Imminent Danger: And How to Fly Straight Into It

by Proulx, Michelle

  Varrin walked silently beside her, glancing up occasionally at the starry night sky. What’s he thinking about? she wondered. Is he already planning his next big heist? He probably can’t wait to get off this boring little planet.

  Rounding the corner of Wells Hall, the pair walked down the hill and stopped at the bottom beneath the grassy expanse’s lone oak tree. Eris, feeling more and more depressed as the time for Varrin’s departure neared, collapsed on the ground beneath the boughs of the oak. She was surprised when Varrin quietly followed her lead.

  “You look miserable,” he observed.

  “You sure know how to appeal to a girl’s sensitive side.” She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly.

  “You should be ecstatic to be back home at last, but instead you look like someone just accidentally swallowed your pet kroompoi. What’s wrong with you?”

  “You wouldn’t understand,” Eris said. “It’s complicated.”

  Varrin swiveled to face her. She was entranced by the way the moonlight reflected in his gray eyes, and she fought the urge to push a stray lock of midnight hair out of his face. I wish I knew how to turn off my feelings for him, she thought miserably.

  “Then make it simple for me,” he said. “Tell me why you’re being so mopey.”

  “That isn’t a word.”

  “I don’t care. Talk, Eris.”

  “I just … Varrin, I hate it here! I thought if I survived my multiple abductions, and the lab, and the space battles, and the tongue baths, and—”

  Varrin leaned forward. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

  “Tongue baths,” Eris repeated. “Anyway, I thought that if I managed to live through all that, when I got back home I would just be able to fit back into my old life, pretend like none of it ever happened. But I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I hate my life! I’ve never liked it! I was always alone, and I never really knew where I was headed. My life was a huge, gray mass of dullness!”

  “Your descriptive skills have certainly improved,” he dead-panned.

  “And then you came along. Well, technically the Ssrisk came first, but then you blasted into my life like some fairy tale Prince Charming and rescued me. Of course, you turned out to be a complete jerk, selling me to Chakra Corp. and all that, but later I found out you’re actually a pretty decent guy.”

  “Now, let’s not get carried away.”

  Suddenly nervous, Eris looked down at her lap.

  Varrin reached out a hand and lifted her chin. “Why are you really sad?” he asked quietly. “The truth, now.”

  “I want to come with you, all right?” She threw her hands in the air. “But I can’t, obviously, since I’m a terrestrial and you’re wanted across the galaxy by pretty much everyone and their uncle for crimes I’m probably better off not knowing about because you have some weird need to double-cross every single person you come into contact with. So excuse me if I’m feeling a little upset right now!”

  Varrin looked pensive. “You know,” he said cautiously, “it doesn’t have to be this way.”

  Eris scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous. You have to get off this planet before the Psilosians pull themselves together and track you down.”

  “Actually, I was thinking you could come with me.”

  “You can’t just extend an invitation like that, Varrin.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, we both know you’ll get tired of me hanging around after a few weeks—maybe months, if I’m lucky. Then it’s off to the slave mines for me, and a nice cushy paycheck for you from whatever random group you sell me to.”

  “I wouldn’t get tired of you,” Varrin said seriously.

  “Sure you would.”

  “No, I wouldn’t. You’re … interesting.”

  “Interesting?” she repeated incredulously. “What does that even mean? You just want to keep me around to amuse you. But what happens when you get bored with me? I mean, I could make you swear you wouldn’t ditch me, but I can’t think of any oath you wouldn’t break if someone offered you enough money.”

  “How about marriage?” he said smoothly.

  Eris’s eyes narrowed. “Okay, I’m pretty sure I misheard you. Can you please repeat that?”

  “How about I marry you? That’s about as binding an oath as they come.”

  “Are you being serious?” she gaped. “Varrin, you can’t ask me to marry you!”

  “I can do whatever I want.”

