Lights Out

by Jill Cooper

  “I’ll listen. Thank you, thank you so much.”

  Finally with somewhere to go, Jay ran out into the snow. The wind churned something fierce, and the bitterness of that cold clipped at his nose and ears. Pulling his hat down tight, Jay ducked his chin and nose into his jacket. He followed the wheelchair marks out into the parking lot.

  Snow was gusting around, threatening to cover up the wheelchair marks into a secretive grave. Jay had to be quick. He picked up his pace, following the trail, and clomping through the heavy snow. They led him away from the hospital and straight toward the library.

  The library? What could be there?

  Jay leaned against a tree trunk, desperate for shelter. Already his fingers were bitterly cold even through his thick gloves. He dialed Clyde and almost immediately he answered. “You got something?” His voice was rapid and impatient, unusual for the soft-spoken man, but Jay didn’t hold it against him.

  “The library. Why would Terri take her here?”

  A deep sigh on the other side said that Clyde knew why, but he wasn’t sharing information and Jay wasn’t going to press. “I’ll be there as fast as I can. You wait. Don’t face Terri alone.”

  Karen was in there. She was already hurt. Whatever Terri had planned—Jay couldn’t stand to wait. The idea that he could help her, save her, made his fingers itch with anticipation. “Clyde—.”

  “Don’t do anything foolish. Terri’s a good woman. She lost her compassion, her kindness, but underneath she’s good. I can reach her, you can’t.”

  Clyde hadn’t been able to reach her so far. Jay didn’t want to argue with man, but he wasn’t gonna let Karen die while he watched. “Terri’s your wife, I get it. But if you’re not here in ten minutes, I’m going in. She might be your primary concern, but she’s not mine. I’m not going to let her hurt Karen.”

  Had he made his point? Jay certainly hoped so. He didn’t want to kill Terri, but he’d do what he had to. To avoid any further arguments, Jay ended the call. He stuffed his phone in his pocket and held his arms tight around his body.

  Now all he could do was wait.

  And count the ticking of the clock.

  Let Karen be okay…. Let Karen be okay….

  Chapter 25

  Terri

  I snapped my fingers for the twelfth time in front of Karen’s face. The stupid girl would not stay awake. Her eyes were open and she would focus on something over my shoulder. Then her eyes would close and it’d start all over again. I was fastly losing my patience.

  Bracing my hands above my knees with an elbow hooked on the side of a chair, I stared at the ground. Something had been missing with Sylvia’s murder. But what? She wasn’t quite there when she finally died. So maybe it was something to do with that. Maybe I needed Karen to hurt more at the end in order for me to feel like revenge was achieved. Maybe that’s what I needed.

  The library basement had the smug overheated feel of a furnace that didn’t need electricity. In the middle of the storm, heat was the one thing I hadn’t been able to find. The warmth of the basement, among other things, had pulled me like a beacon.

  Six months ago I had placed quite a few cartons of C4 that I had bought off of Hank and his hapless friends right into this place.

  Once I got the wiring figured out, I’d be able to blow Sandpoint sky-high. Then it would be lights out for everyone. If I escaped, great. If I didn’t, I would go be with my baby.

  Maybe Clyde would get out. Maybe he wouldn’t. I was getting too tired to care.

  The throbbing in my leg had not dimmed. And with the heat, it seemed to throb harder. I ignored the blood that seeped very slowly from under my pant leg. I’d done all the tourniquets and everything. I had to undo it after so long.

  On one leg, I hopped to the collection of church style chairs. The kind that fold up and make a loud noise when they fall. I unfolded one and hobbled, using it as a crutch, until I could sit right in front of Karen. I needed to see when she woke up completely. Wouldn’t be long now. The girl was only cold. She wasn’t dead.

  Why did they always give IVs to people when they weren’t useful? I know they needed access, but seriously. Karen wasn’t dehydrated. If anything, she was waterlogged. They just pulled her butt out of the lake. Why had she gone down? Why was my luck so terrible that my plans could not go to form?

