The Naughty List

by Caisey Quinn

  I disconnect the call with a squeal.

  Why am I squealing about an informal lunch meeting? Because Jonah’s assistant Eli just quit. He’s been hired as a buyer for Prada.

  Which means yours truly should be next in line for the job. I already walk his dogs, pick up his dry cleaning, do his grocery shopping, and vet his dates.

  Okay, so he doesn’t know about that last one. But when a hot mess in heels showed up at his door last month with a shirt that said #golddigger, I told her he had the stomach flu.

  I might have clutched my stomach and made puking noises until she left.

  Don’t get me wrong, I know my boss dates. Of course he does. He’s sinfully sexy and practically edible. But his tastes are…lacking.

  I try not to judge other women, really I do. I’m not perfect and I’m no one to be judging anyone else. I’m twenty-four and just now moving out of my parents’ house for goodness sakes.

  But Jonah plays fast and loose with women. They show up, sometimes half drunk, always half-dressed. He spends the weekend with whichever one, sometimes more than one, then they’re gone.

  I don’t know where he finds them. But they’re reckless and well… a little scary. They hop on his motorcycle like it’s no big, do God knows what with him all weekend, then they vanish and he never mentions them again.

  Addison likes to joke that he’s a serial killer. But I know better.

  He’s a serial womanizer with no regard for himself or others.

  Jonah has a very strict diet and schedule.

  Vegan everything.

  Work himself to death all week.

  Fuck himself to death all weekend.

  Really, I’m just worried because he’s pushing thirty and needs to settle down with a nice girl.

  I know what you’re thinking. No, I don’t mean me.

  I could never date Jonah. First of all, like the rest of the world, I literally don’t know his last name.

  Secondly, I’m not tattooed, pierced, and pumped full of facial fillers and silicone. So I’m definitely not his type.

  Nothing wrong with those things and if I had the money for them, I’d definitely consider having some work done. But if I starting spending my income on tattoos and Botox I’d never be able to afford to move out on my own.

  I’m pretty sure Jonah thinks I’m boring. And that’s fine. Maybe I am.

  I like spending my mornings walking the dogs and admiring the city. I like having coffee in the afternoon at mine and Addi’s favorite cafe. I enjoy hanging in the Tavern with my family and our friends while bitching about the Sox, the Pats, or the Celts depending on the season.

  Before bed every night, I slip into an oversized T-shirt and cuddle up with whatever I’m reading at the time. This month it’s sappy holiday romances. Last month it was serial killers. What can I say, I appreciate variety.

  My life is small, in my own tiny corner of the world, but I like it. Though it’s getting a little cramped in my childhood bedroom. When you grow up with two over-protective older brothers, you learn to appreciate peace and quiet and your own independence.

  So that’s what I’m doing. And when I get the job as Jonah’s assistant, I’ll talk to him about how he needs to find something real, with someone real, who cares about him and not just the playboy persona he projects.

  It’s at the top of my list.

  That’s the other thing about me.

  I make lots of lists. I love organizing chaos and lists make me happy.

  Grocery lists, to do lists, wishlists, goal lists, dream man characteristic trait lists. Reasons not to kill Jonah even though he drives me crazy lists.

  I go through a lot of sticky notes. Last year, for Christmas, Jonah bought me my very own personalized stationary for list-making. Mostly because he was tired of me leaving my sticky notes all over the place.

  “Stationary?” My sister-in-law had scoffed when I told her. “The former bad boy of the UFC bought you stationary?”

  That was when we deduced that he thought I was boring.

  “It has my initials in pretty script font above my name, look,” I’d pointed out.

  Then she’d made that face, the one that said no wonder he thinks you’re boring.

  But today I was going to be brave. I was going to step out of my boring little box and boldly tell Jonah that I was the right one for this position. I’ve been filling in since Eli left and I think I’m doing an excellent job.

  Once I’ve finished walking the dogs and returned them to Jonah’s apartment, I head home to change into something more suitable for our meeting.

