“This isn’t even a fight,” the ogre laughed as he circled me, eyeing me with amusement and as prey instead of an opponent. “This is a death sentence for the poor child.”
I clenched my teeth, keeping a calm face when I was two seconds from losing it. I wasn’t a child. I was just slender, but my height was taller than most women. I looked through the bones to spot Ryan. He wasn’t in his seat and it took a second to find him standing outside the cage with his clawed hands wrapped around the bones that made the cage. His gaze was on mine, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what he might be thinking.
“Come on, Darrian,” the ogre said. “I need a challenge, not a doll to break apart—not that I mind, but I came for a fight.” The crowd laughed at his announcement.
“How about you sit this one out and I’ll give you a better opponent after this one?” Darrian asked the ogre. I hardly ever blushed, but I did feel my entire face flush with anger and embarrassment. It was one thing to fight and lose, but it was a completely different matter when you were ridiculed right in front of people by saying you weren’t worth the fight.
“Sure, I wouldn’t mind watching someone else break her anyway.” The ogre took one last look at me before stepping off the stage.
“Saved you a little less pain, Blue,” Darrian said and I couldn’t help but feel a flare of anger at him for calling me Blue. It only felt right coming from Ryan. Was I dealing with a case of Stockholm syndrome?
“Don’t call her that,” Ryan yelled through the cage at Darrian. His eyes were bright red and murderous. “And I didn’t ask you to make her pain less. I want to see what she’s made of.”
Darrian looked back and forth between us before he held up his hand in defeat and walked across the ring. He brought my new opponent in the ring. He looked normal, but no one was normal down here. He’d show his true colors soon enough. He was a lot smaller than the ogre, but still way bigger than me.
“I’m gonna sink my canines in you, little one,” he said and I suppressed an eye roll. Werewolf.
“To make things more interesting and easier for both opponents,” Darrian said as two men started placing weapons against the cage. “This fight will have weapons. Choose and let the fight begin.”
Once the weapons were hung and they exited the ring, the door was closed leaving me trapped with my opponent. The weapons were my chance, my stomach fluttered with excitement. No, the weapons were my victory. I turned and stepped toward the weapons on my side of the ring. “Don’t worry, I’ll wait,” the werewolf said. “I don’t need anything but my teeth to tear you to shreds.”
I worked best with swords and daggers. They were the only things I ever used and I was happy to see the daggers lined up. I didn’t even hesitate to grab one. Once in my hand, I flipped it around, enjoying the feel of one again before turning around.
“You think I’m going to let you bury that into my flesh while I’m tearing out your neck?” the werewolf asked and everyone enjoyed his jabs at me. “I don’t think—”
The dagger hit its mark, sinking into the werewolf’s forehead. His eyes widened with death as his body fell backwards. The crowd went silent. Clearly, no one was paying attention to the way I held the dagger when I threw it. Maybe most of them weren’t even paying attention just like the werewolf pegged me for an easy kill. I stepped over the dead werewolf and pulled the dagger out of his head. The crowd finally went berserk.
“Well,” Darrian stepped back in the ring. “No one expected that. There wasn’t even a fight,” his tone was disapproving but I didn’t give a shit. “Who wants to see her put up a fight?” The demons roared their answer. Ryan rested his head against the cage, watching me intently. I had to look away, it made me uncomfortable. He left the ring again and three more men entered in his place. I squinted, confused until I realized all three were my opponent. I stepped back to the weapons and grabbed a thin sword and another dagger. I had no place to hold weapons on my body so I was stuck holding both. When I turned around one of the men were in my face, then I was being slung against the weapons that were hung. Pain slithered up and down my body as I fell to the ground. I was hunkered down on my knees, playing the part of being in pain when he bent down to grab me and my sword went into the bottom of his mouth and out the top of his head. One of the others jerked me up by the hair and lifted my hand that held the dagger. He was moving it toward my chest. When I tried to let go of the dagger, he gripped tighter so that I couldn’t. I screamed and gritted my teeth as the dagger sunk into my chest. I couldn’t breathe through the pain. I knew I was about to die but the moment he let go, I bent down and grabbed the dagger I used on the werewolf. He was there to stop me, but instead of him, I aimed at the other opponent who stood and waited. I hit him in the chest and he fell to his knees. So did I.
