PUCKED

by Helena Hunting

  I want to run away. I want to pretend this isn’t happening. Daisy’s confused expression tells me she hasn’t seen the photos of me and Alex making out. I can’t imagine how since they’re everywhere. Robbie’s cheeks flush and his ears go red. Alex’s father must have seen the pictures of me playing tonsil hockey with his son. That’s just wrong.

  “Alex, not again!” Daisy exclaims with her hands on her hips. “When are you going to learn?”

  As Daisy dives into a lecture about appropriate affection in public, Alex becomes more and more like a little boy being chastised. His shoulders hunch and he nods, apologizing repeatedly. It’s appalling. It’s then I understand his mother is in denial about her son being a player.

  I’m suddenly very, very interested in the workings of the Waters family. It’s like watching a social experiment gone awry. I feel much less disturbed by my own mother’s behavior as I observe the interaction between Alex, Daisy, and the rest of his family.

  “You know how the media twists things around. I was just kissing her goodnight,” Alex says.

  “With tongue,” Sunny replies, batting her blonde lashes.

  “Sunny!” Daisy gives her a disapproving look.

  “I wasn’t the one tonguing someone else’s mouth for the whole world to see,” Sunny replies.

  “Can we not talk about this right now?” Alex asks, shifting uncomfortably.

  “Vi! There you are.”

  Buck worms his way into the group, inadvertently saving us from further interrogation. Well, worm probably isn’t the right word. He’s too large to be able to worm into anything, so he barrels his yeti ass into the group and says hello to Alex’s parents. He even calls them Mr. and Mrs. Waters. Daisy giggles and tells him to call her by her first name. It’s reminiscent of my mom.

  Then Buck introduces himself to Alex’s little sister. I have yet to be formally introduced to her; the focus having been on Alex sticking his tongue down my throat in widely-publicized pictures. Her name is Sunshine. She goes by Sunny. Sunshine and Daisy. Violet and Skye. I see a theme here. Alex is lucky his name wasn’t Woody, or Bark.

  “You two could be sisters,” Buck says to Daisy as he kisses the back of Sunny’s hand.

  Sunny and Daisy giggle. Alex looks like he’s going to have a coronary. Robbie is irritated and suspicious, glaring at Buck. Rightly so. I’m sure if he’s seen the pictures of Alex and me, he’s seen the ones of Buck. I hope he has, and more than that, I hope he cares. Buck is in full hockey-whore-wooing mode.

  Sunny puts her hand on Buck’s arm. “You have such a strong aura.”

  “I just use Axe after I shower,” Bucks says. “It’s not too much, is it?”

  “It’s great.”

  “Can I get you something to drink?”

  I watch in horror as Buck threads his arm through hers and guides her to an open spot at the bar, and her family allows it to happen. What I want to tell Sunny is Buck’s strong aura is a result of his VD, or maybe the vast quantity of body hair he sports makes it look like he has an aura when he’s really masquerading as a Sasquatch.

  Alex seems too stunned to move. I can relate. I’ve never seen Buck act like this. Ever. Robbie goes back to asking me questions, completely ignoring Sunny’s sudden departure with Buck.

  Daisy is quiet and observant—it makes me nervous. Robbie’s questions about my family remind me I haven’t seen my parents or Charlene yet. I want to check my phone because it’s been vibrating in my pocket relentlessly for a while, but I don’t want to be rude.

  “I assume you’ll be coming to the house tomorrow afternoon sometime, Alex?” Daisy sets her empty glass down on the bar.

  The last part sounds more like an order than a question. Daisy Waters rules the roost.

  “Actually, I’m going to stay in Toronto for an extra night. I want to show Violet around the city. I plan to take her to the Guelph campus on Saturday afternoon. We could come by afterward.”

  “You’ll have dinner with us then?”

  Alex rubs my back. “Sure, sounds great.”

  I didn’t stop to think there would be a family visit included in this weekend. I wish I could pull Alex aside and tell him this isn’t an awesome idea at all. I came here thinking we’d be locked away together for the weekend, having sex in every conceivable position known to man and a few we can make up on our own. Follow it up with a whirlpool bath and some Epsom salts for what I am hoping will be my slightly worn-out cooter, and that’s what I would’ve called a plan. I should be happy he wants me to get to know his family, but this is way fast. I’m not ready to be appropriate for hours at a time.

