Rising (Vincent and Eve Book 1)

by Jessica Ruben

  CHAPTER 16

  I’ve gone back and forth a million times in my head over it, but I think that it’s probably best this way. If he wanted to reach out to me, he would have. He has my number.

  On a daily basis, my mind goes through something like this:

  “He killed, or almost killed, someone in my honor. What am I supposed to do, call him and thank him?”

  “Holy shit—Vincent is a killer! I can’t be friends with a killer!”

  “I’m being crazy. Vincent is amazing. Vincent is perfect for me.”

  “No—a man like Vincent isn’t perfect for me. He’s dangerous, and I have plans for myself. Big plans, including college and grad school and a big job!”

  “But if not for Vincent, I might have been killed by now. Or raped. Or who knows. The man saved my life. And more than anything…I miss him.”

  “I’ve never had anyone in my life understand me bone-deep like that. I know I’m young, but something tells me that he is IT. He is the one. I’m trying to ignore the nagging feeling that Vincent is love, but it won’t stop knocking on my heart.”

  I drop my head in my hands, sick of my thoughts. I need to focus right now on finishing off my year well and praying on getting into college. My phone chimes, shaking me out of my obsessing. I check the text and see it’s Ms. Levine asking me to call her. When I get her on the phone, she tells me to come over—she has good news for me!

  Right before I can head out, my mom struts into the apartment, teetering and swaying on high heels.

  “Well, if it isn’t my second daughter,” she slurs. Her makeup is smeared and the blond highlights in her hair have grown out, leaving a limp brown line at her roots. For a woman who is obsessed with appearances, I’m shocked she looks so unkempt. She steps closer to me, her voice lowering as if she wants to tell me a secret. “I haven’t seen you in quite some time, huh? You’re not avoiding me, right?”

  “No. I guess our schedules have just been—”

  “Don’t talk back to me!” She screams. I instantly drop my head, knowing that when she’s at this point in her mental state, nothing but silence will do.

  Her breaths shortens, and she starts huffing. “One of the girls at the club told me that she heard from Angelo that you applied to college!” She starts to laugh as if it’s a big joke. “I told her that there is no goddamned way you did. You wouldn’t go against my wishes, would you, Eve?” She steps closer to me as I move backward to avoid her. “My own daughter. My own flesh and blood wouldn’t do that to me, right? Not when you know that we need you to work full time. Not when you know that we need the money!” Her voice is shrill and I can feel my heart pick up its pace. “…Not when you know that you should have dropped out of school years ago!” she says with a scream.

  Before I think about what I should say, the words come tumbling out of my mouth. “Mom, you’re wrong. It’s only a few more years of time. And imagine the job I could get! So much more money!”

  “WHAT?” Her shriek can probably be heard around the entire floor. “I’ll kill you! I brought you into the world and I have every right to take you out of it! I owe people money and I need you to bring some in for me!”

  I blink hard, understanding finally dawning on me. At the end of the day, my mom is a selfish and jealous woman who has absolutely zero care about me; all she knows is what she wants. After everything that’s happened in my eighteen years of life, I simply can’t let her hold me down anymore. I just can’t keep hoping that one day she’ll change. It’s enough already! Somehow, the truth after all these years becomes obvious. If I want to move on out of the Blue Houses, I’ve got to move on from her. I need to stop hoping and wishing that she’ll eventually become a real mother to me and just focus on my own path. She’s not on my side and she never will be.

  She raises her hand to hit me and I duck, running out the apartment door. She turns around, yelling, “EVE! YOU GET FUCKING BACK HERE!” Her voice is a high-pitched screech. Instead of stopping, I open up the stairwell and go flying down the steps.

  Before I get to the first floor, I see George in a corner with his usual bottle of whiskey. “Hey, Eve. In a rush?” I stop myself, breathing heavy, but manage to put my hand in my purse to pull out a dollar bill.

  “I hear you’re going to college,” he says as he takes the dollar, the unmistakable shine of pride in his eyes.

  “Yeah, I hope so. I’m waiting to hear back.” I shrug, still catching my breath and looking up the steps, trying to hear if my mother is following me down.

