Falling Hard

by Shelly Bell

  The butterflies reappeared suddenly, circling around like the bright red, orange, and yellow leaves that fluttered in the wind. Oh James, my sweet, naughty boy…I never said this was a clean telling of the story.

  Chapter 9

  Hutch

  The studio was all shiny hardwood floors and a wall of mirrors with a balance bar. I took the box she carried. Lilly wore black leggings and an oversized sweater. Wrapped around her legs were tall purple boots. They’d been taunting me all day. Around her neck was an orange knit scarf, one her grandmother’s creations. My fingers twitched with a desperate urge to free her long hair from its secured knot. She spun around the room slowly, taking a deep breath.

  “I practically lived here. This was one of my favorite places.”

  “Then take your time saying good-bye.”

  She walked over to the balance beam and ran her hand over it. It was clear that this place meant a great deal to her. She took the camera from her pocket. She snapped a few pictures of the studio…of me.

  “Joseph and I choreographed our routine here.”

  “As much as I enjoyed it I’ve never been so jealous in my life.”

  “Jealous?”

  “Yeah, I thought there might be something going on between you two. There was chemistry.”

  She laughed, patting my chest. “An integral part of dancing is acting. The reality is Joseph would probably rather tango with you than me.”

  “I see.” I grinned with equal parts relief and surprise. I took off her jacket and her scarf, hanging them on the hook. I did the same with my coat. “Did you always want to be a dancer?”

  “No.” Her answer surprised me. “My mom owned a dance studio. I took classes but she never forced me. I was good…really good with the potential for great, but I just didn’t practice enough.”

  “What changed?”

  “After my parents died, I decided I wanted to be great, you know? I spent hours at it. It became my life. In some ways, it kept me sane. I could act out my emotions without falling apart.” She stared down at her feel. “God, does this even make any sense?”

  “It does to me.”

  She looked at my image through the mirror. I placed my hands on her hips, leading her to the center of the room.

  “Will you dance for me, Lilly?”

  She tilted her head back, biting her lower lip. I quickly freed it with my teeth. She moaned as I tasted her mouth, my erection growing against her lower back. Her touch and taste had become an addiction for me. Like any good addict, I planned to overdose.

  “I won’t dance for you, James. But I will dance with you.”

  “In case you forgot, I’m not a great dancer.”

  “I can’t think of a better partner than you.”

  I refused to read into her statement. I’d sworn to enjoy the moments we spent together and accept them for the great gifts they were. “Is that your professional opinion?”

  “It’s my opinion as your girlfriend who loves it when you hold me in your arms.” She giggled nervously, crossing her arms. “I don’t know why I said girlfriend. It’s dumb…overstepping.”

  “I love that you said it.”

  I really shouldn’t be this excited, since everything we were doing was going to lead to an eventual end, but my mind didn’t want to go there. I didn’t want to be plagued by the past or think about the bleak future. I wanted to drown in the present of Lilly Franklin.

  She exhaled a breath. “In that case, let’s pick a song.”

  She scrolled through her phone. I leaned my chin over her shoulder at the possible selections. As it turned out, Lilly and I shared similar tastes in music. She was into Indie bands and classic stuff. She paused on one, tilting her head toward me for confirmation.

  “Yes.”

  “Really?”

  “I’ll admit, I never got what that guy was singing about, but I think I have a better idea now.” I tapped the screen. “In fact, this one…this one reminds me of you.”

  She walked to the opposite sound of the room. She slid down and unlaced her boots and took off her socks. “I can’t dance with these on.”

  “You can’t?”

  “Not the way I want. Besides, they’ll leave skid marks.” The boots turned me on but they were no match for her bare feet, complete with pink-painted toenails.

  She took off her sweater, revealing a white tank top beneath.

  “Are you teasing me, Lilly?”

  “I have no idea what you mean.” The mock innocence in her voice would have caused a laugh if I weren’t so turned on. She took the knot out of hair last. The shiny ebony strands spilled against her back.

