Flawed (The Mercenary Series Book 3)

by Marissa Farrar

  His lips twisted. “I don’t like leaving you here with no transport.”

  I shrugged. “I’ll be fine for one night. I have everything here I need.”

  He rose from the couch and crossed the room to the small desk positioned on the other side. I knew what he was getting. He unlocked one of the drawers and pulled it open, then reached in and took out one handgun—a Glock. He placed it on the desk and then pulled out a second gun.

  Before coming down to the cabin, as soon as I’d been released from the hospital, we’d stopped to meet a contact of X’s and picked up new weapons. Being unprotected had felt like a very stupid idea, especially since we were aware that my father knew I was at the hospital. At first, I’d wondered why he hadn’t come to the hospital to kill me, but then I’d realized he wouldn’t want my punishment to be over so quickly. He’d want to drag out my fear and misery. Besides, he knew it didn’t matter if I left the hospital. Now he had Nicole, he knew I wouldn’t go far. He knew me well enough to predict I wouldn’t abandon my sister to his clutches.

  Being able to drive up to the Catskill Mountains, fully-armed, had at least felt like we had some way of fighting back should the worst happen and we found ourselves run off the road, or under ambush. But in the end, it looked like at least one of the guns was going to be used to attack rather than defend.

  “I’m worried you won’t make it back to me,” I told him.

  He leaned in and kissed me. “I will. I swear I will. Remember, this is what I do for a living. I’m not stupid. I won’t take any unnecessary risks. If things aren’t looking good, I’ll scope out the situation and come straight back to you, and we’ll think again. Okay?”

  I nodded. I should be thanking him for what he was doing for me, but I couldn’t get the words out of my mouth. All I wanted to say was don’t go. But he was right. I wouldn’t be able to carry on with my future without first dealing with my past.

  Chapter Four

  X

  I didn’t want to leave Vee, but I had no choice. I needed to do something to take away the hurt and regret in her eyes.

  I gathered the things I needed—gun, ammo, money, and cell phone. I also took one of my fake IDs with me, in case I was stopped by the cops.

  Coming to a stop in front of her, I reached out and tilted her chin up so her eyes met mine. “Stay inside,” I told her. “Keep the doors locked.”

  She rolled her eyes. “X, I’m not going to lock myself in the house. What if I want to go for a walk?”

  “Don’t. Just stay inside. You might slip and fall, and no one is here to help you.”

  She rolled her eyes again. “I’m not a child. I’m capable of going for a walk without falling down.”

  I kissed the tip of her nose. “I know. I’m just trying to think of all preventative measures.”

  She lifted her face, so my lips met hers, rather than her nose. I pulled her in tight against me as the kiss deepened. She broke it first and lifted her hand to touch my cheek. “Anyway, you’re the one going into the dangerous situation. I’ll be fine. Just make sure you get back to me in one piece.”

  “I will.”

  Forcing myself to release her, I turned to leave. The sooner I was gone, the sooner I’d be back, and then hopefully we’d be able to talk about what we were doing next. I still hoped for Mexico, but with the baby on the way, I wanted to take Vee to somewhere we could rely on the medical care. Perhaps Canada would be a better option. It might be cold, but I heard the healthcare was good.

  I glanced back over my shoulder as I headed to the truck. Vee stood in the doorway, a thick cardigan pulled around her slender frame. She lifted a hand in a half wave as she watched me go.

  I got to the end of the small road which led to the cabins, and turned the opposite direction to the one I’d taken that morning, away from town rather than toward it. New York City was a three hour drive from our location in the Catskill Mountains. I would use the time to think about what I’d need to do when I got there. I knew the location of Vee’s father’s house, but I wasn’t going to just turn up there and hope no one shot me before I managed to shoot him. I’d need to be smarter than that. He didn’t know who I was—as far as I was aware—and I was hoping to use that to my advantage. Vee’s sister, however, would recognize me. I didn’t want her to have any kind of reaction and give me away.

