Scrupulous (An Affliction of Falling Novel Book 1)

by Canady, Kristina

  Bastard takes stalking to a new level and as much as I want to be ticked off, it is getting kind of hot. Perhaps I am truly fucked in the head. Rounding the end of the trail head to exit the park, I pass a group of lingering teens all smoking up a storm. As much as it pains me to see anyone, let alone kids, smoking; my asthma is certainly more pissed about the matter. Within seconds, I am buckled over, gasping for air as the offending essence lingering in the air triggers my reactive airway.

  “Fuck, Sorcha!” Gavin yells as he comes around to examine me with fretting hands. Worry verging on panic sets in on his face as I dig my rescue inhaler out of my little running pack in between gasps for air. He guides me over to a bench nearby, but I pull away and head in the opposite direction of the offending vapors and sit while I inhale the medication. “Do you need to go to the hospital or something?” He worriedly fusses over me, not knowing what to do.

  “No!” I wheeze as I drop my elbows to my knees and hang my head in a breathing recovery position. It doesn’t take long for the meds to work; his soothing hand that has settled for rubbing up and down my back isn’t bad either. As I come back up to rest my head against the bench, fatigue takes over as the run and asthma attack has damn near wiped me out. And I haven’t even made it to the diner yet for the barrage of questions lying in wait. Let’s just say that everyone’s calls all week have slipped by me with a random text reply here and there.

  “Jesus, what happened?” Gavin voice thunders through my hypoxic fog now that the crisis has been adverted.

  “What happened? My asthma can’t take the hint that breath play is a hard limit for me,” I joke and wink at him. It takes him a minute for it to register before he gives me a half-hearted smile but no other reply. “So, stalker, still no phone number but your PI skills are impeccable. Did you slip a tracking device up my ass or something?” His face is priceless.

  “No! God, why would you say that? I run here every Sunday afternoon. I happened to see you and caught up, but you didn’t hear me calling your name, or perhaps you were mad. I’m never quite sure. Why haven’t you told me that you have asthma? Any other medical conditions I should know about? Any allergies? This is serious; I don’t want to accidentally do something to hurt you. See, this is why my lifestyle makes sense. We would have negotiated a contract and discussed things like this up front.” He tightly pulls me into him, sweat and all, and kisses the top of my head.

  “Healthy as a horse. Not to worry, my big, bad Dom. Look, great to see you, but I gotta go. I’m already late.” I shouldn’t have run as long as I did. Thankfully the diner isn’t far from here.

  “So soon? I haven’t seen you in days.” He irresistibly pouts.

  “Whose fault is that? You are the one who stalks me when he has time. When I don’t see you, I assume you are busy working. No harm done.” I get up with a heavy sigh and make to leave.

  “Are you going to invite me to come?”

  “Excuse me?” Turning on my heel, hands on hips, the lines of my lips draw down tight.

  “It’s Sunday, you must be going to meet your friends. I’m starving come to think of it… chasing a hot little brunette around the park for a few miles really wears a guy out.” His dazzling smile begins to chip away at my resolve.

  “I didn’t think we were ready for that kind of thing,” I say with a heavy sigh.

  “What kind of thing?”

  “You know, the whole ‘meet the friends and family’ thing. That’s a new step towards, ya know, commitment.” Suddenly, my yoga pants and sports bra seem too tight.

  “Well, let’s get to steppin’ then.” Gavin stands up to stretch.

  “No, I can’t do that. I am not ready.” I shake my head furiously.

  “Sor, we’ve been dating for a few weeks. I don’t plan on going anywhere. I already know Samuel and Molly.” His use of their real names personalizes it that much more.

  “But you don’t know my sister yet and we should keep it that way. If you come, she will automatically start calling you my boyfriend. At that point, you will be expected to come to a family dinner or some shit.”

  “Is that so bad? Are you ashamed of me?” He honestly looks hurt by the thought.

