by Anna Scott
Yes, I had to admit that I’d pushed him away before, though it truly had been what I’d thought was best for Trent at the time. I worried that he would stay with me out of guilt, or obligation. I’d wanted him to have everything, not just part of his dream.
Finally, I understood that he was with me because it was what he wanted, not for any other reason. I regretted not talking to him sooner. I hadn't meant to test him, but looking back, I knew that was what it would seem like. The depression had overruled my good sense, and I regretted the pain I caused us both. Would he change his mind later? Who knew, but that was a risk everyone took.
“Do you need to get up?” He asked as he began to rub my ass through the sheet.
Giggling, I wriggled away and answered, “Yes, I have to get ready for work,” as I looked over at the alarm clock. It hadn’t gone off yet, but would shortly.
“Damn, guess I’ll have to help wash your back.”
“Mmm, sounds good.”
Lumbering out of the bed, I forced myself to walk into the kitchen and start the coffee, while pulling on my robe.
“Don’t know why you’re putting that thing on,” Trent called, still sprawled naked on my bed.
He’d always had something against my bathrobe, pajamas, underwear, pretty much anything that covered me up. Aside from clothing necessary for going out in public, he believed I should stay naked all the time when we were alone at home.
As I waited impatiently for the coffee to brew, I glared at the machine and drummed my fingers as if my annoyance would speed it up. Snowball sauntered into the kitchen. He wrapped himself around one of my legs and began to lick my skin.
He was an odd cat, reasonably so since Trent brought him to me and he was odd too. As far as I knew, though, Trent at least, only licked me, the cat loved to lick all people. It didn’t seem to matter to Snowball which body part either, as Trent was reminded the night before.
Shooting one last nasty look at the coffee maker, I turned, picked up Snowball and walked to his food container. I filled up his bowl, then cleaned out and refilled his water dish, then set him in front of it and watched to see if he’d eat.
He wasn’t very large, in actual body size, but he had so much fluffy white fur, he looked like he would be huge. Snowball was much more interested in licking where his manhood used to be, so he plopped back and started going to town.
As I watched him for a minute, I remembered the day I’d taken him in to get fixed. Trent had been nauseated when the vet explained the procedure, he’d had to leave the room. I laughed my ass off for a week after that.
Snowball had been a stray Trent had found on the job. He’d been dumped out on one of the abandoned county roads, no collar, no chip, nothing and the poor thing had been hungry. He’d brought him to me, and we’d nursed him back to health.
Grabbing myself a cup, then making one for Trent, I walked back into the bedroom and stopped in the doorway, taking in the huge slab of sexy man, naked on top of the covers. His dick was hard. Damn, I loved that thing. It was huge, the biggest I’d ever seen for sure, and he knew exactly what to do with it.
“Well, hello there,” I purred to his penis. It responded by bobbing up, almost like a head nod. His cock was expressive, we’d had many conversations over the months, back when Trent and I had dated.
“Do you think your master wants some coffee?” The thing bounced twice. I had no idea how he did that shit, but it was funny. If it didn’t mean other people getting to see his junk, I’d say he should do that in a comedy show.
Without taking my eyes off his dick, I sat the coffee cups down on the nightstand and moved to sit on the bed, next to my friend – Dick.
“So, how’ve you been?”
It bobbed once, just a little, kind of like a ‘just okay’ type shrug.
“Yeah, me too. I’ve missed you, you know.”
Dick bounced twice.
“You need a little good morning kiss?” I asked, pretty sure I’d get the answer I expected.
He bounced up and down continually, like one of those bobble-head dolls. Trent must have some serious ab muscles to be able to control that thing like that.
Leaning down, I used two fingers to pet down from the tip to the base, then wrapped just my thumb around front to hold it still. Puckering my lips, I gave it a chaste kiss right at the slit.
“You miss me too?” I whispered, looking directly at it.
He made it bob again, even though I was holding the base loosely.