I sucked in for air. I sucked in for oxygen that never reached until I fell over next.
I was back to life in seconds. My resurrecting process was quicker now that I wasn’t going through hell every hour of the day, but if I died again tonight then it would keep getting slower and slower. I raised up and pulled the dagger from my chest and the crowd started screaming at my opponent. He had his back turned, but he looked back at me with a surprised expression. “So, I didn’t kill you yet?” He smiled.
“Afraid not,” I lied, pulling the sword out of the demon’s head and standing up. He was fast which told me he might be a vampire. He had me pinned against the cage. The thin sword was between us and he continued to press it into me. It took everything I had to keep it from eating my flesh while he wasn’t even trying hard. I closed my eyes and wedged my leg between us. I kicked him in the groin, it created enough pain that I pushed him away. I swung the sword and it sliced his shoulder. He raised his head and released his fangs.
“Why you—” he hissed.
I predicted his move the moment he revealed his fangs. I flipped my sword backward and aimed it over my shoulder just as he moved behind me. The blade was in his mouth before his fangs could reach my neck. I pushed it further down his neck until it reached his heart then let go of the sword and his body blew out into nothing. I bent over to catch my breath.
The crowd that once laughed at me was now starting to scream for Blue. Darrian was back in the ring. “I think we have a winner,” he announced and the demons only grew louder. “What do you say? Want to see if the next demon can take her life?”
They answered with enthusiasm, but Ryan’s voice was heard, “She’s done for the night.”
Darrian’s eyes lit up. “Does that mean you’ll bring her back tomorrow night?”
Ryan observed me. “Sure,” he answered, and I closed my eyes. “Put me up next.” I reopened them and met his gaze, dumbfounded. Darrian was happy to hear that.
The ogre stepped in and walked to me. “I’ll show you what a real fight looks like,” he said with a wink, then he laughed and his whole green belly jiggled with it. I looked away disgusted. Ryan stepped in next and the crowd was a lot crazier now.
“Since Fear’s immortal, all you have to do is kill him once and you’ll be the victor,” Darrian told the ogre with a look of pity. “If he kills you… then you know how it goes.”
“Quiet,” the ogre shook his head. “Immortal chum will be the one losing tonight.” Darrian shook his head and motioned for me to exit the ring with him. I started walking when Ryan grabbed my wrist.
“No good luck kiss?” he asked. I wanted to kiss him, but not when he looked like Fear.
“Like you need it,” I said out of annoyance, but I hadn’t expected it to sound like a compliment or that if I was betting, it would be on him. I tried to wrench my wrist free and looked away from him. Then his hand was wrapped around my waist and he spun me around. I was pressed against his chest and on instinct, I pushed away but his claws dug into my back. I hissed and finally looked up.
That was when he kissed me. Painfully. Brutally. I refused to give him access inside my mouth, so his hand found my ass and gripped hard
. His claws were awfully close to nipping my skin if not already. I gave in and opened my mouth to bite his bottom lip. His blood flooded my mouth and he groaned—the sound brought my lust back to the surface from earlier. I let him invade my mouth with his tongue. And that was enough for him because he released me the second he tasted me.
“Do you want me to draw out his suffering or end him quickly?” he asked, and what an odd question to ask after kissing someone…
“I don’t care what you do,” I told him. His eyes searched my face before releasing me. The game we’ve been playing since our encounter was a dangerous one, so why did my chest feel like it had been dipped into a bowl of bliss? Maybe I wasn’t much different than Fear. I had my own crazy needs… Needs I didn’t even know I had until meeting Ryan.
I walked out and the fight started and ended quickly. Ryan gave him a quick death with his tail. The women were going crazy for him. Which was weird considering he was in Fear’s form, yet their panting after him made me restless.
