The Good Guys Chronicles Box Set

by Eric Ugland

  “Hide and watch,” he said. “Catch up when you can, and report.”

  He darted off into the woods in a sort of crouched run, leaving me behind before I could ask what I was supposed to be watching out for.

  Chapter 77

  It wasn’t a long wait. At least not for the first event.

  Noises came from the cave.

  Teela didn’t seem overly concerned. She was definitely still under the sway of whatever magic Nikolai put on her. She didn’t even flinch, completely fine with whatever was making the ruckus in the cave just a few yards away from her.

  The noise got louder, then quieter, then finally stopped completely.

  Slowly, large fingers curled around one edge of the cave, green in color with nasty black talons on the end, leaving scars in the rocks as the hand flexed. Another massive paw pushed into the dirt in front of Teela, followed by an absolutely massive head, about the size of a Volkswagen Beetle.

  A dragon!

  (It had to be a dragon.)

  A sinuous neck stretched from the head back into the cave, covered in green scales that stretched taut over cords of muscle. The creature had a squared-off snout and massive yellow eyes with black vertical slits for pupils. Two black horns stuck out the back of its head, growing nearly parallel with the neck.

  I thought about using my identification spell, but this wasn’t something I wanted to mess with. If the dragon-thing knew I was there, I’d likely be viewed as his next meal. With a creature that size, he probably just divided the world into Food, and Not Food.

  And speaking of food, Teela just sat there, staring at the creature with a stupid smile on her face.

  The creature, in response, gave Teela a big sniff. Then it sniffed the gold and moved it around with a clawed finger. It looked to the left and then to the right. I don’t know if it saw me — I can only guess it didn’t. But it did look right at the clump of bushes I was in, and I did freeze completely, even holding my breath. Whatever the case, the creature seemed content with the situation, and returned his attention to Teela.

  CHOMP.

  One big bite, and Teela was gone.

  The creature chewed a few times, which was horrifying because I got to hear all the snaps, cracks, and pops of my former comrade in arms going down. Then the big guy, or gal, licked its lips.

  One massive hand scooped up the gold, and then the monster withdrew into its cave.

  Not a drop of blood left behind.

  I finally let my breath out, and sort of sat on my butt, in complete shock, not only at what I’d just seen, but fully realizing what Nikolai and Cleeve had done. They had killed Teela just as surely as if they’d pulled a blade across her throat. Maybe this was a better way, more humane or something, I don’t know. I mean, in a sense, they were providing lunch to a creature of the forest, which, you know, is kind of what would have happened had they killed Teela and dumped her body. Still, the brutality of this world, my home now, was challenging even to a man like me. Death and violence and savagery were just so incredibly commonplace. I hated myself for becoming complacent about violence and savagery back home. It didn’t seem like I’d escape it here either.

  Watching the creature was also a great reminder of where I was on the food chain in Vuldranni — nowhere near the top. This thing was so much bigger than me that it had eaten a human with no real thought and certainly no problem. Like me when I ate a piece of beef jerky or a potato chip. I was still struggling to break free from my Earth worldview. And as I sat in those bushes, trembling a bit, I realized that unless I shifted my thinking, it was going to get me killed. Likely, over and over again.

  I was so caught up in my internal monologue that I just sat there for probably twenty minutes. I cursed myself for not starting after Nikolai and Cleeve, and started hustling to get in gear. But as soon as I stood up, I slammed back to the ground.

  Our pursuers had arrived.

  Slowly at first, they came into view. They stopped a fair distance from the cave and formed a loose semi-circle. The men and women all wore the same tabard, but they had unique weapons and armor. It was clear they were hard people, who’d seen plenty of action. They moved with a deadly grace, and seemed unlikely to be fazed by, well, anything.

  One, an older man, pointed to the cave, and said something softly to a man with a brass sword scabbard at his hip, and a pointed lack of anything else. Everyone else had their belongings on their backs, looking like they were outfitted for long-term hiking and camping. But this guy was either important or wealthy enough to have someone else carry his crap for him.

