Underestimated

by Jettie Woodruff

  “Can you leave us, Marta?” He asked. She smiled and walked out.

  Drew straddled the stool beside me. “Look at me,” he softy spoke.

  I turned my head to his, but I didn’t look at him. I looked past his right shoulder at one of the replaced, tiny cameras that I had broken. What? Was he afraid someone was going to steal his food?

  Stupid idiot. Stupid fucking idiot…

  “Don’t you want to know what the results are?”

  I did look into his eyes with that, dead on with my cold, despicable glare. “I already know what they are.”

  “She can do the paternity test, and she can do the abortion if it turns out to be his.”

  Damnit, what the hell did I do with that gun?...

  “One, Judith is not doing shit with any test. Two, Judith is not touching me. I will find my own physician, and three. What would ever give you the idea that I would even consider an abortion?”

  “I knew you would say every bit of what you just said,” he admitted.

  “Then, why would you even suggest any of it?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “Wishful thinking, I guess. What do you want, Morgan?”

  “Not you,” I assured him. He snickered.

  “You want to run back to your boring little life in Maine, back to your safe little sheriff.” He replied with a tone. It wasn’t a question, it was more of a statement.

  “Boring? Let me explain to you what boring is. Boring is being trapped in this house for six, very long years. Boring is being allowed to leave the house escorted to go to one place and check out one book. Boring is being locked in a room with nothing in it for days, boring is…”

  “Stop, Morgan. You want to leave? I’m not forcing you to stay. You’re free to go whenever you want.”

  “Fine. I want to go now,” I demanded.

  “Where do you want to go?” he asked, I knew he wanted me to say back to my mom’s. I kind of wanted to go there too, but I was pissed. My only goal in life at that moment was to hurt him.

  “Maine,” I spouted off with one word.

  He took his cellphone from his pocket.

  “I need the plane ready in an hour,” he said in the phone glaring at me.

  Fuck…

  I didn’t want to leave like that. I knew that he was trying to do what he thought was best. Hurting me wasn’t his intention, but damnit, he couldn’t just tell me what I was doing anymore. I felt like a real shit. I felt even worse when he kissed my lips softly and whispered that he loved me before he turned and walked away. Could somebody please explain how this got turned around? I wasn’t the bitch here, was I?

  I was just getting ready to go to him when Marta let Celeste in, Celeste in her long legs, short pencil skirt, and beautiful flowing blonde hair.

  “Good afternoon, Mrs. Kelley,” she smiled, carrying an arm full of folders.

  “Hello,” I smiled back as she made her way to Drew’s office.

  I went upstairs and packed the clothes that I had taken to North Carolina with me. I didn’t really need two thousand dollar dresses in Maine.

  I walked past Drew’s closed office door. I couldn’t believe that he was going to let me go without a word. He never came out.

  My face instantly turned red when I opened the door to Gary. The same Gary that the last time I saw, my legs were wrapped around Drew’s waist in the back of the plane.

  He took my bag and said goodbye to Marta. Drew was really letting me leave without one word.

  I was happy when we landed that Drew had already arranged for me to have a ride. I really didn’t want to call Dawson, and it was getting pretty late. I knew that Lauren would be in bed already.

  I smiled when I got out of the car at my mowed lawn, and then again at my stack of mail on the table. Dawson was still taking care of me even though I had been a fucked up mess around him over the last couple of months. No. I had always been a mess around him, from day one, and he was always there for me. I opened the sliding glass door, went around and opened windows, and sprayed a can of Lysol around the house. I guess the humidity from the hot days and the closed up house caused the musty smell.

  I soaked in a hot bath and ran my hand over my belly. I swear I could see a bump already.

  “Oh, little baby, what a mess you are coming into,” I said out loud.

  I smiled, and got out of the tub when I heard Dawson.

  “Ry?” he called.

  I pulled on my robe from the hook behind the bathroom door which I also noticed the musty smell on. I made a mental note to throw it in the wash.

  I’m such an idiot. I walked right into the man’s arms. I had serious problems.

