Big Package

by Opal Carew

  It was a cold but clear evening. Kalen’s leather-gloved hand encircled Holly’s and she squeezed. He leaned in and gave her a quick kiss. When they began to walk, she couldn’t help noticing June’s happy smile.

  “It’s only a few blocks from here,” Kalen said. “They always pick a location near the university.”

  When they arrived at the party, it was well underway. Lots of people filled the house.

  “Hey, Kalen.” A few women waved at him and walked toward them.

  Holly recognized them as part of Kalen’s crowed from high school. They’d all been cheerleaders, and very popular. They’d probably also slept with Kalen.

  But he was with her now, so she wouldn’t be jealous.

  Kalen introduced the women to Holly, June, and Tom. June realized she knew one of their sisters and that started a conversation. A few more people joined their group. Two were friends of Kalen’s from the football team at school and another was a woman Holly didn’t know. June and Tom were quite comfortable talking to all these people, but Holly felt out of place. These were the popular kids from her school and they all had gone to college and started good careers.

  But she reminded herself that Kalen thought she was worth being with . . . worth falling in love with . . . and that gave her confidence.

  After a few minutes, Kalen tugged on Holly’s hand and guided her to an area that had been cleared as a dance floor, then drew her close. The song playing was slow and sweet.

  “Sorry, I couldn’t stand not having you in my arms any longer.”

  “No need to apologize.” She snuggled closer. “This is where I want to be. Right here with you.”

  “I got the feeling you weren’t really comfortable with that group.”

  “I was a little self-conscious. I mean, I always felt like such a loser back in high school. But I’ve come a long way since then.” She smiled. “And here with you . . . well, no one could call me a loser now.”

  He tipped her head up and his serious expression unsettled her.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “That’s not why I want to be with you. I mean, the way I feel about you has nothing to do with that.”

  He shook his head. “Sweetheart, I’m not worried that you’re using me to be accepted by the cool kids.” His midnight eyes were filled with sadness. “It just breaks my heart that you ever felt that way about yourself.”

  The compassion in his eyes almost broke her heart. She rested her head on his shoulder, tightening her arms around him as they kept moving to the music.

  “If you want to leave the party . . .”

  She shook her head. “Thank you, but . . .” She gazed at him with a smile. “Let’s not give up on it yet. I’m sure it’ll be fun.”

  She wasn’t about to ruin his good time because of her insecurities. And this would be great practice exercising her new sense of self-worth.

  They danced to several more songs then circulated around the house. She met a lot of people and had some interesting conversations. She was struck by how much their shared memories from college gave them a sense of community.

  A new song started and the couple she and Kalen had been talking to excused themselves to dance. Kalen led her to the nearby window seat and they sat down.

  “You seem awfully quiet. What are you thinking about?” Kalen asked.

  She smiled. “I’ve actually been thinking that maybe I should go to college after all.”

  “Here in Ottawa?”

  “Yes, my sister’s been pushing me to do it for years and Tom told me if I enroll in the Graphic Design program, he’d definitely hire me when I graduate. He has his own company and wants someone with those skills on his marketing team.”

  “I think that’s a fabulous idea. And not just because it brings you here to Ottawa. What about your house in River Rapids?”

  She pursed her lips. “I don’t know if I’m totally ready for this yet but . . . I think it’s time I let go of old memories and start making some new ones.”

  He smiled and drew her into a big hug.

  “I think that’s fantastic, and whatever help or support you need, I’m here for you.”

  Her heart thudded with happiness. With his support, she was sure she could do anything.

  “Thank you.” She squeezed him tightly, then eased back. “All I need right now is another drink.”

  He took her empty glass. “I’ll just be a minute.”

  Holly scanned the room and saw June and Tom chatting with a group of people by the fireplace.

  “Holly, right?”

  Holly glanced around and realized Darlene Milton from high school—in a too-tight red dress with her cleavage popping out—had just sat down beside her. She was surprised the woman even knew her name. She’d always treated Holly as if she were totally invisible in school.

  “You and Kalen seem pretty close,” Darlene said.

  “We’re seeing each other.”

  “Just some friendly advice: Don’t get used to it.”

  Holly’s back stiffened. “What do you mean?”

  “Kalen and I have been dating for almost a year.”

  “Really? You expect me to believe he’s dating you, but he brought me to this party?”

  “He didn’t know I’d be here. I wasn’t supposed to be back in town until the new year.”

  Holly sent her a cold stare. “I think you’re lying. He wouldn’t bring me to a party where you have shared friends if you two were dating.”

  Darlene sighed. “Okay, you’re right. This is embarrassing, but it’s like this. We broke up before Christmas because . . .” She stared down at her drink. “Well, I found out he was cheating on me.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Oh, God. Holly’s chest tightened.

  “I’m sure you can imagine how much that hurt.” Darlene gazed at Holly, her eyes glazed with moisture, her fingers twisting around the stem of her glass. “It really sucks, I won’t kid you, but . . .” She bit her lip. “Have you ever loved someone so much that you couldn’t stand the thought of living without him? No matter how he treats you? Everything in me tells me I should just walk away, but . . .” She shook her head, her eyes wide and vulnerable. “I love him and I want to try and make it work.”