  Varrin suddenly swept her up in his arms and pressed his mouth to hers in a passionate kiss. His lips were soft and warm, and she could feel her toes curling in contentment. Is this actually happening? Eris thought wildly. Then she felt herself melting against him, unable to form a coherent thought through the haze of mingled happiness and confusion.

  Finally, Varrin pulled away from her. Gasping, Eris stared up at him, trying to figure out what was going on behind his inscrutable gray eyes.

  “Well?” he smirked, tracing a hand down her flushed cheek. “Any more protests?”

  “You can’t propose to someone like that,” she told him sternly.

  “I want you. And I always get what I want. Why else would I ask you to marry me? You’re the strangest, most infuriating girl I’ve ever met. You drive me crazy, and I can’t stand the thought of not having you around. Understand?”

  “Not even a little bit.”

  “All right, consider it this way. Why wouldn’t you marry me?”

  Which reason should I start with? she thought. “Well, for one thing, you’re appallingly immoral at times.”

  “Which you’re well on your way to correcting,” Varrin noted.

  His hand twirled a strand of her hair round and round. Eris loved the sensation but refused to let it distract her. “You have a history of selling me out to the highest bidder,” she added.

  “Once you’re my wife, it would be economically impractical for me to do that.”

  “I’ve never even had a boyfriend before!”

  “Irrelevant,” he said, flashing her a devilish grin. “As I am a being of masculine perfection, any past lovers would be uncouth barbarians by comparison.”

  “Not to mention you’re from an entirely different species.”

  Varrin raised his index finger authoritatively. “I did some research, and it turns out that humans and Rakorsians are physically compatible in all the ways that count.”

  “You did some research?”

  “I did. And apparently, about ten thousand years ago, a small Rakorsian task force—”

  Eris held up her hand to silence him. “I know all that already.” But she had one more reason, one she knew Varrin couldn’t refute. “You nearly got me killed.”

  His smile abruptly disappeared. “I did, didn’t I?” Eris watched as the exiled prince stared off into the inky blackness of the night sky. “Maybe you’re right,” he said, a dark look in his eyes. “You deserve someone who won’t constantly put your life in mortal danger. I’ll go now.”

  “Oh, no, you don’t!” Eris snapped, seizing Varrin’s arm as he tried to stand. “I was just saying those things because I was confused. Of course I don’t want you to leave! I just wasn’t expecting you to propose to me. Look, you want to know the truth? I don’t care about what you might have done in the past. All that matters to me is if you’re willing to change. And you’ve proven that you are willing.”

  “You always cared before about all the terrible things I did,” he said suspiciously.

  Eris felt tears pooling in her eyes, but she resolutely brushed them away. “Varrin, you saved my life, in more ways than one. You said you couldn’t stand the idea of not having me around, remember? Well, I feel the same way. Do you understand what I’m trying to say to you?”

  “Not a clue.”

  “I love you, you idiot!”

  “Oh. I already knew that.”

  Eris was positively dumbfounded. “You did?”

  “Of
course. All women fall madly in love with me. It’s part of my charm.”

  Kari, he’s dense sometimes. “No, not like that,” she said. “I mean, I really love you.”

  Eris expected a witty retort, but instead he simply stared at her as if trying to solve some unfathomably complex mystery that only he could see or understand. Then he gently drew her into his arms. “Eris. Look at me,” he said. “I’m an alien. I cheat, I lie, I steal, and I don’t give a damn about it.”

  “As far as romantic speeches go, you fail.” She sighed.

  “That’s exactly my point,” Varrin explained. “You … you make me care. I don’t quite understand why I’m supposed to care most of the time, but you always explain it to me. Or hit me. Either one usually does the trick.”

  Eris smiled.

  “You’re everything I’m not,” he continued. “Half the time I don’t have the faintest idea what you’re talking about, or why you do the things you do, but …”

  “But?” she pressed.

  “I’d like to understand,” he said simply. “I don’t know why, but whenever you’re around, I’m … happy.”

