Longboard (Desk Surfing Series Book 1)

by Davila Eggert

  "And now I want to turn it over to our associate, Dawn Krizman," said Malia. There was no applause. It was a sit down meeting. I'm sure the committee was surprised at an Asian-looking girl with the name Dawn Krizman. It sounded like a white girl. But my dad's Slovene last name and my mom's Pacific Islander and Chinese roots clashed like blonde hair and dark roots. I know because I used to dye blonde. I let the committee members go figure. I was about to nail that presentation to the table. And send Longboard a metaphor. Malia turned the laptop in my direction.

  "Thank you, Malia." That was how I started off. I didn't start like a regular slide show. I started with the opposite of what I wanted to talk about, people being too liberal with their cash. I talked about the 2008 Financial Crisis and how people ended up underwater. I only wish I had a meme or some cool slide to show a 4-bedroom house sinking or some dude driving a submarine home because his house was underwater. I then went on to explain how our KW Queen Assets Fund targeted businesses with ultra-low debt. I reminded the committee that just preceding the Great Recession, ratings agencies had a gold star glued on every kind of mortgage product. Obviously, that wasn't the case. I went into how we did our diligence and the strategy behind looking at and investing in ultra-low debt businesses. Most ultra-low debt businesses were small. Larger companies usually had to take on debt because of experimenting with new products to grab new customers. And they had quick product cycles, which meant sometimes they needed a bit more cash than what was on hand. That's why they had to borrow. I used the example of Coke doing Coke Zero and Pepsi doing Pepsi Max. When Coke and Diet Coke became mature products, Coke had to switch up their product mix. That takes market research and time for product development and marketing. Smaller companies usually grow with the same business model and products. They just try to reach more customers, through expansion.

  I went back to college Economics 101. I laid out how smaller companies were most at risk in a competitive environment. They had to be better managed than big companies. But because most firms didn't bother to look at the data involving smaller companies, there were a lot of opportunities. They were hidden under rocks, but our expertise was looking under rocks. And we favored smaller companies with virtually no debt, because they were primed for growth without debt as a drawback. Then I asked the question.

  "Which company to you expect to double in size in the next three years: Apple or PilikiaFree.com?" Well you might be inclined to say Apple because at least you've heard of it. But PilikiaFree.com you've most likely never heard of." I looked across the table to see if any eyes lit up. Apparently, none of the committee members knew anything about PilikiaFree.

  "Those of you familiar with the native Hawaiian language may know that pilikia means 'trouble' so the site's name is meant to imply that it's trouble free to do business on the site. They started out as a retailer on Amazon Marketplace but then continued to have their own outlet here on O'ahu. They sell second hand specialized gear, like Garmin navigation systems, sonar systems and even GoPro equipment. They have technicians who can repair and certify the equipment themselves because they have certification agreements with the companies whose products they deal with. And they resell for much below the price of a new device. It's a win-win because PilikiaFree has great relations with the companies they work with, so they help large companies control their product quality in the second-hand market or aftermarket goods. PilikiaFree grew its business at 24% last year. Apple can't get much bigger but PilikiaFree can. And its continued growth would spell continued payout for retirees. That's what we're looking for, growing companies that will increase payouts for the long-term. The large companies that steer the US economy today are not necessarily going to be at the ship's wheel tomorrow. PilikiaFree might never be at the ship's wheel but we don't need it to be. And we're not expecting that. We just need it to continue to run its business as professionally as they are and not taking on too much debt. We've met with the guy in charge at PilikiaFree and he's in line with our goals of having well-managed small companies that stay out of debt. And the interesting thing is that our Queen Assets Fund isn't even invested in PilikiaFree.com. We know what we know by way of doing our due diligence. So far we have twenty-seven companies in our Queen Assets Fund. And all of them have been vetted with higher scrutiny than PilikiaFree. And all meet our criteria of having zero or next to no debt. Another advantage that we believe we have with our Queen Assets Fund is that we only invest in US companies. Not that we don't keep an eye on international markets but we don't like to get involved in obscure regulatory environments. Plus, we recognize with global integration, most US-based companies do have business overseas. So all twenty-seven of the companies in the Queen Assets Fund are right here at home and fourteen are local Hawaiian businesses that do business in Asia. If I've peeked your interest I want to remind you that there's more in store. Just let us know."

  The last line was subliminally directed at Longboard. If his conscious mind didn't grab it, I'm sure his subconscious could take a hint. I'm a woman, so I'm not calling expertise on what guys are thinking. But there's no way he could've been slamming me on his desk the night before and it slipped his mind twelve hours later. I didn't sit because I wasn't standing. But I got the equivalent of an applause. It was a sit-down conference, so no one really clapped their hands. But I got the equivalent. One of the men, the oldest looking one, said he found my presentation informative. His statements were echoed by two of his colleagues: One male; one female. Longboard had his turn next and he was a bit dry in my opinion. But it was about the business, all business. And that technique had worked for Longboard for his entire career. The leader of the committee group, Mr. Hoshino, stood up.