  “If you think you’ll be there earlier, just call and let us know.” Her smile looks forced. I want to cry. She hates me.

  As if things aren’t bad enough, I hear my mom behind me. Meeting the parents is stressful. Having them meet each other, too, is going to be the hammer of death.

  “Vi, baby girl, there you are!” My mom flails excitedly, almost smacking Sidney in the face as he comes up behind her. “I wasn’t worried about you. I knew you must have gone to find your man to make him feel better.” She says the last part in my ear, but she’s yelling, so everyone hears. Daisy’s eyes have gone wide. Robbie, who wears a perma-grin, appears suddenly uneasy. Understandable, since a crazy woman has crashed our party.

  The real shame is coming. This is just a warm up. I check behind her for Charlene, my backup in these situations. She’s nowhere to be found.

  “Hello.” My mom waves enthusiastically at Daisy and Robbie. I brace myself for the impact of her lunacy. She’s probably three sheets to the wind. There’s a flask poking out of her purse. Way to be discreet, Mom.

  “You must be Alex’s parents. I’m Skye, Violet’s mother.” She extends a hand to Daisy in what can only be considered one of her more appropriate gestures. Daisy smiles politely as she introduces herself, her bouffant hair moving in tandem with the bob of her head.

  “And you must be . . .” She turns her charm on Alex’s dad. She’s definitely drunk. I can tell by her slight sway. I silently pray she doesn’t flirt with him in front of me, his son, and his wife, not to mention Sidney. This is too much to ask, though.

  “Robbie Waters.” He gives her a beaver-exploding smile.

  It’s the same one Alex gave me the first night we met, right before he told me we didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want and subsequently got into my pants.

  “What a pleasure.” She winks, but it looks like she’s strobe-blinking. “I can definitely see where Alex gets his looks.”

  This is disgustingly mortifying. I contemplate ordering shots so I’m less lucid.

  My mom gives Daisy a huge smile, as if she shouldn’t be offended by the blatant flirtatiousness going on. “And if the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, you must be a very, very satisfied woman.” She waggles her eyebrows.

  For the love of Christ, is my mother talking about Alex’s dick abilities with his mother? I glance at Sidney, who’s just standing there. I mouth “do something.” He shrugs, obviously equally as drunk and entertained. I hate them both.

  Daisy stares at my mom, looking almost as disturbed as I am by this comment. She flushes and pats her hard pageant hair nervously. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

  I grab Alex’s arm, my fingernails digging into his skin. He regards me with disturbed panic.

  “I’m so sorry,” I tell him, because it’s about to get worse.

  My mom is too wasted to muzzle herself. She puts a hand on Daisy’s shoulder and leans in as if she’s about to tell her a secret. However, the bar is loud, and anything below a yell is too quiet.

  “Sidney told me when Buck was born the nurses wanted to take pictures. They said he looked like he was sporting a kickstand. You know how it is: like father, like son.”

  Daisy’s eyes widen until I fear she’s going to look like an anime character permanently.

  “Oh! I see. I—uh, I suppose that’s the case then. Like father, like son
.”

  I’m not the only one who’ll die of embarrassment tonight.

  VIOLET

  “Well, it’s time for us to be heading home,” Robbie says, his voice cracking.

  “And you know”—Daisy leans in close to her new bestie, my mother, and yells over the noise—“I’m definitely satisfied.” Like my mom, she’s a hand-talker and accidentally whacks Robbie in the junk.

  He’s up against the bar, so he can’t escape. This is appallingly entertaining. Robbie protects himself by wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her against his chest. He puts his mouth to her hair and says something. The sound waves traveling around in there must be absorbed by hairspray because I hear nothing.

  Whatever he says does the trick. Daisy abandons the conversation with my mom—to everyone’s relief—and grabs Alex. Kissing him on the cheek, she leaves behind pastel pink lip marks. Then she molests my mother—kidding, they just hug. Daisy invites her and Sidney to come over for dinner. Thankfully they’re leaving early tomorrow morning. I can’t imagine the gongshow Alex’s parents’ house would become if such an event transpired.