  Although, I settled into the seat. I was grateful for the opportunity to try again. To try my hand at killing Karen one more time. Her death hadn’t been exactly satisfying when I thought she was gone under the water. So, if anything, this would be my second chance.

  I reached into my pocket and pulled out the final wiring kit I’d made. I could never get the stupid red wire to hook correctly onto the charge.

  Closing my eyes, just for a moment, I basked in the heat from the furnace. In all of Sandpoint the emergency people chose the high school to shore up in. The high school was electricity dependent. And while it was just a few blocks away from the library, it was worlds away from survival ready.

  The library was large. It used to be the school. I’d gone there multiple times after Bobby had been born, to listen to the newborn storytelling and then the toddler storytelling on the third level. When the pain had become too much to bear, I’d lost myself in the stairwell, taking me down to the basement.

  Clyde had found me there a few times. He’d walked me home, in silence. He never expected more from me than I was able to give. And in the last couple years, that had been next to nothing. I could look at it and see it for what it was. We were both just lost. Me more than him. And I think the fact that I was lost and he couldn’t come and be lost with me was where my real pain came from.

  Why did I have to suffer alone? Why was I the only one to feel the pain?

  I hooked the wire just perfect around the charge, right as Karen moaned.

  Things were starting to look up. I carefully set the detonator on the floor beside me. Then, with my injured leg straight out to the side, I leaned in close to make sure my face was the only thing she saw.

  She blinked a few times. Moving her head from side to side, her eyelashes fluttered. She moaned again. Lifting her hand with all the blankets wrapped around it, Karen pressed at her temple. Maybe that would be the first place I hit her in the head. Right where hurt.

  “Finally, you wake up. Thought that was going to take a little bit longer.” I couldn’t help grinning like a Cheshire cat. I could feel the heat building inside me.

  Karen studied her hand and that kept her from warbling. She gripped the armrests of the wheelchair and adjusted herself. She focused her eyes on me. I could see when the realization and fear widened her pupils. “Terri. Terri, what are you doing?”

  “You know what I’m doing. We already talked this out. And now Sylvia’s gone so she can’t save you. And there won’t be any money to help you out this time either.” My smile hurt. I knew too much. And the knowing was going to take me under, too. How was I going to live with all this knowledge after my revenge? How was I going to do it? How was I going to survive?

  “Terri.” Karen’s sobs mounted. She shook her head. But instead of begging, her words took me by surprise. “I deserve to die. I do. There was nothing I could do to save your son, but I could’ve turned her in. My parents. They needed the money for help. I was stuck. I didn’t know what to do. But that’s no excuse. If you kill me, they’ll get more money. Maybe this will be the best thing. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry…”

  I drew back, like her words had slapped me in the face. She couldn’t be sorry. Sorry could not fix it. It was too late.

  I thrust myself from my seat, careful not to show my limp too much as I tried to pace.

  “What are you doing? What’s with all the barrels?” Her whisper became stronger. More filled with fear.

  I glanced over my shoulder, bracing my arms on the furnace. The warmth buffeted around me. “I’m going to utilize the gas pipeline under the building, I guess around the building, and I’m
going to tear out the infrastructure from underneath the city. The last thing most of these idiots ever see will be the beauty of the snow.”

  Ironic that my favorite thing was snow, and I couldn’t see it down in the basement. The dirty small rectangular window blocked most my view of anything.

  “You’re going to kill everyone?” Her words were still slurred just a bit. She made perfect sense, and I could tell that she was fully awake. Hypothermia did something to people.

  Just like loss did.

  “Yeah, well, these residents supported the judge. They kept people like you and Sylvia in the hospital. Nobody helped me. Nobody cared. Nobody cared about my baby.” I bit back the tears. I was stronger than crying anymore. I was stronger than all of this. I would ignore the pain in my leg a little longer.

  Maybe dying wouldn’t be so bad.

  “I’m glad that you’re awake. I need you to hurt in order for me to feel better.” I laughed under my breath.