  The older man and the VIP chatted for a moment, I imagine about whether we had killed whatever was in the cave, or if whatever was in the cave had killed us. The VIP nodded.

  “Leave excess gear here,” the VIP barked. “Our quarry has treed itself, and we are going to strike now. It is imperative Cleeve Dye is taken alive. Though it does not matter how alive as long as he still draws breath. All the rest are to die.”

  “The girl?” the old man said.

  “Especially the girl,” the VIP replied, his mouth turning down into a grimace.

  The soldiers dropped all their gear, and then unsheathed their melee weapons. All the ranged weapons were left behind. The soldiers loosened their muscles and tightened their armor, then formed up ranks. They moved as a unit, quietly I might add, into the cave.

  I had no idea how deep the cave might be, but I couldn’t help but notice they’d left all their gear completely unguarded.

  Since Ragnar was one of the lazier creatures I’d come across, he’d left the bag of holding with me, tied to my pack. I raced across to their staging area and stuffed all their gear into the bag of holding as quickly as I could. Even if the assholes did manage to survive their tussle with the dragon, they’d have no rations, no water, or bedrolls. Or changes of clothes or first aid. Or bows and arrows for hunting. Or scabbards for their swords. God, I loved loot.

  I pulled out the little arrow pebble, hoping Nikolai gave it to me for an actual reason, and not just to make me look silly. That’s when I noticed the arrow pointed in a set direction. Hopefully it wasn’t just a compass. It seemed more likely it was directionally attuned to the other half of itself. I took a deep breath, assumed that was the case, and started walking, putting my trust in the magic pebble.

  Chapter 78

  Given my complete lack of timekeeping devices, I wasn’t sure how long I’d been in front of the dragon’s hole, nor was I sure how long I’d wandered on my own, following the pointy pebble with absolute trust. At some point, when the sun was setting, someone grabbed me from behind, and pulled me off my path.

  “Give me the pebble,” Lee said.

  He threw it into the woods, seemingly at random.

  “Were you followed?” Lee asked.

  “No,” I said, “I don’t think so.”

  He nodded, and headed back down the slope. I followed. It wasn’t a long trip, down and around a few trees that had fallen across each other. Underneath, I saw a dry space with a few bedrolls laid out.

  Cleeve and crew were huddled around a small stone that was glowing white hot.

  “Report?” Cleeve asked, looking far better than he had at any point I’d known him.

  “Uh, some dragon ate Teela?” I said, not exactly sure what it was I was supposed to report on.

  “That was a wyrm,” Nikolai countered.

  “Is there a difference?”

  Laughter came from everyone but Lee. He looked as confused as I was.

  “Substantial,” Cleeve said. “Dragons are the pinnacle of this land. They are incredibly intelligent, devastatingly powerful, steeped in magic, and capable of taking over the world if they would just work together for once. Wyrms, they are rather stupid compared to us. Even compared to you. They mostly like eating and collecting shiny things.”

  “And have no wings,” Ragnar piped up.

  “Okay, yeah, I didn’t see wings,” I mused, “but it didn’t come all the
way out of the cave. And it was huge. Seriously huge.”

  “Wyrms can grow,” Cleeve said. “No doubt about it. But did it speak to you? Or to Teela?”

  “No. The thing came out, sniffed her, looked around, then ate her. One bite. No muss, no fuss.”

  “And our pursuers — you waited for them to arrive? Did they take the bait?”

  “I did,” I replied, pretending I’d known that was the reason I was waiting all along. “They came, I’d say nearly forty of them. They did a quick scan around the cave, then got ready for a fight, and went in after us. Leader seemed kind of stupid. They left everything but arms and armor outside.”

  “Perhaps luck will continue to be on our side, and the wyrm will feast tonight.”

  “No matter what the wyrm does,” I said, feeling like I was about to drop my ace card, “they’re out there with nothing.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I scooped up all the gear they left. It’s in my bag. So they’ve got no food, no water, no healing, nothing.”