  Daisy pat-hugs me. It’s limp like her handshake.

  “What about your sister?” I ask Alex as she and Robbie traipse to the exit.

  Alex plows through the crowd to stop them. They’re too far away for me to hear their brief conversation. Alex doesn’t look happy. I can’t believe his parents would willingly leave their daughter with the likes of Buck.

  Sidney uses this as an opportunity to take my mother back to their room, saving Alex and I from further humiliation.

  Alex returns a minute later, rubbing the back of his neck.

  “What did they say?” I ask.

  He surveys the bar with a frown. “She’s staying with friends in the city. I thought she’d be at the condo with my parents tonight.”

  “Why don’t we see if we can find her? Maybe she’s with the team.”

  “I fucking hope so.”

  The VIP section is packed, but Sunny and Buck are nowhere to be found. Buck better not be using this as a way to get back at Alex, otherwise a WWE match is likely to occur.

  As gargantuan as Buck is, Alex is aggressive when he’s pissed. Now that I’ve borne witness to his temper, I’m not interested in watching it flare up in response to my thoughtless, yet sometimes lovable, stepbrother.

  Glancing around, I spot Charlene sitting beside Darren. She’s not in his lap, but she’s close. Darren is the picture of a gentleman: arm wrapped loosely around the back of her chair, his attention totally focused on her while she talks animatedly. I point them out to Alex.

  “Will wonders never cease.” He squints. “Isn’t that Charlene? What’s she doing here?”

  “She came, too. Mostly to meet Darren.”

  “She’s a good friend. She was extremely helpful when you weren’t talking to me.” He smoothes his tie.

  That’s totally a jab. There’s a sharpness to his statement. He did a good job hiding his hurt before, although phone sex was likely helpful.

  “I’m sorry.” It’s a long overdue apology. “I should’ve called and let you explain. I was worried you’d tell me you were hooking up with someone else and I was going to be your side bunny, so I avoided you altogether.” I stare at his chin as I ramble on. “Am I forgiven?”

  If this relationship is going somewhere, I’ll have to learn how to deal with all the media crap, which means talking to Alex. My main concern is becoming one of those paranoid freak girlfriends who will require endless reassurance. It’s scary to be someone’s girlfriend, especially when that someone is a well-known hockey player with unlimited puck bunnies looking to take a ride on his monster cock.

  He tilts my chin up and brushes his lips over mine. “You’re here aren’t you? I invited you. I want to be with you.”

  “So I am forgiven?”

  He grins. “Mostly.”

  “Mostly?” My heart squeezes. I want to be totally forgiven.

  He brushes my hair over my shoulder. It seems like a tender gesture until I realize he’s looking down my top. “I think I’ll get over it better if I could clock some time with your boobs in our room.”

  “That’s a reasonable demand. As long as you’re equitable about things. I’d hate for the rest of my body to get jealous.” I can feel his semi against my stomach as he presses into me. “Speaking of our room, we should head back there.”

  “Don’t you think you should talk to Charlene first?”

  “Oh. Right.”

  It takes a while to get Charlene’s attention. “Hey!” She jumps up. “I need to use the little girls’ room, and you need to come with me.”

  Way to be subtle, Char.

  I turn to Alex and Darren. “We’ll be back after we’re done talking about you two in a public restroom.”

  Darren snorts as Charlene shoves me from behind. Once we’re inside the stall, she flaps her hands and mouths things I can’t decipher.

  “Charlene, I can’t read lips.”

  She grabs my hands and does the thing girls do in the movies when the dude they like likes them back—she squeals loudly and jumps around in the confined space. If the stalls were smaller, she’d be banging into the wall.

  “I’m in love!” She grabs my shoulders and shakes me. “Okay, well, that’s a lie, but Darren is the hottest guy I’ve ever met, and he’s smart and he’s got all his teeth! Isn’t that unheard of for a hockey player? Does Alex have all his teeth?”

  She sucks in a deep breath, wheezing, and continues. I know better than to cut her off in the midst of one of her monologues, and this one is going to be fun.

