had seen what happened, but I wanted to talk to Bezu to see what was going on before I said anything. Surely she had a valid reason for her errant driving. Perhaps she’d passed out? Or the steering was faulty?

  “I’m fine. Just rattled. What we need is the police.” Priscilla narrowed her eyes at me as she poked a finger at me. “Your friend is crazy.”

  A slight breeze rustled the branches overhead. In the distance, a siren screamed. A jogger passed by, followed by a group of kids.

  My chest was tight with worry for Bezu. “Let’s not jump to conclusions.”

  “You’re kidding me, right? I know for sure that it was Bezu,” Dwight said.

  I raised my eyebrows, as if uncertain.

  He chortled. “C’mon. Her business name was on the outside of the car on one of those magnetic signs. Pretty hard to miss.”

  “For all we know, you could be in cahoots with her,” Priscilla poked a finger at me. “How convenient that you just happen to be here at the same time, too.” Priscilla moved closer to Dwight then shot an evil look at me. “We can’t trust you, either. You just want to get rid of me, because you know that my team will be awarded first place this year and knock you off your winning streak.”

  “Not only that, Bezu is jealous that I’m marrying someone else.” Dwight snorted. “She’s never gotten over me.”

  My oh my, that man sure is full of himself. I’m glad Bezu never married him.

  “Now wait just a minute,” I said. “You two are being ridiculous.” I put my index finger up. “Number one, Priscilla, every team has a chance to win. That’s what makes it a competition.”

  She rolled her eyes.

  I held up another finger. “And number two, you, Dwight. Bezu is so over you. If you don’t realize that, then you really need some help.”

  “Stop picking on him.” Priscilla grabbed his arm in a protective mode. “Did you see how nice he treated her just a while ago?”

  I held up my palm in a stop sign. “I’m just saying, we’re all adults and should act accordingly.”

  “Act like adults? Are you kidding me? Your friend almost ran us over,” Priscilla shouted.

  “But luckily, she didn’t succeed. We got out of the way in time,” Dwight added.

  “And you two seem fine,” I said. “So no harm done. And I’m sure that we can get to the bottom of what happened.” I looked around, hoping to see Bezu’s car.

  “Oh no,” Priscilla snorted. “She’s not getting off the hook that easy. We’re going to file a police report.”

  “We are?” Dwight stepped back.

  She yanked his arm. “Yes we are. Right now.”

  “Fine, if you’d like, I can call the police for you,” I said. “I’m sure you’re too shaken up.” I offered because I planned to call my buddy José. Pulling out my phone, I pushed speed dial.

  Chapter Five

  After José arrived and took statements, Dwight and Priscilla departed, leaving just my cop friend and me.

  My phone rang, and it was Bezu. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for the past hour. Are you okay?” I asked.

  “Yes, fine,” Bezu said. “My phone was dead. I’m just catching up on missed calls now.”

  “I’m here with José. I’m putting you on speaker.”

  “Hey, Bezu,” José said. “Where are you?”

  “At home, cooking,” she answered. “Where are y’all?”

  “We’re at Armstrong,” I said.

  “Do you want to come over for an early dinner, around five? I’m making shrimp gumbo and pecan pie,” Bezu said.

  “I’m meeting Gerald for dinner,” I said.

  “Please bring him, he’s more than welcome,” she said.

  “I’ll ask him, but I’m pretty sure he’ll take home cooking over a restaurant meal any day,” I said.

  “Can you make it tonight José?” Bezu asked.

  “Maybe after I finish my paperwork on reckless operation of a motor vehicle that nearly hit two pedestrians.” José arched an eyebrow. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that would you?”

  “Heavens no. Why would I?” Bezu asked.

  I relaxed my shoulders. “You really don’t know anything about this, do you?”

  “About what? Should I?” she said.

  “Yes. Considering it was your car that almost hit Priscilla and Dwight,” José said.

  “Oh my! Are they okay?” Bezu asked.