  Turning, I hobbled back to the chair, no longer concerned if she saw my weaknesses or not. “I appreciate your apology. But it doesn’t fix anything. I’m not God and I don’t care about your repentance. All I care about is making this pain go away. So maybe, once you’re gone, I’ll be able to go in peace.” I smiled warmly at her. Just the thought of me being able to feel something again besides pain and hate and bitterness sent a warm fuzziness through me.

  Fuzziness. Who would’ve thought I could use a soft word like that in a time like this.

  Karen lifted her chin. Had to give her props. She didn’t even whimper when I pulled out a knife from my pocket. But I couldn’t kill her fast. My lesson learned with Sylvia was I killed her too fast. Sylvia was the one I really wanted to feel it.

  I rested my elbows on my knees. Turning my Bucks brand knife over in my hand, I considered the beauty of the piece.

  I had to shake the lethargic filling rushing through me. I knew it was associated with my injury. If I could just focus for a second. I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead.

  Things would be so much easier if I just blew up everyone.

  I glanced at the ground where I’d placed the detonator. So much easier.

  Chapter 26

  Karen

  I deserve to die. I deserve to…

  Had those been my words, had I really said them? Had I really felt that way? It was hard to think with how numb my fingers were. A killer headache rang out through my temples and I tried to filter through the noise, the spectrum of colors hitting me.

  Blinking my eyes hurt as if sandpaper had been shoved up under my lids. I twisted in my seat, trying to get a good view of Terri.

  She was in bad shape. Barely able to move.

  Once, Terri had been my patient. I cared for her and comforted her. I brought her ice chips and we talked. What was it I had said to her?

  Everything will be okay. Everything…

  Oh God, the pain twisted in my gut for everything I had done. Everything I had said. I was sorry, so sorry. When I said it, I saw the pain on Terri’s face like I had just killed her baby all over again.

  I could be sorry forever, but it wouldn’t fix things.

  Would my death fix things? No, but if that’s what Terri needed, maybe that’s what I ought to do.

  Die quietly. No complaining.

  But I couldn’t bring myself to sit still. Thick, hot tears streamed down my cheek and I twisted my wrists, trying to free myself from the chair. The ropes were too tight, they chafed my skin raw.

  “Terri…” I whispered and peered back with fright in my eyes.

  Death was coming for us. Whether we were ready or not.

  Chapter 27

  Clyde

  Clyde pulled his old friend’s, Russ Shoemaker’s, pickup truck over to the curb among the piles of snow right behind the library. Good old Russ hadn’t even asked him why he needed the truck in the middle of a blizzard. He just handed over the keys. Clyde wouldn’t soon forget that.

  The truck’s tires screeched to a halt and Clyde’s eyes trained on the snow covered pathway that led toward the door.

  Footprints. Wheel tracks.

  The old brick building was splattered with snow on the side. It was getting worse. Clyde’s plan might need some revision.

  Jay came out from his hiding place. His face lined with fear. He was young, he hadn’t seen her face and things that Clyde had, as a trucker on the open road. Clyde wasn’t going to have time to convince Jay to go along with this plan.

  He needed to do it alone.

  Desperate times, call for desperate action. Though at this point, Clyde was reacting. Reacting to Terri’s decisions and reacting to the police that were no doubt behind them.

  Clyde had looked guilty before, but now with surveillance pointing directly at Terri, there was little doubt what the police would suspect. If one of them was guilty, they both might be guilty.

  Time to get moving.

  He ignored the pain and clenching in his chest, and all those thoughts and memories that dared to try to push their way to the surface, Clyde forced them all back down.

  Leaping out of the truck, Clyde kept his head ducked low and pulled his hat down tighter. The wind was biting like a shark, but it wouldn’t keep him from getting to Terri. Clyde reached into the back of his pickup and grabbed the red container of gasoline.