  “So after you took off to make Alex feel better with the locker room lovin’—”

  “Shh! This isn’t a soundproof bubble. People can hear you.”

  She rolls her eyes. “All the guys are talking about it. Well, not all of them. Some asshat named Kirk wouldn't shut up, even when Darren told him he’s going to kick him in the nuts. He was even going on about it with Buck there, but the blonde tree hugger seemed to be a good distraction—”

  I grab her arm. “Where did Buck go?”

  “I’m not sure. He must have left just before you showed up. He and the blonde were eye-fucking each other, so I assume they were going to get their freak on. Kind of odd, really. I didn’t think she was Buck’s type.”

  “The tree hugger is Alex’s sister.”

  “Really? She looks so different in real life.”

  She doesn’t share my worry over this situation, so she continues with her story. “Anyway, after the game, I went with Skye and Sidney to the locker room hallway. Darren came out and gave this interview where he totally defended Alex’s position and talked about the stress of the game.” Charlene sighs.

  “When we got here, I had Sidney introduce me to him. We’ve been talking ever since. He’s the sweetest man alive. He’s close to his family, he likes romantic comedies, and he has a degree in sports management. Did I mention he has all his teeth? I want to have his little hockey babies.”

  I picture tiny hybrids of Charlene and Darren with skates, jerseys, and helmets.

  Someone bangs on the door and asks if we’re done with our therapy session. It’s funny, even if it’s rude.

  “Piss off!” Charlene yells and hikes her skirt. I turn around. We’re not so close that I want to watch her pee.

  I don’t have to tell Charlene not to say anything about Buck and Sunny. She’s smart enough to understand why I wouldn’t want Alex to know they may have left together. Conjugal visits aren’t sexifying.

  When we return to the table, Alex keeps checking his phone. It’s obvious he’s trying to get in touch with his sister without success. I would hate for her to get involved with Buck without knowing what kind of guy he is. I send Buck a quick text, threatening to wax his balls in his sleep if he’s planning a fuck and chuck. If he revenge bangs Alex’s sister, I’m making good on my threat.

  Eventually, I persuade Alex it’s
time to go to our room. He isn’t hard to convince. Charlene and Darren are completely absorbed in each other. Since we were supposed to share a room, she has ours all to herself. I’m curious whether Charlene will give it up tonight if the opportunity presents itself. As much as she talks about riding Darren until the sun comes up, she’s a traditional girl and isn’t likely to fall into bed on the first night. Although neither am I, and look what happened with Alex.

  We stop at the room I’m supposed to sleep in to grab my bag and then head up to Alex’s room. I commandeer the bathroom and don my new jammies, ready for post-game celebrations.

  I emerge to find Alex standing in the middle of the suite. His suit jacket is open, the top two buttons of his shirt are undone, and his tie hangs loose. He’s focused on his phone, so he doesn’t hear me clear my throat. I assume he’s still trying to track down Sunny.

  “Hey.” I had hoped to use the doorjamb as a place to cop a pose. Instead, I stand in front of him with nothing to use as a prop.

  Alex glances up briefly, and then looks back down as his phone buzzes. I’m on the verge of tears at his lack of response. Fortunately, he notices what I’m wearing and drops his phone on the floor.

  That’s more like what I’m looking for.

  He cups my boobs. I’m wearing a Hawks T-shirt and a pair of matching panties with the logo over my crotch. The same logo is stretched over my chest. I rush-ordered them as soon as I knew I was coming to the game.

  He tugs at the hem of my shirt, presumably so he can have unobstructed access to my boobs.

  “Wait.” I hold up a finger. “Let me show you one thing, then my boobs are all yours.”

  He looks unimpressed. “It better be good.”

  I turn around, pulling my hair over my shoulder. On the back, in white lettering, is the number eleven with WATERS across the shoulders. The panties read: WATERS’ ASS.

  Alex runs his hands down my sides and squeezes my ass. “Are you sure this is exit only?”

  “What?” I lurch away and bolt to the other side of the room as I shield my backside with my hands, protecting it from potential invasion. Alex stalks toward me.