“Dad, what does this mean? How have you been paying all of your bills?”
“I had to quit paying a few of them.”
Lindsey leaned back in her seat, trying not to panic. In some ways her father was like a child, always had been. And she had been his mother. It was infuriating and sad at the same time. Why couldn’t she be more like Mel, create healthy boundaries, put herself first? Mel wasn’t selfish or ungenerous, she was just … strong. Exactly what Lindsey was always trying to be. Often failing.
“I have a job interview Tuesday morning. I think if you could just float me … say, three hundred dollars till I can get back on my feet, everything would be fine.”
Lindsey felt tears burning her eyelids. She had $300, but she’d spent the past few months saving for when she could afford to move out of Mel’s. She had hopes of renting her own place, somewhere with a large space that she could work in. On top of that, business had been slow for her since she didn’t have studio space right now. There wasn’t really $300 to spare.
And she knew she would never see it again from her father. It was not a loan.
“Dad, I—”
“I promise, mi hija, this will be the last time. The grocery store just wasn’t a good fit for me physically, but I feel like this job I got lined up could be the one. It’s just, the city has only given me till the rest of the week before they shut off my water. And the electric—”
“Dad. That’s enough.” Lindsey couldn’t stand to hear it. She saw Mel enter the dining room. “I’m sorry, Dad. I can’t bail you out anymore.”
Lindsey dug in her purse and slid him a twenty-dollar bill. “Here. It’s all I can do. That should cover gas for you to go fill out some applications. Do interviews.”
“Lindsey, I need you.”
“I’m sorry, Dad. I really am.”
She felt like she might cry but managed to put on a smile when Mel came back to the table. Her father also recovered by instantly reaching for Eden once again. But they didn’t speak much after that. When it was time to say good-bye he gave Eden and Mel a big hug and a kiss, telling them how much he loved them. Then he turned to Lindsey, gave her a quick sideways hug and told her he’d “see you next time.”
The entire exchange had left her feeling cold and guilty. And that wasn’t fair. She’d done so much for him. He’d never, ever treated her that way.
Before they walked back to Mel’s car, her sister looked at Lindsey. “Everything okay with Dad?”
“Of course, why?” Lindsey said.
“Just felt a little tense between you two. He didn’t ask you for money, did he?”
Lindsey reared back, looking shocked. Which wasn’t difficult because she definitely had not expected that question from Mel. “No.”
And now she was a liar. Which made her feel even shittier.
Mel didn’t look entirely convinced. “Okay, well, if he ever does, you don’t give it to him. Okay?”
That comment struck Lindsey as odd but she chose not to continue the conversation. She only shrugged. “Okay, whatever.”
Sixteen
One week.
That’s how long it had been since he’d walked away from Lindsey. Since they’d yelled at one another. And also when they’d had what had started out as totally amazing sex.
Glancing at his watch, Derek stood up from his desk. He had a presentation meeting in twenty minutes that he should be prepping for, but instead he was doing the only thing he seemed to be capable of anymore. Thinking of Lindsey.
He hated himself for how he’d left, but he’d been way too much of a pussy to try and reach out to her since. He’d been pushing her a lot lately and decided that maybe he should try hanging back. Actually give her that space she’d requested. She’d had valid reasons for withdrawing. And maybe he was just straight up stupid for thinking that they could ever get back what they’d had before. He’d gotten wrapped up in her, said things he probably shouldn’t have. But damn it, he hadn’t been lying. He had missed her. Thought of her. And she’d admitted the same.
His secretary knocked on the door and peeked her head in. “Davis is a little early, shall I send him in?”
“Yeah, that’s fine. I’m ready.”
Within an hour he was shaking hands with the man and signing contracts to fully design a new building for a new showroom and warehouse for Davis and Jennon Appliances. They wanted something modern and functional and had liked Derek’s initial ideas better than anyone else’s. Derek was pleased and felt slightly better once he’d walked Neil Davis outside and said good-bye after one more handshake.
