The Naughty List

by Caisey Quinn

  JONAH

  THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

  Seeing Hollis in her natural habitat is hazardous to my health.

  She’s vibrant, beaming while introducing me to everyone. Her brothers I’ve met, but now there are her mom, dad, and the infamous Addison.

  After some invasive sniffing of Hollis’s mom’s Yorkie and Addison’s Terrier, Achilles makes himself right at home by the fireplace. The whole group is gathered, drinking spiked eggnog and playing the most competitive game of charades I’ve ever witnessed.

  It’s like I’ve walked onto the set of a family sitcom, but there are quite a few more curse words flying around than the FCC would allow on TV.

  I nod and smile and do my best to participate in the conversations they engage me in, but some part of me remains at a distance.

  This is what I wanted my entire life.

  Family.

  A Home.

  Somewhere to belong.

  But witnessing it like this stings—reopening an old wound I try to keep closed.

  I was never worthy of this and the universe knew it.

  Hollis makes eye contact while acting out whatever is on the slip of paper she drew from her the upside down Santa hat. I smile to put her at ease. She’s worried. She knows this is difficult for me. I’m not even in the same zipcode as my comfort zone right now.

  I’m so enthralled watching Hollis act out what I think is maybe a reindeer, I don’t notice Addison approaching until she’s standing right beside me.

  “She loves the holidays,” she says quietly.

  I nod, sipping the punch Hollis’s mom handed me since I don’t drink alcohol or eggnog.

  “I’ve yet to find much she doesn’t love.”

  She watches Hollis with an expression of fondness. I’m glad she has so many people who care about her.

  “She hates doing laundry, when drinks are so hot they burn her tongue—says it ruins her taste buds and she can’t enjoy anything she eats for a week—and disappointing people she cares about.”

  “I doubt anyone is ever disappointed in her.” How could they be? Hollis is just so…Hollis. She’s always smiling and helpful and happy.

  Except when I acted like a complete ass. She wasn’t smiling then.

  Addison’s eyes cut to me. “You okay?”

  “I’m good.”

  Her brothers are yelling something about cheating because she used antler props and their mom is refereeing. But all I see is Hollis, bright, shiny, beautiful Hollis.

  The feeling I have when I look at her, I suspect it’s a lot like a kid on Christmas morning. A kid who had a much more traditional childhood than mine.

  Every cell in my body wants to wrap her in my arms and shout mine to the universe. But I know what I am. And what I’m not.

  If I was to try to be more than her boss, I’d only dim her light. Soon that sparkle everyone loves about her would be extinguished by my darkness.

  My mind works to try and figure out how to give her the job she wants with the WDA while keeping her safe from the monsters that lurk in my shadows.

  “You know,” Addison begins quietly, “she feels things deeper than most people. She pays attention, sees things other people don’t notice. And when she cares about you, your happiness is her happiness. Your pain is her pain.”

  Exactly why I try not to let her see any of my pain. I’ve tried to protect her from the worst part of me. But keeping Hollis out is like trying to live without exposure to the sun. Cold and empty.

  “One day,” she continues, “someone is going to fall madly in love with her.” She pauses to let that painfully poisonous knowledge soak in. “And when they do, and they fight for her, stand up to her brothers and love her in the way she deserves, she will probably fall madly in love right back.”

  My stomach twists angrily. Her words punch a hole through my chest.

  “You going to be okay with that, Jonah?”

  Fuck no.

  “I’ll be happy as long as Hollis is happy. She’s an amazing girl. I hope she gets everything she deserves.”

  Addison side-eyes me. “So do I.”

  Before she says anything else, Hollis takes me by both hands and pulls me toward the fireplace.

  “Your turn, Jonah!”

  I want to protest, to tell her I’m just a spectator. But the look on her face, the hopefulness in her pleading gaze, makes it impossible.

  She holds the hat full of folded slips of paper out to me and I take a square and unfold it.

