Lights Out

by Jill Cooper

  Condran lived in the latter while deserving the former.

  I killed my engine, the sudden silence welcome now that I knew to expect it. The snow hadn’t stopped or even slowed and its presence drew a comforting shawl around me. As long as it snowed, I had time. When it stopped, emergency vehicles and personnel would have an opportunity to start checking on things and getting the town back to normal.

  Even if the meteorologist claimed the storm would go on for days, there were no guarantees.

  My elevated heart rate testified to knowing that.

  I shimmied over Condran’s wrought iron gate, the curled embellishments more for looks than barring anyone out. Dropping to the other side, I sidled toward the brush bordering the yard. I didn’t need to leave evidence I’d been there. The least amount of tracks possible the better.

  The fact they’d be buried by more snow in the ensuing hours didn’t make me feel better. I couldn’t let my guard down.

  The silhouette of a car blocked the driveway for me.

  I’d recognize Sylvia’s red BMW anywhere. She used to pick me up to go out for lunch before the pregnancy. Before a lot of things.

  Back when we were friends and I valued her opinion.

  A sharp cracking from across the street startled me. I jumped to the side of the car.

  The top of a large elm gave under the weight of the snow and wind and collapsed to the ground, dragging with it power lines and a collection of mailboxes.

  If I wanted to do what I was planning, my time was running out and I had better act fast.

  But why was Sylvia’s car there? Why now? She was screwing the judge, obviously. No man with that much power got there without having control over some people. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d screwed him to keep her license. The bitch was a mess and she dropped chaos wherever she went.

  Killing babies. Destroying parents.

  And the judge absolved her of all guilt.

  But why would she go there during a storm? I pushed away from the protection of the car. By the end of the night, I would have to demand my own absolution.

  The possibility I’d have another orgasm occurred to me. Killing was more appealing than I’d thought it would be.

  And the chance I might be wrapping up my revenge with Sylvia and the judge in one stop filled my stomach with a curdling excitement. My nipples tightened as I thought of killing them in the throes of sex.

  I could enjoy that.

  A two-for-one. Didn’t get any better than that. Maybe it would heighten my sensations. Maybe it would lessen this hatred and I could finally move on.

  Or maybe it wouldn’t.

  Only one way to find out.

  I would enjoy that.

  Chapter 10

  Sylvia

  Welts along Sylvia’s backside stung. The aftermath never allowed her to hold onto the heady sensation of desire and satiety long.

  Time with Condran always left behind a dirty coating on her skin. Escape was usually the only way she could shake the used sensation from her limbs.

  His heavy breathing beside her did nothing to rekindle the desire her half-drunk state usually imagined. Why did she even come to him? Her power over him wasn’t much more than what she did to his cock and even then it only worked when they were in a forced dominance and one or the other was in pain.

  She rolled her head to glance toward the curtained windows. Bile rose in the back of her throat, but she swallowed it back. Blinking, she worked her mouth to rid her of the cottony texture her pre-dawn hangovers left.

  “Uhmmmh.” Condran rolled over, draping his arm over Sylvia’s waist.

  She shrugged him off and pushed the sheets from her. Staying there with him wasn’t why she came. She stood, chilly air biting at the naked skin of her butt.

  That’s what was off. No electricity. The hum of his air humidifier usually covered the soft padding of her steps across his carpet, but not that morning. Not when she could’ve used the protection.

  In the pitch black, Sylvia couldn’t see anything.

  An artificial glow came from the bed where Condran had turned on his cell phone, the screen illuminating the room. “Where are you going?” He shifted himself to lean against his elbows, watching Sylvia collect her clothing.

  “Home. I don’t need to be here anymore.” She could crash at home. She didn’t want to be around him when she was so down on herself.

  “Not in this weather. Hold on, I’ll get us a drink. I got this great rum from a buddy in the Caribbean.” He left the bed, dragging on a robe his wife had probably gotten him for Christmas.

