Underestimated

by Jettie Woodruff

  “Bring your hands back and open yourself for me,” he requested.

  What the hell?

  I did as I was told and spread my ass cheeks with my hands. He ran his fingers up my wet folds and to my anus. I wanted to moan, but didn’t dare. I didn’t know if I was allowed to do that.

  “You want my finger in here, don’t you?” he asked as he traced my entrance.

  Fuck no…

  “Yes,” I answered with the answer that I knew he wanted.

  I heard him laugh a little. “Tell me what you want.”

  Oh God.

  “I want you to put your finger in my ass,” I replied, with my eyes already tightly closed, waiting for the intrusion.

  “Relax your muscles,” he demanded as I felt his finger trying to gain access.

  How the hell am I supposed to do that? You have your stupid finger in there.

  I lay there totally exposed and under Drew’s control, thrusting his finger in and out of my rectum. It wasn’t bad after a bit, and I was just waiting for it to be over. He moved his erect penis to my clit and began pushing and circling, causing a building deep in my core to initiate. I moaned and pressed myself back toward him, wanting more compression on my swollen essence.

  “Don’t come,” he whispered to my hair.

  What the fuck?

  Thank God he had other plans for me, and eased up.

  “Are you ready to have your pussy fucked?”

  Do I have a choice?

  “Yes,” I again said what I knew I was supposed to say.

  “Tell me.”

  Really dude? Your hang-ups are starting to give me whiplash.

  “I want you to fuck my pussy, Drew.”

  “Go to your bed and spread your legs.”

  I couldn’t help but moan a little when he withdrew his finger from my anus. I did what I was told and lay across my bed, spread eagle as I watched him undress. My heart had started to pound out of my chest at the anticipation. I was trying to talk myself calm, reminding myself that it couldn’t hurt any worse than the imposition on my butt.

  He walked toward me and grabbed both my legs, pulling me closer to the edge.

  “You ready for my dick to be in your pussy?” he asked, not looking at me, but only my wide-open sex.

  “Yes,” I answered in a deep breath.

  I screamed and backed up at least a foot when he wasn’t gentle at all. I felt the give and the pain that came with the forced diffusion that was almost excruciating. He didn’t care and pulled my legs back toward him. He didn’t have to tell me not to come. I didn’t want to come. I just wanted him to hurry up and spew out so that he would get off of me and leave my room. He took no compassion whatsoever as he pounded in and out of me. Finally, when I could tell that he was getting close I started to relax. He pulled me up and to the floor, and I knew that I was expected to take him in my mouth.

  I didn’t try to keep my mouth shut. I didn’t turn away, and I didn’t try to take him in the back of my throat. I knew what I was supposed to do and I parted my lips, awaiting his flow. He must have lost the drive because he didn’t come right away, and pushed me back to the bed. He entered me again, thrusting frantically in and out of me and did the same thing when he was ready. I dropped to my knees and took his essence into my mouth as he rubbed it around my lips and tongue with the head of his dick.

  “Go clean up,” he demanded.

  I went to the bathroom and dropped to the floor and cried. I knew he would see it on camera the next day, but I couldn’t help it. I felt so violated and used. Once I had regained my composure and cleaned up the blood I went back to my bed, ready to sleep and be rid of him until the next time.

  He was in my bed, and I stopped dead in my tracks. I didn’t want him there. He patted the other side of the bed, and I got in. I stayed on the far side of the king size bed, and he never touched me. We slept in the same bed, worlds apart. He did wake me early before leaving for work and made me have sex with him again. He again did the same thing, as he seemed to always do. As soon as he was close, he pulled himself to his knees and released in my mouth. Once again, I wasn’t allowed to come.

  Chapter 6

  “Riley!”

  I didn’t realize that Dawson was not on the bed with me anymore. Nor did I comprehend that I was touching myself or crying.

  I sat up in one frantic motion. He sat on the edge of the bed and stared at me with an expression of revulsion.