  The sounds of Vance Joy’s Georgia permeated the room. I’d say she walked toward me, but floated was a more appropriate word. She danced around me first, her rich vanilla scent lingering in the air. She placed her hands against my shoulders. I grasped her hips, pulling her toward me. She arched her back, giving me access to her neck. Her leg swung around my hip. I took her cue, sliding my hand against her thigh. I lifted her high and spun her around. I didn’t have any of her grace, but hell if that was going to stop me. When I set her down gently, we swayed together, the emotional energy between us raw, spilling out with every movement. She pulled away from me. I grasped her wrist, spinning her back until my arms encircled her once more. I stared into her eyes, our bodies locked, her breaths ragged. I would never forget this memory.

  Lilly, if we are in a fairy tale, then you, my beautiful dancing girl, have successfully broken one hex, only to cast another.

  Chapter 10

  Lilly

  My jaw gapped when took in the sight of him. I leaned against the open door, grateful for something to keep me steady.

  “You’re wearing your uniform,” I said as if he didn’t know what he was wearing. Anxiety coursed through every vein.

  “I just came by to tell you I’m speaking at the local high school this morning. Okay if we do dinner instead of lunch?”

  I nodded, my mouth still frozen. He wore the formfitting midnight blue dress uniform of the United States Marine Corps. No matter how many times I’d seen it on television or parades, nothing prepared me for witnessing it in person. It came complete with a white belt across his midsection with a matching white peaked cap and gloves. Colored ribbons decorated his chest and his black shoes shone with fresh polish.

  “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

  I cleared my throat, hoping the lump would dissipate. “You look so handsome.”

  “Thank you.” He took my hand. “Why are you trembling?”

  “I thought maybe…you were going back.”

  “No. I’m just speaking to a bunch of high schoolers who enlisted. My contract’s over, and I’m not eligible because of my leg.”

  “Do you promise?”

  He took off his cap and placed it inside the crook of his arm. He snapped both feet together. “Yes ma’am, I do.”

  I touched each of the gold buttons on his coat, feeling my body relax with his confirmation.

  “I should have just called you. I know the uniform is a little much. I wanted a reason to see you this morning.”

  “May I come with you? To hear you speak? Is that allowed?”

  “Yes. Yes. And Yes.”

  “Okay, do I have time to change?”

  He looked down at me, his gaze lingering over my pink yoga shorts and tank top.

  “Affirmative. There’s no way I’m taking you to a place with a bunch of horny high school boys looking like that. I may be a Marine, but there’s a limit to how many guys I can fight off.”

  ***

  On the way there, James explained what every symbol and ribbon meant. I kept stealing glances at him. He always looked gorgeous, but in his military uniform, his quiet dignity showed more clearly. I’d taken a record shower, changed into a gray pencil skirt and white lace blouse and twisted my hair up, but next to him, I looked casual. I suppose anyone would.

  He shifted the gears in his old Tra
ns Am without effort. He told me stories about how he and Colton had fixed it up before he enlisted. What is it about a man who can drive a stick? Or a man in uniform? Scratch that…what is it about this man that made me dread my own choices. Soldier, what have you done to me?

  “Do you usually speak at these things?”

  “Naw, the recruiter asked me specifically. He was my recruiter. I’m doing it as a favor to him. Truth is, I’m nervous. I have no idea what to say to them. I don’t even have a speech planned. That’s pathetic, right?”

  “If it comes from the heart, it’ll be perfect.”

  He kissed the back of my wrist. “I appreciate your confidence in me.”

  “How did you get this one?” I asked, pointing to a bronze star.

  His smile faltered, and his fingers tightened on the wheel. “For surviving, Lilly. It’s the one I would trade away in a heartbeat. I carry it with pride, but it’s a heavy burden.”

  I didn’t ask him anymore. I leaned my head against his arm, watching the fall leaves, heavy with color, drift by us.

