Family: The Club Girl Diaries Book 5

by Addison Jane

  “We’ve b-barely even had a damn c-conversation,” she stammered, kicking angrily at the stones beneath her feet. “I mean, I just thought…”

  “I know,” I whispered, pulling away the stray hairs that were sticking to her wet cheeks. “So did I, to be quite honest.”

  I was confused as hell. I knew Ham had a thing for Meyah, it was obvious to almost everyone. I’m pretty sure even Leo had noticed the way the two skirted around each other when Meyah was here, and the constant blush that was present on her cheeks when he was within a few feet of her.

  Fucking confused.

  Maybe the patch had gone to his head.

  “I should just go home.”

  Hooking my finger under her chin, I drew her attention to me. “Hold up one second. I know you’re upset, but I also know that those tears running down your face were there before you burst through the clubhouse doors.” She flinched noticeably. “Let’s talk about that.”

  “Do we have to?”

  I nodded, taking her hand and walking over to the wall that separated the yard from the front of the clubhouse. Meyah stood nervously next to the patio as I stuck my head through the patio doors. “Leo?”

  He looked over his shoulder at me. “Meyah okay?”

  “Yeah, she’ll be fine. Can I borrow your 8mm?” I asked casually.

  A smirk pulled at his lips. “Now baby, you aren’t gonna shoot Ham are you?”

  “It crossed my mind,” I replied sweetly, causing all the boys to laugh. “But no, I want to take her out the back.”

  Camo snorted. “Please don’t tell me you’re gonna put a gun in her hand.”

  Folding my arms across my chest, I popped my hip out to the side. “Um… considering I’m the best shot out of all of you, who else would be better to supervise and teach her?”

  They all knew I was a damn good shot, and not only that, but I was extremely considerate of gun safety. Meyah had some shit going on, I knew that much, and she needed something to relieve her stress. This might work, it might not and we’ll have to work with something else, but we won’t know unless we try.

  “You sure?” Leo asked skeptically.

  “Please.”

  He looked to Op who shrugged. “Your call, she’s your niece.”

  Leo inhaled deeply. “Okay, but you make sure the kids are inside and I’m supervising from the porch. I’ll go get the gun.” He turned, shaking his head and muttering to himself. “Carly’s going to have my ass for this.”

  I clapped my hands and headed back outside, letting Phil know to round up the kids and keep them inside until we were done.

  “So…” I started as we walked over to the shooting range, waiting for Leo to bring out his gun. “Spill. What’s got you so upset?”

  She scuffed her feet through the grass, staring at the sky as if God was going to give her the strength she needed to talk to me.

  It was a good few minutes before she managed to reply. “Remember Nick?”

  I frowned. “The kid you were… dating… who took your backpack?”

  She swept her fingers through her hair, brushing them back from her face. “He started some rumors about me at school,” she admitted in a hushed tone. “It’s so stupid. Tell me why boys are so damn stupid. I guess I wasn’t much better, sleeping with him and—”

  “Excuse me?” Leo’s voice snapped from behind us, causing Meyah to cringe. The both of us turned slowly. I shuddered when I saw the fire in his eyes. “And you conveniently forgot to tell me that part when that shit happened?”

  “Uncle Leo…” Meyah’s voice shuddered, and a new set of tears sprung to her eyes.

  He stepped forward instantly, wrapping his arms around his niece and crushing her body to his hard chest. When they pulled back, he handed me the gun and Meyah’s eyes went wide.

  “You’re going to let me shoot that?” she gasped.

  “First, we are going to talk about using it safely. Then we will see,” I countered.

  “I’ll leave you to it,” Leo said, coming to my side and pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “Look after her.”

  “Always.”

  He nodded. “Hey Meyah, how old is this kid… Nick?”

  “Eighteen,” she answered, before narrowing her eyes at her uncle. “Why?”

  “‘Cause I don’t hit minors.”

  “You’re sure about this, man?” Eagle asked as we walked into the jewelry store.