  Holly just stared at her. Darlene’s words and the appeal in her eyes tore at Holly’s heart. She’d always thought a popular girl like Darlene was hard as nails inside and totally confident, but in Darlene’s eyes she saw the reflection of her own doubts and lack of self-worth.

  “I’m sorry about the way I came across at the beginning,” Darlene said. “I was trying to drive you away. But I thought you should know.”

  Holly just nodded, unable to find words. Her heart ached and she stood up.

  “I’m . . . sorry,” Holly finally uttered, then turned and headed for the door.

  Holly walked along the sidewalk, pulling her collar up against the brisk air. Moonlight glimmered on the crisp snow and streetlights lit the residential street.

  She felt numb inside. Kalen had cheated on his previous girlfriend. And if he’d done it once, there was no reason to believe he wouldn’t do it again. She’d always believed that past behavior was the best indicator of future behavior. And if he’d cheated before . . . she’d suffered that kind of pain and didn’t want to experience it again. And with Kalen it would be so much worse.

  But the woman could be lying. With everything she knew about Kalen . . . what she’d learned about him in the past few days . . . it was hard to believe he could do such a thing. He’d been so sweet and loving with Holly. He’d remembered things about her from high school. He’d bought her the chain for her grandma’s locket.

  Everything he’d done and said . . . the way he’d been with her . . . all seemed genuine.

  But was it too good to be true?

  If he was such a great guy, why hadn’t someone snatched him up by now?

  Maybe what Darlene had said about him was true.

  Her cell bleeped. She pulled it
from her pocket and checked. It was a text from June.

  Where are you? Someone said you left the party.

  She dialed June’s number.

  “Hi,” she said when June answered. “Sorry, but I had to get some air.”

  “Something’s wrong. What is it?”

  Damn, June always knew.

  Kalen watched June listen to Holly on the phone. He’d been concerned when he couldn’t find her after he’d returned with her drink, especially when he found Darlene sitting in the window seat.

  He’d asked her where Holly had gone and Darlene just said she’d left. Darlene’s mood was somber and he was already racked with guilt about how his actions had hurt her, so he didn’t push her to find out what had been said. He simply went to find June.

  “You don’t believe her, do you?” June asked. “She’s probably just trying to get rid of the competition.”

  As she listened, June’s gaze turned to Kalen and the ice in her eyes chilled him to the bone.

  “Okay, well, I think you should talk to him. Give him a chance to explain.”

  Damn it. What the hell had Darlene told her?

  “Honey, he’s right here.” June’s fingers tightened around the phone. “He was as worried as I was about you.” She nodded. “Well, then, let Tom and me come and take you home.” She gripped the phone tighter. “Okay, I understand.”

  She put her phone away and glared at Kalen. Tom glanced from one to the other.

  “What did she say?” Kalen asked.

  “She said that you cheated on your last girlfriend.”

  “What?” His gut clenched. “I can’t believe she said that.”

  “Now Holly thinks everything you told her was a lie,” June continued. “That you never cared about her. That it was all just an act to get her into bed. Then when you lose interest, you’ll just move on.”

  “She told you that?”

  “No, but I know my sister.” June leaned toward him, fire in her eyes. “All the growth she’s done . . . the way seeing you built up her self-esteem . . . that’s all been undone.”

  The sadness in her eyes gnawed at him.

  “June, I swear to you, I never cheated on Darlene. Or anyone else. Please, tell me where Holly is.”

  June shook her head. “She said she wanted some space.”

  “But I want to explain . . . I want to make things right.” At June’s hesitation, he continued. “Isn’t it better she know the real story? Then she can decide.”

  June glanced at her husband and Tom gave her a slight nod.

  “Okay.” Then her eyes flared and she waved a finger in Kalen’s face. “But if you hurt my sister any more than you already have, you’ll be sorry.”

  Kalen saw Holly sitting on the bench ahead. Her breath was like misty puffs of smoke in the cold air. She saw him coming and he half-expected her to lurch to her feet and stride away. But she didn’t.

  “Hello, Holly.”

  “Hello, Kalen.” Her voice was as cold as the air around them.

  He sat down on the bench beside her. “What Darlene told you about me cheating on her, it’s not true.”

  “Really?” Her eyebrow arched. “Something happened between the two of you that hurt her.”

  “Look, the first thing I want you to understand is that everything that happened between you and me, it’s genuine. I care about you so much it hurts.”

  “What happened between you and Darlene?” she demanded, ignoring his words.

  Not that he blamed her. How could she know they were true?

  He folded his gloved hands and stared at them.

  “You know the problem I have with women . . . about my . . . size. I’ve been rejected by so many women, and it’s hard sometimes. When I find a woman who can . . . deal with it . . . it’s hard not to want to keep seeing her. Even if things aren’t . . .” He shrugged.

  “If they aren’t what?”

  His gaze turned to hers. “If there’s nothing more to the relationship than sex. Darlene and I dated and . . . things worked physically between us. It was so nice being with a woman who I could actually share intimacy with that I ignored the fact that there would never be anything really serious between us.”