Derek inhaled deeply. It was overcast, the sky gray and perfectly matching his mood. He decided to do what he normally did when he felt like crap, so he started to walk around the building. He found Mike leaning on a worktable, phone to his ear, a huge grin on his face. He nodded at Derek when he saw him.
“I love you, too.”
Derek angled his body away, annoyed by his friend’s conversation with his fiancée. Jealousy wasn’t a feeling Derek had often, and really never with Mike. He wanted his best friend to be happy, he deserved it more than anyone, but damn, right now anyone else’s relationship bliss pissed him the hell off. He heard Mike say good-bye and turned to face him.
“Hey, man, you’re just in time for lunch,” Mike said. “How about my treat and then we go get fitted for the tux?”
“Ah, man.” Derek sighed. A clothes fitting sounded like the last thing he wanted to do today. “Do we have to?”
“Anne’s been bugging me. It’s got to happen this week. Might as well get it out of the way.”
Derek almost protested but quickly realized he was being a dick. This was his friend’s wedding, he was his best man, and if he needed to go have some old guy push his nuts aside to find his inseam then so be it. “Okay, but you’re not treating. If anyone should be doing that it’s me.”
“You’ve twisted my arm,” Mike said, grabbing a shirt and pulling it over his tee. “I’ll drive. Let’s do the fitting first.”
Twenty minutes later they were crossing the river and heading into Kansas City, and Derek suddenly realized he hadn’t spoken one word the entire drive. He forced himself to speak. “So, uh, everything else ready for the wedding?”
Mike gave him a surprised look. “I think so. You looking to help?”
Derek laughed and shook his head. “No. I was just trying not to sit here and be a brooding asshole.”
“Yeah, about that. You okay?”
Derek didn’t respond right away. Then he decided to just lay it out there. “Linds and I had sex.”
Mike’s eyes went wide and he glanced quickly at Derek before looking back at the road. “Shit, man. Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“When did this happen?”
“A week ago when we were working at the house.”
Mike’s brow furrowed. “So, this is bad? Or this is good?”
“Well, it should have been good. But no. It’s pretty damn bad.”
“Shiiiit.” Mike looked out the windshield as he sat at a red light. “What happened?”
“Honestly? I don’t even know. I mean, I do, but I don’t know when it went wrong or what I can do to fix it. She accused me of trying to get back what we used to have.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Well … yeah.”
Mike seemed to be considering his next comment. “Did she say what she wished you would have done?”
“That’s just it, I don’t think she even knows. She’s hot and cold. I think we both are to a point.”
“So she’s scared.”
“I think so.”
“Understandable.” Mike took a left turn and headed down 14th Street. “Sounds like you two just need to talk it out.”
Derek laughed. “I don’t know if she wants to ever see me again.”
“Oh please, you know that’s not true. It can’t be that bad if she hasn’t gotten on the horn and bitched about what happened.”
“How do you know she hasn’t?”
Mike looked confused by the question. “Anne would have told me.”
“Why would Anne tell you if Lindsey called and talked about me?”
“Because Anne tells me everything.” Mike pulled into a parking garage.
“No way does she tell you everything,” Derek argued.
“Wanna bet?” Mike pulled into a spot and killed the engine on his Camaro.
“You seriously think Anne shares everything with you?” Derek turned in his seat, staring him down.
Mike shrugged. “Something like that she would. I know it.”
Derek shook his head. “I don’t believe that. Girls keep secrets.”
Mike opened his car door and looked at Derek. “Yeah, everyone keeps secrets, but now I’m her person. You know? The one. And she tells me stuff, especially when it’s her friends she’s worried about. Believe me, even things I’d rather not know.”
“Her person, huh?”
“Yeah. And it’s good. You need to get yourself a person.”
Maybe he did. It sounded good, and he’d never had that with a woman. Had never had that one person to always count on and turn to when you needed to unload. Find support. Just share stupid stuff with. He certainly hadn’t had that with Lisa, that was for damn sure. But he wanted it. More than anything.