  Dawson placed his hands on my back and pulled me to him with a smile and a kiss. I think maybe my vagina was on break, pissed off, or just not interested in making love to Dawson. It wasn’t giving me fits like normal when one of these men touched me. I know it was because it wasn’t what I needed. I needed someone to understand me, someone to confide in without being judged. Was Dawson that someone? I was about to find out. He had just as much right to know about the baby as Drew did.

  “I’m going to get dressed. I’ll be right back,” I said, pulling away from him. I couldn’t help but notice how our fingers seemed to linger as he let me go.

  “Do you want a beer?” he called.

  Hmmm. No alcohol for a while. “No, I think I’m just going to have tea,” I called out.

  Dawson had the tea kettle on the stove when I came out.

  “I didn’t think you would be back this soon. How was the funeral?”

  I didn’t think I would be either. I shrugged my shoulders. “Fine, I guess. There weren’t many people there, but it was nice.”

  “Do you want to sit outside?” he asked, pouring hot water over the teabag.

  “Yes.”

  I watched Dawson put the teaspoon of honey in my cup. I’d bet that Drew didn’t even know how I liked my tea. Dawson got himself a beer and carried my cup. I slid the door open for him, and he paused. He moved his head and kissed me lightly with a smile. I smiled back. I could tell that he was happy to see me, and he had missed me.

  We sat at the table. Dawson didn’t sit across from me. He slid his chair around so that we were both looking out to the endless sea.

  “How did you know that I was home?” I asked.

  He smiled. “Lauren text me.”

  I smiled too.

  “You okay, Ry?” he asked, and for the life of me I don’t know what happened. My guess was the hormones were a little wacky, but I started crying. I don’t mean a tear escaped. I bawled like a baby. He held his arm around me, not speaking. I’m sure he had no idea what to say. He held me, kissed my head, and rubbed circles around my back.

  Once I was able to stop sobbing like some sort of lunatic, I wiped my nose with the back of my hand and smiled up at him.

  “I’m sorry,” I apologized.

  Dawson walked into the house and came back with a box of tissues. I pulled one from the box and blew my nose.

  “What’s going on, Ry?” he asked, taking my hand. I ran my hand over his light blue t-shirt where the blue was darker from my wet tears. He looked down.

  “Don’t worry about it. It’s not the first time you cried in my shirt,” he said.

  “Why are you so good to me?” I asked. I didn’t deserve him any more than a child molester deserved to keep their private parts. I had been so rotten to him, but could I really help it. I still didn’t know what the hell to do. I loved Drew. There was no doubt in my mind. I loved Dawson too, and now I had to go and throw a baby in the middle. Fucked up, that’s what it was.

  “Because I love you,” he quietly said.

  “I’m pregnant, Daw.” There, I said it. It was out. I was afraid to look at him. I was afraid that he was going to get up and walk out of my life, for good this time. It was really stupid of me. Dawson wasn’t that man. Dawson would be right there for as long as I would let him. I knew he would. I heard him take a
deep breath and looked down at his hand caressing mine.

  “Is it mine, Ry?”

  I felt a sudden sense of déjà vu. I had already had this conversation.

  “I don’t know, Dawson.” I was honest with him. I was done lying to Dawson Bade. Whether we were together or not, I was telling him everything.

  I spent the next two hours, pouring my heart out to him. He knew that I was worth more than Bill Gates. I told him about Drew and Derik’s plan to dispose of me once Mr. Callaway had passed, and how they hadn’t expected him to live but a few months. I told him about him being forced to marry me or be cut out of his will. He knew about my mother being paid off too. I told him everything, even the demand from Drew that I have this paternity test.

  “I can’t understand how you can love this guy, Ry. And don’t take it the wrong way. I’m not trying to be a dick. I just don’t understand. I want to go dig his grave right now.”

  I snorted and traced his fingers with mine. “He wanted me to have an abortion if the baby turns out to be yours.”

  “I’m afraid if you let him talk you into that, I would dig his grave.”