My name was whispered that night during Ryan’s fight. I couldn’t read Timber’s expression as he walked away without another word.
Chapter Eleven
Ryan
To hurt her or not to.
To fuck her or not to.
To give Fear what we both wanted or not.
I was playing a dangerous game with Fear when it came to Blue. She was impressive, dammit. Even in the fights, she held her own. Even when her dress was riding up her legs as she fought… I found her cute with her I’d-fuck-you-over-in-your-sleep-if-you’d-let-me glares, and she was hardly intimidated by me.
When I kissed her in the caged ring, it had been because I was caving. I wanted her. I liked her cool, moody personality. Not Fear. He was silent tonight, completely satisfied because I fed on Blue alone tonight, even though she wouldn’t know. But Blue had many secrets and a name she had yet to give me. Someone had recognized her there. A werewolf and the stench radiating off him was enough to let me know she had been involved with him in some way. He had been surprised yet happy to see her. I was constantly reading his emotions the entire time. I was tempted to go to him and get the answers I wanted about Blue… But I wanted to hear it from her. I knew how women worked. If they spilled their past to you then you were weaseling your way into their mind.
I wanted to stitch myself all through her.
When we ported back to my place, she slipped off her heels and headed through the hallway. She’d been quiet since the kiss. Maybe I shouldn’t have kissed her after throwing her into a fight? It was shitty, but I wasn’t a good guy. I was merged with a monster that liked when I hurt her, burned in desire when I kissed her and melted every time her body perfumed her desire for me. I was in danger of losing myself to Fear with Blue around, but maybe Fear hadn’t realized yet… the obsession he had for her could bring him to his knees.
“You were pretty impressive,” I said, breaking the silence with the need to talk to her before she left me in the living room alone. She turned her head slightly to look back at me. “Earlier,” I added.
“I refuse the compliment since you were the one that stuck me in there to begin with.”
I grinned. “You act like you keep expecting me to be good.” I placed my hands in my pockets. “I was once, but I’m not anymore, and I never will be.”
She placed her hand against the wall. “I never asked you to be good, Ryan.” My name on her lips sounded tempting—valued. “It would be nice to have a choice in what happens to me, though,” she sighed and closed her eyes. “I never expected being here would be the most comfortable I’ve felt in well… ever. Maybe I’m just as screwed up as Fear and that scares me.”
I rubbed my hand across my chin and watched her in the hall. “I would be offended if I gave a shit,” I told her, yet the sound in her voice had me wanting to know why she thought she was no different. “What makes you say that?”
“Because I want to be free.” I gave her a puzzled look. She smiled at me and something stirred in my chest that scared the shit out of me. “Molly,” she whispered.
“What?”
“Molly,” she said again. “My name.” She waited there forever to see my reaction until she finally shook her head and slipped into the bathroom.
In the depths of my memory, the name tugged, but I came up empty—or maybe I wouldn’t let myself remember.
____
I awoke to the presence of someone standing over me. My first thought was it had to be Blue—should I call her Molly now? I was grinning until I opened my eyes and saw it was Killian peering down at me.
“Having a nice dream?” he asked before grabbing me by the shoulder and forcing me out of bed.
“What the fuck?” I croaked, voice still full of sleep.
“Rise and shine,” he said. With his hand still on my shoulder, he faded us out of my bedroom into his giant ballroom. I jerked my shoulder and glared.
“Mind telling me why you disturbed my sleep and stole me from my house?” I asked, and he chuckled.
“Because we thought it was a good idea to fill you in on what we’ve been doing.” Melanie stepped out of the double door between the stairways.
I scratched my head and sighed. “I don’t care who you are sending to the Devil unless I’m the one that gets to kill him.”
Melanie lifted her brows and smirked. “No, that’s not it.” She was excited, pleased about something… it was bursting from her skin. “Ryan, we think we’ve found where he keeps the good demons that couldn’t cross into Heaven before my existence changed that after dying.”