  I settled into the drive, one hand rested on the wheel, the other on the open driver’s window. Leaving the altitude of the mountains behind, the expanse of beech, oak, and sycamore trees gave way to houses, and more populated areas. I passed through a town and then had another rural stretch. I barely saw another vehicle, with not many tourists or vacationers coming up from the city at this time of year. I wanted to complete the drive without stopping, if I could. It had already reached early afternoon by the time I’d left, and though I didn’t mind arriving late to the city, I wanted to minimize the time I was away from Vee. Ideally, I wanted to be driving back to her either late tonight, or first thing tomorrow morning, hopefully with news that she was free from her father’s tyranny, and her sister was safe, and we could move on with our lives.

  My thoughts of her made my gaze flick down to the cell phone which was sitting in the drink holder—this car was too old for any kind of inbuilt in-car speaker. Had Vee tried to call me, or text me? The screen was dark, so it wasn’t showing anything, but perhaps I hadn’t noticed if something had come through. Thinking about it, I wasn’t sure I’d even changed the phone from silent, as I hated ring tones. They’d always jarred me, and in my line of work, anything to cause a noise that might give away my position wasn’t considered a good thing.

  I took my eyes off the road for just a second to pick up the phone and hit the button to bring the screen to life—

  Movement flitted from the left hand side of the road, darting straight out in front of me.

  “Fuck!”

  I slammed on the brakes, slowing the truck, but not slowing it enough. I felt the thud as I hit, the impact throwing me forward, but the seatbelt I wore keeping me from smashing my face on the steering wheel. The airbag didn’t deploy, though I wasn’t sure if that was because the truck was too old to have one, or it was switched off, or broken.

  But I was all right. Apart from possibly having a stiff neck in the morning, I was fine. I wasn’t sure about whatever I’d hit, however.

  I undid my seatbelt and opened the car door. Jumping down into the road, I checked around for other traffic. There was no one else around. Cautiously, I rounded the front of the vehicle.

  “Ah, shit.”

  A deer lay in the road. The animal was still alive, its eyes wide with fear and pain, its nostrils flared and snorting hot air as I approached. I put out my hand as though to calm it. What the hell was I going to do with an injured deer? The muzzle of the gun pressed into the back of my jeans where I’d placed it. I bit my lower lip. Why the hell did I feel worse about shooting an injured animal than I did about shooting another person?

  I didn’t have a choice, though. To leave the creature dying in the middle of the road was far more cruel than disposing of it quickly and humanely. I’d kill it then drag the body to the side of the road so it didn’t cause any more accidents. Considering how rural this area was, I suspected someone would spot the body soon enough, and decide he could feed his family venison for the rest of the month.

  Reaching into the back of my jeans for the gun, the animal’s legs suddenly jerked. I froze. It kicked again, and its eyes rolled. A frothy foam of spittle had formed around its mouth. For a moment, I thought I wasn’t going to need to shoot the deer and that nature would do the job for me, but then it kicked again. I took a step back, not wanting to get caught by one of its hooves. The deer half-rolled, legs scrabbling for the ground. It tried again, and this time got traction. Like a newborn standing for the first time, the deer staggered to its feet. It stood still, swaying, as though not quite sure how it had gotten there, then gave its head a shake. The animal turned and looked
at me over its shoulder, its brown eyes remorseful, as though asking me why I hadn’t been watching the road, then it took off, running in the opposite direction. The deer vanished off the side of the road and into the trees and bushes beyond.

  I stood rooted to the spot, watching the area where the animal had disappeared.

  I shook my head. “Jesus Christ.” I didn’t know why that had felt so surreal, but it had. Letting out a long breath, I checked the front of the truck. There was a noticeable dent in the grill, with a little blood and hair caught in the metal. I hoped the deer would be all right. I’d obviously hurt it. Glancing down at the asphalt where it had been lying, I noticed a little blood also glistening on the road. The injury hadn’t been bad enough to keep the animal down for long, though.