  I picked my ringing cellphone up from the table. I answered it. I wasn’t hiding anything from either one of them anymore. If that sent them both running to the hills then so be it.

  “I just wanted to make sure that you made it home okay,” Drew said on the other end.

  “Yes. I’m home.” That’s all I said. I didn’t know what to say to him.

  “Are you flying back to North Carolina or do you want me to send for your car?”

  “I’m staying here for a while, but you don’t have to send someone to drive my car. I have my Honda. My mom said that it was fine there.”

  “You’re not driving my baby around in that jalopy you call a car.”

  “My car is fine until I go out there. I promised Caroline I would come back before school started.”

  “I promised her I would go sea glass hunting with her next week. We were supposed to go spend a couple of days there, remember?”

  “Yeah, I remember.” I didn’t say any more than that again. He picked up on it. He knew.

  “He’s there, isn’t he?”

  “Yes.”

  “That didn’t take two minutes. I’ll talk to you later, Morgan.”

  I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye. My phone was blinking, call ended, two minutes, twelve seconds in my hand.

  “You know what, Riley?” Dawson said, taking my hand and holding my knuckles to his lips.

  Oh, boy. Here it comes.

  “Hmm?”

  “I think that you have been through enough shit for ten life times. I think you should divorce him, marry me and let me take care of you and my baby for the rest of your life.”

  Shit, maybe I should just do the paternity test. I had a feeling that I would be hearing this from both fathers for nine months. I didn’t respond and only smiled.

  Dawson never left me that night. He didn’t try anything that involved being naked, and I was glad. I think my vagina was on strike anyway, I never heard a peep. Dawson held me close all night, caressing my back and planting soft, sweet kisses on my forehead. I knew that Dawson made the most sense. I knew that Dawson would be the simpler of the two solutions if there were a simple solution.

  I woke late to an empty bed. Dawson had left for work. I lay in bed reviewing my options for a long time. For whatever reason, I decided at the moment that I was going to stop fretting over any of it. I wasn’t going to try and decide anything. Whatever happened, happened. I really needed to clean the ceiling fan.

  I got up, started coffee and did just that. I cleaned the ceiling fan, drank coffee on my deck while listening to Lauren and Levi. I even laughed when Lauren told a caller that she was a black, Jewish girl from Kentucky. I went to town and had lunch at Millie’s, stopped and visited with Star, and then walked along the beach.

  I was slowly settling back into my life in Maine. I had a man that adored me, friends that loved me, a house that I treasured, and an ocean for solitude. Drew did have my car driven to me, but I didn’t drive it. I drove my old Honda. The BMW was a little out of place there, and I felt more like me in the Honda. I wasn’t some rich girl that doted on the finer things of life, well technically I was a rich girl, but I didn’t feel like one.

  I hadn’t heard from Drew for almost two weeks. I felt in my heart that I was doing the right thing. Dawson loved me, and I loved him. I had fun with Dawson, and yes we were having sex. It wasn’t anything like Drew, and I had, not even close. Dawson was in it for the love making which was fine by me. He made sure that my needs were met, and took his sweet, slow time. I didn’t need the fucked up sex life that Drew and I shared. This was what I needed, right here in nowhere Maine, where life was simple.

  Lauren took a week’s vacation about a month after I was home and she and I spent a week with my mom on the beach. Lauren loved it. She was a bigger kid than Caroline was and spent her days hunting sea glass, playing dumb little girl games, sitting on the beach with binoculars searching for dolphins and shopping. Caroline loved her just as much as Lauren loved Caroline. It was funny. I never pictured Lauren being good around little girls. She was.

  My mom made sure that Lauren and I had a room so that we didn’t have to bunk with Caroline although Caroline camped with us all but two of the six nights we were there. It was mid-August, and one night Caroline insisted that we sleep on the beach and watch the meteor shower. It was the perfect night for it. We all lay out on the beach, including my mom, on top of sleeping bags and watched the fireball sky. The last count that we had was somewhere in the ballpark of a hundred. Some of them were quick and small, and some of them felt like they were coming right at us. I had never watched a meteor shower before. It was amazing, and Caroline had so many wishes. It was comical. I myself made only one wish. I wished that the baby growing inside of me would be Dawson’s.