  Rum. One of her great weaknesses. The fact that he knew how to keep a tight leash on her bothered her for only a minute. She didn’t care. She couldn’t think coherently without a stiff drink to bolster her resolve. Maybe she’d be more logical with a small drink. At least enough, she could drive in the snow.

  A sudden cracking from outside jerked them toward the window. A large tree snapped in half across the street, toppling power lines as it fell.

  “Great. I’ll have to turn on the generator. Come down when you’re ready. I’ll get our drinks together. I think a hot toddy would be perfect.” He didn’t even look at her as he left the room, probably because he knew she didn’t want to stay and he didn’t want to see it in her face. He took the light with him.

  She didn’t care. Maybe this time, she wouldn’t stay. Maybe this time she would be stronger than the rum and she’d leave.

  Maybe wasn’t half as convincing as a hot toddy beside the fire.

  Sylvia adjusted her bra and pulled on the rest of her clothes–just in case she had found the courage or strength to leave before Condran convinced her to stay for another round of power versus power. She hated her weakness for his use of the strap and the way he knew exactly how to mix her drinks.

  The man had a little too much control in the relationship. She’d have to cut him down, before she got too attached to a man she’d never be able to have.

  Oh, wait, she didn’t want him that way. Great, her hangover was getting more invasive on her thoughts and emotions than normal. Maybe it was the holiday season or the fact that she had no one but the judge and he was a pitiful person to be left with.

  He whistled some holiday tune and she rolled her eyes. She trailed her fingers down the silky banister as she descended the stairs.

  The bathroom was just off the hallway leading to the family room where the fireplace was. Sylvia stepped inside, lowering her pants to use the toilet. She could just make out the corner of the room in the fuzzy darkness. A lantern had been lit and bathed the area and out into the hallway with a warm orangeish glow.

  Condran piled wood in the fireplace, changing his whistle to a hum as he worked. She could see his backside and the back of his balding head as he knelt.

  She sighed softly. She couldn’t pee. As much alcohol as she drank, she didn’t drink enough water and was often too dehydrated to use the facilities more than once or twice a day. She’d have to do something to prevent a urinary tract infection, if she didn’t pee. Standing, she tugged her pants back up and buttoned them, moving to stand at the sink and stare at her shadowed features in the mirror.

  A woman’s voice flooded the lower floor of his house. “You stole my justice, Condran. I’m stealing it back.” In her hungover state, Sylvia recognized the voice, but she couldn’t focus on too many things. She blinked, freezing.

  “Wait! What? Who—” The whoosh of something moving through the air fast preceded the first thud. The second and third mingled with Condran’s groans and gurgles.

  Then silence.

  Sylvia pressed her clenched fist to her gaping mouth and she pushed against the wall.

  Wait. She knew that voice.

  Terri was out for revenge. She probably knew what Sylvia’s car looked like. She wasn’t there only for Condran–rest his soul.

  She’d be after Sylvia next.

  Through the crack between the open door and its jamb, Sylvia cou
ld just make out Terri’s shadowy form as she skulked past the bathroom toward the stairs.

  Sylvia tried not to breathe or move or give in to the parallel need to vomit and pee all at once. Now she needed to pee?

  Terri’s footsteps creaked on the stairs, up and up.

  Driven by an insane need to survive, Sylvia ignored the fallen man in the living room and tiptoed toward the back door. The footsteps above creaked as Terri searched the upper level. Why check his body when there was no way Terri would allow him to survive?

  Sylvia slid her boots on at the door. She had to do something to protect herself.

  But what?

  The flickering light from the lantern drew her attention.

  She strode to the glass-contained flame and tossed it to the base of the curtains in the living room. She ignored the prostrate body of her lover.

  Flames licked the brocade cloth in seconds. The large house had three floors. If Terri searched them all, she’d give the fire enough time to spread.

  If Sylvia were lucky, Terri would die in that fire.

  If she wasn’t, then Terri would be out for more than revenge for her dead son.

