Underestimated

by Jettie Woodruff

  I took a deep breath and slid my arms through my coat. I didn’t even know what I was going to say. Was Lauren really seeing Dawson behind my back?

  Lauren opened the door before I had a chance to knock.

  “Can we talk?” I asked.

  She stepped aside and gestured for me to come in.

  “I just made coffee, want some?”

  “Sure,” I said, sitting at the table. “Lauren, I’m sorry,” I blurted out even though I didn’t know what I was apologizing to her for.

  “Me too, Ry. I just don’t want you to hurt Dawson. He is so in love with you.”

  Hmm. How do I respond to that? She wasn’t going to mention having lunch with him. Should I? I decided to let it slide and pretend that I didn’t know.

  “Why don’t you and Joel come over tonight?” I asked. I didn’t want her to come over with Joel. I wanted to spend the evening alone, talking to Dawson. I was just fishing for information.

  “Joel and I broke up almost a month ago,” she stated.

  “What happened? Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked, playing the concerned friend.

  “I came over to talk to you last night. We didn’t really talk.”

  “Why did you break up?”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess I have decided lately that I wasn’t getting any younger. Joel’s not really the settling down type. I want to be in love and start a family.”

  “Got anyone in mind?”

  She thought briefly before answering. “No, not really.”

  She wasn’t going to tell me that she had lunch with Dawson, and she wasn’t going to tell me who she had in mind, but I could tell there was someone, and I had a good feeling that it was Dawson.

  I answered my phone when I saw that it was Dawson.

  “Where are you? I brought supper.”

  “How did you know that I was home?” I asked. I knew Lauren had told him. I just wanted to see what his answer was.

  “ESP, baby. Get over here. I’m hungry, and I miss you.”

  I smiled. He wasn’t telling me either. “I’m coming.”

  I stood up and took Lauren’s hand. “Come, let’s go eat.”

  “No. I think I am just going to hang out here. You go ahead,” she said pulling her hand from mine.

  “I thought you said you weren’t mad at me.”

  “I’m not. I’m just not hungry. I had a big lunch.”

  “Please,” I begged.

  She groaned and got up. We walked across the yard, arm in arm. I knew I was being sly, but I couldn’t help it. I had to know.

  Dawson was setting plates out on the table and getting spoons for the carton of mashed potatoes and corn. I went to the kitchen and got Lauren a plate and the butter for the biscuits. I watched the two of them exchange a glance. It was not my imagination. I know what I saw, and I know that Lauren quickly redirected her eyes.

  I placed the utensils on the table and decided to try something else. I wrapped my arms around Dawson’s neck and kissed him.

  “Hi,” I said as his hands moved around by ever growing body.

  “Hi,” he said, and I kissed him again.

  “I think I will just leave you two alone,” Lauren tried.

  “No. I’m done. I promise,” I said, playing it off. “Sit.”

  We ate the chicken, and I purposely touched Dawson every chance I got, just to observe Lauren’s reaction. It was obvious. She didn’t want me touching him. There was something going on. I knew it.

  Lauren helped clean up the trash. I could tell that she wanted out of there. I kissed Dawson again in the kitchen, and that was it. She was gone.

  “I’ll see you guys later,” she stated, not looking back.

  “What’s her problem?” I asked Dawson.

  He shrugged one shoulder. “She’s your friend,” he accused, like I should know better than him.

  “Did you miss me?” I asked, moving into his arms. I don’t know what the hell I was doing. I guess I felt a little rejected or some shit. I had planned on telling him that I didn’t want to be with him and that I was going home to my husband. I didn’t feel that way anymore. I wanted Dawson, especially after realizing that Lauren wanted him too.

  “Of course I missed you,” he assured me, pulling me into his arms. “How’s your family?”

  Was he now fishing for information? “Good, I’m going back down in a couple of weeks. Caroline is in a school play and I promised her I would come and watch.”

