Love or Duty--A saga set in 1920s Liverpool

by Rosie Harris

  The colour drained from Penny’s face. ‘You wouldn’t let him do something like that,’ she said in a small voice.

  Mrs Forshaw gave an imperceptible shrug. ‘He’s head of the house and I have to go along with what he says, surely you realize that by now.’

  Eleven

  The atmosphere at the Forshaw’s dinner table that evening was very strained.

  ‘I thought you told me that you were inviting Arnold to dine with us tonight,’ Captain Forshaw stated when Mary brought in the soup. ‘Why aren’t we waiting for him?’

  ‘Arnold won’t be coming. As a matter of fact it seems that we won’t be seeing very much of him in the future,’ Leonora Forshaw stated in an ominous tight-lipped voice.

  ‘I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean?’ Captain Forshaw shook out his napkin, picked up his spoon and attacked his soup.

  ‘What mother means is that Arnold has broken off our engagement,’ Penny said in a low voice.

  Captain Forshaw reacted in exactly the way Penny’s mother had anticipated. Frowning heavily he stared directly at Penny in disbelief.

  ‘Did you say he’s broken off your engagement!’ he exclaimed. ‘That’s quite impossible. What are you talking about?’

  ‘Arnold has broken off our engagement,’ Penny repeated in a stony voice.

  ‘Don’t be so ridiculous, Penny! What has brought this about? A lover’s tiff?’

  ‘No, this is quite definite. There won’t be any reconciliation,’ Penny said tightly. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes; why was she always the one in the wrong. No one seemed to recognize that she had tried to act responsibly and do her duty in order to minimize the damage her accident might have on the rest of her family.

  Her father’s angry voice cut across her thoughts. ‘Utter nonsense! William Watson and I have a great future planned for the pair of you after you are married.’

  ‘Arnold is very fed up with the way Penny has been treating him for the last month or so and really I can’t say that I blame him,’ Leonora Forshaw piped up.

  Marcus Forshaw looked from his wife to Penny and back again as if waiting for further details.

  ‘He’s seen practically nothing at all of her this summer because she has been too busy devoting all her time to this child she’s taken under her wing,’ Leonora explained in a waspish tone of voice.

  ‘I thought that was all behind us. Surely your new term back at school started today, Penny, and we had agreed that you would take the child back to its mother.’

  ‘Instead of which she took the child along to school with her and there was an accident in the playground. Now the child has a broken arm as well as a broken leg,’ Leonora told him before Penny could do so.

  Captain Forshaw pushed his soup bowl away and dabbed at his lips with his napkin. ‘I cannot believe what I am hearing. How could a daughter of mine be so senseless and inconsiderate as to put a child from the Liverpool slums before her own future prospects,’ he exclaimed bitterly, wiping his mouth fastidiously.

  There was an ominous silence in the room as Mary came in to take away the soup bowls and to serve the main course.

  ‘You know quite well why I did it, Father,’ Penny reminded him in a tearful voice as soon as they were on their own. ‘I did it because I felt it was my duty to prevent your name and Arnold’s being dragged through the courts because of something I had done.’

  ‘What utter nonsense! The case would never have reached the courts,’ her father stated as he attacked the lamb chop that had been placed in front of him.

  ‘Mother was worried in case details of the accident were in the newspapers and about the scandal that would result if my name was mentioned,’ Penny persisted.

  ‘Do stop trying to justify your foolish actions. I am bitterly disappointed in your inane behaviour, Penny. You defied me and the results have been disastrous. I want that child out of my house immediately.’

  ‘I’ve already explained to mother that it is absolutely impossible for Mrs Murphy to look after Kelly because now that she has broken her arm she is unable to use her crutches to get about.’

  ‘I’m not interested in the details. I don’t want that child here any longer; do I make myself clear? What you do with her is your affair,’ Captain Forshaw stated in a clipped angry voice.

  ‘If you insist that she has to go then I’ll go as well,’ Penny said defiantly.