  “So you’re saying you stayed with her just for the sex.”

  His stomach clenched and he nodded, guilt stabbing through him.

  “I hated that I was doing it and I finally realized I wasn’t being fair. I know she wanted marriage . . . a family. I didn’t want to waste her time, so I ended it with her.”

  Holly glared at him. “So you think that’s better? You led this woman on just to keep having sex with her? So what? When the opportunity arose when we were stranded in the cabin, you figured you’d charm me with lies so I’d fall into bed with you. Then when you found out I could handle you, you lied about how you felt about me so I’d keep on fucking you?”

  “No, Holly—”

  But she shot to her feet and charged away. He leaped up and followed her, grasping her arm before she could get away. He turned her around to face him.

  “Holly. It wasn’t like that. And as guilty as I feel at how long I let it go with Darlene, I was always straight with her. I told her from the beginning that I wasn’t interested in a serious relationship with her. That we were strictly friends with benefits. But as soon as I saw the signs she was falling for me, that she wanted more, I should have ended it.” His fist clenched. “I was weak. I didn’t want to be alone again. So I didn’t. And now she’s paying the price.”

  “And your relationship with her meant so little to you that you didn’t even count her when I asked if you had a recent girlfriend.”

  “I didn’t count her as a romantic relationship—”

  “You lied. About that and I don’t know what else.”

  Holly frowned, her brown eyes giving nothing away.

  Then she tugged her arm from his grasp and strode away.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Holly sipped her coffee, having just finished the large breakfast Tom had made for the three of them.

  “So what are you going to do?” June asked.

  Holly knew her sister was asking about Kalen, but she ignored that.

  “I’ve been thinking long and hard about this and . . . I think I’m going to take your advice and move to Ottawa. I’ll apply to Carleton for the fall, and if the offer’s still on the table, I’ll move in with you for a while.”

  June’s jaw dropped open and Holly sipped her coffee again, waiting for that to sink into her sister’s brain.

  “So you’ve decided to make a go of it with Kalen?” June asked.

  “I didn’t say that. I’ve simply decided that it’s time to move forward with my life. To take risks. Even if things don’t go as I expect, or I get hurt, standing still is no way to live. So I’m going to put myself out there and go after what I want. And I want an education and a better career.” She smiled. “And I want to be with my family. Because I love you guys.”

  June was on her feet and threw her arms around Holly.

  “Oh, Holly, we love you, too.”

  Holly felt wetness on her sister’s face.

  “June, what’s wrong?”

  June drew back, her face all smiles, even though tears were streaming from her eyes.

  “I . . . it’s nothing. It’s just . . . hormones.”

  “Hormones? Are you saying that . . .” Holly glanced at Tom and his smile was bright and broad. “Are you pregnant?”

  Tom nodded.

  “Oh, my God, June. That’s wonderful.”

  She hugged June tightly again, her heart swelling at the fact that she’d soon have a new niece or nephew.

  “You know, instead of waiting until the fall to move here, you could come right away,” Tom suggested. “I need another person on staff, so you’d have work. And of course you can stay with us. I know June would love to have you here during the pregnancy.”

  “Of course. I’ll give my notice as soon as I get home.”
>
  She couldn’t believe it. She was going to move to a new city. Hell, a new country. And she was going to be an aunt. She decided right then and there that she would sell the house. She’d considered renting it out, but she knew she had to take risks, and let go of the past.

  It was time to make new memories.

  Two long days had gone by since Kalen had seen Holly and his heart ached. He had texted her every day, and called, but she hadn’t responded.

  He wouldn’t let it end here. He’d drive back to River Rapids and camp on her doorstep if he had to.

  A knock sounded at the door and he stood up and walked toward it. When he peered through the peephole, shock jolted through him.

  He pulled open the door.

  “Holly.”

  “May I come in?”

  “Of course.”

  As she stepped into his apartment, he wanted to grab her and pull her into his arms. To hold her close and kiss her.

  But he had to give her space. Let her say what she’d come here to say. He just prayed he’d be able to persuade her to give them a chance.

  “How are you?” he asked as he closed the door.

  “I’m fine.” She unzipped her coat and he slipped it from her shoulders, then hung it up as she took off her boots.

  She wore a long-sleeved black dress that set off her curves nicely. His gaze locked on the sway of her hips as she walked into the living room.

  “I just found out June and Tom are having a baby.” She sat down on the couch.

  “That’s wonderful.” He sat beside her, needing to be close to her.

  “I’m pretty excited about it. It’ll be a whole new person in the world for me to love. I think that’s a wonderful thing. Don’t you?”

  He gazed into her gleaming brown eyes and his breath caught. The way she looked at him . . . Was it his imagination or was that love shining in her eyes?

  “Holly, about what happened the other night. I know you think I’m the kind of man who will lie to get a woman into bed with me, but it’s not true. And nothing I ever said to you was a lie. You make me feel things that no one else does. I’ve always been drawn to you, and now I understand why. We’re a damn good fit. And I’d do anything to convince you that I’m worthy of taking a chance on.”