  I ducked low under the doorway to make room for Macy who sat giggling on my shoulders. “Just as sure as I was about it the first time I did it,” I replied with full confidence.

  Eagle had come with me to pick out a ring. On Christmas Day I was going to propose to Hadley. There was no question in my mind about what I wanted. I wanted her to hold my last name. I wanted her to have the same name as both Macy and me—for us to be a real family and make this work. I knew Eagle was a little concerned I was moving too fast, and I appreciated his caring, but there was no need for it.

  I would never forget about Kim. She was my first love, and I still remembered her every single day. I still saw her every time I looked into Macy’s eyes and I knew she would be with us forever. Hadley had proved to me time and time again that she would never want to replace or force me to forget the woman that meant so much to me for a huge part of my life, but I wanted her to know that she also meant a lot to me too.

  I fucking loved her.

  “Pwetty,” Macy cooed as she looked down at all the sparkling jewelry around us. “Can I have one?”

  I chuckled. “One day baby girl.”

  “Can I help you?” The young woman behind the counter greeted us with a kind smile. I explained to her what I wanted, something simple but elegant. Hadley wasn’t over the top, she liked the simple things in life and fancy just wasn’t her style. I wanted something that would reflect her and how I saw her.

  We went through almost the entire case of rings before Macy jabbed her finger at one in particular. “This one.”

  The woman smiled sweetly at Macy. “That’s a trinity knot. It’s meant to represent the three promises in a relationship, love, honor, and protection.”

  There were trinity knots on either side of a small heart shaped diamond. It was beautiful, meaningful, and absolutely perfect to show Hadley how I felt about her. It reminded me almost of her tattoo, the tree that grew up one side of her spine, displaying her love for her family. I had a Celtic knot of my own on my shoulder blade, which I’d gotten to show the bonds between my military brothers and I. It represented how we were all connected together, even through death.

  “It’s perfect.”

  Macy grinned up at me as I asked the woman to put it in a case for me. I hadn’t tried to explain to her exactly what I was doing, knowing that my little girl could never keep a secret this big, but it was as though she knew just who I was thinking about and picked up the one ring that held the most importance.

  “Pwetty daddy.” She giggled.

  “Very pretty, baby girl. Good job,” I praised and hefted her onto my hip while blowing softly against her baby smooth skin.

  “Well, congrats brother,” Eagle said, patting me on the back and offering me a rare smile.

  A buzz traveled the length of my body, excitement and nerves shaking through me. I hoped that Hadley knew how I felt about her, but if I hadn’t made myself clear enough so far, this would definitely do it.

  I paid for the ring without even blinking at the price. I wasn’t rich, but I lived more than comfortably. Especially since I’d taken over the security duties. I was making more money, and I was passionate about what I was doing. Macy’s education and future was also sorted as Kim had a reasonable chunk of life insurance, which I decided a long time ago that I would never touch. It would be Kim’s present to her daughter.

  “Santa!” Macy squealed in delight as we stepped out of the shop and back into the bustling mall. “Santa, Santa, Santa,” she chanted, reaching out her little hands for the laughing man in the big red sui
t.

  They had a ‘take a picture with Santa’ set up in the middle of the mall where people were lining up with screaming and crying children.

  I looked to Eagle, groaning as Macy pulled me with incredible strength toward the end of the line.

  Eagle began to laugh, but it was quickly cut short when Macy pulled her hand from mine and went around the back of Eagle’s legs and started to push. “Macy, come on. Take your dad, he’ll go with you.”

  “No. You too,” she protested, shoving at him until he started moving.

  I chuckled as he finally gave in and walked forward, stopping at the end of the long line and glaring at me. “Can’t believe I’m standing in line to see fucking Santa.” The mother in front of us gasped and turned around to throw Eagle a sharp look, pulling her child a little closer to her. He held the woman’s gaze, shrugging his shoulders.

