Frayed

by Pamela Ann

  Bass simply grunted on the side, disbelieving. “Trying to ditch me already, Emma? You should try harder than that!” Bass passionately eyed her, a sensuous dashing smile plastered on his face.

  Ha! I bet this dude would never forget the day that Emma backpedaled and chose Carter over him.

  Taylor choked on his food and started to cough, tapping his chest a few times before he cleared his throat. “You’re hopeless, dude.”

  Maybe a good distraction was the best solution after all. Yeah, that’s a BIG FAT maybe.

  Chapter 6

  Trista

  The night progressed in a laidback, easy manner. After a few more drinks, we were all throwing jokes at each other. Though Taylor and I barely conversed with each other, I was hyper aware of him, though. Pretty boy got to me after that cutting remark. He was right about everything he had said, and I despised him for it.

  Right about one in the morning, Emma and Lindsey started to yawn. “I’m going to bed. I have to wake up early tomorrow,” Emma yawned. Bass got up with her and bid us all goodnight.

  Taylor, Lindsey and I sat about quietly. We stared before us, across the vast expanse of the dark sea. “You guys want to check out Ios Island tomorrow?” Taylor broke the silence.

  Lindsey stretched around her lounge, her fit body on display. It didn’t surprise me that Taylor noticed. “Sure, what do you have in mind?” Lindsey sparked up, her exhaustion almost disappearing.

  Shit, two days with Taylor? That was so not a part of my vacation plan.

  “Well, those two will be busy and won’t be available until Saturday, anyway. We could go for a couple of days and come back here on Friday. Or we could meet them up in Athens on Saturday. A lot of the folks go back to the mainland during the weekend.” Taylor looked at us, back and forth. I barely shrugged at him.

  I refused to be on friendly terms with him and had gotten the feeling that he felt the same way. If anything, we were simply being civilized with each other.

  “Does the plan sound cool to you, Tris? We could leave after lunch.” Lindsey stood up. She covered her mouth when another yawn came.

  I nodded in agreement because there was never any point in arguing when Lindsey was geared up to do something. “Yeah, sounds good.”

  It was then that Taylor’s cellphone chirped. He glanced at it. A small frown crossed his pretty boy features. Lindsey was mumbling something about the trip tomorrow, but I kept my gaze on Taylor. He didn’t seem pleased.

  “Peace out, world. See you guys tomorrow.” Lindsey gave a lazy wave and strode back inside the house.

  “Going to make a call and turn in as well, goodnight.” Taylor gave me a quick glance and disappeared inside.

  Fishy… did he make that excuse to avoid being left alone with me? Or to follow Lindsey inside?

  I stood up, shook my sandals off my feet, and strolled towards the beach. I made a pleasurable sigh when I felt the warmth of the sand in between my toes. I started to make my way to the shore and chose a spot to sit somewhere dry, but that was close enough to the water for my toes to reach the tide. Immediately, my thoughts dragged me back to my dark place. I wondered if I wouldn’t be as miserable if Harry hadn’t dropped me the way he did.

  That feeling of betrayal, the gut-wrenching sensation of being bared open that leaves this massive deteriorating hole inside me, coming right back at me as soon as I am alone. It’s like an infested monster. It eats, claws and pulls me in its shackles.

  Tears flowed freely down my face and I couldn’t be bothered to stop them. No matter how much I wanted to hate Harry, my heart wouldn’t let me. I was angry and I wanted to kick his balls, but I didn’t hate him. Why can’t I hate him? It would make life so much easier.

  I didn’t know how long I stared at the sea whilst crying my eyes out. This was the first time since Tristan’s death that I had gone this close to the shore. I couldn’t really do it before. I somehow felt like I was betraying my brother’s memory if I allowed myself to enjoy the sea. Tristan was my champion, he looked out for me and in return, I worshipped my brother. He was the perfect son, and we all felt his loss. I missed him dearly. At times like these, I wished he was still alive to tell me what to do, to tell me that it’ll be okay.