  I decide on high-waisted black slacks and a cream silk button down shirt over a matching lace embellished camisole. After spending twenty-minutes debating between black flats and heels, I choose heels because I’m five foot two and Jonah is a foot taller than me as it is. Some added height will bridge that gap at least a little.

  As I’m driving toward Jonah’s office, I check my makeup in the rear view mirror and give myself a pep talk.

  Surely Jonah has noticed what a great job I’ve done filling in for Eli so far. He can’t possibly expect me to be a dog-walker for the rest of my life. Clearly he knows I’m the right one for this position and if he doesn’t, I’ll just have to show him.

  When we were kids, the night before the first day of school every year, Ma used to read this Dr. Seuss book to us

  Oh, the Places You’ll Go.

  I always loved this one part about moving mountains. You’re off to great places. Today is your day. Your mountain is waiting, so get on your way.

  Today was my day. Jonah X was my mountain, and I was going to move him.

  3

  Jonah

  DECK THE HALLS

  “Then I quit,” Hollis declares, glaring at me from the middle of my office.

  My chest tightens instantly.

  She can’t quit. I need her.

  Damn, I never meant to need her—or anyone for that matter.

  Surely she isn’t serious. “What the hell, Hollis? Why would you quit?”

  She has to be the only dog walker in Boston making forty grand a year. Probably in all of the New England states combined. Not that she hasn’t earned it. She’s always gone above and beyond for my guys, but still.

  She sighs heavily, her dark hair falling forward. I prop my backside against my desk as she comes closer to where I’m standing.

  Fuck, she smells good. Like cookies. Vanilla and cinnamon—something dangerously sweet and addicting.

  She hands me the bag with my lunch from our favorite deli. Veggie spinach wrap with balsamic dressing. “I deserve a shot at the personal assistant job, Jonah. You know I can handle it. You can hire anyone to walk Zeus and Achilles.”

  Maybe she could handle it. I’m just not sure I could.

  I place the wrap on my desk. Clearly this meeting isn’t about eating. “They won’t love them as much as they love you. Who found Z’s favorite chew toy when he lost it at the doggie splash pad this summer?”

  She rolls her eyes. “I did.”

  “And who realized Achilles was sick and needed to go to the vet when he had Parvo after I adopted him from the shelter?”

  “Me,” she answers glumly.

  “And who—”

  She puts her hand up, effectively cutting me off. “I love those guys. I do. But it’s time, Jonah. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life as a dog walker. I’m twenty-four and my parents are driving me crazy about getting a real job.”

  I’m mildly wounded by this. “You have a real job. I pay you.”

  She arches a brow. “Yeah, and you wanna know what my ma said about a man paying me so much to walk his dogs?”

  I frown. “No. What did she say?”

  Hollis opens her mouth, then a blush creeps across her cheeks.

  “Forget it. It doesn’t matter.” She rushes on before I can argue. “The point is, I’ve done a great job filling in since Eli left and you know it. So if you’re not going to gi
ve me his job, at least tell me why. Tell me who you’re giving it to and what they have that I don’t.”

  A dick, I think but don’t say. That would likely get me slapped. Hollis is the perfect combination of sweet and sassy. A good girl with a wild, passionate streak.

  She places a hand on the curve of her hip and I almost lose focus.

  She’s mad at me and I don’t want her to be. I try hard not to piss her off on a daily basis.

  “Honestly? You’ve only been doing about half of what Eli did.”

  Her frown deepens. “Why is that?”

  I scrub my hand over my jaw, reminding me that I need to shave. “Because the other parts aren’t appropriate for you to handle. Eli has bought things for me at the adult toy store, Hollis. Have you ever been in the adult toy store? He’s bought my companions lingerie. He’s—”

  “You think I can’t handle those parts?”

  I sigh heavily, doing my best not to think about her handling my parts. “I think a lawsuit would suck. It’d be wrong to ask your sweet and innocent self to do the dirty deeds Eli did.”