  “Don’t be mean to Santa,” Macy scolded as she held her arms up, gesturing for Eagle to pick her up. He huffed dramatically before bending down and hoisting her onto his hip. “Santa, Santa, Santa.”

  Warmth settled inside me as I watched my little girl’s eyes light up, her face brightening more and more, the closer we got to the jolly old man. Usually, I left all this kind of shit to Carly. She always took Macy to see Santa and got me a picture. Being a single dad, I always did whatever I could with her. It wasn’t because I couldn’t do it, but it had always been hard with shit around the club. Or maybe that was just an excuse.

  Having Hadley around had made me realize just how much I’d been relying on others instead of stepping up like I should have been. Sure, I always made time to play with her when I could. Made sure she had everything a little girl could ever need, and when she was sick I would always cuddle up in bed with her for hours on end. However, when it came to shit like this, I’d always found it easier to let Carly or the girls from the club handle it.

  It was stupid because Macy was my life. She was the one who had pulled me from a swirling pit of self-destruction. Yet, I couldn’t get out of my head long enough to realize that maybe she would want me to take her to see Santa, that maybe it was actually important to her?

  Hadley had been such a blessing, an angel sent to show me that I needed to pull my head out of my ass. She made sure I made time to spend with my girls, but she also never protested when she knew I had work that needed to be done. She understood me. She made me a better man, and a better father.

  I patted my pocket, feeling the ring securely tucked away.

  I knew I was making the right decision.

  Nerves swirled like a deadly whirlpool inside my stomach as I thought about how Carly would take the news. As much as we didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, she was still Kim’s sister, the woman who raised her after her parents had passed away. She’d lost a lot in her short life, first her mom and dad, then her baby sister. Both Denver and Meyah’s dad had left, leaving her high and dry to raise two children on her own. She’d never had anything stable. I admired her strength and perseverance, knowing that after everything she’d been through, she was still standing, still holding her head high and fighting through. I loved those two kids like they were my own. Being the only male figure in their lives, I knew they looked up to me. I wanted to be there for them as much as I could.

  Carly still wasn’t exactly Hadley’s biggest fan. I wasn’t sure if it was because Hadley had been a club girl previously, or whether she felt like Hadley was stealing away the memory of her sister and trying to be Kim’s replacement. I needed to talk to her, to let her know that that would never happen.

  Neither, Hadley nor I would let it.

  That should be enough to prove to Carly that this was the right decision.

  “All right, Macy, go on.” Eagle placed her on her feet and ushered her forward. Santa waited with his arms wide, sitting on his jolly decorated throne. I pulled a twenty from my pocket and handed it to the elf with the camera. She adjusted her outfit, which in my opinion showed far too much fucking skin for a job working with kids, and gave me a flirty smile.

  Macy stood frozen for a second before whipping her body around and looking up at me with almost a look of fear in her eyes. “Baby girl,” I said crouching down. “It’s okay. Just go and sit with him. Tell him what you want for Christmas.”

  “You come,” she pleaded, looking between Eagle and me. She reached out, grabbing each of our hands and pulled us with her.

  “This shit isn’t made for adults,” Eagle growled as he attempted to step over some candy cane shaped thing sticking out of the path.

  Santa reached out and with us by her side, Macy crawled up onto his lap. “Hello little lady, what’s your name?”

  “Macy,” she whispered with a shy smile, her eyes wide as she stared at the bearded man.

  “Are these your daddies?”

  A loud shocked laugh burst from my lips like a mighty explosion, while Eagle’s head whipped around to look at me with eyes so wide, I swear they were almost popping from his skull.

  Macy giggled and kicked her legs happily. “No Santa…” she pointed to me, “… that’s my daddy.”

  “Ohhh…” Santa said before looking up at us. “Sorry guys, just thought that—”

  “Just get on with it Saint Nick,” Eagle snapped, startling the poor old man.

  Covering my mouth, I listened as he asked Macy what she would like for Christmas.

  Macy cleared her throat dramatically, and damn if the kid didn’t blow me the fuck away in that moment. “I would wike a mommy. I never had one. My mommy died, I miss her wots.”