  “Heaven’s no! Not ready for the boyfriend thing. We are just dating. Shit, I’d be pushing it if I said friends with benefits. We barely know each other.” What is the deal? Why does this need to be pushed so fast?

  “It’s more than that. You are my girl. There is no one else. And we got to know each other quite well the first night we met.”

  “Says the one who has plans to top other women tonight!” How dare he state that when everyone knows what he does with his free time at the dungeon? Acts that I have condoned in a sense by keeping it real and having hard conversations. We are openly dating and screwing others was left to a grey area. That’s what I wanted, isn’t it?

  “So, that’s what this is about? I told you I am not sleeping with anyone else.”

  “Technically, no. But you are performing other acts of a sexual nature with others.” The thought of him with another begins to boil my blood once more.

  “Sorcha. We’ve talked about this. That is a part of my life as well. It is who I am. I’ve never asked you to change for me. I am fully aware of how you prefer the edge of promiscuity with strangers. You like emotionally clean cut, no collateral damage,” Gavin attempts to reason.

  “And I am not asking you to change for me either. I just don’t see how this all fits together for a long-standing future. Our… tastes are too different. You want a complex power exchange with someone who can commit to the lifestyle and I just want to be free of commitment and fuck around, shameless in my lust until I decide the time is right to put away childish things and settle down.”

  “Do we have to label it? Can’t we just take it day by day?” he implores, grasping back at any thread.

  I stop for a few minutes and roll that over in my head as a few passerby scoot around our obvious lovers spat. “Yeah, sure. Whatever.” I shrug my shoulders, not really sure why I basically threw him a bone.

  “So I am coming to lunch with you then.” He quickly weasels his way toward his set goal.

  “Oh God.”

  “That is not a no, so let’s grab a taxi before you change your mind. And don’t bother fighting me on it; you aren’t going on foot anywhere after what just happened.” He pulls me down the path to the street and hails a passing cab and I don’t argue for once.

  “Is it too late to change my mind?” I feebly attempt once we are settled in the taxi.

  “Yup.” He cocks his head and wordlessly dares me to contest with that glare of his. Oh jeez, I might need a brown paper bag to hyperventilate in. One minute he is this adorable ‘boy next door’ and the next, he morphs into something deadly. That’s not to mention all the in-betweens.

  We arrive to the diner, still glistening with sweat in our workout clothes. Pausing at the door, I contemplate running away but Gavin’s hulking frame blocks my escape as he takes my hand and opens the way.

  Breonna’s eyes look up from her menu and lock onto us as we step over the threshold. There is no turning back now. Her brow arches as a million questions probably filter through her mind, coming to settle on one conclusion. The others take note and begin to follow her line of sight, causing my cheeks to heat under the pressure. Since when do I get embarrassed over anything? Especially in front of this lot! Jade's lip quivers in a suppressed chuckle as she takes in my face and the horror clearly written across it as Gavin practically drags me over to them. I haven't seen her smile in so long that this stint is almost worth that beautiful sight alone.

  "Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Breonna inquires in her sisterly tone, wrought with irony.

  “This big bastard kidnapped me in the park and insisted on holding me hostage until I allowed him to come," I relent as I scoot in next to Jade and make room for Gavin to sit on the end. His long legs would get cramped in any other seating arrangement. Samuel and Ben
can't help but continually exchange surprised glances with one another and Molly immediately casts her eyes downward in respect for the presence of Gavin, resident Dom extraordinaire.

  Remembering my manners after a few coughs and not-so-subtle reminders from my friends, I begin introductions. "Oops. Everyone, this is Gavin. Gavin, this is Jade and Ben. I believe you know Samuel and Molly already. And that frazzled piece with ants in her pants is my sister, Breonna."

  "It's nice to finally meet you, Gavin. I assume you are the reason we haven't seen much of Sorcha?" Breonna directs her fire at Gavin, who sits as cool as a cucumber, ready for the anticipated onslaught.

