by Mia Kayla
My insides loosened. Not like I didn't get along with my father, but I bonded with my mother on a totally different level. Call it a mother's intuition, but she knew me better than I knew myself sometimes.
"Go sit, Kent." Even the tone in her voice let me know she knew something was up. There was no hiding anything from this woman. She saw all.
I did as I was told, glancing around at the kitchen that had been newly remodeled. I could still remember when I was six years old and had climbed the counter to reach the top of the cabinets to get a box of cookies, only to fall on the floor and sprain my ankle. I had been a mischievous kid, even back then.
How life had changed.
Even during the last couple of years, I would’ve never predicted that I would be here today. Married with a child on the way. My life before marriage basically set me up to be a bachelor for life. At one time, I was content with that lifestyle. Until I met Beth.
My mother placed the placemat, plates, and silverware in front of me. The differences in my two households were pretty funny. I loved to cook for Beth and set the table before every meal. With my mother, I knew this was what she enjoyed. I wondered if she missed it when I still lived in the house. I remembered she had cried a million tears when I moved out for college.
"So how is she feeling?"
"Drained. Tired." Stressed, caused by the person sitting in front of you.
She spooned me a serving of stew and sat opposite of me, across our kitchen table.
"How about you?" she asked.
"Dealing." The anguish I felt overcame my control. After a beat, honesty leaked out, surprising me. "I don't know if I’m ready for all of this...for a child."
Her next words surprised me more. "I know."
"What? Great, I'm glad I'm so transparent." I huffed under my breath. Was I the worst human being to ever grace the planet?
"You think I don't know you?” A small smile graced her lips. “I raised you. And you're one of the kindest men with the biggest heart."
"Kind?" My laugh was sarcastic. "I doubt Beth would say that now."
My mother smiled her all-knowing smile. "Of course she would." She ducked in further and whispered, "But you're also the most selfish man on the planet. You're not the sharing type, Kent. I know you don't want to share your wife."
She couldn't have been more spot on.
Her smile turned serious. "And that's exactly what you'd be doing if you have this child. You'll be sharing your wife and yourself. To have a child is the most selfless act in the world."
I exhaled a heavy sigh, letting her words sink in. "Which is exactly the reason I'm going to suck at it." I stared at the mixture of carrots and celery and steak in my bowl.
"And that's where you're wrong, son." She placed her hand on top of mine and waited until I met her eyes. "You're going to love this child, not only because you have to...but because you want to." Her eyes lit with an inner glow. "And just when you think there is no more room for love in your life, that you can't love anyone else more than Beth, that your heart cannot possibly grow any bigger and allow room for another person, you'll be surprised at the ability your heart has to grow and let someone else in."
I sighed as I peered up at her loving eyes. My mother would forever have faith in me. A faith I didn't deserve.
"You said it yourself, Mother. I'm selfish. What if I fail?" The thought crippled me. Being unsuccessful at work was one thing. Being unsuccessful at raising a child was a whole new level of failure.
She squeezed my hand. "Look at you. Look how you've grown in the last year and how you care for Beth. You're stepping up at Plack Industries and soon you'll be running the company. You have no idea what you're capable of."
"That's different. This is a whole different level of responsibility, and I'm not sure I can handle it. This is raising another human being and making sure they turn out okay."
She gave me a pointed stare. "Listen, everything in life happens for a reason and, as selfish as I know you are, your ability to love surpasses that, two-fold. And at the end of the day, all that child will need is that—love."
Her eyes revealed such reverence, such certainty.
"God, I wish I could have your confidence."
"Have you ever heard that saying that mothers are always right? Well, it's true. Ninety-nine percent of the time."
A thoughtful smile curved my mouth and a shift of weight that I'd been feeling all day lifted from my shoulders. "What present do you have to show me?"
She sat back in her chair as her cheeks flushed pink.
I tilted my head. "Mother?"
“Well so..." She averted her eyes. "I know you don't even know the sex of the baby yet."