Kissing it again, I allowed my tongue to sneak out this time, and I traced the hole like it was his lips. With the tip, I circled the head, and back. Licking into the tip’s opening, then down over the thick veins, pressing in with my tongue.
I pulled him into my mouth, just a couple of inches and kissed him like he was a tongue in my mouth. I explored, rolling him around, caressing him all over. As I began to take more in, I moved on the bed, so I was at a better angle. I knew from tons of experience that I needed to be head on, literally, with this mammoth if I wanted to get it down my throat at all.
Knowing the drill, Trent guided me, so I moved with ease, up and over him. My knees planted in the bed, on either side of his chest, I began to suck him in deeper, feeling the pull and the rumble of his moans. He loved to have his dick sucked. I was sure most men did, but Trent really loved it. I could suck him off thirty times a day, and he’d still want more. I thought part of the reason, was that so many women couldn’t take him all the way down. I had a hard time getting the right angle, but I tried to get him all the way in as often as I could. I had to pull the head into my throat, and I always gagged a little, but it was well worth it.
The silk of my robe slid up and over my ass, as I felt Trent’s hands begin to explore my exposed flesh. I did my best to focus on Trent and his pleasure. I worked hard to ignore the amazing things he was doing to me. Although I was focused, it was impossible.
As his hot, wet tongue passed over my sensitive and engorged flesh for the millionth time, I lost control. When he plunged two fingers inside me, I stopped moving on his cock, held him still in my mouth, sucking as hard as I could and came.
I felt him shift under me. He loved to taste the release when I came, so I knew he was moving in deeper to lick me inside.
“Damn, baby, you taste so good, my favorite thing to eat in the morning.”
Dick still in my mouth, I giggled, making him moan from the sensation. Just a little rolling of his balls in my hand, and a few more tugs while pulling him nice and deep had him thrusting up, cutting off my airway and cumming hard and long down my throat. It took about everything I had to swallow all of it and not choke. It was hard to swallow, suck and not laugh all at once.
Since he was half dead in my bed, I was able to escape into the shower all alone and get ready for my day before he surfaced.
Trent’s hands wrapped around me from behind as I leaned into the mirror, mouth open, to apply my last coat of mascara.
“Why is your mouth open?”
Seriously? Was that not the age old question? He had a mom and a sister, how could he not know about this shit. Besides, he’d been in relationships before.
Giving him the arched brow, which always meant, “duh,” he shrugged and kissed the side of my neck.
“You working all day?”
“Yep, with Rors gone, I’ll be working a ton all week.”
“Rors? Does she know you call her that?”
“No, she’d kill me. You know that girl is tough as shit. Besides, she only lets Luke call her sweet little pet names.”
“That’s what I thought, do you need me to protect you?”
Shrugging my shoulders, I leaned back against him and tilted my head so I could see him. Leaning down, he gazed at me sweetly and kissed my forehead.
“Don’t shut me out again, k? It fucking kills me, sweets.”
Blinking back the tears, I nodded awkwardly since I was tilted back so far.
“Can I come in and hang out with
you all day? Let’s do it on that chair thing.”
“Oh my god, seriously? Everyone has sex on that thing!”
“What? Who else has?”
“Shut up, I’m not telling you that.”
“You don’t know. You’re just making it up. So I'll try harder to seduce you on it.” Trent’s teasing tone was so funny, he’d even added a little pouty lip to go with it. The ridiculous banter between us was one thing I’d really missed. One of the many, if I were honest.
“I need to go, are you bringing me lunch?” I was kidding, but not really, I’d love it if he brought me lunch. That was one thing I’d missed out on before. Since I’d been so fucking stupid, and forced him to keep our entire relationship a secret, I hadn’t been able to enjoy the great couple stuff, lunches and grabbing dinner with the group, all that stuff I’d seen Luke and Aurora, Hope and Jake and now Dawn and Gavin do.