  With nothing else I could do, I walked back to the driver’s door, climbed in the truck, and pulled the door shut behind me. I remembered my reason for hitting the deer in the first place—that I’d been checking for calls from Vee. I checked again now, making sure I hadn’t missed anything.

  I hadn’t.

  I debated calling her myself, but I’d only been away for not much over an hour. I couldn’t be calling her that often, like some kind of love-struck teenager who couldn’t stand to be without his girl for a few hours. Anyway, I knew the cell coverage at the cabin was bad, so the call probably wouldn’t even connect, and I needed to keep going. I still had another couple of hours before I reached the city. I hadn’t left Vee to sit on the side of the road, chatting to her on the phone.

  I had a job to do, and the sooner it was done, the better.

  Chapter Five

  V

  With X gone, the hours dragged by.

  I tried to keep myself busy—cleaning the already spotless bathroom and kitchen, taking a nap, reading for a little while—but the whole time my eyes were drawn back to the clock, wishing the time away until he returned. I didn’t like being in this position—the little woman waiting at home, while her partner went out and did something dangerous. This wasn’t me, at all, but I recognized that putting my life in danger also meant putting our child’s life in danger, and I would do everything I could to protect the baby growing inside me.

  Despite X’s warnings, I decided to take a walk. I’d go crazy sitting around the house on my own all day. Besides, after all that time spent at Tony the Hound’s place, not being allowed to go anywhere without one of his henchmen, it was still a novelty to be able to go outside by myself.

  I grabbed my thickest sweater and left the cabin via the sliding doors which led down to the lake. The area around the cabin was so peaceful, with the wide expanse of water and the trees surrounding it. The final leaves still clinging to the branches were every hue of red, orange, and yellow. It was as though I were looking out across a work of art. Another month or so, and the lake would start to freeze over and the trees would be bare. I put my hand to my stomach. I’d be three months pregnant then and out of the danger zone. Would my pregnancy be visible to the outside world by then? Would my body have started looking like the full, round one X had envisaged?

  The thought of him made me smile as I walked around the perimeter of the lake, my hands shoved in my pockets. A couple of geese honked, and wings flapped across the still surface of the water, making me jump. I was still jittery, but that was understandable after everything I’d been through.

  I was enjoying the wide open space and the solitude. To my left, the trees thickened to forest which covered thousands of acres. Lured in by the carpet of fallen, brightly colored leaves, I left the edge of the lake and headed deeper between the trees. It was beautiful and serene here. Could X and I live somewhere like this after the baby was born? I imagined a small girl or boy running alongside me, kicking up the leaves and squealing with joy.

  Movement between the trees up ahead broke me from my daydream and sent my heart racing. I was sure the movement had been caused by a person, and automatically my mind leaped to the one I was most afraid of in this world. Instinctively, I slipped behind the closest tree and reached for the gun wedged down the back of my jeans. I’d brought it with me—I hadn’t intended to come out this way unprotected.

  “Miss?” A man’s voice, older. “Hello, Miss? I saw you there. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  My heart thrummed in my chest, adrenaline coursing through my veins. The voice sounded friendly enough, but it might be a trap to lure me out. I remained frozen in position, my shoulder and hip pressed up against the bark of the tree trunk. Footsteps crunched on the fallen leaves, moving closer toward me. My fingers tightened around the butt of my gun, preparing myself.

  A man in his late sixties or even seventies stepped in front of me. He was bundled up, wearing an orange high-vis jacket over the top of his regular clothes. He caught sight of me and a smile spread across his face.

  “Well, there you are. I was starting to think I was seeing things.”

  I stepped back, quickly hiding the gun behind my back and pushing it into the waistband of my jeans again. I pulled at my sweater, covering the bulge.

  “No, not seeing things,” I said quickly, forcing myself to smile back.

  “You’re not lost, are you?” He looked at me with concern in his blue eyes.

  His question made me laugh and my fear faded. “No, not at all. Just out for a walk.”

  “We don’t get many people walking around this area at this time of year. Especially not young women alone.”

