The Warrior - Initiation Driven Subversive Redemption Justice

by Rebecca Royce

  “You don’t think I know that? I nominated him. Not that anyone came close to being as qualified as he was. Chad was born for leadership.”

  I closed my eyes. Before we’d been attacked by vampire-worshiping humans, we’d had a few perfect moments in his sports utility vehicle together. His mouth pressed against mine, my body getting hot. So different than with Jason, where I seemed to leave my own body when we touched. I opened my eyes. It was wrong to even compare them. But I’d only been kissed by two guys—making comparisons was inevitable. Plus, Chad was dead. It wasn’t as if I could hurt him anymore. He would probably prefer me to remember kissing him than thinking of his altered face when he’d been changed into a vampire. Moments before I’d plunged my stake into his heart….

  “Rachel….” I rubbed at my forehead. “Life is for the living.” Keith’s voice had lowered an octave as he delivered that remark. “Too much of this grief—the kind you are carrying around like it’s your job—it’s not good for you. It’s not what Chad would have wanted. He’d want you to take the position.”

  “You speak for him now?” I raised my hand to stop his response. “I apologize. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.” And I wasn’t entirely certain why I had. “I’m not a leader. I never was. I’m the girl who you had to try to save on her sixteenth birthday. My skills have always been mid-level at best. Surviving a storm of evil does not make me good. It makes me lucky. Find someone else. No one would listen to me, anyway. They all think I’m losing my mind.”

  That last sentence, well, that was at least true.

  “Rachel.” I moved away from him as he spoke. “I can help you. Tiffani can make this better. We’ve been through a lot of loss. Student after student. We had to send all of you up and we had no idea if we’d see any of you again. I had to watch as you and Chad drove away on a mission I didn’t even believe in, knowing there was every chance both of you wouldn’t return.”

  “Keith.” I could barely speak as I rushed into his arms. He hugged me as if I mattered. “I’m sorry.”

  He thought I apologized for the attitude I’d been giving him. The truth is that I was sorry because the next day when I blew a lid off a vampire hole and led twenty young Warriors down into a lair, there was every chance that none of us would be coming back. We would be more people for him to mourn. These days I knew grief. We’d become best friends.

  “You’re going to be okay. Take the job. It’ll give you more to do, to take your mind off things.”

  I shook my head as I let go of him. “I have enough.” I patted his arm. “More than enough.”

  “Well, at least promise me that you’ll come by tomorrow night to see Tiffani and Levi.”

  “Yes. I’ll come.” If I still lived. Keith left and I waited a few minutes before following him back to our tent city. I didn’t need to be at Jason’s encampment, not with his father holding a meeting. I’d rather take a cold bath in the river.

  My tent called to me. I had three hours before I had to go out and fight the vampires. Maybe I could get a nap in. The non-Warriors mulled about, enjoying the remnants of the sunlight, knowing they’d have to go back inside, hoping we could keep the vamps back all night. Lately, we hadn’t seen any werewolf attacks and everyone felt certain it was because of the close vicinity of our own werewolves. None of Icahn’s crazed wolves wanted anything to do with Andon’s.

  The thought made me consider the meeting Andon had held. I could never let go of the idea that Andon plotted ways to remove Jason from me at every turn. Jason loved me. He’d certainly put up with enough lately to be with me. Still….

  I walked through the flap of my tent thinking only of my bed. Two and a half hours of sleep and then half an hour to get ready. Heaven.

  Except that Deacon lounged on my bed.

  He had lain down and was out cold. None of us slept deeply very often, never knowing when one of the alarms would sound. Daytime had the benefit of no vampires but the lack of werewolf attacks couldn’t be counted on to last. Warriors had to be on call all the time.

  Clearing my throat did not make Deacon move.

  I walked to the bed, bent over, and rubbed his arm. He smelled like mint tea. I hated to admit how much I loved that scent. I’d clearly spent too much time with Jason if I mused about aromas.

  “Deacon.”