  ‘That is entirely up to you but do remember that if you do I may not want you back here ever again,’ her father told her harshly.

  They continued eating their meal in silence. Penny pushed hers around on her plate, her appetite gone.

  As soon as he had eaten his desert Captain Forshaw pushed back his chair and stood up.

  ‘I’ll have my coffee served in my study,’ he said curtly as he left the room.

  ‘Do you think he really meant what he threatened?’ Penny asked worriedly, looking at her mother.

  ‘I’m quite sure that he did,’ her mother responded firmly, dabbing her lips with her napkin. ‘He is extremely upset that you have gone against his wishes. The best thing you can do is to take the child back to Liverpool right now and hope he says no more about it.’

  Kelly was still fast asleep when Penny went upstairs. She stood by the side of the truckle bed looking down at her and wondering what to do for the best.

  Kelly still looked so thin and so very vulnerable that she couldn’t bring herself to do as her father had instructed and take her back knowing the conditions she would have to endure. It would feel as though she was abandoning Kelly when she most needed her help.

  Penny was still pondering the dilemma she was in and wondering if there was anything she could do to put matters right when she went to bed herself.

  The future looked bleak. She had lost Arnold, so there was no question of turning to him for help, and her father had been adamant that he wouldn’t have Kelly living there any longer. Nor was there any hope of Miss Grimshaw letting her have her job back as long as she was caring for Kelly.

  Penny woke to a dull wet morning. The sky was grey and overcast and although it was only the start of September it felt as chilly as November.

  She had lain awake for a long time during the night thinking back to her own childhood and the wonderful times she had known as she was growing up.

  As an only child it had been a very privileged existence. Her earliest memories were of Nanny Pritchard, a plump, loveable woman who had been her constant companion until she was old enough to go to school.

  It had been Nanny who had comforted her when she felt sad and who had dressed her in pretty dresses when there were guests and had taken her down to the drawing room to meet them. Afterwards, when she escorted her back to the nursery she would listen to her childish prattle as she undressed her and put her to bed.

  It was Nanny who accompanied her on her first day at the private school her parents had chosen for her. Nanny who had patted her shoulder encouragingly and then struggled to hide her own tears when she had to leave her there.

  Nanny had always been at the school gate to meet her at the end of each day. She had listened attentively to her account of all the things that had happened to her at school.

  It had been a sad day for both of them when a few weeks after Penny’s seventh birthday Mr and Mrs Forshaw decided that she no longer needed a Nanny and Mrs Pritchard was sent on her way.

  She always remembered to send me a birthday card and another one at Christmas for the next ten years, Penny thought with a smile.

  She recalled how she’d been heartbroken when the cards had stopped coming and her father had told her that it was because Mrs Pritchard had died.

  By then she’d been in her teens and so many other things were occupying her time. Not long afterwards she had met Arnold and he had become the centre of her life.

  As Kelly woke up, Penny’s mind switched to the problems that faced her now. She wondered if she was overreacting and if she should simply carry on as n
ormal and when they were both washed and dressed go down for breakfast as if nothing had happened.

  If her father was there would he forget all about what he had threatened the day before or would he still insist that she should take Kelly and get out of his house, she wondered.

  There was really only one way to find out, she decided, as she went along to have her bath and then help Kelly to wash and get dressed ready for the day.

  The morning room was empty when she and Kelly went in there. ‘What would you like to eat this morning?’ she asked Kelly as she sat her down at the table. ‘Is it to be porridge or shredded wheat or would you sooner have an egg and some toast?’

  Before Kelly could make up her mind Mr Forshaw appeared in the doorway and his look was thunderous as his gaze rested on Kelly.

  ‘Have you forgotten every word I said last night?’ he asked Penny in an angry voice.

  Penny took a deep breath before answering. ‘No, Father but I wasn’t sure if you really did mean what you said,’ she ventured in as steady a voice as she could manage.

  ‘I meant it; every word of it and you have defied me yet again. I want you and this child to leave immediately … and this time for good. Is that understood!’