  “Don’t worry. I can take care of myself.” My thoughts went to the gun and the bullet I’d almost put in him.

  “Are you staying nearby?”

  I didn’t want to answer him. I didn’t like the idea of telling a total stranger where I was sleeping at night.

  “Just visiting,” I said instead.

  His expression cleared and his chin lifted. “Oh, you must be the wife of the young man who came into the store this morning. You’re staying over at the cabins, is that right?”

  Damn. He obviously knew who we were. What had X been saying? It wasn’t like him to let his guard down.

  “Anna, isn’t it?” the man continued.

  I frowned. “Sorry?”

  “Your name? I’m sure your husband said Anna. I’m normally pretty good at remembering names.”

  I gave a nervous laugh. “Yes, that’s right. Sorry, I thought you said Emma.”

  “Oh, right.” He laughed in return. “Your husband met my wife, too. She was very charmed by him.”

  Husband. I liked the sound of that.

  “He has a way of charming people.”

  “I’m sure he does.”

  I glanced over my shoulder, back in the direction of the cabin. “I should probably be getting back. He’ll be wondering where I am.”

  “Of course. Don’t let me keep you. Are you sure I can’t walk you back?”

  “Really, I’m more than capable of looking after myself.”

  “Even in your condition?”

  Damn it. What the hell had X been saying? I didn’t like the idea of half the neighborhood knowing our business.

  “Absolutely,” I replied, forcing that fake smile I used so often.

  People always said just to be yourself, but I couldn’t be myself. How could I? If people saw the real person beneath the fake smiles and polite words, they’d run a mile. I was a killer. I’d taken lives. Some I’d regretted, others I hadn’t. Whether I did or not, it didn’t change who I was, and I wasn’t the type of person people wanted to have as a friend.

  “It was lovely to meet you, Anna,” he said. “I hope we’ll be seeing more of you and your husband.”

  “You, too.”

  Desperate to escape, I turned on my heel and headed back the same way I’d walked. My heart beat hard and my mouth was dry, a strange taste of metal coating my tongue. All the noises that had felt relaxing when I’d first left the house—the cry of a loon on the water, leaves crunching beneath foot, the whisper of the breeze in the branches overhead—now we
re too loud, overwhelming my senses. I picked up my pace, hurrying to get inside. I wanted to be within the four walls of the cabin, with all the doors and windows locked and the gun clutched in my hand.

  It was stupid to be spooked by some old man. He hadn’t meant me any harm. But for a moment back there, I’d truly believed my father was standing in front of me, and I was about to come face to face with him and learn what my punishment would be. I’d imagined myself shot, and the baby killed inside me, and X returning to the cabin to find my body left on the porch as a reminder not to fuck with Mickey Five Fingers.

  I ran back toward the sliding doors at the back of the property, my feet clomping on the decking in my effort to get inside and to relative safety. I yanked the doors open then stepped inside and pulled them shut again. Tugging at the drapes which covered the sliding doors, I slid them across the glass, blocking out the view of the lake and trees beyond. Hurrying around the rest of the cabin, I made sure everything was locked and the place secure.

  With nothing else to do, I slumped down onto the couch and put my head in my hands. I must be losing my mind, running away from an old man like I was a child spooked by something in the dark.

  I was normally content to be in my own company—I wasn’t someone who constantly craved the company of others—but I wished more than anything that I still had X with me. Except, I wasn’t completely alone. My hand slipped to my stomach. I still had a little piece of X left with me.

  The cabin was too quiet. I wished for a television or radio to switch on in order to create some background noise, but neither item was present. Checking the cell phone X had given me, my heart sank as I saw there was no cell coverage. I didn’t have any apps that would let me watch TV or listen to music anyway, but I’d hoped to call him and hear his voice, though I worried that by doing so I would give his location away to someone nearby. Would he have made it to New York yet? As long as the traffic had been okay, he’d already be there. Was he at my father’s place? Had he seen Nickie?