by Sienna Blake
“But if I hadn’t—”
“It. Was. Not. Your. Fault. You hear me? It wasn’t your fault.” Killian keeps repeating these words. Over and over. I can see the war going on in Aiden, playing out across his face, his long-calloused guilt fighting with the strength and conviction of Killian’s words.
Finally Aiden’s shoulders sag and his head falls, accepting absolution from his eldest brother.
Killian clasps his brother in a hug, my heart warming at the sight.
When they pull away, Killian gives Aiden a few manly pats on the shoulder. “I know I can be a hard-ass sometimes.”
“Sometimes?”
Kilian lets out a snort. “Okay, fine. Most of the time.”
They share a grin.
“But don’t ever feel like you can’t tell me anything. Or Fionn.”
Aiden nods. “I know now.”
I quietly close the door, count to ten, then open it, walking into the bedroom as if I hadn’t been eavesdropping.
The two brothers turn towards me, their eyes going down the length of my light pink silk nightie. It’s demure enough, loose and falling to my mid-thigh. But the way they both look at me, I may have been wearing Victoria’s Secret underwear.
Theo never looked at me like this.
I feel so gorgeous.
Stunning.
And they both look incredible. I eye their hard, chiseled abs, their firm broad chests, their strong muscled arms born from honest, hard farm labor. And those delicious V muscles that disappear into their loose cotton pants.
My body heats and I feel my nipples harden against the thin silk. I’m sure they both can see them poking out in the dim light of the bedside lamp.
And I’m supposed to get into bed with them. Both of them.
How the hell am I just supposed to sleep next to them?
Killian moves first, pulling back the covers of the huge king-sized bed so I can slip in.
“Thank you,” I say, my voice coming out croaky. My throat feels like I’ve swallowed a lump, my mouth dry and my palms sweaty.
I slide into the center of the mattress, lying on my back, pulling the covers to my chin as the two brothers slip in on either side of me—Killian on my right, Aiden on my left. The two of them curl into me. Killian slides a hand on my thigh, pulling my leg closer towards him until our legs are touching, he leaves his hand there and I slide my hand over his. Our fingers entwine. Aiden curls his arm around my waist and nestles his face against my shoulder.
I am surrounded on both sides by two beautiful, warm men. Two men I care so very much for, and if I’m honest with myself, I’ve already fallen for.
I feel wanted.
Loved.
The only piece missing…is Fionn.
I send out a prayer to wherever he ended up tonight that he is safe. And that he comes home to me—to us—soon.
Killian
I never believed I could love someone after Lauren. But here I am watching Savannah Wolff sleeping, Aiden’s arm across her flat, toned stomach, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more beautiful.
I can see the way that Aiden looks at her. Like she is the sun. She makes him alive. She gave him the courage to speak again. For this, I will always love her. No matter what happens.
It’s the only reason that I said yes to this to start with. But lying here in bed, waking up next to her, it warms my soul to know my brother, my blood, is also loving her too.
I think it was one of the scars that formed in me from my parents’ accident that the ones you love can be taken from you at any moment. What if I loved someone, gave them my heart and they were taken from me? Even worse, what if I was taken from them and they were left alone? The idea of destroying the person I loved by leaving them behind was worse than the idea of death.
But with Savannah being loved by Aiden, too…he’ll protect her if anything happens to me. He’ll look after her when I’m gone.
I never thought I’d be lying next to her in between my brother and me. I never thought this was a situation I’d be comfortable with. But lying here feels right. Although, something feels…missing.
Fionn.
My family feels un-whole without Fionn.
Savannah’s eyelashes flutter. Her brilliant blue eyes open to the ceiling. She glances left to Aiden, now waking too, then over to me. Our eyes lock.
“Morning,” she says to me in her sweet voice, thick with sleep.
My chest tightens. I want to wake up like this every morning for the rest of my life.
“What the fuck is going on?” a hard male voice demands from the bedroom door.
I turn my head, my muscles read to defend Savannah with my life until I see it’s Fionn standing there.
I feel the mattress shift as Savannah sits up, and I hear her gasping. “Fionn. It’s not what it looks like.”
The three of us are clothed. Anyone could see that if they looked closely. But Fionn, it appears, has already made up his mind about what had happened between the three of us, his face twisted in disgust. Fionn shakes his head and turns to leave.
“Fionn,” Savannah says. “Please don’t go.”
Fionn scowls over his shoulder at the three of us. “There’s no room for me in that bed,” he spits out.
Suddenly his anger makes sense. He’s not disgusted. He feels left out. Like the three of us shared something that he wasn’t a part of.
He storms from the bedroom and disappears, his footsteps smacking along the corridor floor.
“Fionn.” Savannah’s voice is filled with pain and it tears me up to hear it. Savannah shuffles down the bed to try to go after him.
I’m faster. I swing my legs out of the bed, ready to chase Fionn down and make him apologize for causing Savannah distress.
“Fionn, stop being so childish, for fuck’s sake,” I call out after him.
Before I reach the bedroom door, I feel a strong hand on my upper arm.
It’s Aiden.