  ‘Very well, we’ll go as soon as we’ve had breakfast,’ she said as calmly as she could although inwardly she was shaking. He had never threatened her before and she found it hard to believe that it was happening.

  ‘No, you will go now! You have ten minutes to pack a bag and I don’t want to see either of you back here ever again. Do you understand?’

  Penny stared at him in disbelief. ‘You can’t turn me out; this is my home. I have nowhere else to go,’ she protested spiritedly. ‘Think how upset Mother will be!’

  ‘Your mother is in complete agreement with my decision. She is staying upstairs in her bedroom until she knows you have left the house.’

  Penny felt too choked to answer. Her legs felt weak as she lifted Kelly from her chair and carried her in her arms as she went towards the door.

  ‘I’m hungry, I haven’t had any breakfast yet,’ Kelly wailed petulantly.

  ‘We’re both going out to a café for our breakfast,’ Penny mumbled, her voice shaky.

  ‘You mean because there’s nothing here for us to eat because your ma’s run out of food like mine does?’ Kelly said resignedly.

  Penny nodded but didn’t attempt to answer. Upstairs she tried to gather her wits and decide what to do. She had no idea where they could go except to Liverpool and she found it difficult to know what to take with them.

  She counted out the money she had in her purse and checked the balance in her bank book; money she had been saving to buy things for her forthcoming wedding. She wouldn’t be needing it now, she thought ruefully, then shuddered when she saw how little there was in either of them. There wasn’t enough to last them for more than a week, or two at the most, unless she could find some sort of work.

  Reaching down a brown leather suitcase from the top of the wardrobe she packed Kelly’s few items into it. Then, almost in a panic, she rammed in as many of her own clothes as she possibly could. That done she dressed Kelly in the new warm coat she’d bought for her for the coming winter and then put her mackintosh on over it.

  ‘You wait here a moment while I take these downstairs,’ she told Kelly as she picked up the suitcase and one of her own winter coats.

  Before she came back upstairs to collect Kelly she phoned for a taxi.

  As she put on her own raincoat and hat she took one last look round her bedroom. Tears came into her eyes as she saw all the many books, pictures, family photographs and other precious belongings she was being forced to leave behind. As she moved towards the door she couldn’t help wondering if she would ever see any of them again.

  Kelly seemed to be aware that something dreadful was happening and her eyes were full of fear. Much as she wanted to explain and comfort her Penny couldn’t find the right words to do so.

  There was a lump in her throat as she picked Kelly up in her arms and carried her down the stairs and settled her into the pushchair.

  Before leaving the house she looked into the dining room and the drawing room in the hope of seeing her mother but both rooms were completely empty.

  The entire house seemed to be deserted and she assumed her father was in his study. Mrs Davies and Mary had probably been ordered to stay in the kitchen and her mother must still be upstairs in her bedroom.

  ‘Can you manage to balance this on your lap?’ she asked Kelly as she loaded the suitcase on top of her. ‘It will only be for a few minutes,’ she assured her when Kelly started to grumble about being squashed.

  There was no one to say goodbye and wish them well and Penny felt as if her heart was breaking as they made their way out into Penkett Road to wait for the taxi.

  Twelve

  ‘Are you quite sure that this is the right address, miss?’ the taxi driver asked in a perplexed voice as he unloaded the pushchair and the suitcase on to the rubbish-strewn pavement in Cannon Court.

  ‘Yes, I’m quite sure,’ Penny affirmed with a brief smile. She helped Kelly into the pushchair, balanced the case on it as well, and then paid him.

  She waited until he had driven off before wedging the pushchair against a wall, picking up the suitcase and telling Kelly she would be back for her in a minute.

  She was apprehensive about what sort of reception she would get from Mrs Murphy. Her heart was thudding as she carried the suitcase down the cracked steps to the battered black door in the basement. Then she went back up and helped Kelly down the steps and then returned for the pushchair. After she had settled Kelly back into the pushchair she took a long deep breath before knocking on the door.