  Jay appeared out of nowhere. “Whoa!” Jay grabbed his arm. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  Clyde yanked his arm free. “I’m doing what is necessary for you to get in there and get Karen out. Just a distraction, Jay. If we don’t stop Terri….” Jay couldn’t know. He couldn’t understand, quite frankly, Clyde was glad. Nobody should have to understand the dark thoughts that consumed Terri. Already those thoughts were pulling him down too.

  “I know, but are you sure this is really necessary? Is there another way we can distract her?”

  In this cold? Like Clyde had all the time in the world. Didn’t know what Terri was doing inside the library, but he could figure out was bad. He could only imagine the worst.

  “The longer she’s in there with Karen, the worse it is for Karen. You got it?”

  Jay didn’t answer right away. His eyes flicked left and right, but then he sighed as if he gave himself over to the plan. “Yeah, I got it.”

  Good. Clyde just head to the far side of library. “Get in position over there and out of sight. Terri can’t know you’re here, any more than she can know I’m here. We only have a few minutes. When she comes out, you run in.”

  “Is there sign? Is there something I should look for?”

  “You’ll know it when you see it,” Clyde said, as he hurried off into the surrounding trees.

  It didn’t take long for him to find what he was looking for. Some fallen brush, a few logs, and dead branches laying beneath the snow. He kicked off any loose snow with his thick boot and with the heavy worn side, he doused everything in gasoline.

  He threw the can down and took a few paces away, hiding further into the trees. “This was us, Terri.”

  Now, they were going to go up in smoke. Fire. Just like their house, their memories. Just like their baby boy.

  Clyde struck the flare with his thumb to light it up. Tossing onto the gasoline pile of deadwood, Clyde ran for cover.

  Time to watch it burn.

  The explosion rocked him back and Clyde hit his head against a solid trunk of a tree. Dazed, he shook his head and crawled along the snow, staying out of sight.

  The diversion worked. Someone in a large overcoat exited the library. With a hobble and a limp, Terri hobbled down the steps toward the burning fire, but Clyde barely recognized her. Chapped lips and wounded, this woman looked nothing like his beautiful bride.

  Limp hair. Brown circles beneath her eyes.

  So much pain and misery, she was drowning in it. Part of him felt for her so bad, just wanted to save her, and another part of him couldn’t fathom how he could even sympathize with her.

  How.
>
  But Clyde had held her. Made love to her. Stroked her pregnant belly. He saw her dance and laugh once.

  This wasn’t who she was. This wasn’t who Clyde was. They formed a loving union. A bond.

  How could Clyde not feel for her?

  He shrieked out without meaning to, didn’t even want to, but Clyde was out of choices. His future, good or bad, lay with saving her.

  “Terri!”

  She recoiled as if absolute horror had struck and then she turned, and limped back toward the library like someone lit a fire beneath her.

  As it turned out, Clyde had.

  Chapter 28

  Jay

  His heart pounded fast as his feet squeaked along library floor. The wheelchair’s tires had picked up dirt and grime. He used that trail to track the route Terri had taken with Karen.

  He hurried by the librarian’s office and stopped at the stairwell heading to the basement. There was a bloody fingerprint on the doorknob. This was the way they had gone. Jay was going to find Karen.

  He was going to get her out.

  Jay tried to hurry down the stairs without being too loud. It was dark when he hit ground level. He found his way down the hall with his fingertips against the coarse wall. At the end, he saw a bright light. As he got closer, he was able to make out the pitch of a door cracked open. The glass window filled with an orange glow.

  A woman’s soft cry, a whine for help, brought him closer.

  The exit door opened with his foot. He saw the base of the metal chair and heard the rumble of a boiler. Someone on the chair struggled and Jay made out that her legs were strapped tightly to it.

  It had to be Karen.

  Thinking of the consequences or what might happen, Jay pushed open the door and ran to her rescue. “Karen?”

  She gasped as her head turned toward him. Her forehead was wet with sweat from the heat the furnace was throwing off. Stepping inside was like stepping inside an oven—or someone’s personal hell. The entire time she didn’t stop fighting against the ropes binding her to the chair. “Jay!” Her voice was high and squeaky with fear.