  On the fifth day that we were there Drew called. We were eating breakfast on the private deck, goofing off with Caroline. My heart sank when I saw his name. What the fuck. I needed him not to call. I needed to stay as far away from him as possible, and I sure as hell didn’t need to hear his voice right now.

  “Hello,” I cautiously answered.

  “Hey, where are you?” he asked, no hey beautiful, I miss you, nothing just a cold tone. I should have been happy that he wasn’t being nice. It should have made it easier, but it didn’t. I wanted him to want me. It was dumb, but none the less, it was what I wanted.

  “I’m at my mom’s with Lauren. Why?”

  “I’m flying there so that you can sign a power of attorney,” he said.

  “For what?”

  “So that I can work. I have a stack of shit on my desk that needs your signature. I need you to sign a power of attorney so that I don’t have to rely on you to take care of it.”

  “Okay,” I replied. I didn’t care about that. I wouldn’t know what I was signing anyway. “When are you coming?”

  “I should be there by three.”

  “Today?!?” I asked shocked. I didn’t mean to sound so surprised. It just came out that way.

  “Is that a problem?”

  “No. That will be fine,” I answered. It wasn’t fine. I didn’t want to see Drew. I couldn’t see Drew.

  “See ya later then,” he replied and hung up.

  I called Dawson and told him that he was coming. I wasn’t going to feel guilty for him being there and hiding it from him. I was done with that. Dawson was okay with it. He trusted me.

  Stupid boy…

  The only thing that Dawson was concerned with was me signing something that was going to leave me with nothing and I would give it all to Drew. I didn’t care. I didn’t want any of it. I had a four thousand dollar a month trust fund for the rest of my life without having anything to do with diamonds, stores, stocks, negotiations or conference calls. That was more money than I had ever had in my life and more than enough to live on.


  I was a nervous wreck the entire afternoon. I’m not sure why. I had a feeling he would pop in and out. I bet that he didn’t mention the baby or anything else about us. I was right.

  I was in Lauren’s and my shared room, taking a shower and getting ready. I knew it was stupid, but I wanted to look nice for him. I pulled on blue short shorts and a pink cami that made my breasts look bigger than they actually were. Well, maybe they were a little bigger. I was just finishing up with my make up when I heard the tap on the door. I thought it was Caroline. It wasn’t even two yet.

  “It’s open,” I called, spritzing a dab of perfume on.

  I froze. I wasn’t expecting to see Drew.

  Really vagina?

  I hadn’t had that response in quite some time, and I had almost forgotten all about the arguments that I had with my own sex. He looked good. I mean really good. I had lived with the man for six years and never saw him in a pair of jeans. He was in jeans that looked delicious on him, a tight gray t-shirt that showed that he was ripped. He had been using the new equipment in the gym. I smirked a little. I knew he had dressed for me too. He had a thin beard almost in a line along his jaw line. It was sexy as hell.

  His eyes scanned my body and then back to my eyes. He closed the door, and my heart started to beat out of my chest.

  Fuck, fuck and fuck…

  He walked to me with half a smile while I still stood like some sort of stupid, destitute derelict. He picked up the black sea glass hanging from around my neck and smiled as if he was saying, I own you. Jesus H. Christ did he smell good. What happened next probably bought me a one way ticket straight to hell. He kissed me. I kissed him back. I still hadn’t spoken when he turned to lock the door.

  Shit.

  He lifted his shirt over his head, and I swear I felt an orgasm coming on. I don’t think my clitoris had ever throbbed like that from the sight of anything, ever.

  “Take your clothes off,” he demanded in a low ass sexy tone.

  I did just that. I stood in front of the bastard and undressed as his hungry eyes watched.

  He walked behind me and moved my hair off of my shoulder, lightly kissing the crook of my neck. “I want to spank you, Morgan. Do you want me to spank you?” he whispered in my ear. My eyes closed as I felt his warm words on my tender skin.