“Come on.” Mike slid out of the car. “Let’s get your ass in here and get you all dolled up for my wedding.”
They were almost to the tux shop doorway when Mike turned and glared at Derek. “Hold up. Are you telling me you had sex in my new house before I did?” When Derek didn’t respond Mike just shook his head and opened the door. “That’s messed up, man.”
* * *
Lindsey got out of her vehicle and waved at Vanessa who was waiting on the porch of the farmhouse. It was a beautiful mid-March day. The kind that teased at spring just around the corner.
“Thank you so much for coming out on such short notice, and on a Friday evening,” Vanessa said, walking down the steps toward Lindsey.
“No problem. Hope I look okay,” she said, glancing down at her outfit. She’d chosen a bright red shirtdress that tied around her waist, strappy nude heels, and her hair was long and wavy. The best part was that she’d finally been able to remove her brace. She felt normal again.
Vanessa had called her this morning and asked if she could meet at the renovation site that evening for a quick photo shoot for the following week’s house article. Lindsey had been thrilled. She hoped it would give the entire thing a personal touch, boosting interest in her business.
“Please, you look gorgeous. That red is amazing on you.” Vanessa smiled before glancing down the road. “Everyone else should be here in just a minute. My photographer was about twenty minutes behind me.”
“No problem. Where would you like to do it?”
“Matt’s the photographer so he’ll know where the best light is, but I was sort of hoping to stand you two out in the yard with the house in the background. Then maybe a few in the garden with the patio behind you. So pretty since the flowers are starting to bud.”
Lindsey swallowed before speaking, her stomach turning. “You two?”
Right at that moment a large black pickup pulled into the drive, gravel crunching under its wheels. Lindsey’s eyes squeezed shut. What is he doing here?
“There he is,” Vanessa said in a singsongy voice. Lindsey looked at the ground as she heard the engine turn off and then the door close. “Oh and look at him all dressed up. Girl, you are so lucky.”
“Aren’t I?” Lindsey faked a smile and turned to see Derek walking up the drive toward them. And of course Vanessa was right. He looked gorgeous in crisp dark jeans and navy suit jacket. The purposely messy hair, hint of facial stubble, and white dress shirt casually unbuttoned at the top made him look like the ultimate playboy. His hands were casually tucked into his pants pockets, but his eyes stared right at Lindsey, anything but relaxed.
“In this next article I’m highlighting the two creative minds behind the project. A little about you and your business and Derek and his. How you’re both connected to the couple. I’m assuming you two knew each other before this project?” Vanessa asked as they watched Derek walk toward them.
“Uh, sort of,” Lindsey said. She suddenly had a feeling anything she said could be held against her. “We met in college but hadn’t seen each other in years.”
“Interesting. Okay. Well, I just thought a fun photo of the two of you would look great with the article. Something playful to show off your personalities.”
“Sounds good,” Lindsey lied.
“Hi, Derek,” Vanessa called. If she sensed any tension between her subjects she didn’t let on.
“Hello,” he said with an easy smile, his gaze turning to the journalist. “Nice to see you again, Vanessa.”
Lindsey folded her hands together, suddenly nervous. They hadn’t spoken since that day, and she wasn’t sure what kind of mood he’d be in.
“Lindsey, you look amazing.” Derek’s words were quiet and sincere. She wasn’t expecting that.
“Thank you.”
The crunching of gravel pulled all of their attention to the junky car driving up toward the house.
“Oh good, there’s Matt. I’ll just go chat with him quickly.”
“I’ll go with you,” Lindsey said, beginning to follow Vanessa.
Her path was suddenly blocked by a massive wall of delicious-smelling man. “No you don’t.”
Lindsey looked up into Derek’s eyes. “Excuse me, please.”
“Lindsey. It’s been ten days. The only reason I agreed to this photo shoot is because I wanted to see you.”