  The day was beautiful, one of those fall days where the air was crisp but not cold. James touched his lips against my temple before taking his place on stage. There were at least thirty recruits there with their families. The boys looked young to me, much too young for the sacrifices they were making. I sat in the back.

  The recruiter, Jonathon Mitchell, gave a speech himself before introducing James. As he spoke, a strong surge of pride and awe poured through me.

  “Corporal James Thomas Hutchinson came to me like many of you, as a cocky eighteen-year-old. Nevertheless, I knew this boy was Marine material. He proved me right, being awarded the Bronze Star for his valor. After his Humvee flipped when it tripped an IED, he attempted to rescue a fellow soldier, carrying and dragging him through the desert until they reached help. In the process, he injured his own leg beyond repair.”

  Captain Mitchell continued, voicing many kind words about my heroic soldier, but I couldn’t digest it all. Why hadn’t James told me this?

  James stood, his feet moving in a slower rhythm than usual. I gripped the edge of my seat, taking in his nervous expression. He took a long sip from a bottle of water before clearing his throat.

  “I was asked to come here to explain what you might expect. I can’t do that. This isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience. I can lend you this advice, though. Whether you’re in boot camp or battle or somewhere in between, there may come a time when you question your decision. When you wonder why you signed up for this gig. During those times, don’t think about how you’re defending our freedoms or our way of life. That’s a lot of weight. Trust me, your packs will weigh you down enough. Instead, think about your mother, your brother or sister. Think about your girl…or your guy. Think about the six-year-old who lives next door to you or your sixty-year-old grandma in Florida. Think about them with every grueling activity, every bone-breaking run, every rigid cadence, every night duty. That’s something tangible. Something you can hold onto each night. It’s that face you’ll see during sweltering days and freezing nights. Now, look to you left and your right.”

  All the cadets did that. James paused, watching them, making the moment more poignant.

  “Let me introduce you to your new family members. What Sergeant Mitchell didn’t tell you is the man I tried to save died. He died in my arms. He wasn’t much older than you. I’d trade the medal to have him back. But what can we do? We keep being Marines. We do this job, this honorable job that requires much of us. It’s a steep fine to pay, but you already know that. We enlist, we defend, we protect. We do it for our families, our neighbors, and our friends. The ones back home and the ones who fight beside you. Before you arm yourself with weapons, arm yourself with knowledge. Take your training seriously. Never forget who you are fighting for. I wish you all good luck, Godspeed and OO-RAH!”

  He got a standing ovation, many of the cadets grunting their approval. I clapped until my palms turned red. I don’t think I’d ever been prouder of anyone in my life.

  Chapter 11

  Lilly

  James told me all about Private Brian Briggs on the way back, along with the other brave men in his unit. I listened with rapt attention until both of our stomachs started growling. We stopped at a little Chinese restaurant for dinner. Everywhere we went, people stared at him, a combination of respect, awe and admiration. I understood the response because I had it too. James was gracious, shaking hands, accepting the praise with a combination of modesty and appreciation. I stood beside him, feeling blessed and honored. Although, I had to control the bitter jealousy with all the girls, and even some older women, leering at him as if he was the last dessert on the planet. He’s mine, ladies. I’m the only girl getting that dessert. I repeated so many variations of these phrases that I almost blurted it aloud once.

  The whole time, he kept an arm around me or his hand locked with mine. We returned to the Hayvenwood campus, completely drained.

  “Shit,” he said when we pulled up to the condo.

  “What?”

  “Blake asked that we stay away until later. He’s entertaining tonight.”

  “Oh.”

  James turned to me. “Your place?”

  “My bed’s too small for you.” There would be no way his tall muscular body would get any sleep in my tiny twin bed. Plus, the things I wanted to do to him required…space.

  “Maybe we should spend a night apart, Lilly. We’ve been together every free second since we met.”

  A rigid lump suddenly formed in my throat.

