The Billionaire's Voice (The Sinclairs #4)

by J. S. Scott

  “You’re thinking about coming here alone, aren’t you?”

  Busted! She nodded reluctantly, unable to lie to him after all he’d done for her.

  “Don’t even think about it. You can do simple jumps for your routine. You aren’t competing.”

  Maybe not, but a former Olympic gold medalist should be able to turn in a solid performance. She was still young. “It will be expected,” she argued.

  “I don’t give a shit about what other people expect. I want you healthy.”

  She gave up for the moment, realizing she was talking to a wall that wasn’t going to tumble. She’d place the jumps into her routine, and she’d eventually practice them. If she was being paid for a professional performance, she was going to give the best one she could.

  Tessa watched as he skated back to his place by the wall. She started running through her planned routine, smiling just a little every time she passed him.

  Micah cared about her safety, and it showed throughout the practice, his attention focused on her every move.

  Near the end of practice, Tessa had gained confidence. She risked doing a triple again, knowing in her gut that she could land it. This time she stayed on her feet with just a little bobble instead of with her butt on the ice. Looking quickly over at Micah to see his reaction, Tessa realized that he didn’t even know the difference between a double and a triple. He hadn’t even noticed.

  She released a sigh of relief, knowing she’d been betting on the fact that he wouldn’t have a clue exactly what she was doing unless she hit the ground.

  Micah felt like he was dangerously close to losing his control, something he very rarely did. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time that he’d totally lost it emotionally. In his line of work, he couldn’t afford to not keep his focus. But damned if he wasn’t near the end of his patience at the moment, and he normally didn’t have a limit.

  He watched Tessa as she walked into the small living room of Randi’s house and took a seat on the other end of the couch he had his ass planted on. After deciding to stay for dinner after practice, he’d used the tiny shower when Tessa had finished, and eaten without either of them communicating during the meal.

  This has to end. I have to know more or I’m going to fucking lose it.

  He’d bottled up his questions about Tessa’s battle with depression, knowing she probably didn’t want to talk about it anymore. It was pretty obvious to him that she had come through it. Hell, she was the strongest woman he’d ever met. How many people could survive blow after blow like she had without giving up? Maybe she almost had, but the fact was, in the end, she hadn’t.

  He accepted the beer she handed him, noticing that she wasn’t imbibing. She was calmly sipping a glass of iced tea.

  When he knew she was looking at him he asked, “Are you sure you can handle all this, Tessa?” He didn’t want her stressed out. She’d survived enough trauma in her life. Micah wished he had known just how much she’d overcome before he’d talked her into performing again; hell, just the thought of what she’d been through made him depressed.

  She nodded. “I’m fine, Micah. I’m not going to break. I guess I shouldn’t have blurted out everything about myself, but I wanted you to know.”

  “I wanted to know. It isn’t that I didn’t want you to tell me. But I’m apprehensive now.”

  Tessa lifted a brow. “About?”

  He wasn’t worried she was going to try to kill herself again. In fact, he knew she wouldn’t. “You,” he answered, because his concern really was just that simple.

  She set her iced tea on the table in front of them before she spoke. “You think I’m going to crack again? You think I’m weak and pathetic because I wanted to die rather than face my issues? Do you really think a little stress is going to break me? I competed in front of millions of people when I was a teenager. I learned to keep my emotions under control.”

  She was indignant and defensive now. It was the last thing Micah had wanted, but he’d screwed up and put her on her guard by not getting to the real issues.

  Tessa continued on her tirade. “Okay, yeah, I lost it once in my life. I couldn’t hear, and I had lost everything: my fiancé, my hearing, my career, and both my parents. I doubt that anybody could even make up that much tragedy if they tried. But it happened, and it happened to me. I was all alone, and for a short time before Liam came home for good, I wondered what I had to live for. I was selfish and only focused on my own drama. I don’t like the person I was back then, but I like myself now.”

  Micah sat his beer on the table and slid across the well-used couch. He breached the distance between them and put his hands on her shoulders. “You never would have killed yourself, Tessa. I know what you think, but if you had really wanted to do it, you would have. And you’re not selfish. Even when you hit rock bottom, you still thought about your brother.”

  Her eyes glistened with tears, one lone droplet falling down her cheek as she blinked. “I wanted to. I felt so alone in the world once my parents were gone. I had friends, but there’s a certain isolation you feel when you lose your hearing, a lack of connection that I can’t explain.”

  Micah felt like somebody had punched him in the gut. Hard. “What helps?”

  She shrugged. “I learned to adjust, to find connections in other ways. But I guess I hadn’t learned to compensate back then.”

  He swiped the tear from her face with his fingers. “You’re still afraid? Why?”

  Her expression was startled, and she was silent.

  There was no question Tessa had healed, but her reaction to him out by the ocean the day before had been extreme. He needed to know why. She was still running away from something, but for the life of him, he wasn’t sure what or who she was afraid of.

  “It’s not you. It’s me,” she finally whispered huskily. “I became so dependent on Rick when we were together that I’m afraid to ever let myself have any kind of intimate relationship again. It hasn’t really been an issue until now because I’ve never wanted to be with someone as much as I want to be with you, Micah. Not to mention you’re the first guy who has actually wanted me, even for a casual screw, since I lost my hearing. And I know myself. I can’t have uncomplicated sex.”

