“Hi, Tanner,” Lindsey found herself saying.
“Hey.” He smiled in response, almost as if he were surprised she’d said it. He nodded to a row of tulips that had just begun to bloom. “Your dress matches those flowers.”
Lindsey smiled. “You’re right. It does.”
Apparently finished with their conversation, he headed back to the front of the house. Lindsey turned to find Derek watching. She gave him a small smile and he returned it.
“Where should we stand this time?” Lindsey asked, wanting to keep the ball rolling.
“How about sitting on those steps?” Matt motioned to an old stone staircase on one side of the garden. It looked ancient but was surrounded by some beautiful white jonquils. “Derek, you sit first, lean forward resting your arms on your knees.”
Derek did as instructed, looking too damn handsome in the process. Matt turned to Lindsey. “Okay, you face this way and lean up against the side of him.”
Lindsey nearly rolled her eyes but did walk over to where Derek was seated.
“This is killing you, isn’t it?” he teased quietly.
Lindsey didn’t respond as she found the least jagged part of the rock to sit on and then carefully leaned back until she rested against Derek’s side.
“Let’s try one shoe on one step, the other on the lower. Show off those power heels,” Vanessa said, peeking over Matt’s shoulder. “Lindsey, how about you look over your shoulder at him.”
Lindsey glanced over her shoulder at Derek, unsure of what to do with her face.
“Oh no, that won’t work,” Vanessa yelled. “Derek, make her laugh.”
Derek turned to Lindsey, glancing over his own shoulder. “You want me to drop-kick Vanessa?” he whispered so only Lindsey could hear.
At his words she couldn’t help herself. She laughed, her shoulder shaking against his. His sexy laugh always lit her body up inside. Just as quickly she got control of herself and smiled at the camera. Damn, maybe that Vanessa knew what she was doing.
They could put on a good show if that was what the job required. But the truth was, being this close to him reminded her of why she’d begun to thaw toward him in the first place. He made it so easy to do.
There had been ten whole days to play it over again and again and Lindsey knew she’d pulled a fast one on Derek. It was something she needed to own up to. It was silly to keep being frustrated with him for everything wrong between them when she was just as responsible for the push and pull between them. She’d initiated things. Touched him. Wanted him.
He hadn’t done anything wrong, either. In fact, he was only guilty of making her feel too much. Too good. Too wanted. How could she hold that against him? The question was just … what was she going to do now? She’d apologized, but what was next after they’d taken things that far? It wasn’t as if they could pretend they hadn’t had sex, or certain words hadn’t been said.
Ten minutes later they were done and waving good-bye to Vanessa as she backed out of the driveway. Lindsey knew they weren’t really alone since she could hear Tanner’s video game coming from the window of Derek’s truck.
“Can we sit down a minute?” Derek held a hand out toward the front porch steps.
Lindsey nodded and walked over. She sat down and Derek joined her. Not too close, but not too far.
“Before you say anything else there’s something you need to explain to me. Why did you pay my hospital bill?” The next day she’d called the hospital, and sure enough, her total had been paid in full. Without insurance it had been nearly a thousand dollars.
He leaned over into the same pose he’d used on the garden stairs, forearms resting on his knees. Turning his head to the side he looked into her eyes. “I wanted to help you.”
“Why? What made you think I needed help?”
“Because I overhead you. From the hallway. You said you didn’t have any insurance. You sounded worried. I didn’t want that stress on your shoulders. Especially when I felt responsible for you getting hurt that day.”
Lindsey squeezed her eyes shut. How humiliating. A grown woman, closing in on thirty in a few years, and no insurance. Living with her family. Good Lord. “I plan to pay you back,” she said.
“Oh no.” He rounded on her, his eyes intense. “I won’t take your money so don’t ever bring it up again. Got it?”
Lindsey shook her head. “You don’t get to decide that. I refuse to be your charity case, Derek. And you can’t hide things like that. And as nice as it was, that’s part of the problem. You keep being too good to me. I don’t know how to handle it or how to interpret it.”