  “Are you okay?”

  “What did I say?” I asked, but wasn’t sure I wanted to know. I was more humiliated than I may have been in my life.

  “It doesn’t matter,” he tried.

  “It does matter, Dawson. Please tell me what I said.”

  He ran his fingers through his short hair, and I had to coax him again to tell me.

  “You wanted me to spank you. You wanted me to stick my finger in your ass, and you said you needed me to fuck your pussy,” he told me the things that I would say to Drew, unable to look at me while he did.

  “I warned you. I told you I was fucked up,” I knew that he was seconds away from storming out of my house and my life, which was fine by me. I should have known a normal relationship wasn’t plausible for me.

  “Why, Ry?”

  I rolled over and lay back down, facing away from him. “You’re off the hook, Dawson. You can go.”

  I was surprised when I felt him snuggle up to me and wrap me in his arms. He kissed my hair.

  “I don’t want to be off the hook. You invited me to spend the night.”

  I smiled, not used to the affection, but relished being in his arms. He never tried to finish what I had started and we fell asleep in each other’s arms. I woke at the beginning of a nightmare, glad that I roused before I said anything else that would make him think I was crazy, not that I wasn’t. I slid out of bed and walked out to the kitchen and onto the deck.

  I didn’t hear him walk behind me because I had left the door open. I am not sure what I was thinking at the time or even if I was thinking. As soon as he spoke, asking me if I was okay, I jumped, startled. I turned to look at him and could only see his black silhouette in the night. I covered my face with my arm as he stepped closer to me.

  “Ry?” he quietly said, stopping in his tracks.

  I moved my arm and breathed a sigh of relief when I realized where I was or who he was.

  “I’m sorry, Dawson,” I spoke.

  He held me in his arms, and I wanted to cry. Nobody had ever held me. Nobody had ever cared. I didn’t know how to be with someone who cared.

  “What the hell happened to you?” he asked, rubbing my back in a comforting fashion.

  I couldn’t tell him anything. I couldn’t tell him how I was raised in the poorest parts of West Virginia by two parents that should have never had kids. I couldn’t tell him that my dad had sold me to a rich twisted sex pervert. I could never tell him anything about my past.

  “Let’s go back to bed,” I said, pulling away from him, taking his hand to follow me.

  He pulled me close to him and I lay in his arms. I felt soothed and calm nestled close to his chest. I had never laid in Drew’s arms like that. If he did spend the night in my bed, it was because he was planning on taking care of his sick needs again before morning. I had never stayed in his bed at all and only had sex in his bed a handful of times.

  The dream that I had woken from earlier in the night returned. I was back in the trailer, and it was once again winter. My mom was working the nightshift at the truck stop. My dad was, of course, at the bar. I was fifteen and Justin was three. I told him to sit on the couch and not move while I went out to get wood. He decided that he was going to help and opened the wood burner door with his bare hand. I dropped the armful of wood and ran into the house toward his terrifying screams. The skin on his hand was dripping off onto the floor. I didn’t know what to do. We didn’t have a phone, and the only place I knew to go was about a half a mile down the road to my Grandma Joyce’s. I was afr
aid to go there too. She was sick, and my dad warned me to leave her alone and not bug her.

  I picked him up and ran his little hand under cold water. He screamed to the top of his lungs. The only kind of salve that I could find was Vaseline that I had found beside my parent’s bed. I rubbed the greasy ointment on his hand and wrapped the burn with a torn white sheet. I didn’t know much, but I knew enough to know that he needed to go to the doctor.

  I was sitting on the couch when both my parents came home together, drunk. I was rocking him back and forth as he slept in my arms sucking in short puffs of air from all the crying.

  “I thought you had to work,” I scolded my mother. I was there taking care of her kid while she was out getting drunk.

  “What happened to him?” she asked, ignoring my statement.

  “He touched the wood burner,” I said.