“So, what? So we could be angry at one another again?”
He visibly swallowed, his throat working between the sharply ironed collars of his dress shirt. The skin there looked so warm. So close. Why could he not leave her and her heart be?
“Okay, Matt agrees with me on this spot,” Vanessa said over Derek’s shoulder.
Lindsey stepped back from him, suddenly feeling the slight chill still lingering in the air.
“Where shall we stand?” Lindsey asked. They needed to get this over with.
Matt and Vanessa took over, moving Derek and Lindsey where they wanted them, moving them. Moving them again. Matt did some test shots, checking the light on his camera, adjusting settings.
“Okay,” Matt said. Finally. “Why don’t you two stand a little closer?”
Vanessa was standing off to the side holding a massive round reflector. “Looks great, you two. Smile.”
Lindsey smiled, feeling way too close to Derek for comfort. Matt took a few shots and then bent over to look at the back of his camera.
“I’ve missed you,” Derek whispered from beside her.
She didn’t turn toward him. What she wanted to do was close her eyes and take several deep breaths so she didn’t pass out. Had she eaten lunch today? Because she suddenly felt very weak.
Matt stood up. “Looking good, you two,” he called from his spot near the road. “Derek, let’s try standing a little closer to her.”
The photographer took a few more and then stared at them, obviously thinking. “Looks good, there’s just … I don’t know. Something’s off. I want you two to look like a team. A little more comradery.”
Lindsey turned to face Derek a little more. “This help?” she called out.
“That’s a little better.” Matt touched his chin. “Derek, how about you put an arm around her?”
“Why would he do that?” Lindsey said. She glanced at Vanessa, desperate for an explanation. “That’s not necessary, is it?”
“It’ll be cute. We take a lot, see what looks good. Let’s just try it.”
Derek slid his arm around Lindsey’s back and gripped her shoulder. She blew out a hard breath and pasted on a smile.
“Oh, that’s cute,” Vanessa said. “Lindsey, give it a little more attitude. Put your hand on
your hip.”
Lindsey sighed but did as Vanessa requested, plastering her smile back on as Matt took another round of photos.
“Love it,” he yelled across the yard.
“I’m sorry about what happened,” Derek said quietly.
“You have no reason to apologize,” she said, her smile still tightly in place.
“I disagree. I shouldn’t have stormed out like that.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment, just listened to Matt’s directions for another pose.
“I’m sorry, too,” Lindsey said quietly. “For freaking out. I might have overreacted.”
Lindsey let out a deep breath and then smiled at the camera once again. It felt good to apologize to him. She regretted how she’d acted that day and had played the entire scene over and over again in her mind. Her feelings and reactions had been genuine, but they’d both lost their temper. Having sex with Derek had started out feeling so right and things had just become too intense too fast. She hadn’t known how to process it.
“All right, let’s get a few in the backyard,” Matt called, walking toward them. Lindsey quickly extricated herself from Derek’s hold.
“Sounds good,” she said, heading for the backyard. Walking through the yard in her heels was far from graceful and she really wished she’d pulled up the rear. As it was she was walking like a moron and having to listen to Vanessa laugh at whatever the hell Derek had just said to her.
Rounding the side of the house, Lindsey forced herself not to glance across the yard at the old tree. She really never wanted to look at it again. Or think about that day. Even though it was pretty much the only thing she’d been thinking about for the past ten days. And now she knew she hadn’t been alone in her misery. Or regret. She wasn’t quite sure if that made her feel better or worse.
“Dad, my 3DS died. Can I have the car keys?” A small voice came from the opposite side of the house just as they stepped onto the garden patio. Lindsey looked over to see Tanner stepping through one of the overgrown trails in the garden. He had obviously been in the truck.
“Sure, bud.” Derek removed the keys from his pocket and tossed them to his son. “But remember, turn it—”
“Just until the radio comes on. I know, Dad.”
Draw Me Close Page 18