“Let me talk to him,” he says. “He’ll listen to me.”
When the three of us were kids it was always a competition between Fionn and me. I think he hated that I was the eldest and always just a little bit bigger than him. Aiden always played the peacemaker, the diplomat, even then. I might be the head, Fionn the heart, but Aiden was the blood that ran in the veins of this family. He was the force that kept us together.
I nod. And step aside to let Aiden go after Fionn.
Savannah runs up to me and collapses into my arms. “Killian, what if Aiden can’t convince him? What if Fionn leaves and never comes back?”
I rub her back and make shushing noises to calm her, part of me trying to convince myself as well as her. “It’ll be fine. Aiden will know what to say. Fionn will come back.”
I hope.
Fionn
I bang open the front door of the farmhouse and stomp down the front steps into the early morning glare.
The sight of the three of them—Killian, Savannah and Aiden—in that bed, all tangled up together…the way that Savannah was looking at Killian. All these things drove spikes into my chest.
They hadn’t cared that I’d left last night. In fact, it worked out better for them, didn’t it? They fit in that bed. There was no room for me.
Killian and Aiden always had a bond that didn’t include me. I was always the odd one out. The black sheep. The one who tried to be stronger but could never be as strong as Killian. Or as smart. Or the natural leader. The one who tried to be kind but who could never be as kind as Aiden. Or as open and good-natured.
The only role left for me to play was the joker. The irresponsible one. The fuck-up.
“Fionn, wait.”
I recognize Aiden’s voice behind me.
God.
Aiden.
It’s been almost a decade since he stopped talking. And now he was talking as if a decade of silence had never happened.
I can’t walk away from my baby brother when he is trying to speak to me. I am angr
y but his voice—so foreign yet so familiar—tickles a soft place inside of me.
I halt as if Aiden’s voice controls me. But I don’t turn around, a silent rebellion.
Aiden walks around me so that he’s facing me, standing in between my car and me.
“Please come back inside,” he says.
My hands grip into fists.
“I’m not wanted,” I spit out, bitterness on my tongue.
“You are. It’s not right without you.”
“You all looked cozy enough without me.”
Aiden gives me a pained look. “Fionn.”
“How can you be okay with this?” I blurt out. “How can you stand to watch him touch her? To watch anyone else touch her?”
“Because…I love her. She needs all three of us to be happy, Fionn.”
I bristle. If I were enough, she’d just want me. But I’m not.
“I know you love her, too,” Aiden says. “It’s why you’re so angry. So jealous.”
“I’m not jealous,” I snap, the irony of my reaction dawning on me soon after. I let out a breath. “Fine. I’m jealous.”
“We’re not here to take her away from you. Just because she loves Killian and me doesn’t mean she loves you any less.”
“How can you say that?”
“Do you love Killian more than me? Or me more than him?”
“Of course not.”
“Do you think Ma and Da loved one of us more than the other?”
“That’s different.”
“How is it different? Love is love. Family is family.”
“But Ma wasn’t screwing anyone else. Just Da.”
“Is that all you feel for Savannah? You just want to screw her?”
I shuffle my weight between my feet. “Of course not.”
Aiden touches my arm lightly with his. He’s always had a way with people, Aiden. And with animals. His touch has always been soothing.
“Come inside, Fionn, please.”
My shoulders sag, the fight and anger slowly ebbing from me as Aiden’s words sink in.
Truthfully, I don’t want to leave. I spent last night sleeping in the back of the car because I had nowhere else to go. I might have slept with some of the ladies about town, but I never slept overnight with them. Their beds were only open to me for one reason. And I didn’t want to go back to Jake’s couch.
I missed the farm, missed the comforting feeling of being under the same roof as all the people I love left alive. That’s why I came back this morning.
I missed Savannah. I missed the way her soft, sweet scent filled my nose when she was near. The way everything seemed brighter when she was around. The way my chest filled with purpose, feeling like life had meaning because I was doing it for her.
Because I was doing it all for her.
I’d do anything she wants me to. Give her everything she needs.
But could I share her with my brothers?
Savannah
I stand in the living room staring at the inside of the front door, worrying my lip with my teeth. Aiden has been out there with Fionn for ages. Has Aiden been able to convince Fionn to at least talk to me? To us?
At least Fionn’s car hasn’t driven off, so I know there’s a chance. I’m hanging on to the thought of this chance for dear life.
Kilian is standing behind me, his hands sliding on my shoulders and lightly massaging my neck.
“Relax,” he says, “Aiden will know how to talk him down off the ledge.”
“But what if he doesn’t. What if Fionn leaves and never comes back. It’ll be all my fault.”
Killian turns me, his touch firm yet gentle, forcing me to look at him. “If he leaves, it’s all on him. Not you. You’ve done nothing wrong. In fact, you are what’s right with us. You’ve made all of us come alive, Savannah. We all need you just as much as you need us.”
Killian’s words soak into me like a balm. I sink further against him, taking all the safety and comfort his solid presence provides. His arms slide around my waist, the tips of his fingers flexing into my body, like he’s trying to hold himself back from really grabbing me. Heat blooms inside of me.