My smile widened. "Goodness, what did you buy?"
She let out a carefree laugh. "The question is what didn't I buy. I bought all of Nordstrom's baby section. I also may have contacted a very upscale crib manufacturer." She ducked her head into her soup and tried for nonchalance.
"Mother, we haven't even decided on cribs or anything like that. I think Beth would like to pick most of that stuff."
She met my eyes. "Oh, I know. Of course it's a special time and choosing and registering together is a memorable event. I would never rain on your parade. I'm talking about our baby room."
I frowned. "Your baby room?"
"Yes of course.” She raised both eyebrows as though my question was ridiculous. “We're going to have our own nursery, so when the baby comes over, he or she will have their own room at our place."
My eyes widened. "What does dad think about all of this?"
Her shoulders shook with laughter. "He's the one who picked out the stroller."
"Stroller?" My voice hitched.
"And the gigantic giraffe that we had to get shipped over in a truck from FAO Schwartz."
"Incredible. Mother. Just incredible." I shook my head and laughed. Only my mother.
When she straightened on her seat, her grin was ear to ear. "Your heart may be big enough to love this child, but my heart..." She pointed a finger in my direction. "I'm warning you in advance, this child is going to be the most spoiled in the universe, and I will make no apologies." She shrugged. "Forewarning. You may have to do a little damage control later. So you really should start thinking of having more right away...so the first one will be less spoiled. If that's even possible." Though her tone was playful, I knew she was dead serious.
I could only imagine how this child would grow up in the Plack household—spoiled rotten but, no doubt, fully adored. I snickered at the look of elation on my mother’s face and for the first time in the day, happy thoughts of the baby filtered through my head.
I pushed off the covers and glanced at the clock, noting that it was one thirty in the morning. Trying to sleep was out of the question. Even after two melatonin pills, every nerve in my body was wired. I couldn’t keep my eyes shut.
Restless, I stared at the ceiling as my fingers itched at my sides. Turning my head, I focused on my cell phone. In the next second, I grabbed it from the nightstand and scrolled through my pictures.
I stopped on a solo one of Beth, and my jaw tightened. I had taken the picture randomly when we’d been at the park. A few strands of her caramel hair had come loose from her ponytail and were splayed against her cheeks. Beth's nose was scrunched up, and she had crossed her eyes, making the silliest face.
A pain shot straight to my chest as I took her in. I didn't even have the energy to smile at her goofy picture.
My life before her had been so different. More carefree. But it had lacked color. Everything I saw since I’d met her had become vibrant and full of life. I couldn't go back to how my life was before. I gripped the phone in my hand as though it was my lifeline, feeling the cold metal dig into my palm.
Damn it! She was the one who had left me. The least she could’ve done was called me to tell me she was fine or to say goodnight.
My eyes narrowed at the only light illuminating our massive master bedr
oom. It was coming from the skyscrapers outside. I gritted my teeth, but my pride lost out as I dialed Beth's number.
She picked up on the second ring.
"Hey." Her tone was soft, angelic. The muscles in my chest tightened, making it difficult to breathe.
My eyes fell shut as I pictured her in pajamas, bare-faced yet beautiful.
"I couldn't sleep." Her sweet tone echoed through the receiver, and the pang in the center of my chest intensified.
My voice was barely audible. "Yeah, me either."
Silence ensued as I listened to her soft breathing.
"I miss you," she said gently.
I clenched my jaw and pinched the bridge of my nose. I wanted to yell, "Why did you leave then?" Stubbornly, I wanted to command her to come back…but that would have gotten us nowhere. My damn mouth was always getting me into trouble. Still, I could only do honesty.
"I miss you, too." I pushed my restless legs to the edge of the bed. As I sat in the corner and stared into the darkness, I let out a long, jagged breath. "What I said...about you leaving and all that nonsense about breaking up." I shook my head. "I didn't mean it."