  Life had a twisted and weird sense of humor. It makes you yearn for things, makes you fall in love, but it’s diabolical because it never fails to betray you. It stabs you in the back when you’re not anticipating it. Love kills. The love of surfing killed Tristan. Love killed me—inside. Death gnawed inside me, until there was nothing left except emptiness.

  I got up and carefully dipped my foot in the water . I was delighted that , it felt warm on my toes . Out of the blue, I had this crazy urge to go swimming. With my dress on, I paced until the water engulfed half of my body. I huffed out a brave sigh and dived underwater. It was murky as I swam deeper, until it was pitch black. I stopped swimming and slowly looked up to see if I could see any light from the moon, there was none. Darkness surrounded me. So, I swam a little further out until it was hard to continue. It was odd, but it gave me comfort.

  The tight, heaviness of my chest told me that I needed to swim back up to get some air, but the darkness called upon me, soothing me, a complete balm to my shattered soul. It slowly pulled me downwards… drawing me in… calling me.

  I suddenly felt at peace.

  The nagging voices in my head stopped. They couldn’t torture me anymore.

  My mind shut off, rendering it blank. Empty. I think I formed a ghost of a smile before I utterly surrendered to it.

  Chapter 7

  Taylor

  Megan. My girlfriend of three years, now an ex, just gave me a missed call. She hung up after one ring. I didn’t know what to make of it. She and I parted amicably—or so I thought. We both decided that it wasn’t working out. That was six months ago.

  Without much preamble, I dialed her number. After a few rings, I was sent to voicemail. I killed it before her recorded voice surfaced. She’s been doing this a lot—a few missed calls here and there for the last few months. Each time, she never follows through, never picks up any of my damn calls. I hated how she liked these idiotic mind games! If she needed to speak to me about something, then why play phone-tag?

  I suppose, this was Megan’s subtle way to make me not forget her. As annoying as her technique was, it worked brilliantly. “Fucking women!” I grumbled as I chucked my phone on the bed.

  It was late, but I didn’t feel tired at all. I contemplated if I should just call it a night or join that hellcat of a woman outside on the patio. It doesn’t take any Freudian ability to see how much baggage that woman carried. She might smile and laugh, but it was insincere. I saw glimpses of tortured pain in those eyes. Reading people was one thing I had always done well. I felt bad about what I said to her earlier, but she had to know I wasn’t trying to hit on her or anything.

  I may have thought about it for a second when my eyes first landed on her. Both girls were hot, but for some reason Trista intrigued me more. That instantly took a nosedive when I realized how guarded she was, though.

  Wanting to take my mind off everyone, I looked for my iPad. I could do with a good suspense book to pass the time, but it was nowhere to be found. I suddenly remembered I left it on the outdoor canopy bed this afternoon. I stopped halfway in the living room when I saw Trista dive in the water with her clothes on. Funny, I would have pegged that personality of hers to have gone naked. She had that bold sassiness to her. A confident woman who knew she was hot.

  Breaking my thoughts of her, I went outside. It didn’t take me long to find my iPad sitting where I left it earlier. I started to make way inside, but something compelled me to see her one more time before I hid in my room. My eyes scanned the dark moonlit sea but there was no movement anywhere. Fear started to spread through me as I started to walk towards the shore. The sea was still, not an ounce of movement anywhere—silent.

  I dropped my iPad on the sand and hurriedly went in the water. Somet
hing told me that she hadn’t planned to come out alive. Fuck, I had no idea her shit ran that deep. I prayed that I wasn’t too late. It was hard to see anything as I got further in, but my determination didn’t stop me. I dove in deeper, my eyes scanning the dark water. That was when I saw a glimmer of something ahead. I accelerated my speed and swam towards it. It could’ve been a fish, for all I knew, but it gave me hope. My heart lurched when my burning eyes found her slowly sinking to the bottom—eyes closed, auburn hair floating, arms lifeless. A diamond sparkled on her exposed neck.

  I quickly got to her and wrapped one arm around her waist. I used my other free hand and both of my legs to propel us upwards. My lungs burst wildly when I reached the surface, gulping air into my chest, before I summoned all my strength and started to swim back to shore. When my toes touched sand, I gathered her in my arms and hurried to the shore.