  Chapter 11

  Karen

  Time ticks by slow after your life has been threatened. I learned that as I stared out the glass door and waited for Jay to show. A glance here or there at my watch said I only hung up with him ten minutes ago. Truth was I could barely see the parking lot at all. The blanket of snow was falling down hard. Visibility must’ve been nil out there.

  What right did I have asking Jay to come out and meet me in this? What if he got into an accident? What if he was killed?

  Too many ‘what ifs’ in my life, that was for damn sure. I had half a mind to call Jay back and tell him to forget it. The flash drive could wait until tomorrow when the storm started to blow over. I didn’t have the heart to do that though. Part of me really needed to see Jay.

  I was beaten up and scared by some thug Silvia sent after me so the last thing I wanted was to be alone. A hospital full of patients, but I had never been more alone than when I was here. The halls crept with shadows and a reminder of my pain and bad choices.

  Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I glanced up at Nurse Beatrice. .She offered a slight smile. “Hey, your mom is on the phone.”

  I cringed. Personal phone calls at work. Great. “Sorry about that.” I pulled my pony tail back as I followed her and she eyed the purple bruise on my wrist.

  Sliding my sleeve back down, I cringed, a poor excuse for a smile. “Wet boots and waxed floors are a lethal combo.”

  “Yeah.” Her beady eyes followed me as I slid behind the desk and picked up the phone. “Mom?”

  “Oh heavens, you are there.” Mom’s voice was relieved but still stressed out. “Your father and I wanted to make sure you were safe and indoors. Why, when Jay called here looking for you…”

  “Jay called you?” I flipped through the patient charts while she spoke. It was good to keep my eyes and hands busy. I love my mom, but she always butted into my love life. Guess that’s just what moms do.

  “He was worried about you. Thought you might come here when you weren’t at your apartment. I suspected my girl might still be hard at work. Are you safe?” I couldn’t tell if she was fishing for information on Jay and I or if she was genuinely concerned.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. You?” My eyes gawked around the hospital floor, still nervous that someone might be coming who shouldn’t be.

  “We’re fine so far. Managed to convince your father not to start shoveling until it's safe to get a plow here. Speaking of, your father found a job. Offer came in this morning, isn’t that wonderful?” Her worry abated at hearing my voice.

  I breathed a sigh of relief and sank into my chair. “That’s great, Mom. Really great.”

  “It was hard for him, admitting he was laid off. And if you hadn’t swooped in with that money when you did, we would’ve lost our house. It would’ve gone to bank auction. I…just don’t know how we’ll ever thank you.”

  Chewing on my bottom lip, I tried to ignore the growing guilt in my gut. “You don’t have to thank me. You guys have always been there for me.”

  “We’ll pay you back someday. I don’t know how, but we will, sweetheart.”

  “You don’t have to.” It was blood money anyway. Plain and simple. I wanted no part of that money. What my parents didn’t know, couldn’t hurt them.

  The front door slid open and its squeak drew my attention. Bundled up and covered in a fresh coat of snow, Jay ran in and stomped off his boots as he made his way over to the station. His cheeks were bright red from the cold and his hair was messy as he tore off his winter cap, but he was as handsome as ever. The way his wet hair stuck up and fell to one side made my heart skip a beat.

  “I gotta go. Be safe, Mom.” I hung up the phone and stepped around the reception area to meet Jay. “Thanks for coming.”

  Jay nodded and his haunted eyes studied me. “It’s a damn wreck out there.”

  “I shouldn’t have asked you to come.” I cringed. “I’m sorry.”

  “Are you all right?” Jay stepped closer, but he stopped short of touching me. His hands were deep inside his pockets. Still, I wished for a deeper connection. He was concerned, that was something at least.

  “Got the fright put into me, but I’m okay. Did you…do you have it?” I studied him, like he hid the thumb drive or something on his person and I was going to have to look for it.

  Jay nodded. “I went home and got it, but until you give me some answers, I think I better hold onto it.”