  He cupped her face in his hands, his gaze glued to the vulnerable expression on her face as he growled, “Sex with you would always be complicated.”

  He wanted to protect Tessa, shield her from any more disappointments in her life. Yet, he wanted to do so damn much more. If there was one thing he now knew for sure, it was that this woman was his, that he needed her to belong to him. Maybe subconsciously, he’d always known. But he wasn’t fighting it anymore.

  His hard-on was pressing against the denim of his jeans, insisting on release, demanding that he claim what belonged to him.

  Tessa’s fingers trembled as she reached up and put her hands over his that were still framing her face. “It would be terribly complicated. And risky, too.”

  Micah grinned at her. “I happen to like a certain amount of risk in my life.” Maybe that’s why Tessa could cause more adrenaline to flow through his body than any sport he’d ever experienced.

  “I don’t usually take risks,” she admitted. “But right now I think maybe I should. I want to fly, but I’m afraid of crash-landing.”

  “Don’t be afraid of the fall. I’ll be there to catch you this time,” he told her in a hoarse voice that he barely recognized as his own. Micah desperately needed her to understand he wasn’t going anywhere. She said she’d never felt this way before, but then, neither had he. The only thing he knew for sure was that he’d never leave her alone again.

  He didn’t just want her, he needed her. And he had never needed anybody.

  She stood up so fast that her body was a blur as his hands fell to the couch, suddenly empty. She strode over to the breakfast bar that separated the small kitchen from the living room, clenching the counter tightly as she said, “I know the deal. Sex only, no strings atta
ched. That’s the way you roll, right? But we’ll always be friends, and I think I might be able to handle that.”

  Micah frowned. For him, all deals were negotiable with Tessa, and it wasn’t just about sex anymore. Hell yeah, he wanted to rip off her clothes and nail her hard and fast, but he wanted her all in. Strange . . . since he’d never been willing to do that himself.

  He stood and walked over to her, pulling her petite body back against him. He wanted to groan as their bodies collided, the upper curve of her ass rubbing against his painfully erect cock. He turned her around slowly, savoring the feel of her body as she rubbed against him.

  Jesus!

  “I don’t know the rules anymore,” he admitted as she looked up at him. “I just know that I need to bury myself inside of you until neither one of us can think. All of this is new, different. We’d have to make up the rules as we go along.”

  He pinned her against the counter as he placed his hands on the surface, pissed off at himself that he couldn’t just walk out the door until he got himself together. That option was completely off the table for him, even though he knew she’d probably be better off if he did.

  Tessa didn’t need this.

  Tessa deserved better.

  Tessa needed a guy who didn’t live for an adrenaline rush.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Then I guess we make our own rules, because I need you right now, Micah. I can’t walk away and not experience this, experience you. It would be safer if I did, but I don’t think I can. I’d always wonder how it would have been. And I don’t want to live with regrets because I was too afraid to find out.”

  He lost complete control in that moment, her own words sealing her fate. He’d make sure she never wanted to run and never regretted being with him, if it was the last thing on Earth he did.

  Maybe he didn’t deserve her.

  Maybe he was all wrong for her.

  Maybe she did deserve someone better.

  But the fact was, he couldn’t stomach thinking about another man ever touching her again.

  For now, she was his, and he intended on claiming her.

  The future could fucking take care of itself.

  CHAPTER 9

  Tessa knew she wasn’t thinking with a rational brain at the moment, but she didn’t care. As Micah swooped down to capture her mouth, she yielded completely, determined not to think about what would happen later.

  She wanted this; she wanted Micah. Every cell in her body was clamoring for him to take her, and she couldn’t fight that physical and mental battle anymore. Fear of rejection had been a part of her life for so long that it was hard to let go of it, but what she’d said to him was true. If she didn’t reach out and take what she wanted, experience the things she craved, she’d be forever stuck within very limited boundaries.

  I don’t always need to know what’s going to happen. I can live in the moment for once in my life without waiting for something bad to happen.

  Screw contentment and safety; she wanted to live.

  Her hands found their way to Micah’s hair, her breath sighing into his mouth as she raked her short nails over his scalp. When his arms snaked possessively around her body, one big hand landing possessively on her ass and the other around her back, she shivered as their bodies connected. His skin was white-hot, and all she wanted to do was let him scorch her with his fire.

  His tongue thrust dominantly in her mouth in between stinging nips to her bottom lip. She moaned, wanting to get closer to him, needing to touch the blazing heat of his skin. His body was like a furnace, and she wanted to jump inside him and be consumed.

  “Off,” she panted when he released her lips, her hands now tugging at the hem of his T-shirt.

  Stepping back, he obliged her, whipping the garment over his head.

  Oh. Sweet. Jesus.

  Her heart hammered against the wall of her chest as she stared unabashedly at his defined abs, rippling biceps, and that perfect V that surrounded ripped abdominal muscles that looked like an unmovable wall.