  “Don’t give up, okay? Irina… don’t listen to her. You’re going to go places. I know it. Knew it since you were a little kid.” I nod my head, surprised by his comment.

  His voice is scratchy. “Hurry. If she comes down here, I’ll tell her I didn’t see you,” he says with a wink.

  I can’t help the smile that forms on my face. “Thanks, George. I’ll see you soon, okay?” I leave the Blue Houses and jog to the subway.

  I jump on the train uptown, heart thudding. Twenty minutes later, I get into Ms. Levine’s building and race to the elevators, ignoring the door attendant calling out to me. When I get to her floor, I rush to her door and knock hard. She opens up and engulfs me in her arms.

  “Columbia accepted you! You’re in!” We both jump together, embracing. I do a happy dance, my arms up in the air.

  “Come in!” She pushes some forms toward me as I step into her foyer. “Full scholarship! Grants to cover living expenses and books! Get these signed by your mom...” She hands me pages of documents and winks, walking to the bathroom. I take my shoes off, leaving them by the door. Sitting at her dining table, I pull a pen out of my bag and quickly sign where necessary, forging my mom’s signature without blinking an eye. At this point, nothing would stop me from accepting admission.

  A few minutes later, she walks back into the room. “You wouldn’t believe this, Ms. Levine, but while you were in the bathroom, my mom came over. Signed all these documents. Then ran out!”

  She shakes her head and chuckles at me, but takes the forms nonetheless.

  A sense of relief comes over me as I realize I’m finally taking my life into my own hands. Before I can enjoy the feeling, a deep sense of anxiety settles into my chest. The truth is, I’m worried. What if I don’t fit in? What if I get there and can’t handle the workload? I peer at my loose, holey jeans and large shirt from Goodwill. I’m obviously going to have to put a mask on in order to blend into this school. Or maybe, I’ll have to take off my mask? I’ve been covering up for so long, I’m not even really sure who the “real me” is anymore.

  “Ms. Levine, I want you to know how thankful I am for everything you’ve done for me.” I tuck my feet under my butt, and she seems to immediately sense my discomfort.

  “Of course! But what’s wrong?” She squints, tilting her head to the side and sitting beside me.

  I lick my lips, clasping my hands together. I know I should confide in her. She is, after all, the only person I know who has ever even been to college. “What if I don’t belong there?” I ask. She gives me a half smile as if she was waiting for me to bring this up. “I know that I live in the city with all different kinds of people. But these kids have never been inside a classroom that makes them nervous for their lives. I know that most of them will come from the best prep schools. They can barely fathom the concept of their lives being up for grabs.”

  “Yes,” she says, clicking her tongue. “They are quite different from what you’re used to. But you have this opportunity, and I want you to take advantage of it. I don’t want you to shrink back. When you’re there, shed the fear and insecurity, and put on confidence. As I always say, turn the fear you harbor into resilience and make it all count. You deserve this opportunity, Eve. More than anyone else, you deserve this.”

  Self-doubt continues to plague me, despite her confidence in me.

  She grabs my hand, forcing me to face her. “You’ll have to stop wearing hats and your hood over your head.
You can start to wear clothes that are more fitting for a girl. You’re stunning, Eve. And it’s not easy for you to hide. Think of it this way. When you get to Columbia, you don’t have to try to hide yourself. You can be the gorgeous and intelligent girl you actually are! I want you to finally be free. Sure, some of those kids will be assholes. But that’s part of life, right?”

  I think about Vincent for a moment and his upper-crust life. Tears threaten, but I hold them back and focus on what’s in front of me. Columbia. Maybe one day, after I graduate, I’ll be able to, with confidence, look a man like Vincent in the eye and feel deserving of his time.

  I still haven’t told Janelle anything about Vincent. Maybe I should tell Ms. Levine. Not everything, but just some parts. I feel lost after what happened with him, and I’m still unsure why things turned out the way they did.

  “Actually, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about. There’s kind of been a guy. But he’s sort of ghosted out on me. And I’m not really sure what to do about it...”

  “Okay,” she says anxiously. “Go on.”