  I’m pretty sure he bought it. He kissed me, parting my lips with his tongue. I kissed him back and ran my hands along his ribs and to his strong back. I wanted him. I wanted him right that second. What the hell was wrong with me? I needed professional help or something.

  Dawson tried to lift my shirt over my head. I stopped him. I hadn’t forgotten about the nice little surprise that Drew had left for me.

  “I need a shower,” I whispered to his lips.

  He placed his forehead on mine and took a deep breath. “Then you better get away from me and go,” he assured me.

  I kissed him again and left him.

  I prayed that he didn’t come into the bathroom. I think I showered quicker than I ever had in my life. I even dressed in record time.

  Dawson was in my room emptying his pockets when I came out. He took clothes from his dedicated drawers and kissed me as he headed to the shower next.

  Damnit he was staying. We were going to have sex. This was not the plan…at all.

  I slipped on a pair of socks and eyed his cellphone, trying to tell myself not to do it. I had never looked through his phone. I never had a reason to. I jumped up and practically ran to it. I opened it up and went right to the messages. Fifty seven of them were to and from Lauren. I scanned them quickly, listening for the shower to shut off.

  Most of them were just quick little text. Like, good morning, good night, how is your day going? And then I read where they were meeting. He knew that I was home the night before. Lauren had text him and told him not to come over because I was home.

  Why was I so pissed about Dawson and Lauren? It wasn’t like I hadn’t just lied to him and spent the last few days with Drew. I was furious. I was reading one from Lauren, telling Dawson that she missed his lips and couldn’t wait until she could kiss him. I didn’t hear the water shut off, and I didn’t hear Dawson walk in.

  I don’t know how I knew that he was standing there. I guess I just sensed his presence. I turned to see his tight lipped face staring right at me, going through his phone.

  “Dawson?” I said. I needed to know. Screw the private investigator crap. I wanted to know, and he was going to tell me.

  “I’ve wanted to tell you, Riley.”

  “Tell me what?”

  He didn’t speak. I could feel my heart beating. I could feel the blood pumping through my veins. I was ticked. I wanted to pick his gun up and shoot him in the head. I was literally seeing little light prisms. I was so freaking mad. I couldn’t see straight. Why, I wasn’t sure. I really had no right, but God damnit, this hit me like a ton of bricks. I wasn’t expecting this. I could have never seen this coming, not in a million years.

  “How long has this been going on, Dawson?” I asked. I was trying my best to keep my cool. Never mind the fact that I was planning on dumping him that very night.

  “Riley, come here,” he tried. Fuck that. He wasn’t touching me, ever.

  “Just fucking tell me, Dawson,” I demanded, still trying not to yell.

  “Come out here and sit down. I will put on some tea, and we will talk.”

  I stormed past him shoving his phone in his chest. I didn’t want to sit. I couldn’t sit. I walked out to the cold November chill in my sock feet. I needed air. I needed the brisk cold sea air. I felt like I was suffocating, and I didn’t know why.

  Dawson left me alone while he heated water. It was probably best that he did. When I finally cooled off, I walked back in and sat at the table. I shivered, freezing from the cold a
ir.

  “Do you love her?” I asked, looking down at the table. I didn’t want to see his face when I got my answer.

  “I don’t know, Ry. Lauren has been there for me through all of this. We spent hours together when you were missing.”

  “How sweet,” I smartly, replied.

  “Not like that. We spent hours looking for you. You were gone almost five months before anything ever happened. We were only intimate twice before I found you.”

  “Why didn’t you just leave me lost?”

  “Because I love you. I still love you.”

  “Do you want Lauren?”

  “I don’t know how to answer that right now. I guess that is up to you.”

  “Why would it be up to me?” I asked, turning to look at him.

  He bought our teacups to the table and sat in front of me.

  “If I thought for one second that you were going to divorce Drew and marry me and raise our family together, I wouldn’t want Lauren.”