  Cleeve looked to Nikolai with a raised eyebrow, as if he was saying, See, not so dumb.

  Nikolai shook his head. “Only half-smart, Poppet. You taking everything deprives them of their belongings, but they will also know we weren’t eaten by the wyrm.”

  “Knowledge they would have when they did not receive any notice of my untimely demise,” Cleeve interjected.

  Nikolai grunted, clearly still wanting to be angry at me. “Give me one of their packs.”

  I pulled one from the bag of holding, and gave the gear to Nikolai. Then I tossed the bag of holding to Ragnar.

  “I was wondering where that had gone,” Ragnar replied. “Felt so light and free without it dragging me down.”

  “You forgot you tied it onto me before you left?” I asked.

  “I suppose I did.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Do you need me to carry it for you?”

  “Would you? That would be grand.”

  I snatched the bag back from my hirðman and dropped it on my bedroll, figuring it’d make a fine enough pillow.

  Nikolai started pawing through the gear, and Skeld passed over a small steaming bit of meat.

  “What is this?” I asked.

  “Pheasant,” Skeld replied. “I think.”

  I nodded, looking forward to having actual food for once. It wasn’t anything special, but I still count it among the best ever of my meals.

  Chapter 79

  We were moving before the sun was up. And fast. While we hiked, Lee took the opportunity to fill me in on what he’d learned while I’d been watching Teela get devoured.

  Nikolai and Cleeve had suspected betrayal all the way back in Arenberg. Rumors reached them there, and Owen in Saumiers confirmed their suspicions. Apparently the barkeep was a retired Thingman, so he was in the know, or at least kept in a rudimentary loop. Nikolai suspected everyone except me and Lee, ‘the outlanders.’ Once we got past the lake, if anyone pursued us, it meant Teela was the one. Then, it was just a matter of finding a good spot to confront her and lose those after us.

  The only downside came when Cleeve realized Teela was poisoning him to slow the group down. Apparently it was pretty awful, and Cleeve was a little worried she’d overdo it and he’d pay the ultimate price.

  Now we just needed to get through the last of the wilderness before taking Osterstadt. Then everything would be fine and dandy. At least, you know, that was my working theory at the time.

  I turned my attention to the conversation going on between Nikolai and Cleeve. There was something in the gear I’d stolen that implicated the Emperor’s asshole brother. And that made me worried. I had zero desire to get into politics, but since there was a very good chance I was going to be a duke in the near-ish future, I probably couldn’t stay out of it entirely. Also, you know, I was pretty fundamentally enmeshed with the Emperor’s life and death struggles. Regardless of whether or not I wanted to, I’d need to learn all the players in the game, and the game itself, really. But that didn’t make me like it. I preferred the idea of holing up in some new land, growing slowly and building up, playing the long game. It was how I played real-time strategies in the past. Build a massive defensive base, wait for my opponent to make a mistake, then crush them with overwhelming force. But was that a viable strategy in the real world? I had no idea. I suppose if we could find a spot that was easily defensible with plenty of resources, then, sure, we could tell the rest of the Empire to fuck itself. I had a feeling that was Cleeve’s plan. Just, well, other people kept getting in the way of that.

  At one of our breaks, Nikolai pulled out a map, did a little talking with all of us, then ordered Ragnar up a tree. Ragnar argued that otters weren’t weasels, and therefore shouldn’t be climbing trees. Skeld got annoyed and just clambered up the tree himself. Based on the map, at least as I saw it, we were still in the midst of the woods. But I had no idea where exactly we were or what the fuck was going on.

  Skeld dropped out of the tree, and stood in front of the map again.

  “Here,” Skeld said, putting one claw delicately on the map.

  I looked down.

  We were north and east of Osterstadt, along the mountain range that formed the current upper boundary of the Empire. The Empire, in its infinite wisdom, had claimed the whole mountain range, from one side to the other. But it hadn’t bothered to do much in the way of mapping any of the mountains. So no one really knew anything beyond the fact that there were indeed mountains there.