  I carefully placed her limp body on the sand, her head propped carefully on my folded knee. It was obvious that she wasn’t breathing. Urgently, I placed my hand over the other and used the soles of my hands to apply pressure against her chest. I used enough pressure to compress her chest that it recoiled.

  Panic started to flourish as each new try proved unsuccessful, but I squashed it like the pest that it was, opting instead for a different method to try and save her. My hands instantly parted her lips for mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. After my third try, she slowly started to cough. Her body stiffly turned to the side and spat out water, coughing and wheezing it all out. My arm held her while my other hand tried to soothe her. Tears formed in her eyes when everything started to rush back to her.

  “I got you. You’re safe now,” I gently murmured. My insides knotted at the sight of her. What had triggered this? She was a bit distant earlier, but it was clear that she enjoyed being surrounded by her friends.

  Misery was imprinted on her pretty face. “You should’ve left me in there. You had no right!” Trista started to bawl. Hatred laced her voiced as she repeated her words, until her cries made it difficult for her to say them anymore.

  Hearing her openly admit that she wanted to kill herself shifted something violent inside me. She was sitting up now, crying. My hand captured her chin and forced her to look at me. “Is yourself all you ever think about?” I savagely spat at her, my anger evident. “You’re on vacation with your friends. One of them is filming a movie. If you had died tonight, the entire production would halt to investigate your death. Emma’s career depends on this movie. Lindsey looks forward to her summer and yet, you decided to end your life out here, jeopardizing the happiness of the people you claim to love. I call that selfish.” It triggered the effect I hoped for. Good, I thought. She needed to see sense. She had to see sense.

  “I didn’t see it that way. I’m sorry—all I could think about is Harry. He left me…” Trista spoke in between sobs. “I love him so much, it’s too painful… remembering is painful.”

  She wanted to end it all for a man who broke her heart. Why the hell do women do this to themselves? I fucking don’t get it. I just fucking can’t.

  “There is no man or woman out there worth ending your life for. You can’t just fucking give up when life rattles you to the core. That’s the coward’s way out.” When she didn’t reply and simply carried on her sobbing, I took the initiative and lifted her soaked body off the sand. She started to protest, but I ignored her insistence to be put down. “You need to shower and sleep.” I never even broke my pace, I just continued to head towards her room.

  Once in the marbled bathroom, I gently placed her before me. She gasped when I lifted her dress off her body like as if I was taking advantage of her state . “What the hell are you doing?” Her arms instinctively covered her breasts. If this were under normal circumstances, I would find it amusing, but it wasn’t. I was beyond angry . , T t here certainly was no pleasure found here.

  I checked the water’s temperature before I ordered her to jump in the shower. My annoyance jumped another notch when Trista glared at me. “Get in the damn shower, or I’ll haul you in there myself. You choose.” My voice was deadly and she knew I would carry out the threat if she wasn’t going to comply.

  “You stupid son of a mother fucker!” she outraged. I didn’t leave the bathroom until I saw her get in it. I left the bathroom door slightly ajar, not willing to risk her life again. I’m not going to take any chances this time. If I had to watch her like a hawk then so be it. Her broken heart be damned.

  I retreated for a quick shower of my own. I made sure to fetch a few bottled waters in the kitchen. I placed a couple on her side table. Before retreating to check her, my eyes darted at the luggage that sat openly on the floor. I freely browsed through it until I found her soft, cotton , slip-on nightwear. “Are you done?” I called out after a few knocks on the bathroom door.

  “I am.”

  My hand slipped inside the door and handed her the scrap of cloth. Her soft hands yanked it from me. That feisty gesture made me smirk. After a minute, she came out with towel - dried hair, wearing that skimpy, sexy, night dress. My gaze moved away from her body. The man in me easily found her body attractive, but reason and propriety won over. Grabbing one of the bottled waters, I broke the lid open and handed it to her, not muttering anything. Trista gulped down half the bottle, thirsty as hell. “I’m going to bed. I, uh, thanks.”