  "Mr. Kiewei, we are very satisfied. We normally get a lot of fluff. But that was meat and potatoes," said Mr. Hoshino.

  "Thank you," said Longboard.

  "We are glad to have your company as part of our portfolio and we are interested to talk more about your products here," said Hoshino, "We are especially interested in the Queen Assets Fund as articulated by Ms. Krizman." Win. I tuned out after that. I just nodded my head when my name was mentioned. Longboard was the first from our side of the table to get up and open the door. Everyone from the committee took their pens and paper tablets with them. They all left the water bottles, all but one. I stood behind Malia, as Longboard lead the train of committee members out the door. Malia followed and I was last. I was the caboose of the train all the way out the door. Longboard, being the boss, had to supervise the business, so he didn't ride down in the elevator with the committee members. Because my name was mentioned specifically. And because I didn't want to be left standing next to Longboard, I made the executive decision to ride down in the elevator as well. With seven people, it was a tight fit but we managed. Hoshino was an old hand at business. He didn't really add to his comments. He remained silent. As we reached the bottom, hands were shaken and the committee members left.

  Chapter 3

  The elevator left without Malia and me, so we had to wait before going back up. Luckily, we got an elevator to ourselves. As soon as the doors closed, Malia put her hand up flat. I slapped it.

  "I open it up," said Malia, "You close it out."

  "We're like the Dynamic Duo of Key Way Insurance."

  "I think we are," said Malia.

  "We gotta celebrate."

  "For shizzle," said Malia.

  "You think they really meant what they said?"

  "They don't seem like the type to bullshit," said Malia.

  "I get that impression too. Classy like, Hoshino had that man's man type of swagger. Like John Wayne, shoot straight, talk straight mojo."

  "Maybe he played it up cuz of his stature," said Malia, "Short guys are always trying to walk tall."

  "They are. You know what?"

  "What?" said Malia.

  "I'm meeting a girlfriend of mine for drinks at Ginger Snap on Friday, you should come through and join us."

  "I'm down," said Malia.
<
br />   "Awesome." Somehow the moment required another giddy high five.

  "Good job today girl," said Malia.

  "You too." The elevator door opened. We both walked off the elevator, as if the committee members were still with us, chin up and back straight--like we worked in an office. I went back to my quad and Malia went back to hers. The rest of the day wasn't exactly primetime for getting stuff done. As far as I was concerned, everything I had to do that day was done. Malia seemed equally checked out. It wasn't about clock management. It was just clock watching. I had four of them at my disposal: the one on the wall; the one on my desk; the one on my desktop and the one on my wrist. As soon as five o'clock rolled around, I grabbed my purse, wiggled my toes back into my ballerina flats and headed for the elevators out in the hall. I was standing in front of the elevators, when I saw Longboard coming out of the door of the office. There were only two firms on our floor, Key Way Insurance and Edel Point Financial. Edel Point was a collection agency for people delinquent on their credit cards. In fact, the office services room shared a wall with Edel Point and you could sometimes hear yelling and screaming coming from their side. The elevators split the corridor between Edel Point and us. But the restrooms were on Edel Point's side. Longboard had to walk passed me to get to the restrooms, which is where he was going. I took in a long inaudible breath as he got closer to me. My heart skipped a long beat. I was waiting for the elevator to give me a reason to move. The pain in my chest was sharp, even after my heart came back online. I tried to hold my posture to look unsullied.

  "Way to go today, Dawn," said Longboard.

  "Thanks." That was an automatic response. Longboard kept going but he walked unnecessarily close to me. He didn't touch me, but I could feel the stir in my blouse and skirt. Longboard was kind of a big guy. He made waves as he walked by. You only noticed if you were standing still and he passed by close enough. I walked beside him a lot. But that was the first time I registered him passing behind me. I had no excuse but to stand there and let it happen. Ironically, the elevator came right after he passed by. I felt like I had to say something.

  "See you tomorrow."

  "See you tomorrow," said Longboard, disappearing around the corner. It was the most bittersweet day in my recent memory. I started my day running to the conference room to make sure impressions of my boobs weren't smeared on the whiteboard. The meat of my day was getting a mention by name from Mr. Hoshino, Chairman of the O'ahu Division of the Hawaii State Coastal Resource Commission. And the icing on the cake was Longboard telling me I did a good job. It was like being texted after a hot date, instead of being called. But I've learned not to read too much into a text message. That's why I didn't. I just guessed Longboard was happy with the Committee's reaction to our presentation. Even though I was mentioned by name, Malia and Longboard presented as well. I'm guessing Malia had a good open. I was tuned out and tone deaf to Malia's voice. I don't know why but I didn't like her presentation voice. It was like she was asking, Do you want me to suck your dick? Do ya? Do ya? Maybe it was just the jealous bitch in me. Malia had never done anything to me personally and we worked well together, when we had to. But she wasn't one of my girls like in high school and college. I was cliquish and when I had my girls around me, I felt invincible. Every time Malia was around my instincts said Halt! Friend or Foe? I didn't know. That was my problem with her. But I wanted her to be on my team. Because my clique had all but split up.