  The old man cleared his throat and offered me a soft, understanding smile before turning back to my little girl, his voice cracking. “I bet you do, little one.”

  My heart pounded like a stampede of horses.

  “My daddy wikes Hadwey. And I think my heaven mommy would be okay if Hadwey was my second mommy.”

  “Macy…” I whispered, but Santa held up his hand, quietening me as he stared into the eyes of my baby girl, a baby girl who had completely just blown me the fuck away. Macy was smart, at four she heard and understood more than I gave her credit for. My blood burned hot, my throat closing up as I tried to keep my emotions in check.

  “Well, little one, you know, sometimes people go to heaven and it’s okay for us to miss them. But you know what, I’m sure your mommy is looking down on you and your daddy with a smile. You know why?” Macy listened intently and she shook her head. “Because you and Daddy are happy. And if you’re happy, I’m sure she’s happy too.”

  “Hadwey makes me happy,” Macy whispered, turning to look at me.

  “Me too, baby girl,” I croaked. “Me too.”

  “Ready for a picture?” Elf girl interrupted, popping the gum in her mouth obnoxiously, making me want to take it out of her mouth and stick it in her damn hair. “All together now!” She waved us in and even Eagle leaned in with us, the both of us too shocked with what had just happened to even compute what was going on.

  The flash blinded us all.

  “Mother-fucker!” Eagle cursed, rubbing at his eyes. The parents around us all gasped in shock and hid their children.

  Macy jumped down from Santa’s lap and tugged on Eagle’s hand, pulling him away. “You so siwwy.” She giggled as she led him back down the path to collect the picture.

  “She gonna get what she wants for Christmas?” Santa asked from behind me.

  I patted my pocket, indicating the outline of the ring box. “I hope so.”

  He nodded. “Good luck.”

  I walked away, feeling a weird sensation building inside me. I wasn’t sure what it was, excitement, nerves, or maybe just a feeling of resolution and peace.

  I looked at the letter in my hand and couldn’t help but smile.

  After Simon was killed, I asked the club lawyer, Matthew, to look after anything that came up regarding him. Technically we were still legally married when he died, so I’d already told Matthew that if there was anything to come regardin
g life insurance or Simon’s assets, then I would accept that but it was immediately to be donated to charity.

  I wanted nothing from him.

  I was going back to school. I was going to get my degree and get a teaching job. Where I could help teens—teach them, build them up and help them to craft their futures into something great. Leo was working hard, supporting us. He didn’t have to. We hadn’t been together that long, but it seemed like forever. I felt like his soul knew mine as if they were long lost friends.

  We were stable together, and my heart kept telling me not to let Simon get back into my head. I needed to stop allowing him to have an impact on my life. He had already created too much destruction and now that he was dead and gone, I just wanted the pain to end and move on with my life.

  Turns out, Simon’s payout was more than I expected. I looked at the response letter in my hands from a charity who helped women escape domestic violence and find new homes—and sometimes even identities for them and their children—I wanted to look down into the ground, into the depths of hell and say… fuck you.

  These women were going to get the help they needed, they were going to be free of assholes and chauvinistic mother-fuckers like him. They were going to get the chance, just like I have now, to move on with their lives and possibly find someone to put them back together again and help them build themselves back up into strong women.

  I hoped he was in hell, rotting, watching me use every cent of his life insurance, every penny that his assets were sold for, in order to help women escape men like him.

  Sitting down on Leo’s and my bed, I palmed my chest, trying to rub away the ache that had once again settled there. With each beat of my heart, it was like a sinking reminder that I was still breathing.

  And that Slider wasn’t.

  When Piper came to the clubhouse a few weeks ago, peace settled over me like a soft blanket. She was having Slider’s baby and it had filled me with a sense of comfort, knowing that his legacy wasn’t over yet. There was a little baby coming into this world that one day would find out just what kind of person Slider was. Funny, loving, strong and heroic.