  “Stupid kid,” my dad said and grabbed the container of Vaseline from the stand. “We might need this,” he said, pulling my mom back toward their room, laughing.

  “He needs to go to the doctor,” I yelled.

  “I’m sure he’s fine. I’ll look at it tomorrow,” my mother said without a care one about her son hurting at all.

  I carried Justin to bed with me and held his little body close as he whimpered the entire night.

  Dawson sat up in bed. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry, Justin,” I called over and over.

  “Riley,” Dawson said, softly, four times before I hysterically sat up in bed.

  “Shhhh,” he said, pulling me back into his arms. “You’re okay, you’re right here with me,” he whispered to my hair. He pulled me tight, wishing I would tell him what I had lived through, or anything that told him why I was like I was.

  “Who’s Justin?” he asked, kissing the back of my head.

  “My little brother,” I answered, sadly with a heavy heart.

  “Where is he?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “How old is Justin,” Dawson asked, trying to keep me talking.

  “He was only five the last time that I saw him, but he is twelve now.”

  “Why haven’t you been able to see him?”

  “Children services took him away,” I replied, gloomily.

  “In West Virginia?”

  I sat up and looked at him.

  “I didn’t say anything about West Virginia,” I demanded.

  “You said it in your sleep. Come here. I am not your enemy, Ry.”

  I lay back down, and was glad that he stopped with the questions.

  What else did I say?

  We dozed off for the third time that night. I was sound asleep when Dawson woke me by kissing my sleeping lips. I always slept the best in the morning. My nights seemed to be full of demons that kept me awake until the exhaustion took over early in the morning.

  “Good morning, beautiful,” he said, and I had to smile. Him calling me beautiful had an entirely different meaning behind it than when I heard it from Drew. When Drew gave me compliments it was always in the bedroom, usually when he was close to shooting his load.

  “You mean I didn’t scare you away last night?” I asked as he kissed my lips again.

  “Not a chance,” he smiled.

  ***

  Things were going extremely well. I couldn’t believe that my new life was working out. I may have just pulled off the biggest disappearing act in history. Dawson continued to come around, and we spent a lot of time together. He spent the night on several occasions, but neither of us tried to go that next step. He did a lot of comforting during my long nights when he was there, and tried to get me to talk to him. I didn’t, and didn’t plan on ever revealing my dark skeletons to him or anyone else.

  Summer Fest was extremely busy at the shop. I was happy that we were closing at four rather than six, and were planning to join in the festivities. Lauren was singing on stage, and she and Levi were D-Jing for the street fair later that evening.

  Dawson stopped by in uniform around three. I thought that he seemed preoccupied but assumed that he had probably had a pretty busy day himself with all of the commotion going on in town. He told me that he was going to go home and change, and he would meet me back there. I told him I was going home to get a shower and change as well, and I would just find him in the streets somewhere.

  I wore a long skirt and tank-top with psychedelic sandals that I had ordered from one of our suppliers. I wore my hair down for once and was excited to spend the evening with Dawson, Lauren, Star, Joel, and even Levi.

  Dawson was already there and wearing khaki shorts with a nice red shirt and brown leather flip-flops. He stood from the picnic table and kissed my cheek.

  “You look very pretty,” he offered, causing me to smile. He always made me smile.

  I was in such a happy mood and laughed at Starlight being the center of attention, dancing in the street all by herself. She had tried to get any and every one to go with her, and when nobody would, she went alone. It was only a matter of time before more and more people had joined her, all waiting for someone to do it first. Lauren and Levi were hilarious on stage and argued back and forth about funny issues. I was laughing at them talking about how Lauren steals his food at work when I looked across the table to Dawson. He was staring intently at me with a serious expression.

  “Are you okay? You have been kind of out of it all day,” I asked.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Do you want to dance?” he asked. I smiled and gave him a peculiar look.

  “I am not sure I can dance to this music,” I admitted. I could dance. I loved my dance classes in Las Vegas. I just didn’t think that Ballroom Dancing would correspond with the country music.