“Interpret it?”
“What does it mean? That you feel bad for me?”
Derek laughed. “Good gracious, woman.” He squatted down in front of her. “I feel bad for a lot of people in this world. But I’m not paying their hospital bills.”
“That still doesn’t tell me what it means.”
“It means … that I care about you. Is that so hard to understand? So maybe I can be a little heavy-handed. I’m a guy and we try to fix things. So tell me to ease up. Hell, pay me back if that will make you feel better. But just don’t pull away from me completely.”
She didn’t know how to respond to that. When Derek realized she wasn’t going to speak, he continued. “Lindsey, I don’t know if this is a good idea. I don’t know what will come of it. And maybe it’s a stupid idea. But I want to see if we can try this again.”
Her heart began to pound, her fingers fidgeting with the tie on her dress.
“I know you’re scared, Linds, but do you really think I’d reinsert myself into your life if I had any intention of hurting you again?”
“I don’t think you’d mean to hurt me again. I don’t think you wanted to hurt me the first time. But you did.”
“I know I did. But Linds, there are no guarantees in life. I can only tell you that I want this. Maybe we went about it wrong. Moved too fast. Doesn’t mean we can’t try again.”
“Maybe.” Lindsey glanced down at the ground, shocked at the turn in their conversation. When she showed up here an hour ago she would have never dreamed she’d end up having this discussion with Derek. “So you truly want us to try again?”
Lindsey lifted her head to find Derek grinning at her. “Go out with me,” he said.
“Like, on a date?”
“Yes. On a date.”
Lindsey laughed and glanced over at their cars parked in the driveway. She hoped Tanner wasn’t watching and that made her wonder what Derek had said to his son about her. About them. “I don’t know…”
“Say yes. We’ll do this right. Get to know each other again. No sprained wrists, no ambushing, no hiding in the bathroom.”
She thought about it for a moment. Or pretended to. There was only one word repeating over and over in her head.
“Yes. I’ll go out with you.”
Derek grinned. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. But just so we’re clear, when we go out—on a legit date—I pay.”
“I won’t argue with you on that one.”
Seventeen
After taking Tanner to dinner, Derek pulled onto the road that led to his house with a smug grin on his face. Today could not have gone better considering he’d been nervous as hell when he’d shown up for the photo shoot. He could tell by the look on her face that Lindsey had not been aware that he was coming. But thankfully it had accomplished just what he hoped when Vanessa had called his office. Forced them to speak to one another.
“Do you like that lady, Dad?” Tanner asked quietly from the passenger seat.
Derek smiled over at his son. “I do like her, Tan. What do you think about that?”
Tanner shrugged, looking unconcerned. More just thoughtful. “I think it’s okay.”
“You sure? I mean … I want you to tell me how you feel about things. Always.”
“I do,” Tanner said, refocusing on his Mario Kart game. After a few mom
ents Tanner spoke again. “Does she like you?”
Derek chuckled as he pulled into the driveway of their house. He put the truck in park and looked over at his son. “I think she does.”
“She seems mad a lot.”
Okay, he definitely didn’t want Tanner thinking that about Lindsey. The circumstances had been unfortunate every time the two were around each other and that wasn’t fair to either one of them. “That’s not true, Tanner. Lindsey is really nice. Sweet. I think she’s just still a little nervous about us liking each other.”
“Maybe she likes you but she just doesn’t want you to know it. Mom told me sometimes girls do that.”
“Your mom told you that? Huh.” The idea of Lisa giving their son advice on females made him a little nervous, but she ought to know better than he did what girls were thinking. He had always tried to be honest with his son, but this situation was throwing him a fast one. He’d never dated a woman seriously enough to introduce her to Tanner. In fact, he hadn’t really dated much at all. “She’s probably right that girls sometimes do that. But I think with Lindsey it’s different. When you grow up and like another person it’s a little scary. You’re afraid that if you start liking them a lot it will be really painful if they stop liking you back. Does that make sense?”