  “I’d never sue you. You know that. I want this, Jonah. I need it. I can do it. Let me show you.”

  Fuuuck.

  There are so many things I’d like to let her show me.

  I give a quick shake of my head as if that will erase the x-rated thoughts in my mind.

  “Look how you reacted the last time you saw a woman at my door? Don’t think Jeanine didn’t tell me about my fake illness. I thought it was weird she kept sending messages saying she hoped I felt better soon after being a no-show for our date.” I lift my chin, challenging her. “Deny it, Hollis. Tell me she’s lying and you’d never do such a thing.”

  She’s closer now. When did that happen? Which one of us moved?

  Had to be her. I’m always careful to keep my distance.

  Her gaze skitters across the room. “She had a tacky shirt on, Jonah,” she mumbles. “There was an excessive amount of glitter involved in her outfit.”

  I throw my hands up. “She’s a stripper, Hollis. What the hell do you care what she wears? More importantly, since when is my personal life any of your business? Now, imagine if it actually was.”

  At this, her head snaps up and she’s close enough to reach out and touch.

  “Jonah X,” she says in a mocking tone I don’t appreciate. “Your personal life is a wreck. You need me. I can help you. The WDA runs like a machine. But outside of here, you forget to pick up your dry cleaning, forget to buy dog food, and can’t remember any of the names of the women you go out with.”

  “I’m not exactly sending them Christmas cards, Hollis.”

  “Maybe you should.”

  I let out an annoyed groan. “Guilt tripping me already. Definitely not something I need from an assistant on a daily basis.”

  The truth was, those women all came at me. And they all asked for the same thing.

  One night. No strings attached.

  I gave them what they wanted and had a good time in the process.

  It was a win-win.

  Her eyes narrow as if she can read my thoughts. “Fine. Who’d you give the job to then?”

  “Elaine’s nephew. Dalton.”

  Hollis crosses her arms over her chest. I do my best not to glance at the ample cleavage this produces. “Dalton, whose past work experience includes pizza delivery boy and male hand model?”

  I nod. “He’s a smart enough kid.”

  Smart enough to be an errand boy anyway.

  She purses her mouth in this way she has, like she’s sucking her cheeks in and biting them.

  Taking a deep breath, allowing myself one last inhale of her sweet scent, I step around my desk and move toward my chair.

  “It’s nothing personal, Hollis. There are just parts of being my assistant I’d rather you not be privy to. That’s all.”

  “Why?”

  I don’t respond and she comes closer. Right into the danger zone of my personal space where I work hard never to let her enter.

  “Tell me the truth, Jonah. Why am I only good enough to handle some parts of your life? Don’t you trust me?”

  I trust her. Maybe too much.

  “I do trust you, Hollis. I just don’t want you to see…”

  This shouldn’t be this hard. I don’t want to go into detail but I don’t want her to quit. Meeting her halfway, I touch her chin, tilting it so she’s looking me directly in the eyes.

  She’s not backing down and I don’t have a solid argument for why I won’t at least consider her for the job. Honesty is all I have at this point.

  “You’re the best thing in my life, Hollis. The one good, pure, wholesome thing. I don’t want to ruin you. And believe me, seeing all the inner-workings of my life definitely would.”

  Neither of us moves, we just hold our intense stare. My heart beats harder, thundering loudly through my skull.

  “Ruin me, Jonah,” she breathes. “Pretty please. I want you to.”

  My knees nearly go weak. I’ve had extremely vivid dreams about hearing her utter those exact words.

  In my bed. Beneath me.

  Dropping my hand from her skin before I give into the impulse to grab her and ruin her right here on my desk, I take a step backward.

  “Zeus and Achilles need you. One week of dealing with me regularly and you’d be running for the hills. I won’t corrupt you with what I am. End of discussion.”

  She doesn’t budge. Doesn’t blink.

  “Hollis, did you hear me?”

  She nods slowly. “I heard you.” Her teeth sink deeply into her lower lip.