  Ellen Murphy opened the door with the baby in her arms and Brian and Lily clutching at her skirt. The top buttons of Ellen’s grubby blue cotton blouse were undone and the baby was clawing inside it as if it had been interrupted while feeding. Penny wondered if Ellen ever put the baby down or whether she was still clutching it and feeding it when she went to bed at night.

  ‘What do you want this time?’ Ellen rasped, pushing the baby’s hands away from her chest and struggling to fasten her blouse. ‘I thought I made it plain that I didn’t want our Kelly back here until she can do things for herself.’

  ‘I know what you said, Mrs Murphy, but the situation has changed,’ Penny said wearily. She felt tired and dispirited and the last thing she wanted was an argument.

  ‘Changed? What do you mean by that?’ Ellen Murphy asked, glancing at Kelly with a scowl on her face. ‘She still ain’t able to walk by the look of things and what’s wrong with her arm? Why has she got it in a sling?’

  ‘Kelly’s had another accident and I’m afraid she has broken her arm. Don’t worry, she’s making good progress,’ Penny added hastily, ‘and I’ll take care of her until it is better.’

  ‘So what’s this change you’re on about then?’ Ellen Murphy asked suspiciously.

  ‘I’ve left home and—’

  ‘Left home? You mean your folks have kicked you out more likely,’ Ellen sneered. ‘So where does that leave my Kelly?’

  ‘I told you I would look after her until she is better and I will keep to my promise,’ Penny told her sharply. ‘I wondered if she could stay here for a short while and I also wondered if perhaps—’

  ‘You ain’t moving in here with us so you can put that idea out of your head right away,’ Ellen interrupted.

  ‘I can assure you I have no intention of doing so. What I was hoping was that you might be able to tell me where I could rent a couple of rooms fairly cheaply.’

  ‘Its got to be on the cheap has it,’ Ellen said disparagingly.

  ‘Well yes, it will have to be somewhere at a fairly reasonable rent until I can find a job,’ Penny explained.

  ‘You mean you’ve lost your job as well as being kicked out of your home,’ Ellen said in a shocked voice.

  ‘Yes, and she’s lost her blo
ke who’s called Arnold,’ Kelly piped up. ‘I’m hungry, Ma, because her dad wouldn’t let us have any breakfast so have you got any grub?’

  ‘You mean all this has happened today and your folks have turned you out all because of you looking after my Kelly?’ Ellen Murphy exclaimed a look of disbelief on her face.

  ‘I’m afraid so. Now, can you tell me where I might find some accommodation?’

  Ellen Murphy humped the baby on to her other arm. ‘Not really, not the sort of place where you’d want to live,’ she said slowly.

  ‘Surely there must be some place you can recommend, someone you know who has a couple of rooms they would be willing to rent out,’ Penny persisted.

  Ellen shook her head; then her face brightened. ‘Old Ma Reilly might take you in. She’s very good-hearted and she’s known all of us for years,’ she added.

  ‘Give me her address then and I’ll go and see her and find out if we can stay there.’

  ‘You can leave Kelly here while you do that just so long as you comes back for her,’ Ellen Murphy said grudgingly.

  ‘No, I’ll take her with me and my suitcase as well so that this Mrs Reilly knows exactly what to expect.’

  ‘She knows our Kelly and what happened to her so she won’t need any explaining to be done. In fact, Ma Reilly knows about most things that go on around here. It’s because she’m very well in with Father O’Flynn even though she doesn’t go to Mass as often as she should.’

  Blenheim Road was only a short distance away but Ma Reilly’s terraced house was completely different from the Murphy’s in Cannon Court.

  The two steps leading up to the front door were scrubbed and whitened, the brass knocker and the letterbox shone like gold and the windowpanes gleamed like crystal. Lace curtains protected the privacy of the occupants from anyone standing at the front door.

  Penny parked the pushchair at the bottom of the steps and told Kelly to sit still as she would only be a few minutes. When she knocked on the door she saw the lace curtains twitch slightly so she knew someone was in.