  “What’s over here?” I asked, pointing to the northern edge of the mountain range.

  “Plains and centaurs,” Cleeve said. “Nothing good.”

  “Centaurs aren’t good?”

  “Not often. They love to ride around you in circles, peppering you with arrows. They have few cities, no real culture, and run away from any real conflict. They also tend to herd the behemoths that roam their plains into the Empire so we deal with it for them.”

  “And the mountains are teeming with orcs, ursus, goblins, kobolds, and a thousand other things that dwell in the dark caves there,” Nikolai added.

  “There is that as well,” Cleeve said, considering it. “I am somewhat surprised we have not encountered any so far.”

  “Any what?” I asked. “That was a long list.”

  “The ursus are the most civilized of anything in this area. They tend to range around and would likely be intrigued that we are here, so far from Imperial cities.”

  “Are they part of the Empire?”

  Cleeve seemed to take a second and really consider the question. “From the Empire’s point of view, yes. More or less. But there has been nothing formal as of yet. There were skirmishes in the past, and there are no actual clans in the Empire. From their point of view, as far as I am aware, they have taken the matter to their council, and nothing has yet been decided.”

  “What are these mountains named?”

  “The Empire has yet to decide.”

  “But someone has, I’m sure.”

  Cleeve laughed. “This land has been populated by intelligent life for thousands of years, I am confident there have been more names for these mountains than we could ever discover. I seem to recall hearing the centaurs call them the Lower Walls and the Ursus call them The Forges.”

  “There are towns south of us, right?”

  “It is farmland,” Nikolai confirmed. “It is a fertile delta from here to the city and the Emerald Sea. But to call them towns is a bit overly generous.”

  “So—“

  “There is always a reason behind what we are doing, Montana,” Cleeve said. “The game you are about to be involved in is very complicated. You must always be ahead of your opponent, or they will crush you. For we are the target for a very crowded list of villains, knaves, and bloodthirsty power-mongers.”

  “I’m just so very excited to be part of your family, knowing we’re in the crosshairs of all the assholes in the Empire.”

  “I understand, but if that
was not the situation, there would be no need for you to be my heir.”

  “The two of you calm yourselves,” Nikolai said. “We are using this trip to scout something out. See if what we paid that scoundrel Minnie Coulston a fortune in gold and platinum for actually exists.”

  “Which is?”

  “A route through the mountains that does not involve the high passes that are perpetually snowed under.”

  “More importantly,” Cleeve offered with a giant smile across his face, “the possibility of another access point to the Emerald Sea.”

  “What’s so special about this sea?” I asked. “Is it, I mean, is the fishing good? The swimming? Beaches?”

  “He does not know?” Nikolai asked.

  There were knowing smiles among the rest of the group.

  “He does not,” Cleeve said. “And though I have yet to make any concrete orders on this journey of ours, I make my first now: no one tells him about it. I want to see his first view of the Sea.”

  “Wait, what don’t I know?” I asked.

  Nikolai just smiled, a remarkably rare smile. He rolled the map up, and got back to hiking.

  “Guys, come on,” I said, watching everyone walk away. “I’m not moving until you tell me.”

  My strike lasted about two minutes, when I heard a loud roar from somewhere deep in the woods behind me. I sprinted to catch up with the group without even thinking.

  Chapter 80

  Now that Teela was gone and our pursuers were, well, otherwise occupied, I felt like I could breathe. There was a sense of relaxation, like maybe I was just out for a hike with my friends. The landscape was incredible, and I knew in my bones that I was one of the first humans to have ever walked this countryside. The trees were huge, definitely old growth. Primeval even. There were winding game trails, tiny burbling brooks, and springs coming up out of rocks. If I stopped paying attention to the insane deadline we had — which was actually easy because NO CLOCKS — I would call it idyllic.