“Like you and Mom stopped liking each other?”
Well, if that didn’t gut him, Derek didn’t know what would. “Kind of, bud. Sometimes grown-ups just realize that they’d be better people if they weren’t married to each other.”
Sad but true. And Tanner seemed satisfied with the answer.
“I think Lindsey should like you. You’re pretty cool.”
Derek ruffled Tanner’s hair. “Thanks, bud. You’re pretty cool, too. You ready to go in?”
“Yeah.” Tanner picked up his backpack off the floor and then paused. “Dad, I hope she stops being nervous about it soon.”
“Yeah? How come?”
“Because she seems nice and if you lived with somebody nice you wouldn’t be lonely when I’m not here as much.”
“What do you mean? You’ll always be here as much as you are now.” Panic flooded Derek’s thoughts.
“I just heard Mom on the phone saying that if she married Lane I wouldn’t need to come here so much. But I want to, Dad. I wish I could come here every week.”
A hard knot formed in Derek’s throat as he took in the fear in his son’s eyes. God, he was so damned pissed at Lisa for causing Tanner to worry like this. Derek laid a hand on Tanner’s arm.
“Listen, I won’t ever let that happen. You understand me?”
Tanner nodded.
“Now let’s go inside, it’s getting late.”
Derek instructed Tanner to brush his teeth, use the restroom, and get a last drink of water. Once that was all finished he tucked him into bed, sitting beside him for a few minutes on the mattress.
“I say we sleep in tomorrow and then go to the bakery downtown for breakfast,” Derek said. “Sound like a plan?”
“Can I have two cinnamon rolls?”
Derek pretended to be put out for a moment. “Sure.”
Tanner grinned. “Okay. Sounds like a plan.” Tanner’s brows furrowed once more as they had in the car. “But Dad. I was thinking about something.”
Derek angled his body so he could lean one arm on the other side of Tanner, staring down at him. “Okay. What about?”
“Well, just, maybe you should try being really really nice to Lindsey so she starts to like you. Mom says you work too much. Maybe she’ll let me come here more if Lindsey is here to hang out with me while you’re working.”
Derek’s hands clenched and he pushed one into the bed, furious that Lisa planted these ideas in their son’s head. What the hell had she been saying? “Tanner, you know that I own my own business. That does make me busy, but it also means I decide when I work. I can take as much time as I need to be with you. I always will. Maybe your mom doesn’t realize that. But I’ll make sure she does.”
Except she sure as hell did know. It was all Derek could do not to completely trash-talk the woman, but he would never do that to his son. She was his mother and he was already confused as it was.
“Okay. I’ll tell her too.”
“How about you let me handle that? It’s between your mom and me. I don’t want you to worry about it. You’re the most important thing to me, that’s all you need to think about. Okay?” Derek thought for a moment, wondering how to put the next thing into words. “And how about we keep Lindsey between us for now? You know, until she’s not nervous anymore. I’ll tell your mom when the time is right. Deal?”
“Deal.” Tanner nodded, his head slipping against his pillow, and then he rolled onto his side, snuggling into the bed.
“I love you, bud.”
“Love you, Dad,” Tanner said in a sleepy voice.
Derek leaned over and kissed his son on the forehead before switching off the bedside lamp and going into his own room. Immediately he picked up his phone and opened an e-mail to his attorney. If he’d learned anything about divorce and custody battles, it was that he needed to be proactive not reactive. When she found out about Lindsey, the last thing she’d be feeling was charitable.
So, no, Tanner unfortunately was wrong. Nothing about Lindsey being back in his life would go over well with Lisa. And as bad as Derek felt for asking his son to keep secrets from his mother, he knew it was the only way to handle this right now. He wanted his son in his life more than anything. He also wanted Lindsey.
He was certain that he could have both, but he’d have to move slowly. This time he was going to do things his way, and that meant it was critical that he not hurt Lindsey or his son in the process.