  Eris shot him an incredulous look. “You want to marry me because you’re happy when I’m around? That’s not something to base an everlasting commitment on, Varrin! You just said that half the time I make you crazy, but that makes you happy?”

  “Yes,” Varrin agreed. Then he seized her and proceeded to kiss her senseless for the second time that day.

  He’s actually serious about this, isn’t he? she realized. Reluctantly pulling herself out of the kiss, Eris crossed her arms and fixed him with her sternest stare. “Varrin, if you’re really serious about having changed for the better, then you’ve got to actually commit to it.”

  Varrin pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Anything you want,” he promised. Then he paused. “Within reason.”

  “Okay. Then no more kidnapping me,” she said firmly. “No more lying to me, no more betraying me to various evil military personnel—oh, and you must call me by my proper name at all times. No more girl, human, or terrestrial.”

  The shaggy-haired prince grinned. “You’re an endless source of amusement, girl.”

  “What did I just say?” Eris scolded, smacking him on the chest but with a smile on her face. “So do you agree to my terms?”

  “I suppose.” Varrin sighed. “Now will you marry me, or not?”

  How can he act so cool and confident when he’s basically offering himself to me on a silver platter? she wondered. I wish I could just fling my arms around him and never let him go. That’s what always happens in fairy tales. The prince and princess get married and live happily ever after. He might be a prince, but I’m no princess, and this isn’t a fairy tale.

  “I’m mad about you, Varrin. I don’t deny it,” she said, gazing deeply into his eyes. “But I can’t marry you.”

  43

  Varrin leaned back, fixing Eris with a bewildered look. “What do you mean?” he demanded. “You just admitted you love me.”

  “That’s right.”

  “But you won’t marry me.”

  She reached out to take his hand, but he jerked it away from her. “Varrin, that’s not what I meant. I don’t want to marry you, but I—”

  His cold expression stopped her short. “I get it,” he said. “No explanation necessary.” He stood abruptly. “I’ll leave you alone,” he added, backing away.

  “No, wait!” Eris cried, scrambling to her feet. “That isn’t what I was trying to—you’re getting it all wrong!”

  “It certainly seems so,” he said coolly. “So sorry for imposing myself on you. Don’t worry. You’ll never see me again.”

  Eris knew that behind his façade, he was deeply hurt by her rejection. But before she could say another word, he turned, sprinted toward the trees at the edge of the lawn, and was lost in the darkness.

  “Varrin!” she called desperately.

  Eris raced after him even while thinking, I’ll never find him! He’s dressed all in black, not to mention he’s the stealthiest person I know. She searched for several minutes but couldn’t even find a trace of which way he’d gone.

  Exhausted and completely miserable, she stumbled back to the oak tree, collapsed to the ground, and dissolved into tears.

  Eris felt someone roughly shake her awake. Opening her eyes, she saw it was just past dawn, and Lisa was crouched in front of her, a disgusted look on her face. Eris propped herself up against the rough bark of the oak tree and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “Did I fall asleep out here?” she mumbled. “I look like a mess, don’t I?”

  “You do,” Lisa agreed. “But that’s not the point.” Although apparently it was part of the point, because as the blonde settled down beside Eris, she reached out and began rearranging Eris’s tousled locks. “Tell me about the guy,” she commanded as she worked.

  “Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” Eris grumbled.

  “I was heading to hapkido practice, but I saw you sleeping under the tree, and extensive outdoor exposure is murder on fair skin like yours, so I decided to come and tell you that, except you were crying in your sleep—”

  “Wonderful.”

  “—so I figured it must be a guy problem. Most likely that scrumptious guy you brought by last night.”

  Eris rubbed her temples tiredly. “Yeah. I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Tough. You made me late for practice, so now you have to fess up. No secrets among friends!”

  “Oh, fine. If it’ll make you go away.”

  “Awesome! So, what happened?”

  Eris twisted her fingers together. “He … okay, this is going to sound really strange, but he proposed to me.”