  She’d seen him naked, and he’d let her look her fill, but she didn’t remember feeling quite this overwhelmed. Maybe because she was past mortification and looking at him with unbridled lust.

  Their eyes met as the shirt popped over his forehead, and Tessa’s breath caught at the purely carnal, predatory look in his hooded eyes as he dropped it on the floor. His jeans rode low on his hips, a small trail of dark hair stopping disappointingly right at the waistband, the remainder hidden beneath the denim.

  Boldly, she stepped forward and flipped the metal button that was keeping her from what she wanted to see, lowering the zipper carefully without breaking eye contact with him.

  “I want to see you,” she told him insistently.

  “Then take what you want,” Micah answered, his eyes growing impossibly stormier.

  There was something incredibly erotic about a man like Micah offering himself up to her, allowing her the freedom to do anything she wanted with him. She could sense his leashed power, and she felt like she was pulling the tiger’s tail right now, but she couldn’t stop herself from dropping to her knees and yanking at his jeans and boxer briefs. She wanted to touch him so badly that her hands shook.

  Micah helped her, kicking out of the jeans and underwear until he stood in front of her completely nude. Same as before, he seemed to have no problem with being unclothed, and Tessa could see why. He didn’t have a damn thing to be shy about. The man was perfection, and the hard-on he was sporting was no small thing, standing hard and thick almost right in front of her face.

  Lifting her arms, she put her hands as high as they could reach, letting her palms drift slowly down his muscular stomach, tracing that tantalizing V over and over before finally letting her touch stroke over one rock-hard ass cheek. The muscles between her thighs tightened, and she felt another flood of liquid heat dampen her panties as she fisted his hardness.

  She wanted to linger, taste the bead of moisture she saw decorating the head of his cock, but Tessa found herself tugged to her feet reluctantly.

  “Not now,” Micah told her as he tilted her head up. “I’d never live through it.”

  She could feel his urgency, see a muscle in his jaw pulsating as he tried to rein in his desperation.

  It was the hottest thing she’d ever seen.

  “Get naked,” he demanded as he reached for the collar of her shirt. Despite his command, he took off her clothes himself, and he wasn’t very patient.

  Tessa’s body quivered as Micah grabbed the top she was wearing and popped the buttons as he tore it down the front, pulling off what was left of the shirt before reaching for the front clasp of her bra.

  The desire to feel herself skin-to-skin with him had her shucking her jeans and panties impatiently, then shrugging off the bra he’d left dangling from her arms.

  Wrapping her arms around his neck, she buried her face in his neck, taking little tastes of his heated skin as she murmured, “Now.”

  She felt him shake his head.

  “Now,” she repeated anxiously, wrapping her legs around his waist, urging his hard erection closer to her needy core.

  Supporting her ass, he walked to the counter and sat her down on the low surface. They were almost face-to-face.

  Her hands never stopped moving, the feel of his body beneath her fingers so sensual that she couldn’t stop touching him. “Please.”

  Desire was racing through her body, the need to have him inside her. Micah resisted even though he looked like he was ready to go caveman on her and fuck her until she screamed for mercy.

  She startled when his hands cupped her breasts, his thumbs circling around the hardened nipples, playing over them until she started to whimper.

  Rick had never really touched her breasts; Micah seemed to worship them.

  Grasping her wrists, he put her hands on the surface behind her, her ass sitting on the edge of the counter with all of the space behind her. Tightening her legs around him, she
was frustrated that the surface was too high to make contact with his cock.

  Before she could register her frustration, his mouth was on her nipples, sucking one of them into his mouth, biting lightly and then soothing it with his tongue.

  Heat shot through her belly, her body registering a sensation she’d never felt before. “Oh, God. Micah.” She squirmed, but he was persistent, alternating from nipple to nipple until they were diamond-hard, sensitive peaks. He bit just hard enough to make the pain pleasurable, especially when he soothed it with his wicked tongue.

  Finally, just when Tessa thought she was going to lose her mind with frustrated lust, Micah pushed her back on the counter, untangled her legs from his waist, and spread her thighs. It left her feet dangling from the counter, and she opened her eyes, having forgotten at what point of pleasure she’d actually closed them.

  She looked for Micah just in time to get a top view of his golden head lowering between her open thighs. Slamming her eyes closed again, her breath hitched . . . waiting. She screamed as his scorching tongue parted her folds, delving, searching relentlessly for the tiny bundle of nerves he was seeking. He found it and ruthlessly teased the hardened bud, causing Tessa to arch her back in tormented pleasure.

  The sensation was intimate and decadent, and she felt herself beginning to float on a high she’d never experienced before, her body being taken over by Micah’s merciless mouth.

  She speared her fingers into his hair. Begging. Pleading. Needing release with a ferocity she’d never known existed.

  “Please, Micah. I can’t take any more,” she whimpered almost incoherently, but she knew he heard every sound that escaped her lips.

  She was jolted from her haze of pleasure as he pulled her up just in time to see his tormented expression, then watched as he retrieved a condom from the pocket of his jeans with lightning speed and quickly rolled it on.

  “Now!” She caught the word as her eyes flew to his lips. “Wrap your legs around me.”