  "Guilty as charged. I apologize; I am quite addicted to this one." He takes my hand in his in a purposeful display causing my cheeks to burn brighter. His American accent and act is in full effect, no one the wiser to the truth about him.

  "So, that means you are her..." Breonna drags out, waiting for him to fill in the blank.

  "Boyfriend, naturally." Gavin's smug expression elicits shocked ones from the group, almost causing me to crawl under the table.

  "Sorcha! You went out and got yourself a boyfriend and didn't tell any of us?" Jade finally breaks the silence, offended to have been left out of the best friend loop.

  "You must have scored off the charts on that little point system of hers," Breonna chides in good humor. Samuel and I both snap our heads to her and glare while Molly blanches. The three of us knew immediately where this would go considering Gavin's nature. She innocently scoots back, suddenly concerned about what she may have done. Oh, now she wants to care about her impact on the man I brought!

  "Oh, really? Point system? Do tell." Gavin turns to face me with his dark and stormy glare, his jealousy and insecurities written clearly along with his need to know everything.

  "It's just a joke. No real point system. Can we order now?" I attempt to defer the impending de-railing as the waitress approaches to take our orders.

  "You are a terrible liar, Sorcha." He tsks me, innocent enough sounding to those who don't know better. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Molly shiver in response. Is that the reaction I was supposed to have had to the warning in his tone? Great.

  "Thanks-a-fucking-lot, Bre. We can talk about this later," I sweetly try again after everyone has ordered and the waitress leaves.

  "I think it might make for wonderful dinning talk. Tales of the point game you play. Which is odd considering the many warnings I have received in regards to such games."

  The table falls quiet, the tension rolling off Gavin, acting as a silencer.

  "It is not a game I play; it is a compilation of data when reading someone. You are not the only one who can read people well. I, too, have a knack, assign points, and go in for the kill if the points fall within a range and suit my needs at that given time."

  "Sounds all very scientific and well plotted. And to what research data do you base this award system on?" He snorts incredulously.

  "Years of practice and keen observation." The honesty in my tone is inescapable, considering my analytical prose.

  "Years of practice? Well, sound like you could very well write a book on the matter." He sounds like a wounded and bratty teenager.

  "I actually could. Are you judging me again, Gavin?" I snarkily reply, the moment getting heated despite our present company.

  "Easy you two, let’s not turn this momentous occasion into a pissing match. I didn't mean for it to get out of hand. Sor, your scientific fail-proof method of getting your jollies off was bound to come out sooner or later if you keep this one around. And Gavin, while we are all aware of how ridiculous she can be, we love her for it, so back off. There, can we sit and have a nice meal together already?" Breonna scolds as if we were her set of twins. Jade and Ben both snicker and tip up their glasses while Samuel looks as if he has been slapped, along with Gavin. They are Dom’s at heart, and the scolding clearly rubbed them the wrong way. Aren’t we just one happy family?

  "Here's to Sor's scientific methods! Her fail-proof fuck-buddy hunting guide. It's helped me get laid countless times!" Ben boldly jokes and holds up his glass, to which Breonna, Molly, and Jade join in and tap glasses, all having benefited from my methods at one point or another in our relationships.

  Gavin is decidedly pissed though he tries to hide it and joins in the good humor at my expense before leaning in and putting his lips to my ear. "Oh, baby girl, you have some explaining to do." He quickly pulls away and starts up a conversation with Breonna, pulling all sorts of fun details our family and me out of her that she is more than happy to divulge.

  I glance at Samuel and all he can do is shake his head in pity. It went without saying that Gavin was going to want to pick this point system apart, another match of wills, jealousy, and skills. Something that would further prove how well we, in fact, didn't fit together and could pull us further apart.

  Gavin didn’t like to be challenged or the idea me leading a promiscuous lifestyle, no matter how many times he tells himself he’s accepting of it. No man ever wants to think about the woman he has laid claim to as having ever been with another man. It is an evolutionary, deep-seeded, testosterone-laden concept. It remains beguiling how we keep being drawn back together by some unnamed force considering how hard it is to make all the puzzle pieces fit. Somehow, we provide something to one another. Something that was originally missing in our lives before this whirlwind began. Breonna's voice draws my attention back to their discussion.