  I give her the general details of what happened, nothing sexual or detailed about Carlos, either, and ask her what she thinks.

  She stares at me apprehensively. “Something sounds a little fishy about this whole thing, Eve. You’ve looked him up, right?”

  I click my tongue for a second. “Uh, no, I haven’t.” I turn my head to the side, attempting to avoid her intelligent gaze.

  “Eve,” she snaps. “You gotta get on a computer and check him out. Is he on Facebook? How can you just go off with him? You met him at some underground fight, got into his car, let him take you out to eat, and you don’t even know his last name?” Her voice is skeptical as if she can’t believe my naiveté.

  I swallow. “Yeah, okay, I’ll look him up.” The moment the words leave my mouth, I realize that I don’t want to know more about him. I’m afraid to uncover something that I won’t like. I just want to stay in this little bubble I’ve created for myself. There’s definitely something different about Vincent. But then again, I’m used to seeing aggressive men. Plus, he’s obviously rich. That’s all it is, right? Okay sure, so he almost killed someone on my behalf. But he’s a fighter. He did it to help me. He isn’t connected to anyone or anything. Well, at least I think he isn’t. His family is in business.

  She takes my hands in hers. “You must be careful, Eve. Don’t bury your head in the sand. I’m glad he’s been decent to you so far, but even the fact that he just comes and goes of his own accord—randomly working out near your pawnshop—nothing is near that pawnshop! Drives this fancy car? Something smells wrong here. He’s got gang written all over him.” Her voice is apprehensive.

  I take my hands out from hers feeling agitated by her questions. “There’s no way he’s gang affiliated. He’s too rich and powerful for that.”

  “Eve, we both know that not all gangs are roaming the streets. Maybe he’s a dealer?” I think for a moment, but Vincent is too sophisticated for that.

  “Well, I know him now. Maybe not his blood type or his last name, but I’ve spent a lot of time with him and he’s been nothing but respectful. He isn’t like the other gang guys I know. Or even dealers.” I shake my head vehemently. “Not at all.”

  I imagine the gangbangers I know from the Snakes and the Cartel. At heart, those guys are chaos. Disorganized. Street smart. Book stupid. Vincent is nothing like them. Nothing at all.

  When Ms. Levine sees my mind operating, she lets out a breath and gets up, pulling out an old laptop of hers. “Eve, promise me that you’ll go home and look him up. I want you to keep this computer for school anyway, okay? Now that you have this, you don’t have any excuse not to know.”

  I hug her tight. “Thank you for everything.”

  “You make me so proud, Eve. Truly. Now, get your stuff together! Summer classes start in June, right after graduation!”

  After lots of hugs, I get on the subway and head downtown. Walking through my front door, I go straight into my bathroom and look in the mirror. Pushing thoughts of Vincent out of my head for the millionth time, I tell myself that my life is about to change for the better. I can’t wipe the smile off my face when I realize I’m starting Columbia. Ahhh!

  I turn my head for a moment, staring at the computer Ms. Levine gave me. I decide that I don’t want to look him up. I’m not ready to learn anything more than I already know. And really, who knows if I’ll ever even see him again. He hasn’t reached out to me, and I’m too chicken to text him again. So, it doesn’t matter who he is or isn’t, right?

  I swallow back my sadness, realizing I’m hung up on a guy who hasn’t been in touch with me for weeks. A guy whose last name I don’t even know. A guy who is technically a killer. I hope he doesn’t go to jail for this. Oh my God. How could I not even have considered the legal implications of what Vincent did? If it gets back to the cops that he killed Carlos, he could go to jail. Or even worse, maybe the Snakes are going to try to retaliate against him! I blink hard a few times and try to breathe. Should I warn him? I told him all about Carlos and the Snakes and he didn’t seem surprised at all. He’s also not stupid. He must have considered the ramifications of what he did, right?

  Luckily, Janelle comes home and my mind is instantly occupied with good thoughts. We celebrate my admission by ordering Domino’s thin-crust pizza and cheesy bread and dancing to Drake.

  Eventually, she lowers the music and we drop onto the couch. I turn to her. “What the hell are we going to tell Mom about school?”