  “It’s tied 3 to 3, girls vs guys,” she informs me. “No pressure, but if the guys get this one, it’ll break their four-year losing streak.”

  No pressure my ass. The cop brother that punched me, Mikey, says something about last year being rigged and they erupt into good-natured arguing once more.

  I stare at the word on the paper and know I’m doomed.

  I can only think of one way to act this out and no one in this room is going to like it.

  Oh well. Fortunately I’m good at taking hits to the face.

  I hold my hand over Hollis’s head as if I’m pinching something between my fingers, then lean in and kiss her softly on the lips.

  She stares at me, stunned, when I pull back.

  The once voracious room is completely silent.

  Our eyes remain locked and Addison’s words come back to me. One day someone is going to fall madly in love with her.

  Pretty sure someone already has. Someone named me.

  “Mistletoe,” Hollis’s dad calls out, breaking our trance.

  I touch my nose and point at him without looking away from Hollis.

  Her brothers opt to celebrate the victory and the end of their losing streak instead of pummeling me, which I appreciate.

  Hollis breaks our eye contact and excuses herself to serve dessert. I watch as Addison follows her into the kitchen. The rest of the family jokes about charade tournaments past, but I catch her mom’s eye and she gives me a warm smile. I don’t know if it’s approval or what, but it feels like someone is rooting for me. Welcoming me.

  After too much dessert and coffee, I bid everyone goodnight and Hollis walks me outside.

  Snow is coming down on the sidewalk but doesn’t look like it’s going to stick.

  She holds her tongue out and catches a few flakes. They melt instantly. My dick twitches at the sight of her tongue.

  “Get back inside before you freeze,” I say while loading Achilles into the backseat.

  She’s wearing an oversized gray sweater but it’s not enough to keep her warm out here.

  She wraps her arms around herself. “I’m glad you came tonight.”

  I use my hands to rub her upper arms rapidly, creating friction to keep her warm and as an excuse to touch her.

  “It was fun.”

  She tilts her head to one side. “Do you really mean that?”

  I shrug. “Yeah, I think so. I crashed your Christmas Eve and all, but I had a good time. Did you make that cheesecake?”

  She nods. “I did.”

  “It was amazing. I’m guessing it wasn’t vegan, but it was worth cheating this once.”

  “Sorry.” She breathes white steam into the icy air. “The cherry pie was the closest thing to vegan actually. But there was regular butter in the crust. If I had known you were coming I would’ve—”

  “It’s fine, Hollis,” I say, touching her lips to quiet her concern. “I was only teasing.”

  She stills, like when I kissed her earlier. I’m tempted as hell to do it again. One more taste.

  She knows what I’m thinking. I can see the knowledge heating her gaze.

  The memory of being inside her, of having her warm naked body beside me in my bed slams into me.

  Swallowing takes actual effort.

  “I need to tell you something,” I blurt out.

  She blinks. “Okay. What is it?”

  “It was the salesgirl at the toy store who leaked my Santa gig to the press.”

>   She inhales sharply. “I see.”

  “I really am sorry for the way I reacted. It was over the top, even if you had told Addison and she’d leaked it. I wish I’d handled it better.”

  “I forgive you, Jonah,” she says evenly, sounding like she means it. “You were upset. You made a mistake. It happens.”

  I frown. “Why are you letting me off the hook so easily? Because I played one round of charades? Really?”

  She shivers and I rub her arms some more. “No. I forgive you because I can tell that you’re genuinely sorry. And because it’s on the list.”

  I laugh. “Oh, great. The list. What else is on there?”

  Her cheeks pink but she doesn’t respond right away. “Did I ever tell you about Ache’s ear medication?”

  Blanking at the abrupt change of subject, all that comes out of my mouth is “Huh?”

  She sighs heavily. “Last spring, when Ache had all those allergies and his ears got infected, I took him to the vet and they gave me this medicine.” I watch as the memory contorts her face into one of distress and remorse. “I didn’t read the instructions. I just used the dropper to put the medicine into his ears. It was pink and sticky and weird so I freaked out and called the vet. It was an oral antibiotic. Not ear drops.” Her eyes fill up with moisture.