  Her roommate’s jaw dropped. “O-M-G.”

  “That’s what I said. Who just proposes to someone out of the blue like that?”

  “Men. Ugh.”

  “Right? So then I explained to him that he’s way too flighty to possibly commit to married life, and he promised to change, and that was great and everything, but I’m seventeen, for God’s sake, I can’t get married right now, and I tried to tell him that, except he wouldn’t listen.”

  Lisa winced. “You love him, don’t you? Oh, honey, you’re in way over your head.”

  “I’m aware. So when he asked me one more time if I’d marry him—”

  “You said no,” Lisa concluded for her. “Of course you did. You’re clearly nuts about the guy, but it was all way too quick, right? Did you tell him you wanted to take things slow?”

  Eris winced. “Actually, I never got to that part. He stormed off as soon as I said no.”

  “That jerk!”

  “He’s not a jerk. He just doesn’t take rejection well. I don’t think he’s very used to it.”

  “The idiot should have known better than to propose. Girlfriend, yes. Wife? Where was he born, the moon?”

  “So … what do I do?” Eris asked despondently.

  Lisa frowned. “Hmm … Does he live nearby?”

  “Not in any sense of the word.”

  “Has he left town yet?”

  “Probably.”

  “Is he coming back?”

  “No.”

  Lisa slapped Eris across the face.

  Shocked, Eris demanded, “What was that for?”

  “You’re being a fool! The man of your dreams is leaving you forever, and all you can do is cry about it? If you really love him, then go get him!”

  “But he thinks I hate him!”

  “That’s because he’s a moron. All men are. And since you’re the intelligent one in the relationship, it’s up to you to track him down and explain things.”

  “But what if he—”

  “It doesn’t matter what he thinks! Get off your butt and go declare your everlasting love!”

  Inspired, Eris jumped to her feet. She started to leave but then stopped. “Lisa,” she said. “Thank you. I guess I just needed some sense knocked into me.”

&n
bsp; “It’s the job of girls like me to help those less practiced in the ways of men,” Lisa responded primly. “Now go get him!”

  Eris gave Lisa a quick hug and then sprinted off up the hill.

  Eris hung up the payphone. She had a few minutes before her cab would arrive and decided she’d better call her mother before she left Earth again. I don’t know when I’ll see her again, she thought. I should at least tell her I’m okay and that I love her.

  Stepping back into the booth, she dialed home but got the answering machine. She waited for the beep and then said, “Hey, Mom, it’s Eris. Obviously. Who else would call you ‘Mom’? Anyway, I’m leaving again. This is going to sound really strange, but I’ve fallen in love. His name is Varrin, and he’s not exactly from around here. I wish I could tell you this in person, but our flight leaves really soon, so this message will have to be it. I love you so much, and I’m sorry for all the worry I caused you the last time I disappeared. You’re probably screaming at this point about how I’m too young to run off with a man, but I can tell you that I’m happy. I’m really happy.”

  Out of the corner of her eye, Eris saw the taxi pull up.

  “I’ll talk to you again but probably not for a while. I love you. I’ll miss you.” She hung up the phone and hurried over to the cab.

  Although the taxi driver drove quickly, Eris felt like the trip back to the field where she had left the shuttle took forever. When they pulled up at the side of the gravel road a few hundred yards from the clearing, she shoved all the money in her wallet at the driver and flew out of the cab. She sprinted down the deserted country road, eager to get back to the spaceship and see Varrin again. The longer I leave him alone, she thought as she ran, the more likely he is to confuse himself even more.

  Bursting into the clearing, Eris realized something was amiss. The field was completely empty. No spaceship. No Varrin. Just grass, and dirt, and two squirrels chasing each other.

  Is that it? Is it all over? Is he really gone?

  Eris stood, stunned, in the middle of the field. I can’t believe it! I lost my future with Varrin over such a stupid misunderstanding? She collapsed on the grass and buried her head in her hands. This is so unfair!