"Okay." Her voice quivered with emotion.
"I say things sometimes that I don't mean when I'm worked up."
"Yeah... I know."
More silence spanned the distance between us, and I couldn't handle it anymore. "When you're done thinking...I want you to come home." I spoke in a broken whisper. "I mean, come home to me...okay?"
"Kent, this time was meant for you, too. You need to process how our lives are about to change without all the fighting between us."
I nodded though she couldn't see. "Yeah, I know." More silence. "Soon, okay, baby? Come home to me soon."
I heard a strangled sob through the phone. "Okay."
"I...I love you." I held my breath, waiting for her to say the words I needed to hear to shorten this distance between us.
"I love you, too."
Everything in me sagged with relief, and then I hung up the phone and stared into her beautiful picture on my cell for far too long. When almost an hour ticked by, I pulled the covers from the bed and headed to the living room.
I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep in our bed without her in it, so I plopped on the couch and blasted the television on high, drowning out the noise in my head.
Two days. Exactly forty-eight hours, thirty-two minutes, and fifty-three seconds ago, she had left me. To sort things out. Part of me wondered what things she had to sort out. All of me was scared to find out.
Brown Eyed Girl filled my ears as I sat back at the bar. The tall brunette could really belt it out as her fingers played the keys on the piano. You’d think the sweet melodies would calm the Armageddon inside of me, but it only reminded me of how much I missed my wife. I sat on the stool, staring blankly at the black marble bar in front of me. Night two was proving to be worse than night one. Because it was the weekend and we didn't have work, I hadn't seen or spoken to Beth the whole day.
I gripped the cold glass of whisky in my hand. I didn't know how many I'd had. I didn't even know what number drink this was. All I knew was maybe, just maybe, if I was butt ass drunk out of my mind, it would numb the pain.
Hell, couldn't have been worse than this. There was no way.
I rubbed my chest, feeling this endless pang that wouldn't go away. All because she’d left me.
Fuck!
I downed the drink and hit the counter with my glass ready for another round. The female bartender eyed me. Her judgmental eyes watched me, but she kept pouring. If I kept paying and tipping, she’d keep pouring.
Every passing minute, it got harder to not call her. I was coming up on the twenty-four hour mark since I'd last heard her voice. We'd never gone this long without speaking. Even when I was on a business trip, we’d talk or text or email every couple of hours.
From the corner of my eye, I saw another woman strolling my way. I groaned. I just wanted to be left alone to sulk in my misery, or to drink myself to oblivion, or until the liquor numbed the pain—whichever came first.
You'd think the glint of my platinum ring would keep them away, but it didn't. It was as if the ring was a flame and they were the moths. Three women had approached me this evening, and this would be the fourth. I thought maybe if I ignored them, they'd go away, but no. They just kept talking and talking and flirting, and all I wanted them to do was shut up. They thought their sexy tones turned me on? All I wanted to hear was one voice, one sweet voice, but that wasn't going to happen.
”Hey," the brunette said, plopping down next to me.
I examined the caramel-colored liquor in my glass, not lifting my eyes from my drink.
"Do you need a refill?" She angled closer.
I didn't answer. Maybe she'd get the hint. Or maybe, better yet, if I started talking to myself, they'd think I was mental and leave me alone.
Shit. I felt like I'd been heading there anyway since Beth had left me.
I lifted the glass, downed my drink in one gulp, and slammed the glass on the bar, indicating I wanted another.
"That bad, huh?" the brunette said.
I motioned to the bartender, not making eye contact with the brunette.
She leaned in closer and, when I got a whiff of her expensive perfume—Channel No. 5—I gagged.
In my former life, this woman's perfume alone would’ve gotten me hard. I'd take her to the bathroom and screw her brains out. Shit, I'd take her and some of her friends back to my place to have a little party of our own. That was my former life.
Now, the brunette's expensive perfume only made me nauseous. All I craved was the smell of apples and scent of fresh sunshine. I wanted Beth.