  My girls from high school all had island fever and left the Island after graduation. That was the thing to do back in the early aughts, to go to school outside Hawaii. My friend, Mallory, got accepted to the Air Force Academy and shipped off to Colorado Springs. She became all about her Air Force career and travelling all over the world. We still emailed every once and a while. She was my girl, tall and athletic. I used to love yelling Go Mallory! at track meets. She was good, always near the front. That was my girl. But they all left: Mallory, Amy and Erin--my crew--all but Jessie. So I hung out with Mainland girls in college at Manoa. I figured if people arrived on the Island from somewhere else, they were likely to stay. And I could be the Alpha of the group because I was local and none of them knew a thing about Hawaii. We were just three: me, Nicole and Bridget. Jessie stayed in Honolulu but she went to Honolulu Community College so we didn't see each other as much. It was kind of an out of sight, out of mind thing. She was around but I was going to parties with people from Manoa. I could have invited her but I guess I always felt like it would be awkward with me knowing everyone. I was a social butterfly. Jessie was more introverted but she socialized. So I guess I just assumed she found her fit at HCC. I did show up with gifts for her birthday though, always.

  Jessie was on my mind as I drove home. Since I invited Malia to Ginger Snap for drinks with me and Jessie, I had to tell Jessie what I wanted to tell her over the phone. I couldn't say it, in front of Malia. I pulled in my carport with an orange skyline reflecting off of my bedroom window. My bedroom was just above the carport. I liked it because if I needed to escape because of a fire or intruder, I could just grab my keys and jump out the window on top of the carport and jump down from there. I'd be gone, no close call at all. I rang Jessie, as I walked up the wooden steps to my deck but she didn't answer. I made a smoothie while I waited: bananas, plain Greek yogurt, peanut butter, cinnamon and unsweetened cocoa powder. That was my jam. And I didn't have to call Jessie back she ended up calling me back.

  "Hey."

  "What's up?" said Jessie.

  "Hey, let me call you back from the house phone, so we don't have any connectivity issues."

  "You're home?" said Jessie.

  "Yep, just got here."

  "Cool, call me back," said Jessie.

  "K...Hey, can you hear me?"

  "Loud and clear," said Jessie.

  "Lucky I'm like the only person in O'ahu with a landline still."

  "My grandma still has a landline," said Jessie.

  "Thanks. Maybe she'll finally let me in her bridge club."

  "Careful what you wish for," said Jessie, "She'll kick your ass at some bridge. Grandma don't play."

  "I know."

  "What story was this you texted me up about?" asked Jessie.

  "You know Hank, my boss, right?"

  "Yeah, I know of him," said Jessie.

  "Ok, so last night I was working late, like really late because it was...w-we had this presentation today with these committee members who have an insurance policy that we reinsure. So we had to give them the breakdown on our business and revenues and that. But I had to make the pitch for our Queen Assets Fund. It's an investment fund of local companies. So last night I'm at the office going over my slides for my PowerPoint. I'm so serious about this presentation that I don't even really notice how late it is or that no one else is in the office. Hank invites me into his office cuz he says he wants a second opinion on these new logo designs because the current design we have is from like 2001 and he wants to change it up. So I'm like it'll only take a second to tell him which one I like best right? I'm almost oblivious but while I'm looking at the logo designs he starts rubbing the back of my leg. At first I'm like, it's an incidental thing. But he keeps going and then he rubs his hands over my butt. Then he stops. I guess he's like giving me this subliminal window that I can run through but I don't. I go with it. I'm still looking at these logos cuz he's my boss and I genuinely want to give him a valid opinion on what the logo should be. Plus, this thing is gonna be big on the wall like where the one is now and I'm gonna have to stare at that shit, while I'm at work so I'm not leaving shit to chance. And then he undoes my bra through my blouse which is just hot as hell. I don't flinch, I just turn around and say either the second or fourth one but I would go with the second it's more class--and I don't even finish because he starts kissing me. And I've seen him walking so many times and I've seen how his pants are always resisting something between his legs. You know what I mean. They're just folding and finding ways around it. So I'm not gonna let
him verify what his eyes see without me doing the same, so I just grabbed his junk. And I held my hand on top of his shit and I could feel this thing growing in my hand like shaving cream when you spray it on your legs. You see how it grows when it comes out. It felt like that looks---why you laugh?"

  "I don't use cream. I use gel," said Jessie.

  "Well, cream is cheaper. I use the shit guys use. I just grab a can o' Barbasol from the bottom shelf and get done with it. We already pay more for products in Hawaii, why pay more than you have to for being a girl?"

  "You do what you gotta do," said Jessie, "But what happened with Hank?"

  "It happened on his desk."

  "Seriously?" said Jessie.

  "Absolutely."

  "Woooooow!" said Jessie.

  "He wasn't done there. We went to the conference room and he used a red marker to paint my boobs red. Then he did me from behind against the whiteboard. When it was done he was staring at the impression my boobs made on the board. There were like these red smear marks on the board and he was just fixated on them."