  He moaned and opened his eyes. “Rachel, I was so happy to be asleep.”

  “Don’t whine. This is my bed. You know Jason can’t stand to smell you in here. Up.”

  “Do you want me out of your bed? I don’t care what wolf boy wants. I never have.”

  “I care what Jason wants and doesn’t want, so I want you out of my bed.”

  He muttered unintelligible words as he swung his legs over the side. “I was waiting for you. Where have you been?”

  “Do I report to you now?”

  He shook his head, and I looked away. Deacon defined male beauty, and I could barely stand it. Men shouldn’t have eyelashes as long as his. The dimple in his cheek? Not fair.

  “Of course not. We all report to you, right?” His eyes dared me to challenge him. All of a sudden, I wasn’t tired.

  “Deacon, so help me, I’m really not in the mood for this.”

  He stood up. “I came to thank you.”

  “For what?” I shouted at the top of my voice. I needed to holler at someone and Deacon had picked a bad time to fall asleep in my bed.

  “For tomorrow. In case there is no chance to say it. I know what you’re doing isn’t easy. It’s been hell on you. My family, if they still live, they’re in a vampire hole. The fact that you are willing to take steps to try to free them or others like them, means more to me than you’ll ever know.” He swallowed. I could see the muscles move in his throat. “So, thank you. For everything.”

  I sat down on the bed. My legs just seemed to go out from beneath me. “Deacon.”

  I had no other words.

  Chapter Three

  The night patrol had gone pretty smoothly. I’d taken down three vampires and we hadn’t lost any Warriors. But we’d been sent out a distance to fight in the woods. I had no idea how things had fared back at Genesis. The sun peeked over the horizon as I took my first steps back into our small tent town.

  Micah Lyons caught my eye. He leaned against a tree, cleaning ash off his stake. Apparently, he’d had success that night as well. Silently, I nodded. It was the only communication he would need to get our people ready.

  I hadn’t seen Jason all night, which seemed downright weird. He didn’t like me fighting the vampires, but we’d come to an understanding. He knew I’d fight and I knew he’d watch, sometimes from afar, sometimes right next to me, so if I got into trouble he could kill the vampire. So far, he’d not needed to save me. Where had he been tonight?

  As if he appeared because I thought of him, I saw him standing next to my tent. Unlike Deacon, he didn’t go in without being asked, which was silly considering he was my boyfriend. Jason could go into my home uninvited, only he never did.

  “Hello there,” I called out, trying to sound cheerful. I did feel better at seeing him. I hoped he could smell that on me.

  “Hi, pixie-lady.”

  Jason smelled like firewood. He must have been hauling it around. The fact that it still permeated his skin told me he hadn’t shifted recently. If he had, he would have smelled a little bit like his wolf. I closed my eyes. I didn’t care what scent he carried, I just liked it and didn’t mind indulging in the sensation when I hung out with him. Unlike when I happened to smell Deacon. I couldn’t even let myself think about his scent, it made me feel like I cheated on Jason.

  “Missed you tonight.”

  He nuzzled my head. “Did you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good.”

  We stood like that in silence for a minute. Finally, I spoke. “Want to come inside?”

  “Yes. We need to talk.”

  Inwardly, I groaned. It wouldn’t be good news for me. He’d just had a
pack meeting and now he needed to talk.

  “What’s going on?” I sat down and tried to smile. I struggled against screaming at the top of my lungs every time Jason’s father involved himself in our lives. Even if it meant simply pretending nothing bothered me.

  “Dad’s going to move the pack.”

  I nodded. This would be a loss for all of Genesis. Andon’s skills as a doctor were irreplaceable. Even if I hated him, I could acknowledge we were all healthier since he’d taken over the medical care of the camp.

  “And he wants you to go with him.”

  “He does, but beyond that, he needs me. Don’t forget how nomadic we are. Everything is set up for a certain amount of people to carry a certain amount of stuff. Without me, they will struggle.”