My back hurt from sleeping on the couch last night, but her scent permeated our bedroom and I couldn't take it. Maybe if I'd never met Beth, I'd be doing the same thing every night with a different girl. Now, I doubted I could even get it up for anyone else.
Beth had gone from being my world to screwing me for eternity by leaving me.
In the next second, I pushed the empty glass away from me and stood. Enough of this shit. I didn't care that I was piss ass drunk. I'd done enough thinking, and I'd given her the time she needed.
I threw cash on the table and wobbled out of the bar. I was ready to claim my wife and take her home.
Chapter 9
Beth:
The doorbell buzzed, waking me from my deep slumber. I reached to the ceiling in the most satisfying stretch and released a noise that sounded like an animal dying. I hadn't gotten much sleep last night with everything running through my mind, but tonight, as soon as my head hit the pillow, I knocked out as though someone had taken a baseball club and hit me on the head. I knew it had been the baby catching up on some shut-eye and draining all my energy. I rubbed my eyes with both palms and stood when the buzzing would not relent. I was curious at what all the commotion was about.
His deep voice caused me to push my feet through my slippers and rush to the living room, waking me like a cold pail of water.
"Are you crazy, Kent? It's almost one in the morning!" Caroline's scolding voice boomed from the entry, her face screaming annoyance.
Jeff was standing behind her as she pointed a finger at Kent. A picture of her same stance fifteen years from now flashed in my head, only her object of aggression would be directed toward Chase, not Kent. "She'll call you when she's ready. Have you been drinking?" She rolled her eyes. "Really?”
I moved into his line of sight and staggered to a stop. A rush of emotions bombarded me, the kind of emotion that ushered my feet forward like a line being pulled in by a fisherman. Just seeing him, when I hadn't seen him in over two days, had my hormones on high alert. I wanted to cry and jump his bones, all at the same time. It took all my energy to keep it together in front of him and pretend that I wasn't dying without him, even though my insides were crumbling.
He swayed toward me, but Caroline blocked his view.
Their two-bed
room apartment in the middle of downtown Chicago was small. I could see the living room, bathroom and kitchen from where I stood. Just a few steps forward and I’d be in his arms.
"We need to talk." Kent's tone begged to be heard.
"She doesn't want to talk to you!" Caroline crossed her arms over her chest, unmoving. My own personal body guard was not playing around.
"Caroline," Jeff pleaded with his wife and pulled at her arms. "Come on."
"Beth..." The way Kent uttered my name said it all. It was the longing in his voice and the pleading in his eyes that cracked my facade. He staggered to the left, his fingers stretched toward me, but Caroline matched his step, her jaw set.
"I don't think so, buddy."
He peered over her, his eyes were glossed over in his drunken state. "Please..." Kent's voice cracked with emotion, cutting through my tough girl skin.
Though I wanted to meet him halfway, my hands wrapped around my middle to keep myself together and protect the baby inside of me. But I knew we needed to talk.
Our issues were between the two of us, and even though I knew Caroline just wanted to protect me, I didn't want our problems to affect Kent’s and her relationship. "It's okay, Caroline."
She studied my face before Jeff tugged at her arms, forcing her to budge. My lips pursed together as I nodded and mouthed, "I'll be okay."
Her eyes darted between us before she rested on Kent's face. "Fine, but you know where to find us." She gave Kent the evil eye before letting her husband lead her into their bedroom.
When their bedroom door shut, Kent didn't waste any time, rushing toward me. "You're coming home," he breathed. It wasn't a question; it was a pleading command.
I reeled back from the stank of liquor heavy on his lips. He'd been drinking. Again. The way his eyes glossed over told me how much.
"You're drunk. Is this going to be a consistent habit every time we fight? Where have you been?"
"Out." He tugged on my hand. "I'm not taking any more of this nonsense. We'll settle all of this at home." His stance turned authoritative and that armor that I'd built was back up again.