  “Oh, Hollis. I’m sure he was fine.” I wrap my arms around her and pull her to my chest to comfort her. And okay, because I need to hold her as much as she needs to be held.

  “I had to suction it out and clean his ears and he was in so much pain. I felt awful.”

  “It was an honest mistake.”

  She nods. “Exactly. And I didn’t tell you because I was upset and embarrassed that I’d done something so careless and dumb. But that’s what I was thinking about tonight. You made a mistake and hurt me—even though you really didn’t mean to. I made a mistake and hurt Ache, even though I would never in a million years hurt him on purpose. He forgave me. I can forgive you.”

  I grin at her. “Sometimes, Hollis Rossi, I worry that you’re too pure for this world.”

  “No so pure anymore,” she says quietly.

  Because I took her virginity.

  My chest tightens and I nod. “Because of me.”

  Her nose grazes mine. “Thanks to you,” she whispers. “I don’t regret it, Jonah. I hope you don’t either.”

  My mouth goes dry and my heart beats harder. I feel like a fifteen-year-old with a crush on the homecoming queen.

  “I don’t,” I manage to get out. “Not even a little.”

  Matter of fact, all I can think about since she left is how to get her back in my bed.

  The front door opens and Hollis’s bar-owning brother pokes his head out.

  “Hollis,” he calls out. “It’s your night to do the dishes. And Mom needs help wrapping some stuff.”

  Hollis rolls her eyes. “Be right there.”

  Part of me doesn’t want to let her go yet, but I’ve been selfish enough for one evening.

  “They look out for you,” I say. “It’s sweet.”

  She frowns. “It was sweet when I was twelve. At twenty-four, it’s obnoxious and annoying.”

  “You have a wonderful family, Hollis. That’s a good thing.”

  She glances toward the house then back at me. “They like you.”

  Chuckling lightly, I shove my hands in my pockets so I can keep them off her. “I don’t know about that, but at least no one punched me in the face tonight.”

  “It’s a start,” she says.

  Her smile takes my breath away. I want to kiss her. But if I kiss her, I’ll convince her to come over tonight. To wake up to what Christmas morning? Me freaking out and pushing her away instead of presents with her family?

  “Goodnight, Hollis,” I say, turning to get into the Rover.

  She watches me climb into the vehicle then sighs. “You have plans tomorrow?”

  “Nah. Probably get some work done. Check in with Miss Nancy, see if they need anything.”

  “You could come have dinner with us. We always have way too much food.”

  The offer is genuine because Hollis doesn’t know how to be anything else, but I’ve been invited to enough pity dinners over the years.

  “I think I’ve crashed enough Rossi holidays for one year.”

  As if to prove my point, her brother calls out the door again. “Hollis, Mom’s waiting.”

  She ignores him. “I’m still walking the dogs Saturday right?”

  I nod. “Of course.”

  “Merry Christmas, Jonah.”

  “Merry Christmas, Hollis.”

  My eyes remain locked on her as she turns and goes inside.

  My cell phone rings and I glance at the screen.

  Bruce “Rock” Rockford’s name appears on my screen.

  It’s been years since I’ve talked to him. I hit the button on my steering wheel to answer on speaker as I pull onto the street.

  “What’s up, Rock? Calling to wish me a Merry Christmas?”

  “Jonah,” he greets me. “I’m surprised you answered.”

  “Am I going to regret it?”

  He chuckles heartily. “I hope not.”

  “So what’s going on?”

  “Hear me out, son. All the way through. Believe me, you’re going to want to consider the offer on the table.”

  No, I’m probably not. But I respect my former manager enough to hear him out. “Lay it on me.”

  I turn on my signal to hit the freeway. I’ve just merged into traffic when Rock clears his throat and begins.