  I wasn’t a wolf, but I smelled nonsense. The pack had moved without a few of its members before. This went back to his deep-rooted need to never disappoint his father. I couldn’t relate to it. Mine hardly knew I existed and when he did remember, he got drunk to forget about it.

  My anger at Andon’s interference didn’t compare to the pain Jason had just plunged into the core of my soul. I stood up. I’d worried that I’d been too hard on him lately, not kind and understanding enough. Could he care so little about me that he could simply leave because his father decreed it? Tears fell from my eyes, and I did nothing to stop them. Let him see what pain he caused. Let him remember it for the rest of his days.

  “How can you do this? You tell me you are leaving me…” I could barely get the words out, “three hours before I am to lead people into a vampire lair. Well, great, Jason. Go.”

  I turned my back on him.

  “Rachel.”

  “Get out, Jason.”

  “No.” He grabbed me by my shoulders and whirled me around until we stood so close I could feel his breath on my face. “I’m not leaving today, and I will come back. Did you think I could leave you forever? Did you think I could cut out my own heart?”

  “Then you’re what? Going to help them move and come back?” I wiped at my eyes. His words didn’t lesson the fury raging through my body. My tears were as much anger as sadness.

  “Yes.” He kissed my forehead. “Did you think I was just going to go?”

  I nodded. “If you go, you won’t be back.”

  “I think I’ve proven to you, a few times now, that I am a man of my word. I came back when I said I would, I rescued you from the vampire lair where Chad died.” Now, he yelled.

  “I don’t need a list of your good deeds, Jason.” I yanked myself out of his arms. “I think in that respect we are probably even. I don’t believe that where your father is concerned anything will go as you believe it will.”

  “He has been trying to prove himself, too.”

  I knew Andon had been acting like he had turned over a new leaf, but I didn’t believe it. Not for one second.

  “Rachel, I will come back to you. As soon as I get them settled. Are you hearing me in whatever emotional whirlwind you’ve stepped into?”

  I’d heard him, but it seemed to me he hadn’t listened to me at all. “A little bit of time here, a little bit of time there, things will never be the same for us. Relationships require the other person to be present.”

  “I know.” He took my hand. Jason always gentled before I did, which was interesting considering he had the beast inside of him. “That’s why I hope you’ll come with me. In a little while.”

  I sat down right on the plastic floor of the tent. Before I could speak, I had to put my head between my legs. “What have I done to give you the impression that would ever happen?”

  He squatted down in front of me. “There was a time, mate of mine, when you wanted it more than anything. You were staying with me, do you remember?”

  Oh, I remembered. “That was before everything changed, everything in my world altered and I became a different person.”

  “I still see that version of you in there.” He placed his hand over my heart. “Beneath this tough-as-nails leader sits the girl I first met. She is still waiting to go away with me. Do what you have to do and then leave with me. It’s not complicated.”

  I loved Jason like I loved breathing but sometimes he didn’t get it. I understood his inability to see the truth about my situation. I really did. No matter how much time he spent with me and the others here at Genesis, he would always be a wolf. His first priority would always have to be his pack. He could not understand why I no longer wanted to be a part of his pack. A year ago I had wanted what he wanted, and he could not fathom what had changed.

  “There is a madman who wants to kill me. He will never stop plotting against me. If he dies, his son will continue his vendetta. He turned Chad into a vampire.” Jason flinched when I said Chad’s name. He didn’t like thinking about him either. However, it appeared the time had finally come where we were both going to have to be very real with one another. I could stick my head under my covers with the best of them. But I lived in reality. I had no choice. “His vampires are holding untold hundreds, maybe thousands of people hostage below ground. Need I remind you that your own mother is amongst those vampires? Exactly how long do you think that’s going to take me to fix?”

  “Rachel.” Jason sounded exhausted. “Why do you have to save the world? Why can’t we just be happy with each other? Isn’t that also kind of winning against the people who want you dead?”

  He had a point. I sighed, most of the anger releasing from my shoulders. “Yes. It is, I guess.” So why wasn’t it enough? I drummed my fingers over my face.