  "Yeah, Sor has always been the wild card in the family, the black sheep, always going against the grain. Our poor parents do nothing but scratch their heads and try to be supportive. She's not getting any younger you know. She needs to mend her ways and settle down. Do you have any plans of marriage and children?" Breonna asks Gavin and almost has me reaching for my inhaler as my airway seizes in a stress-induced chokehold. Samuel, again, shakes his head and sips his coffee in silence as he watches the train wreck in slow motion.

  "Never thought much about it," Gavin deadpans, causing Breonna to quickly suck in air in shock. In her mind, the American dream should be everyone's goal.

  "Alright, Breonna. Down girl. This is the first time Sor has ever introduced a guy to us and you are already ruining it. Gavin, please excuse my socially inept friend. It is so good of you to join us. Tell me, what is it that you do?" Jade comes to the rescue of Breonna’s skewering.

  "I am head of security for the owner of Tryst."

  "So you two met at work?" Jade politely inquires, and the rest of the table bursts out laughing. She's been so out of the loop. "What's so funny?" Her dirty-blond hair falls carelessly around her as her innocent question stirs the pot and her mismatched eyes narrow in on Gavin.

  "Jade, we didn't meet at work," I guiltily inform her, knowing full and well that we should have had this conversation long ago. Whenever we talk, I try to keep the conversations centered around her and all that she is going through. It felt selfish to bring up any of my drama when her life in its entirety has been on the rocks.

  "They met at that novice night we dragged her to, kicking and screaming, I might add." Samuel chuckles fondly.

  "Oh. Well then." Jade blushes and is pleased when the waiter interrupts us to deliver our food.

  "'Twas fate if you ask me," Gavin joins in.

  "Yeah, she pissed him off by opening her mouth and that is when love must have started to bloom," Ben chirps.

  "Well, aren't you all so informed. I don't seem to recall telling any of you that!" Samuel was the only one who I talked to.

  “Didn't have to. We had a drink and a laugh when the bartender was only too happy to oblige with some of the details of some newbie named L flying off at the mouth to a resident Dom. Then you show up looking well fucked and out of sorts a few days later, it didn't take long to put two and two together. We just never knew who the hot guy was who has been working you up into a tizzy." Ben surmises, quite pleased with his sleuthing skills.

  "I knew going to the club would
be good for you! We all thought so," Molly finally chimes in, and they all exchange a knowing look with Breonna and Samuel.

  "Jayhsus fecking Christ, you all plotted this, didn't you? All worked together as one happy family to get me locked down. Were you in on this too?" I turn to Gavin who is stunned by the accusation, my Irish temper and lilt in full force. This whole meal has me on edge and nothing makes sense.

  "Volunteer to have foul-mouthed lass turn my life upside down? Think again, baby girl," Gavin corrects in his panty-dropping timbre that knocks my heart rate down a notch.

  "Sor, calm down. We didn't plan on anything past getting you exposed and hoping the rest would happen naturally. It's been painfully obvious that you need someone to get you outside of your comfort zone and get you out of that head of yours. What better fit than a dominant?" Samuel pipes up.

  "So glad you all figured my life out for me, thank God that weight is off my shoulders now," I sardonically snip and dig into my pancakes with gusto.

  "Such a brat." Samuel grunts.

  "Not to worry, Samuel. I'll take care of that." Gavin rests his hand on my thigh quite close to my juncture, and squeezes, his unspoken promises loud and clear. I slowly swallow the lump of pancake that had been sitting in my mouth and blush again. Who the hell is this? I don't blush over sexual acts! The others start to giggle.

  "Gavin, I think I speak for us all when I say, welcome to the family and thank goodness you are here." Jade chuckles as she beams at me. “I’ve never seen her like this and I must say, it looks good on her.”