  “So, you are doing to her, what I have done to you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, you are putting her second because you feel obligated to make things work with me.”

  “Is that what you have been doing, Riley?”

  “Not on purpose, but I guess so. It’s always been Drew, Daw. I didn’t always realize that, but it’s a fact. We could have been happy had things not have happened the way that they did. If I wouldn’t have forgotten who I was and fallen in love with my husband for the first time, things may have been different. I do love you. You have been my safety blanket from day one.”

  “You want out too, don’t you?”

  “Yes. I didn’t go to my mother’s. I have been with Drew.”

  “I kind of figured as much, and it wasn’t the first time. Was it”

  I shook my head.

  “What about the baby, Riley. If this is my kid, I want to be a part of his life.”

  I smiled at him. I couldn’t help it. “I know, and I would never keep you from that. I would actually be a little relieved if I knew that Lauren was going to be the other female in his life.”

  He smiled too. I think at that point we were both praying that this little boy wasn’t his.

  “I’m glad that I had the opportunity to know and love you,” Dawson, quietly said.

  I don’t know why that bothered me, but it did. I think because I knew he was at the place where he was telling me goodbye. I quickly swiped the escaped tear.

  “Riley?” Dawson said, sadly, wanting me to look at him.

  “I’m not Riley, Dawson. I’m Morgan.”

  He smiled a weak smile. “Are you going to be okay?”

  “Yes. I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse. I’ll manage.”

  “Yes you have, and I hope the rest of your life is full of nothing but happiness.”

  I stood and walked toward the front door. I’d had enough for one night. I wanted Dawson to leave. “You can come and get your stuff whenever you want,” I said, placing my hand on the door knob.

  Dawson removed my hand and pulled me toward him. He held me tight, and I was trying with all of my might not to cry. It didn’t work, and I let go. I cried in Dawson’s shirt for the last time.

  He pulled away after a bit and held my face with his hands. He bent a little so that we were at level eye contact. “I love you, Riley, and don’t you ever think that I didn’t.”

  “I love you too, Dawson. I swear I do.”

  I closed the door behind him, feeling like I was closing the door on that fragment of my life. I knew it was over for good this time, and I was hurt. I wasn’t surprised, but I was definitely hurting. I wanted Drew. I didn’t call him though. I needed time first. I instead called my mom and cried to her for over an hour.

  She didn’t speak and only listened until I was done sobbing and had cried out the last of my tears.

  “Now that you are done, I think I should tell you something,” she finally spoke.

  “No, Mom. I can’t deal with anymore tonight. I’m coming out there tomorrow. I can’t stay here. Save it for another day, please,” I begged. She didn’t.

  “I understand, Morgan,” she began, ignoring my request. “Drew flew here when they picked up your car to bring it to you. I know everything, Morgan. I know how you spent your first six years. I know that you ran from him and acquired a new identity. I know that he took you from the hospital with the same intentions as the day he picked you up when you were eighteen.”

  I was speechless. Drew told her everything. I couldn’t believe it. Why would he do that?

  “I know that he hit you and God knows what else happened. I know what his assistant did to you, and I know it was all for money. He was angry that he had worked so hard on making sure that he was on that will, and you just happen to pop up out of the blue as the only living heir. But, you know what else, Morgan?”

  I still couldn’t speak. I shook my head, like she could see.

  “I know that man loves you more than his own life. I have never seen a grown man cry as much as he did when he confessed all of his sins to me. I can’t even judge him for putting a dollar before the happiness of another human being. I did the same thing. Maybe with different intentions, but none the less, I did the same thing.”

  Drew cried? Drew didn’t cry. Drew wasn’t capable of crying.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “He made me promise not to. He said that he was going to step aside and let you decide on your own.”

  I snickered. “He never stepped aside. The longest he ever made it was almost three weeks. He couldn’t stand not emailing or calling or even a text.”

  “That’s because he loves you, baby.”