“Huh?”
She groaned. “Didn’t you tell him we’ve been searching for them?” she asked Killian.
“I did, but clearly he’s forgotten,” Killian replied, studying me. “He was a little wired that week with Fear, so maybe that’s why.”
“Just explain,” I groaned, deciding that I didn’t care either way.
“Penny, Ryan, Penny!” Melanie yelled and Penny’s name gained my attention and I looked back up. “And Lincoln and every other demon that deserves an afterlife, if we can find them then we can send them somewhere better.” This was Melanie, full of hope and determination to save others. Her nasty side was just as eager when it came to taking care of the bad guys, like me. Her and Grim knew how to balance their good and evil, but not me. Never me.
“That sounds amazing,” I told her and her smile was so bright. “If I believed you could find them.” Her smiled vanished and her blue eyes studied me closely.
“We will find them, in fact, the place we’re going to might be where they’re at.”
“That’s why we brought you here. We are leaving right now and wanted to see if you wanted to come with us,” Killian said, hooking his arm around Melanie’s shoulder. She was smiling again, hopeful, as she waited for my reply.
“Believe I’ll stay behind,” I said quickly, taking several steps back casually.
“Ryan…” Melanie whispered.
“I don’t save people,” I told them, “you both know that. I don’t even want to save anyone. I’ve been Fear for a thousand years now, and I only wished I was just saying that but it’s the truth.”
“Deep down, you’re the same guy,” she told me. “You’ve just got lost somewhere along the way trying to please Fear.”
I shook my head. “I have two demons and one of them has nothing to do with Fear.”
I left. It took a few hours to walk through the woods to get back to my place. I had no portal chip on me and wasn’t going to ask Killian to fade me back. I even refused River when he offered his back for me to ride. I’d rather walk and sort out my thoughts. It was hard to be around them the moments they shined so much brighter than me. I didn’t kill innocent or good things. I stayed far away from them and instead, took from evil. That part of me I knew was still good, but I had a twisted sense of needs that required pain from others, even my own. Take Blue/Molly for example. All I could think about was breaking her, but then I
feared what would become of her once I did.
I opened the door and stepped in the house, Molly jumped from the couch when I entered like she had been anxiously awaiting me. I picked up her emotions… worry, relief, and happiness? She was happy to see me? My eyes fell on her bare legs as my shirt dropped down around her hips when she stood. She tugged on it, obviously aware I was staring. I needed to get her some clothes—her own instead of someone else’s. “What happened? I heard you—”
“I had a visit from Grim.” Her mouth did a small O and nodded like that explained everything. She placed her hands together and watched me like she was waiting on me to do something or say anything.
I ran my hand against the back of my neck and asked, “Do you want some clothes to wear?” I didn’t know why the hell I asked and obviously, she didn’t either because the air around her completely changed. Never once had I seen her flustered until that moment. She was full of awkward movements and gestures as she gawked at me. “What?” She shook her head violently. “I don’t—”
“You can’t keep wearing my clothes when they swallow you whole,” I told her, nodding. “Come on, Blue—Molly,” I paused, “I think I’ll stick with Blue.”
She stood there still gawking until her lips curved into a small smile. “O-kay.”
After she put on another pair of my jogging pants and slipped on the filthy boots she came here in, we ported to the City of the Dead. We went in one store after the other, often ending up in stores that had no clothes and a bunch of crazy shit that had Molly’s eyes lighting up in amusement that I couldn’t help but respond to.
Everything she picked out was dark colors and she stuck with pants. While she got the clothes she liked, I tossed in the dresses I knew she’d look good in. When it came to underwear, she chose plainly in that category too, so it was left to me to toss all the lacey shit that would look hot on her on the counter for the hairy demon to checkout. She made no comment about what I threw in the mix, but the scent of her desire filled my senses and had my eyes wanting to roll back it smelled so good.
Falling For Fear (A Grim Awakening Book 4) Page 8