  “You’re exhausted.”

  “I am.” No need to deny the obvious. “I have three hours, or so, until I have to lead the others below. Are you guys all set?”

  “The wolves will be there to guard the woods and act as backup, if you need it. “

  We climbed into my bed together, Jason sniffing the sheets. “Deacon was in here again.”

  “I came in to find him asleep in my bed.”

  Jason groaned, shoving an arm over his eyes. “Sleep, I’ll wake you in two hours.”

  I curled up next to him. Jason wouldn’t sleep, not with Deacon’s smell all over the place. It was a male wolf thing. Territory meant everything. Another male had infringed on what belonged to him, and he’d be too agitated to let it go for a while.

  I understood the feeling perfectly. He was leaving? Even for short periods of time? Maybe it made me weak, but I’d thought we were in this together. The more the pack moved, the more distance there would be between Jason’s two worlds. How would he eventually pick? Would it be me that he chose? He was destined to be Alpha of his pack. How would that work for us?

  Leaning up to look at him, I kissed him on the lips. His arm moved away from his eyes and he grinned. “That was unexpected.”

  “I like to be surprising.” I kissed him again and he pulled me closer. We rolled around until we were locked in each other’s arms. He kissed me hard, over and over until I squirmed. My mind drifted to softer thoughts and imaginary pleasant experiences.

  My body wanted him, and I had to force myself to pull away.

  He raised an eyebrow as he panted. “Still no?”

  “I’m certainly not going to change my mind with you leaving.”

  That would be all that I needed. No. Moving forward physically wasn’t in our immediate future.

  “I’m coming back.”

  I closed my eyes. My body still felt hot, achy. I didn’t know what I needed to make it feel better. Well, I had a general idea. Still, I contemplated going out back and throwing myself into the river to cool down.

  “We’ll talk about this when I return. You really do need to sleep.”

  When did I ever get to sleep?

  ***

  The last person I wanted to run into on my way to battle was my father, Harold. So, of course there he stood, standing in my way on my path in the woods like he belonged there. It looked odd, actually. I couldn’t remember seeing him out his tent-slash-bar since
we’d moved above ground.

  “Rachel.” He said my name as if it pained him.

  “Harold.” I’d always called him Dad until I’d decided to stop a few months earlier. He hadn’t earned that title, and I was tired of pretending he had. If my mother had lived, things might have been different. Dwelling on what could have been made my chest ache, so I’d determined to stop.

  “Don’t do this.”

  I shook my head. “Walk into the woods?”

  “I know what you are doing. I heard the others talking. No one else would have understood what they meant, but I know what you can all do now. This is a mistake. End it.”

  I rubbed the spot on my forehead between my eyes. Was it possible to have a permanent ache there? “Why?”

  He blinked rapidly, his eyes red beneath his strained lids. Pretty soon his whole body would match the forever-rosy hue of his nose. He hadn’t looked so destroyed as a young man, or so the pictures showed. The photos that had been my pretend family when I’d been a child had been a beacon of light for me, like if I just tried hard enough he might once again become that man. That had never happened. My first taste of failure.

  “Because it’s a bad idea.”

  I wanted to shake him. “Why is it a bad idea, Harold?”

  “Someone might get hurt.”

  His response made no sense. “Yes. That is always a possibility. Every night someone could get hurt. Or killed.”

  “That’s different. This is a choice.”

  I put my hands on my hips and forced my mouth closed before I spoke words I would later regret. This was my father. He’d never cared for my welfare. Occasionally, he woke up from his personal stupor to pay attention for brief moments.

  He’d not made it on time to see me go upwards on my sixteenth birthday. I’d heard him calling for me, but the elevator had started its ascent already. He’d never once even made me lunch or concerned himself with whether I ate at all. I’d taken care of him.

  His one moment of glorious parenting had been the day he’d shown up in the woods when Jason had failed to come get me. I’d appreciated that. Harold had left Genesis when he thought I was dead, which showed real affection for me.