  “You need to dance the waltz or something?” he teased.

  “Something like that,” I laughed.

  I wondered what he was doing when he walked up to Levi and whispered in his ear. Levi smiled and nodded his head. Dawson came back with a smile and took my hand.

  “What are you doing, sheriff?” I asked, taking his hand.

  He didn’t reply, and Levi came across the speakers, saying he had a request for some ballroom dancing. Some song called the Tennessee Waltz started playing, and I laughed.

  “That was as close as he had,” Dawson smiled down at me.

  It was close enough to a slow song that would allow me to be in his arms as we danced across the blacktop dance floor.

  “You seem to be a little distracted today,” I said, looking up to him.

  “I guess, I kind of am, but we’ll talk about it later,” he smiled down at me and kissed the end of my nose.

  “Talk about what?” I asked curious as to what could be on his mind.

  “We’ll talk about it later,” he smiled a reassuring smile.

  We sat at the table and watched the people dancing. I too was distracted, wondering what Dawson could want to talk about. I stared blankly toward the dancers as my mind wandered back to Drew and my own dancing coach.

  Drew had wanted me to learn to dance so that whenever he thought that I was ready to be in public and wouldn’t embarrass him I would be able to dance as gracefully as he could. I had been working with Jaymas Wellington, a retired Broadway star. I was on my third week with him, and we were in the open end of the gym. I didn’t know that Drew had returned. He had been gone for nearly three weeks.

  Jaymas and I were doing a spin and were laughing and really doing more goofing off than anything. I liked him a lot, probably more than I should have. It was nice to have someone to talk to. We didn’t talk about anything personal. I knew everything I said could be heard by Drew anytime he wanted. I had just slid down Jaymas’s body after the spin, and we were both laughing when I lost my balance and fell to the floor. We stopped dead in our tracks when Drew entered with a look of pure anger.

  “Leave!” he demanded through gritted teeth to Jaymas.

  Jaymas left, telling me that he would see me later. He didn’t see me later, and I never saw him again. Drew walked up to me a
nd took me in his arms and started dancing me around the floor.

  “You like flirting with other men?”

  “I wasn’t flirting with anyone,” I demanded.

  “That’s not how I was seeing it. It looked to me like you were enjoying being in another man’s arms.”

  “We were dancing. You’re the one that made me take lessons,” I reminded him.

  “Do you like him rubbing his dick all over you?”

  “You’re impossible,” I demanded and took the blow to the same cheek that he seemed to always go for. He grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the gym. I looked at Rebecca as I was being forced into his office. She gave me a warm encouraging smile, but it wasn’t too reassuring to me. I had only been in Drew’s office once, in the five months that I had been there, and that was on our wedding day. I wasn’t allowed in that room, and it was kept locked unless he was in it.

  “Get out!” Drew said to the two guys with folders and some sort of brochures in their hands.

  “Drew, you have to make a decision on this ad,” Derik argued.

  “That one,” he demanded, pulling one of the pamphlets from his hand without looking at it.

  Drew locked the door, and I was scared, more than I ever had been with him. He was angry, and I didn’t know what he was going to do to me. That day was the beginning of my suddenly allowed office visits.

  “Take your clothes off,” he demanded, and then yelled, “NOW!” when I hesitated.

  I removed my practice shorts and shirt as he watched with crossed arms. He nodded when I didn’t move, beckoning me to take off my bra and panties, as well.

  “You know that I am about to beat your ass like I never have, don’t you?”

  “Why?” I asked. I hadn’t done anything wrong.

  He was in my face in a split second. “You do not ask the questions, got it?” he asked, squeezing my nipple so hard that it burned.

  “Bend over my desk,” he demanded. I did. I had to. I panicked when I heard the belt being pulled through his belt loops. It reminded me of when my dad used to whip me with his belt, and I remembered how bad it hurt.