  If she cries, I’m screwed. I will panic and offer her the job and who knows what the hell else.

  Exhaling harshly, I close my eyes for a brief moment. “Why do you want this position anyway? Elaine will probably retire in a few years. You’re great with people. Human resources might be a better fit for you.”

  She huffs out a sound that’s half annoyed half hurt. “A few years.” I watch as she gives me a quick shake of her head. “I can’t believe you’re not even going to consider giving me a shot.”

  If she knew the truth about what happened two years ago, she wouldn’t be so surprised.

  “I’m sorry, Hollis. If there’s anything else I can do for you, please let me know. But if not…” I move to the door and hold it open for her before this can escalate any further. Or before she can wear down my defenses.

  Taking the hint, she walks over to the door as well. But before she leaves, she stops mere centimeters from me.

  “I don’t know how yet, but I’m going to change your mind about this.”

  “My decision on this matter is final,” I reaffirm.

  She nods. “So is mine.”

  4

  HOLLIS

  MAKING A LIST

  “He actually said wholesome?”

  Addi’s face twists into a mask of disgust as if this is the equivalent of him calling me repulsive.

  I nod dejectedly, propping my elbows on the table and resting my chin in my hands.

  “And pure and good,” I add. Salt in the wound.

  “Jesus.” She sips her coffee. “Mmm, I love the holiday lattes.”

  I can’t help but frown. While I enjoy an iced gingerbread latte from Dunks as much as the next girl, this isn’t helping.

  “Okay, so he thinks you’re a Girl Scout. We can work with this.”

  “He already hired someone else, Addi.”

  “Have they started yet?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. Eli was usually at the office and I don’t go there all that often. But I haven’t seen Dalton around yet.”

  “So he’s hiring a dude to be his assistant.” I can see the wheels turning in her head. She sets her drink down on the table. “Do you think this is like a chick thing? He thinks you can’t handle it because you’re a sensitive wittle girl?”

  I take a drink of my salted caramel frappe. Coffee is a little bitter for me, and even
in the winter, I prefer it blended with ice cream.

  “I think that’s possible. This position is both his personal assistant and professional assistant. He seems more concerned I won’t be able to handle the personal part. But I’ve been taking care of Z and Ache for two years. I’ve been in his apartment to pick them up and drop them off. I’ve picked up his dry cleaning, bought his groceries, and even met some of his uh, companions, as he calls them.”

  “There must be something else then,” she says, her brows dipping inward as she taps her chin with her index finger.

  I nod, licking the whipped cream from my upper lip. “Uh, yeah. He mentioned some things Eli did that he doesn’t want me to do.”

  Her bright blue eyes gleam with excitement under the exposed bulbs in the coffee shop. “Such as?”

  I hesitate, because I know how she is. I know where this can lead. Addi with an idea is more tenacious than Achilles with his favorite chew toy.

  She will literally never let it go.

  “Um, buying sex toys and lingerie for his dates for starters.”

  Her eyes go round. “Wow, okay. What else?”

  “That’s all he mentioned specifically.” I relay the details of our conversation, admitting that he’s right and I haven’t actually been in an adult toy store. I bought my vibrator online after carefully reading dozens of reviews. “I think it’s just the general idea. He had him do his dirty work and he thinks I’m too sweet and innocent to handle it. It’s like he’s afraid of corrupting me or something.”

  She pulls her thick mass of blond curls to one side and pauses thoughtfully. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course.”

  She leans forward, lowering her voice a bit. “Are you sure you want this, like one hundred percent positive this is the job you want?”

  I nod. “I know I can do this, Addi. Being his assistant is a career. Being his dog walker feels like a joke.”

  She regards me warily. “Look, it wouldn’t be the craziest thing if you had a little crush on this guy. You’re both young, attractive, single adults. Mikey tries to ignore the fact that you’re a grown woman and all, but the rest of us are fully aware. Even Tony. They both see the way guys watch you at the bar. That’s why they moved you behind it instead of having you continue to wait tables.”