We’d been the first in the group to pair off, but no one had ever known it. I hadn’t wanted to rock the boat if things went south, which they had, but if I’d had the support of our friends if I’d had more faith in Trent, would things have been different?
I didn’t know, and on one hand, I was glad that I’d made him step back and make a conscious choice to take me as I was after everything, but I hated that it took me this long to trust him enough, to let him back in.
“You bet your sweet ass, you want penis sauce?”
“Fuck, I love you.” My wide smile vanished as soon as I realized what I’d said. I did, of course, but Jesus, I hadn’t meant to say it like that, not right now, not over a penis sauce discussion. Everyone knew that I loved the peanut sauce from the Thai place. Mostly, I liked it because when I said it fast, it sounded like penis sauce.
With hands on my waist, he spun me around, making me face him, lifted me off the ground, so we were eye to eye and gave me the look.
“Sweets, I love you too, and you fucking well know it, but if your face ever pales like that again when you tell me how you feel, I’m going to get pissed, get me?”
Rolling my eyes, I shook my head from side to side, then met his eyes once again, a little smirk replacing the firm line he’d had there a moment ago.
“All right, whatever.”
Pulling me in hard, he took my mouth with fierce love and absolute determination. Once he ended the kiss, I was about brain dead, so when he set me back on my feet, I wobbled, and he had to steady me.
Shaking it off, I started to my room, to find my shoes, when his hand snaked out to stop me. “We’re doing it, this time, no hiding, okay?”
Nodding, I grinned and agreed, that was all I could do. He was right. I’d fucked it all up. All of it. Thinking back, I remembered how happy I’d been, fucking elated that we were together and that we were so good together. It had seemed too perfect, like waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop, kind of perfect because no one had ever gotten me like he did.
After I had lost the baby – we lost the baby – the darkness, the depression sucked me deep. I remembered feeling lost. I could almost see the veil of black overtake me, covering me, and I couldn’t get beyond the darkness. I existed – barely – those first days, and I knew that I had only pulled through without slitting my wrists because Trent had been beside me. He’d cried right along with me, holding me, rocking me and his tears had been just as real, he was just as lost as me.
We created beauty together, though we hadn’t realized it, and we lost it together. He carried me as our beauty died and leaked out of me, he ran to his truck that night, holding me, cradling me. Gripped with panic, he parked in the driveway at the hospital, and while cradling me tight in his arms, he rushed me inside.
Our beauty, our love, was seeping from my body while he ran and forced a doctor to see me right away. Trent had been everything I needed, but I hadn’t been that for him. To repay his love, I showed him the door. In the midst of our grief, I kicked him out.
When Nolan died a couple of weeks later, he needed me, but I didn’t go to him, I drowned myself in work. With Aurora gone from the store, I was able to fill my every moment with what she needed, but I hadn’t done anything for Trent.
All these months, he came to me, had tried, he pushed, and I locked him out. Why? To make him prove that he loved me? To force him to jump through some stupid hoops to make me happy? How fucking selfish could I possibly be? Clarity wasn't my friend. Seeing things from a new perspective, my heart broke at all the anguish I caused him.
“Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Trent asked, his beautiful blue eyes sparking, worry and fear clear on his face.
I could only imagine the sight I was presenting. Allowing myself down the path of heartbreak again, I plopped onto the corner of the bed, dropped my head into my hands and cried. Would he eventually get tired of my crying?
Crouching down in front of me, he balanced on his toes and pulled my hands away from my face. “Shh, no, come on, what is it?”
Shaking my head, I tried to pull away, but of course, I should have known better. Moving to sit next to me, he wrapped me tight and secure in his arms and pulled me onto his lap.
“Tell me. I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me.” Trent’s voice was gentle, as he caressed the side of my face as he watched me.
“When will I be strong enough to fix it myself?” I asked, so frustrated with my own weakness that I almost shouted at him.
“You are, you’ve been doing it all on your own for way too long. Lean on me, share it with me. I can’t carry it for you, but I can help you carry it, okay?”