  “Jones just bailed on the New Year’s Eve fight. Severe concussion from a car accident he was in last week.”

  “And how does this affect me?”

  “Stryker wants a rematch. It’s what he’s wanted since you left. Not only is the UFC willing to give you fifty k for the fight, Stryker says he’ll donate a quarter of a million dollars to your group home. Win or lose.”

  My least favorite reporter ran the story on Joey and my childhood this morning. Clearly it’s made the rounds.

  But then I remember something he said about would I be willing to return to fighting professionally if it was for a good cause. So he leaked a lot more than a story about my past.

  “This feels like a set up,” I say.

  Malachi Stryker is a former UFC champ and no one to fuck around with. I beat him three years ago in a highly controversial judge’s decision. It was the very last fight of my career.

  “It’s just an opportunity, Jonah. Nothing more, nothing less. Up to you.”

  I’m at war with myself in the middle of the highway. Fifty thousand dollars would be huge for the WDA. And two hundred and fifty thousand would completely change the lives of the thirty-six kids living in the group home. Hell of a lot more than a couple of Christmas presents.

  “Can I think about it?”

  He coughs. “Come on, Jonah. We both know you’re out of shape. If you’re going to do it, you have to get out here and start training like yesterday.”

  “I still train a little here and there.”

  “Stryker’s been off for six months. What do you think he’s been doing every single day?”

  “Point taken.”

  “The fight was scheduled to be in New York since they were both training here, but the association has agreed to bring it to you if you agree. They’ll move it to The Garden. New Year’s Eve. I’ll get you on a redeye tonight. Be ready first thing in the morning.”

  “I haven’t said yes yet,” I remind me.

  “You’d have already hung up on me if you weren’t interested. See you soon.” The call is disconnected from his end and I drive in stunned silence to my place.

  By the time I make it inside, I know what I have to do.

  18

  HOLLIS

  HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS

  Jonah’s only been gone about an hour when my phone rings with his name on the screen.

  “Hey—”

&n
bsp; “Hollis, listen. I know tomorrow is Christmas but we need to talk. Is there any way you can pack a bag and come stay at my place for a few days? Could you do that?”

  My heart leaps into my throat. “You mean like right now?”

  “Right now. I have to be at the airport in an hour.”

  “The airport? Jonah, what’s going—”

  “There’s no time, Hollis. If you’re coming, please just get your stuff and get here as soon as you can. If not, I need to figure out somewhere to board the boys. But I’d rather tell you this in person either way.”

  “Okay. I’ll be there soon.”

  What in the actual hell is going on?

  Only one way to find out I guess.

  I throw a few pairs of leggings and some sweaters, underwear, and my toothbrush into my carry-on while mentally preparing myself to explain to my family why I’m leaving on Christmas Eve. If I’m lucky, they’ll all be in bed already and I can just leave a note.

  I ease down the stairs like a teenager sneaking out. When I make it to the living room, I see Dad asleep in the recliner. Tiptoeing past him, I hear my mom clear her throat in the kitchen.

  She steps around the corner and gestures to my bag. “Running away from home, Hollis? Been awhile since you’ve pulled that one.”

  I sigh. “I know it’s Christmas Eve, but something is going on with Jonah.”

  Mom nods. “I noticed.”

  “Not that. Well, yes that. But this isn’t about that. He’s leaving town for some kind of emergency so I—”

  “So you jump and run when he calls? That’s not the Hollis I know.”

  She’s got a point there.

  “It’s different with Jonah.”

  “You were moping like someone ran over your puppy tonight until he showed up. Now you’re leaving in the middle of the night.” She sighs heavily. The dark strands of hair are salted around her temples. I hadn’t noticed how much she was aging these past two years. “I’m all for young love, Hollis. I just worry about you is all. It’s my job, no matter how old you get.”

  “He needs me and I…” How do I explain this to her when I can’t even explain it to myself? “I like that he needs me, Ma. I like that he lets me in when he doesn’t let anyone else in. I care a lot about him.”