  “Ugh, who cares?” Janelle says nonchalantly, throwing her bare feet up onto the coffee table with a smile on her face. “She’s hardly home, anyway. We’ll tell her you’ve got a new boyfriend and you’re staying with him. Since you’ve got grants and scholarships covering everything, there shouldn’t be a money trail.” Janelle does an evil-sounding laugh and I join in, as if we’re conspiring to take over the world. And maybe in some ways, we are. Moments later, we erupt into genuine laughter, feeling high over the fact that college is now no longer a pipe dream, but an actuality.

  CHAPTER 17

  The school year goes on uneventfully, finally ending in a blur of standardized testing and Advanced Placement exams. I am the valedictorian, and I make a simple speech at the graduation ceremony about perseverance and never giving up in life, no matter the odds. While I’m embarrassed to speak in public, I’m surprised the amount of pride I feel standing up there. It may only be the old gymnasium in my high school, but getting to this point means something to me. When I’m finished, the audience and other students clap politely while Janelle screams like crazy. With a red face, I walk away from the podium and take my seat. It’s hot as hell in here; the air conditioning must be broken. I press the long blue gown to my chest, trying to soak up the sweat.

  I turn to the students next to me when it finally dawns on me that hardly anyone I started with during my freshman year is sitting with me now. Out of two hundred and fifty students from my freshman class, it looks like only about one hundred kids are graduating. I guess the rest all dropped out or got their GED certificates. I know that technically, I saw it all unfold. I mean, I lived it. I watched as boys who were my friends as children grew up and joined gangs. I don’t believe they were looking for bloodshed, at least, not at first. They just wanted to belong. Understandably, they looked for protection on the street and some respect from their peers. Isn’t that all it is? Can I fault them for that?

  I look out into the audience, seeing some Blue House families gathered together with pride. Janelle’s face stands out among them all; she’s staring at me, glowing with joy. It hurts me that she never got to graduate, but at the same time, I know I’m doing this for both of us. The reality is—without her support, I never could have made it to this point. I drop my head for a moment and say a little prayer to God, thanking Him for giving me my sister. As usual, Vincent’s face comes into my head. I drop a line of thanks for him too. Because without him, I’d p
robably be dead by now. He may have only popped into my life for a short period of time, but damn did he manage to come at just the time I needed him most.

  When the graduation is over, Ms. Levine takes Janelle and me out for a surprise celebration lunch. We drive down into the Flatiron district and I see the restaurant. My throat tightens. We’re at Eataly, where Vincent picked up sandwiches for us all those months ago while we skated in Central Park. I walk inside, trying to keep cool as fancy-looking people walk with baskets full of fresh fettuccini and gelato. I see a line of people waiting for fresh cannoli. The entire place is like a vibrant marketplace straight out of my dreams.

  I thought I was doing okay without hearing from him, that I could just take his help with Carlos and all the emotions he brought out of me and box them up in a quiet part of my brain. But the moment I see those special sandwiches on display, I have to swallow back my tears.

  Ms. Levine seems to notice my distress. “Don’t you like it here? The restaurant is just around the corner over there.” She points to a perfect spot that is roped off: Riso e Risoto. “I thought you would...” Her voice trails off as her face scrunches up as if I’ve upset her.

  Janelle looks at me, confused. This is one of the coolest restaurants right now, and I know that I’m so lucky to be here. They’re probably sensing my unease and imagine me to be ungrateful. Meanwhile, nothing could be further from the truth.

  I shake my head, needing to say something to let them know how thankful I am. “No. I absolutely love it. I-I can’t thank you enough for bringing me here. I guess I’m just nervous for college to begin.” I shrug.

  She clicks her tongue, draping an arm around me in a motherly gesture. We walk into the restaurant where a beautiful and young hostess immediately seats us.

  “Don’t worry, Eve.” We take our seats. “You should be excited! Everyone is nervous at first, but just wait until it all begins!”

  While we all scan our menus, the waiter takes our drink orders. We chat about move-in dates and signing up for classes. I already got my room assignment, and apparently, I’m living with a girl from Texas.