I lift my face up. His gaze drops to my lips and heat flashes across his eyes. I think he’s going to kiss me. But he doesn’t. He closes his lids, lets out a breath and leans his forehead on mine. The simple touch fills me with warmth, right down to my toes.
“I want to kiss you, but…”
I nod, letting out a matching breath. But we’d get carried away. And this was not the time to get carried away. Not while so much was going on outside with Fionn.
“I know,” I say. “Me, too.”
He gives me a side smirk, a promise in his eyes.
Later.
The front door opens and Killian and I break apart. Guilt blooms inside me as I see Fionn step into the house, followed by Aiden. I shove this guilt aside, trying to tell myself that I have no reason to feel this way.
I’ve done nothing wrong, I repeat Killian’s words in my head.
Aiden closes the door behind them and for a moment there’s just silence. I can feel Aiden and Killian’s eyes on me, my skin prickling with awareness. But I only see Fionn.
He’s staring at me. His chocolate eyes flashing with unease and flashes of pain.
“Can I have a moment with Savannah?” Fionn says. “Alone.”
Aiden and Killian make their way out of the room in silence, Aiden brushing my arm and giving me a soft smile of encouragement as he passes.
Then Fionn and I are alone.
I’m unsure what to do, what to say, how to start, so I just stay still and wait for him to speak.
He moves forward slowly until he’s standing right before me, his handsome face marred with a frown, his broad shoulders tense. He is all that I see.
“Savannah,” his voice caresses my name, causing a shiver to run down my spine. “I spent most of my teenage years and my twenties chasing beautiful women. Riding on the high of the chase, the thrill of getting what I wanted. And always when I got it, I didn’t want it anymore. Until you.”
He grabs my hand and holds it in his, his thumb caressing the backs of my hand.
“You weren’t won over by mere charm and all my usual lines. You saw me, the real me. You made me open up to you. You made me want to be a better man so I could deserve a shot with you.”
His words trickle into me and warm me from the inside. If I hadn’t already fallen head over heels for this beautiful man, I would have now at his heartfelt, sincere words.
“I have never met any woman who has made me feel the way you do. And…and that’s the only reason I’m still here.”
I bite my trembling lip. I can scarcely dare to hope what this might mean.
“Is this what you really want?” he asks. “Us, the three of us…”
I nod. “I’ve fallen for you all for such different reasons. I don’t know how to separate my heart. I can’t. I’ve tried, but I can’t. And…I don’t want to.”
He lets out a sigh and nods. “Then…I’m going to try to be okay with this.”
A hope, so fragile, starts to beat her delicate wings. “Really?”
He leans down. “If I only get part of you, it’ll be enough.”
I shake my head as I tiptoe up to him. “You have all of me, Fionn. Love isn’t halved when you share it. It multiplies.”
He captures my lips with his, his kiss hard and fierce. I can feel the passion behind it, the flashes of pain, the residual anger. I curl my fingers into his shirt, tugging him closer.
I need more.
I need him.
All of him.
His hands slide around my back, splayed, feeling as wide as my back. He crushes me against his muscular body, his hard cock trapped between us.
Yes. That. I need that.
“Don’t hog her, Fionn.” Killian’s amused voice comes from behind me.
Fionn growls into my mouth before pulling away, glaring over my shoulder. For a mo
ment I think he’s going to start a fight, and I tense.
Fionn catches my eye and slowly his whole demeanor loosens. He shoots me a small smile, letting me know that it’s okay.
I begin to relax. He really is going to try to be okay with this.
“I suppose it was only a matter of time before you guys came back and I had to share,” Fionn says, his voice light, a hint of naughtiness in his tone.
Oh. Shit.
It’s time to take things further.
My body erupts into flame, anticipation making me shiver.
Fionn kisses me once more, biting my lip playfully before releasing me, before turning me gently towards Killian. A look passes between them. I know what it is. A kind of peace offering. A treaty between two brothers who have always been rivals.
I feel Aiden watching as Killian claims my mouth, firmly, possessively, with his hands cupping my face. Fionn runs his hands down my back and over my ass, pressing kisses and soft bites along my shoulder.
It’s heaven.
Killian breaks away and I whimper. Disappointment turns to happiness when he turns me towards Aiden. My sweet Aiden. His kisses are the softest, the most tender of the three.
While Aiden worships my lips, Killian’s firm hand sweeps up my left arm and into the top of my nightie to cup my breast, kneading my soft flesh, pinching my nipple between his fingers.
I moan, thinking it can’t feel any better. Until Fionn’s hand slides between my legs over my panties.
I let out a groan into Aiden’s mouth, my body already shaking with need.
“I think she likes it,” Fionn says, his usually light tone turning heated, his fingers tracing the edge of the lace along the tops of my thighs, slipping in but not far enough. He is such a tease.
“More,” I mutter, wondering how the hell my voice still even works right now.
More.
So much more.
“Bedroom,” Killian says, his usually steady voice shaking.
Killian picks me up like I weigh nothing and carries me into my bedroom, the two brothers following.
Oh God.
This is happening.