  My eyes widened and I gave an exasperated sigh. “Jay…”

  “Don’t Jay me, Karen.” He huffed and his jaw tensed. “You said you were attacked and you need this drive, but I’m not going to hand it over and walk away. Not until you tell me what’s going on. If you’re in danger, someone needs to watch your back. Take you to the police.”

  “I’ll go to the police tomorrow. I promise. I want to, but—.” I extended my hand to him and waited for the drive. “Please.”

  Jay stared at my hand and gave a shake of his head. “It ain’t going to happen, Karen. Not until you start talking.”

  My tongue clicked against the inside of my cheek. “Fine. Then you better follow me.” What the hell, we were already broken up. How much worse could he think of me than he already did?

  ****

  In the break room, I poured Jay a cup of coffee into a styrafoam cup. It was easy to remember how he liked it, so I added two creamers and handed it off to him. He took a sip. The anxiety in my chest built quickly. “I don’t know where to start.”

  “The beginning? This morning? Anywhere you want, Karen, but just tell me something.”

  I never wanted him to find out. It’s hard to keep half-truths from someone you live with and Jay put up with a lot. More than a lot of people would put up with. Running a hand through my hair, I felt like screaming. “This morning, I thought I smelled alcohol on Sylvia when I saw her in the hall. I told her I wanted to talk to her tomorrow. She’s an alcoholic.”

  Surprised, Jay’s mouth opened, but he snapped it shut again.

  “She was supposed to stay away from it at work. That’s what she said she’d do.” I shoved my hands in my pockets and leaned against the counter. My head bent down low and I stared at the floor. “We had an arrangement. I…” I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t want to admit what I did. I didn’t want him to know what I had done.

  “Karen…” His boot squeaked on the floor. I didn’t want him to get any closer.

  I blurted it out. “I forged the records. I hid what Sylvia did the night the baby died. I…lied.” Glancing up, the look of horror on Jay’s face stopped me from saying anything else. His eyes bulged from his head and his complexion paled to a ghastly white in less than a second.

  “She killed that baby due to gross negligence. Incompetence.” I shrugged with tears in my eyes. “She was drunk. I helped her cover it up, an
d ever since then I can barely stand to be in my own skin.”

  “Why?” Jay’s voice was a mere whisper. A haunted whisper as his eyes drew sharp like I was someone he didn’t even know.

  I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand. “I was scared. She’s powerful. She promised she’d do away with the drinking, but she lied. And I fell for it. Then when the civil suit came up against her….” I covered my face with my hands and shook my head. The image of the briefcase flashed in my mind. My parents so deathly afraid of losing their house. Losing everything.

  “There was money.” My teeth ground together as I straightened up. I took a deep breath. “My dad had been unemployed for almost a year. They were going to lose the house. I needed that money…”

  “So you took a bribe? A pay off?” Jay slinked back and shook his head. “I don’t…. You wouldn’t have done those things, Karen.”

  I didn’t deserve his belief in me. The tenderness and sweetness were misplaced. Two things I might have deserved once, but not anymore. “I did those things. Maybe you don’t know me like you thought.” It broke my heart to say that. Admit that.

  “I know you.” Jay huffed and his eyes took me in. “I know I do, so how could you? How?”

  “I don’t know.” Hot tears stung my eyes and emotion gripped my hair. I squeezed my shirt tight like doing so would help me breathe, but each shaking breath was harder than the last.

  “Every day over the last year you lied and that’s not even the worst of it.” Jay seemed to grow taller as his anger intensified. I deserved all his words and more. So much more. “Terri and Clyde…their son? He lost his life, and you just covered it up?”

  “I’m ashamed of what I did.”

  “You should be,” Jay said and crossed his arms.

  My eyes turned away from him. “I had the original chart documents in my locker. They’re gone. Sylvia stole them back from me, but the flash drive…”

  Jay nodded with understanding. He pulled it from his pocket and spun it between his fingers. “You’re going to use this for…what? More money? A bargaining chip?”