“I was just thinking about how unfair I was to you. About how hard everything was for you, too. But I didn’t care about that. I just pushed you away. I can’t understand why you’d willingly sign up for a woman who treated you like that,” I explained as tears came flooding back, clogging my throat and making my words difficult to understand. I told him about everything, all I felt and why. I wasn’t going to hold back from Trent anymore.
Instead of reassuring me, or giving me false platitudes, he held me, kissed the side of my head and rocked me, until my tears subsided. He wouldn't lie and tell me he wasn't hurt by my actions. We both knew that I caused us immense pain. Maybe my reasons were understandable, and maybe they weren't. All I could do now was move forward.
I wouldn’t do that to him again, and I wouldn’t keep him a secret. We had enough of that, too much really. Trent was my guy. I was his girl, no doubts, no questions. I loved him, and he loved me and if everyone knew it, if shit got real, if shit went bad, all that would still be true. We couldn’t protect everyone else, or try to save ourselves that hardship. We tried that, and it hadn’t been easier, not for me, and I knew, not for Trent. It only kept us from seeking the comfort our friends would have provided.
After he had soothed me, and I pulled my happy mask back on, went back into the bathroom to fix my face and made myself pretty again. Leaning over the counter, I used a face wipe to clean the mascara off my cheeks, when Trent sauntered in. Standing behind me, tall and powerful, he watched. Once I was all cleaned up, I reached to grab my makeup tray, when he stopped me.
“You don’t need that shit, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen just like you are.”
Rolling my eyes at him, I smirked but tried to grab it again. Unfortunately for me, his arms were about as long as my legs, and since he was holding me around the waist with one arm and the tray in the opposite hand, I had no chance. Giving in with a huff and a stomp of my foot I reminded myself that I had pretty much everything I needed in my purse.
Setting the tray down, Trent picked me up, spun me around like I weighed nothing and pulled me into him. He liked to do that, to lift me instead of bending down to me. At his height, he spent too much time bending down. His antics made me giggle, always playful, always sweet. When I needed him, though, to protect me, to cry with me, he'd do that too. He wasn't afraid of his emotions or mine. Trent was honest, and the most real person I had ever known.
Pecking at my
lips, he scrunched up his eyes, and looked silly, with my legs dangling off the ground. Trent pulled me toward him and pushed me back out again like he was doing a standing up push-up. He made me giggle all over again, so when he pulled me in the next time, I wrapped my arms tight around him and held on, kissing all over his face.
He squirmed and jerked his face all around, yanking his head back and moving side to side, trying to get away from my lips, but I knew the truth, I knew he was playing. We always played like this, and I loved it.
“This is why I don’t like that shit,” he complained when I finished kissing all over his face. Of course, it would be a problem for him if I had been wearing the bright red lipstick. If he couldn't get it all off, he would look a lot more interesting at work.
“Humph,” I huffed, and stomped my foot again for good measure when he set me down.
Swatting my butt, he left the room and let me finish up. Twenty minutes later, we were both rushing out the front door, needing to get to work.
With Aurora gone on her honeymoon, it was just Dawn and me to work in the store. I would open, and she would close every day. It would be a challenge to cover all the hours and keep up with the workload. Strangely enough, only a few months before, it had only been Aurora and me all the time, but the number of clients walking through the doors every day had increased greatly. I wondered if we would need to hire another person to help us. The time alone in the store would be good for me. I would have plenty of time to think and get my head clear.
I had a few minutes when Dawn arrived to explain about Trent and me. I didn't go into all the details, specifically all the past stuff, but I told her that we had dated a few months before and had gotten back together. The glimmer in her eye gave away that she already knew something, but she confessed that she had only seen glimpses of us gazing longingly at each other. I had to punch her in the arm for that little comment, but we both laughed, and I had to admit that she was right, there was no way I was able to hide the love I felt for Trent every time I looked at him.