  No. No. No.

  “Sure,” I said, trying to keep my voice even. “I have to start packing, anyway.”

  Was he tired of me?

  I unbuckled my seatbelt. “I think I’ll walk to the apartment. It’s not far, and it’s a pretty day.”

  He put his hand on my knee to still me. I turned my head toward the window, taking a deep breath.

  “I’m sorry, baby. I’m having a really hard time right now.”

  “I know today was emotional for you. I understand if you want to be alone.”

  “That’s just it. I don’t. It’s not today. It’s me dealing with saying good-bye to you. I can’t do it even for one goddamn night.”

  I understood what he meant. I couldn’t keep having beautiful moments with him and pretending I could walk away in a week.

  “You could come with me, you know…to Europe.” Once the idea lodged into my head, I couldn’t stop my ramble. “They frown on that sort of thing in the dance troupe, the whole significant other tagging along, but I can talk to them. I’ll be in practice most days, but we can be together. You can take on-line courses. And—”

  The look in his eyes silenced me. “Lilly, I can’t. My doctors and prosthetist are here. My insurance won’t cover medical costs abroad. And I swore to my mother that I wouldn’t leave again.”

  “You’re right.”

  “I’ve never wanted to be more wrong.” He took off his cap. He ran his fingers through his hair. Somehow he managed to make it messier. My fingers yearned to straighten it. “I’ll wait for you. I’ll be here when you get back.”

  I shook my head. “No, James. I can’t ask you to do that.”

  “You didn’t.”

  “That’s the thing. I don’t really know if I’m coming back.”

  “I see.”

  “When I leave, we break this clean. Otherwise it will keep us from healing.”

  “Yeah, last I checked they don’t make a prosthetic for the heart.” He chuckled as my mouth dropped open. “It’s a joke, Lilly.”

  I smiled, but my lips trembled. “I’m going home now.” I opened the door. I started walking, brisk steps carrying me away from him. The wind picked up. I bundled my coat tighter feeling as though it might carry me away. That was until a strong arm wrapped around me, holding me steady.

  “May I walk you home, Ms. Franklin?”

  “I’d like that very much, Corporal Hutchinson.”r />
  I leaned my head against my soldier’s chest as we walked over the bridge.

  We paused at the arch, staring out at the dry rock bed and yellowing patches of earth beneath us. He leaned against the railing, the cold sunset shadowing his chiseled face.

  “You’re an amazing person, James. I know you’re sad but you cast a bright light despite that. I’m honored to stand in your light.”

  “Wow Lilly, I’m going to have a bigger ego than Colton if you keep that up.” He smoothed back my hair. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

  I blinked my eyes to keep the tears from falling. “I love this bridge.”

  “What’s it called again? Ponce De Leon?”

  The laugh that rose from my belly felt so good. “The Pont d' Amour—the Bridge of Love.”

  “Yeah, it’s a weird name.”

  “It’s French.”

  “That doesn’t make it any less weird.”

  “I wish we had met in the summer.”

  “Why?”

  “I would have liked to show you how beautiful this campus is in every season, but especially the summer. They have concerts in the park. Oh, and Billy’s Blues and BBQ sells this lemon-orange-mint slushie concoction that’s orgasmic.”

  He arched his brow. “Orgasmic?”

  I pressed my hands against his chest. “Well…I thought that once until I found out what a real orgasm was. Now I guess I’ll just say it’s really delicious.”

  I shivered as a cool breeze whipped past us. He pulled me against his chest. “You’re cold. We should get going.”

  “Hold me just a little bit longer.”

  “I can do that.”

  I reached into his pocket for my digital camera.

  “Careful,” he groaned.

  “Don’t worry, I won’t get you hard.”

  “Too late for that. I mean, don’t get me off right now. Dry-cleaning’s expensive.”

  I giggled against his chest.

  “That’s not helping either. The vibrations go straight to my dick.”