  “What if our past always haunts us?”

  “Are you afraid of him?”

  “No. Not at all.”

  “Then don’t let the past haunt you. Leave it in the past and move forward.”

  “If this baby turns out to be Dawson’s it will undoubtedly complicate things.”

  “I don’t think so. We talked about that too. He actually told me that he was glad that Dawson was there for you and that if it is his baby, he couldn’t have handpicked a better father figure.”

  I couldn’t believe that it was almost midnight.

  “I will let you go, mom. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was this late.”

  “I’ve got all night, sweetie.”

  “Thanks for listening, Mom.”

  “You’re welcome, honey. I am always here for you, and I am so glad that you are back in my life, even if you are making me a grandma,” she teased. “I love you, Morgan.”

  “I love you too.” I hadn’t said that to my mother in years. It felt good, and it felt good to talk to her. I was so thankful that she was there.

  “Can I tell Caroline that you will be here tomorrow?”

  I smiled. “Yes. I can’t wait to see her.”

  “Goodnight, Morgan.”

  “Goodnight, Mom.”

  I lay awake for hours, thinking about my life. I was leaving Misty Bay. I couldn’t stay there. It would be too awkward, and not fair to Dawson and Lauren. Wow. Dawson and Lauren. I still couldn’t believe it. I had to talk to Lauren. I had to let her know that I wasn’t mad. I was happy that Dawson would have her, and I hoped that they lived happily ever after. I needed to get a hold of a realtor. No. I should wait. If this was Dawson’s son, I would want to be close by when he was visiting there. I might need to keep my house.

  I’m not sure what time the exhaustion finally took over, and I slept, but I didn’t wake until almost nine. I got up and started packing right away. I had wanted to be on the road by seven. I was brushing my teeth when I heard my cellphone and ran to the kitchen to grab it.

  “Shit!” I yelled when my pinky toe came in full contact with the wooden barstool leg.

  “Hello,” I danced around answering Drew’s call.

  “What’s wrong? Are you in labor?”

  “
No, you moron. I stubbed my toe trying to get to the phone, but it feels like labor.”

  “I’m afraid you’re in for a rude awakening my love.”

  I chuckled and sat on the stool, massaging my aching toe. “Are you home?”

  “Not yet, getting ready to fly out. What are you doing? How’s my boy?”

  “Your boy is fine, and I am packing to go to my mom’s.”

  That was the first time that I ever said your boy. I had always rotated it back to my son and not either one of the two possible dads.

  “I thought we were waiting a couple of weeks. You can’t have the plane until tomorrow.”

  “I don’t want the plane. I have a very expensive BMW, sitting in my driveway.”

  “Oh no, Morgan. Don’t you even think about it. You are not driving all the way to your mothers in your condition.”

  “Drew, I’m pregnant, not crippled.”

  “You’re not driving, Morgan.”

  “Yeah, okay.”

  “I mean it damnit. Listen to me for once in your life.”

  I had to bite my tongue on that one.

  “Did you call me to tell me what I can and can’t do?”

  “Yes. Now listen to me, would you?”

  “Yes.” I replied. I would just wait until we were off the phone and leave.

  “I don’t think your sheriff is as smart as you think he is. I can’t believe he is going to let you get in your car and drive to North Carolina.”

  “Dawson doesn’t tell me what to do. Only you do that.”

  “If you take off in that car, I am going to beat your pregnant ass, and that’s a promise.”

  “Hmm, I’m positively doing it now,” I teased.

  “You’re a sick individual, Morgan Kelley.”

  “You made me that way. Drew can I call you back in a little bit? Lauren is at my door.”

  “Doesn’t Lauren just use her key and walk in?

  “We kind of had a fight.”

  “About what?”

  “I will call you when she leaves.”

  “Okay, but don’t you dare take off in that car.”

  “I’ll call you back,” I replied, opening the door to Lauren’s weak smile.