  What was the proper reply to that? You’re welcome, as long as you don’t do it again?

  I rounded the bed and gestured for her to get in. She cautiously slipped in the sheets, her green eyes not leaving mine. “Don’t tell me you’re planning to sleep here, too?” she asked when I didn’t move to exit her room.

  “I’d be more comfortable knowing that you’re safe. The only way to achieve that is to sleep here.” I briskly moved towards the other side of the bed. I slid inside the sheets and turned to my side. Sleep was out of the question tonight.

  Trista was very still, not one movement came from her. After half an hour or so, I heard her speak. “You’re not going to tell them, are you?” her voice was scratchy and wobbly at the same time.

  I had never planned to, unless she made another attempt, but this woman needed to understand how massive this responsibility on my shoulders really was. “I won’t, as long as you behave yourself. I will be keeping a close eye on you, just so we’re clear.” I was not going to have her die on my watch. That’s inconceivable. I heard her reply a small ‘yeah’ after a few minutes.

  Good, like I would accept anything other than her agreement.

  “Taylor?” Trista asked again after a long stretch of silence.

  My thoughts were still back in the events that took place a couple hours ago. The image of her pale, lifeless body floating—slowly sinking in the sea—played havoc in my mind. “Hmm?” I stayed put on my side. I was still extremely furious at her.

  Her shallow breathing was pronounced. “I hadn’t planned on it… all I wanted was to have a quick swim… but when I got underwater…” Trista paused. I could easily hear her swallow. She sounded like her actions had shocked her, too. “I remember the feeling of surrender… and I felt at peace about it.”

  If it were another guy in here with her, he would most likely coddle her and try to give little assurances, but I wasn’t that kind of a man. I believed in fighting for reason, for truth, to free one’s self from lies. Life was hard, so one must play hardball. Fight it tooth and nail. Courage, it’s the best therapy to give oneself. “I may understand the full capacity of your situation, Trista, but you must see how cowardly your actions were. If a person gives up every time shit is thrown their way, the human race wouldn’t have survived. You have to learn how to fight—physically, emotionally, mentally. Face it bravely, even if the pain is too great, the consequences too frightening. At the end of the day, the only thing that counts is how much you’ve made a difference—progress. Fighting it is progressive. Fighting is reason.”

  When I didn’t hear her, I assumed she fell asleep. So, I shifted a little
to get more comfortable and rolled on my back—arms folded behind my head, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

  “You know, for a pretty boy, you’re insightful and sharp. I thought all your studying law talk, was well, all talk,” she murmured, shifting on her side.

  From my peripheral vision, I could see she was looking at me, but I didn’t move from my current position. “They did tell you not to judge the book by its cover, right? Now be a good girl and sleep. The island of Ios awaits.”

  Chapter 8

  Trista

  I was jolted awake when I heard a light slam of what sounded like the front door. It was probably Emma, off to work. My face contorted when a migraine gave me immediate whiplash.

  I managed to spring my eyes open and found myself looking at Taylor’s face. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his face looking a little tired. His hazel eyes scanned my face.

  “Migraine, it just came out of nowhere,” I mumbled and started to close my eyes again. I didn’t want to keep looking at him. The feeling of shame, guilt and embarrassment of what took place last night came back with a vengeance.

  “I’ll get you some pain killers, be right back,” he rasped out, the deep timbre of his voice bothered me. I could hear him slide out of bed before he quietly left the room. I suppose I drifted back to sleep because I was a little disoriented when Taylor caressed my arm. I blinked a few times, until there’s enough moisture in my eyes. Taylor had two blue pills in one hand and a glass of orange juice in the other. I half sat-up, without looking at him, I silently took the pills and orange juice. Once I washed everything down my throat, I humbly thanked him.

  “Go back to sleep. I get up early and Bass should be up soon. I’ll be out on the patio if you need anything.” Taylor still looked serious, not a smile anywhere this morning. I hardly blamed him after my idiocy last night.

  Once the effects of the pills vanquished my monster migraine, I retuned to sleep. My body simply couldn’t get enough of it.