* * *
Lindsey turned from side to side in front of the full-length mirror on the back of Anne’s bedroom closet, the skirt of her bridesmaid dress draping around her knees. Anne had chosen lovely sage gowns with a delicate eyelet overlay. The dress somehow managed to be classic and modern. It had a fitted waist that led into wide scalloped shoulder straps that showed a generous amount of cleavage. The skirt was full and even had pockets, a fun addition. Lindsey adored it.
“I absolutely love it, Anne,” Callie said, squeezing in next to Lindsey to see her reflection in the mirror. “How good do we look?”
Lindsey smiled. “I’m so grateful your mom was able to alter the straps so my boobs don’t fall out.”
“At least your boobs are capable of falling anywhere. Mine just stick straight out, no hang whatsoever. I want hang.” Callie cupped her own chest through the material.
“Get pregnant and then give birth,” Anne said behind them. “You’ll get more hang than you know what to do with.”
“I second that. You should see my sister. She’s nursing and her boobs are just … everywhere. She could carry a wallet underneath there.”
“Okay, now that’s a visual I didn’t need,” Callie said with a grimace, while pulling up her hair to imitate her wedding-day style.
“I’m telling you, Cal, you need to have a baby,” Anne said. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed watching them try on their dresses. “I give Bennett till the end of the year to propose.”
“Good Lord, what if that’s not what I want?” Callie asked, sitting down next to Anne on the giant bed.
Anne laughed and then leveled a stare at Callie. “Cal, you’ve been with me for a lot of my wedding planning, and if I had a dollar for every time you said ‘if this was my wedding I would,’ I could fly us all to the beach for my nuptials.”
“Okay, fine, I do say that. Sometimes. But it’s fun to think about. I mean, if you weren’t doing this it totally wouldn’t have come to mind.” Callie’s eyes quickly went from uncertain to sparkling. “But if he did, can’t you totally see him proposing this fall at halftime during one of his games?”
“So clearly you’ve given it a lot of thought. Have you and Bennett talked about it?” Lindsey asked.
“Not direc
tly, no. I mean, it’s only officially been like five months.” Callie pulled her legs around to the side and leaned on her hand. “We talk in dreams. Like, ‘someday I want to go to Hawaii,’ or ‘when I retire I want to travel the country in an RV.’ And then the other person agrees, and we discuss what we’ll do in detail. Ya know? Like a sort of … implied forever. Definitive words are scary.”
Anne nodded. “That actually makes perfect sense. And you’re right, it’s not been that long, but it wasn’t long for me and Mike, either. But I felt certain and I know he did, too.”
“Uh, no kidding, the guy was obsessed with you from day one,” Callie said. “Plus Mike is just a really good guy. We all know how much he loves you.”
Lindsey smiled at her friends. She would give anything to have what either of them had at this moment. Starting with the confidence of actually being certain of where they’d be sleeping six months from now all the way to knowing who’d be sleeping there next to them.
“Speaking of men,” Callie said, turning to Lindsey. “Tell us about your date last night.”
“Well, there isn’t much to tell.” Lindsey couldn’t help smiling.
“Uh-uh. I don’t believe that, especially with that goofy grin on your face,” Callie said.
Lindsey and Derek had now been on two dates. The first had been a Monday-night dinner at a small restaurant on the plaza near her sister’s house. Last night—Friday—they’d gone to a little jazz club and had a drink. Just enjoying the music. He’d held her hand. That had been it. On neither date had he kissed her, been inappropriate, or even mentioned the past. It was like they were truly starting over.
“It’s been … good. He calls me and asks me out. Like official dating style. It’s kind of weird, but I like it.”
And she did. Derek was sweet and charming. He opened doors, told her she looked pretty, and walked her to the door. If she’d never known him before she’d already be halfway in love with him. He was the perfect gentleman.
But something was missing. That hungry obsession they felt around one another still burned just under the surface. At least for her, and she was pretty sure it did for him, too. Sometimes she would catch him staring at her, his eyes intent.
Draw Me Close Page 19