  “Yes, just angry and upset,” I added. “But for Priscilla, that’s how she always appears.”

  “And it was my car?” she asked.

  “Yes,” José answered.

  “Good gracious, I feel so bad, since maybe it’s my fault,” she sighed.

  “It is?” I asked.

  “I couldn’t find my car keys before I left campus. I just figured I’d find them later. In the meantime, my helper gave me a ride home so that I could get my spare key. She’s giving me a ride back soon.”

  “Someone must’ve taken your keys,” I said.

  “That is a possibility,” José added.

  “But who? And why?” Bezu asked.

  “Exactly what I was going to ask,” José said.

  “Apparently it’s someone who wanted to hurt Priscilla and Dwight, and frame you for it,” I said.

  “Who would want to hurt them?” Bezu asked. “And make it look like I did it?”

  “Based on their abrasive personalities, there might be a long list of people who are not fond of them,” I said. “But I can’t imagine anyone actually wanting to harm them. If I don’t like someone, I just avoid them as best I can.” Which always seemed impossible with Priscilla.

  “Obviously someone must really hate them to want to injure them,” Bezu said.

  “That could be the case,” José said. “But then again, maybe someone just took advantage of finding your keys and took your car on a joy ride. Someone who was a poor driver and accidentally ran off the road nearly hitting innocent pedestrians. Either way, it looks like I need to canvass the area.” José cleared his throat. “Bezu, when was the last time you saw your keys? Can you think of anyone who had access to them?”

  “I saw them on a table after I finished cleanup. Let’s see, besides me, my helper and Annie Mae, there were Priscilla, Dwight, Winona and Gerald. And there might have been a few theater camp students milling about as well. And another staff member, who might be a team leader like you, Annie Mae.”

  “What did he look like?” I asked.

  “A moon shaped face, and he had a comb over hairstyle,” Bezu said.
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  “Sounds like Dr. Isenberg,” I said. “Well, we can rule out Priscilla, Dwight, and me because obviously none of us were driving the car.”

  “And my helper, because she was giving me a ride home when it happened,” Bezu said.

  “And Gerald would never do anything like that,” I said.

  “Are you sure?” José asked me.

  My thoughts stumbled for a moment. Yes, I had known Gerald for a long time. And I enjoyed his companionship, but did I really know him? On the other hand, I prided myself on being a good judge of character. But then again, I had been wrong on occasion too.

  “Yes, I’m sure,” I said despite my ambivalence.

  “I’ll still have to talk with him and Dr. Isenberg,” José said. “What about Winona?”

  “She’s Priscilla’s rather timid lackey,” I said. “She seems sweet, but I don’t know her at all.” There was something familiar about Winona, although I couldn’t quite place my finger on it.

  “Bezu, would you be able to identify any of the theater students you saw hanging around the area the last time you saw your keys?” José asked.

  “Sure,” Bezu said.

  “We found your car, and it doesn’t appear to be damaged. Can you get here in the next half hour to take a look at it?” José asked Bezu.

  “Yes, my helper can give me a ride,” Bezu said.

  “I’ll meet you in the theater lobby, call me when you get here,” José said.

  We hung up with Bezu and José headed over to the theater.

  I got in my car and took a deep breath. A thought crossed my mind, although only briefly. Could Gerald have tried to hurt Priscilla and Dwight? As soon as it entered my mind, I rejected it. No. It was far–fetched to even entertain that thought. There’s no way he could harm anyone. Could he?

  Chapter Six

  At five that evening, Gerald, José and I were in Bezu’s dining room having dinner. The smell of spices, oregano and Cajon seasoning filled the warm air.

  “Anyone who wants some rice, I’d be glad to serve you,” Gerald offered.

  We passed our floral china bowls to Gerald, who scooped a mound of yellow rice, then Bezu ladled steaming gumbo on top.

  “I still can’t believe that someone took my car and tried to run over Priscilla and Dwight,” said Bezu after I said the blessing.