Poemsia

by Lang Leav

  “So I promised Verity I’d give her the grand tour,” said Sash.

  “Make sure you show her the fortress.”

  “The fortress?”

  “It’s actually a panic room, but we call it the fortress. It’s behind a secret door in the library. When we were kids, Sash and I used to play in there all the time. Didn’t we, Sash?”

  “Uh, yeah.” He cleared his throat, then turned to me. “Ready?”

  Sash took me straight to his bedroom and shut the door behind him. He flipped the lock and grinned.

  “So this is you,” I said with a wink.

  “This is me.” He winked back.

  The layout was similar to the room downstairs, stark and modern with views of the harbor. It was spotless, with the exception of his desk—a long, dark wood panel that stretched down the length of the room. On it, a tangle of cables bunched around an iMac, and beside it there was a mountain of graphic design equipment. I recognized the drawing tablet that Jess had been ogling for ages. A framed picture of Sash with Teddy, Tom, and Penelope was propped between a pile of Lego bricks and a stack of tattered paperbacks.

  “My parents are kind of neat freaks, but I’m allowed my one island of chaos. Our housekeeper has given up trying to keep my desk tidy.”

  “In the art world, we call it juxtaposition.”

  “Wow, you are so full of knowledge.”

  “I know so many things.”

  When I ventured closer, I saw bits of paper scattered around the table, drawings of buildings and architectural details. Then something caught my eye. On the top page of a spiral notebook there was a sketch of me chewing on the tip of a pen.

  “I didn’t know you were such an artist, Sash. When did you do this?”

  “It was the morning you got that email from Carry Way.”

  “If I’d known, I would have posed for you.”

  He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind; his warm, sweet mouth inched its way along my neck. “How about you pose for me now?” His voice had grown husky and was doing all kinds of things to me. I closed my eyes, leaning my body into his.

  He combed my hair to the side with his fingers, then undid the knot that held up my dress. It slipped off my shoulders, exposing my breasts. He ran his hands over them, thumbs circling my nipples. A sigh escaped from my lips.

  I turned to face him, meeting his mouth with mine. In one smooth motion, he lifted me onto the desk, his hands on either side of my hips.

  “Do you have any idea, Wolf, how many nights I’ve spent in this room lusting for you? Now here you are on my desk practically naked. You’re like a wet dream. Only I’m awake, so you’re a wet dream come true.”

  “You really know how to compliment a girl.”

  He laughed as I wrapped my arms around his neck, dragging my tongue across his earlobe. He took off his jacket and dropped it to the floor. My fingers went to work undoing his trousers, and I slid my hand in. He bit down on his bottom lip and let out a breath. “Jesus . . . ”

  Blood pulsed in my ears. My body hummed. “Do you want me to stop?” I teased.

  He was breathing hard, his eyes holding mine. “No, keep doing what you’re doing.”

  “Like this?”

  He groaned in response, dropping his head down on my shoulder.

  “Wolf—”

  “Mmmmm?”

  “Take off your underwear.”

  We left Sash’s room trying not to look too conspicuous. My face was flushed, and I hoped no one would guess what we’d been up to. Marcia was coming down the hall toward us.

  “Hey, you two! Where have you been? You’re missing out on all the fun.”

  “What’s going on?” asked Sash.

  “Mum’s just started a game of Sardines.”

  “Sardines?”

  “It’s similar to hide-and-seek, but in reverse. You hide while everyone else looks for you. When someone finds you, they join you in your hiding spot. And the person to hide in this game happens to be my dear mother,” Marcia explained.

  “Oh! I think I’ve heard of this game. You pack yourself into a closet or whatever, and it starts to get crowded, like a can of sardines.”

  “Exactly! Anyway, it’s coat girl’s job to wrangle all the guests and let them know the rules. I’ll see you two later.”

  “See you,” Sash called after her.

  “I hope Dotty wasn’t hiding in your bedroom,” I joked.

  Sash laughed. “Actually, I think I know exactly where she is. Follow me!”

  I went weak at the knees when we walked into the family library. There was shelving that took up an entire wall, with a ladder propped against it. Armchairs, rugs, and lamps were arranged artfully around a fireplace. The ceiling that soared above us was made almost entirely of glass, like an atrium. I made a noise in my throat that was halfway between a gasp and a moan. “I didn’t know places like this existed in real life.”

  “It gets better!” Sash walked over to the bookshelf and pressed his palm against a row of books. To my surprise, the books slid back, and the entire shelf clicked open like a door. This must be the panic room Penelope told us about earlier. We walked in, and sure enough, there was Dotty sitting on a couch with a glass of wine in her hand.

  “Quick, shut the door,” she whispered.

  “A bit unfair, Mum, considering most of the guests have no idea this room exists.”

  She gave us a cheeky smile. “Good! It gives me an excuse to take a break. Parties are exhausting, aren’t they? I can’t wait to get out of these shoes.”

  The door clicked open again, and Penelope appeared. “Thought I might find you here!”

  Dotty took a sip of her wine. “We might as well get comfortable. We’ll probably be here awhile.”

  We joined her on the couch, and I took in the room. It wasn’t how I imagined a panic room would look. In fact, aside from a panel of screens on one wall, it looked like an extension of the library.

  “This is cozy,” I said.

  Penelope looked at Sash. “Isn’t this where we had our first kiss?”

  Clearly, he was taken aback. “Uh, yeah, I think it could be.”

  I felt that now-familiar clench in my stomach—the one that happened when Penelope flaunted their history in front of me.

  Dotty must have sensed the sudden change in atmosphere because she turned to me and asked, “Verity, what’s it like being a published poet?”

  “I suppose I’m still getting used to the idea.”

  “Well, you’re a rare breed!” She tipped her wine glass at me. “Then again, you grew up in a bookstore, so your fate was probably set. You know, I’ve been to Wolf Books a few times. Found a gorgeous edition of The Little Prince. The store has so much character. It’s a real treasure trove if you’re looking for something rare. Have you been, Penny?”

  She shook her head. “Not yet.”

  “Oh, you would love it. It’s just your thing.” Dotty turned her attention back to me. “By the way, my daughter sent me some of your poems. I just have to say that the insights you have are quite remarkable for someone your age. I’m impressed.”

  “Thank you,” I beamed. I glanced at Penelope in time to catch a brief flash of anger in her eyes.

  “Oh, I almost forgot, Verity, you dropped this.” She extended her hand.

  “Thanks,” I said, thinking she’d found my keys. I had a terrible habit of losing them. But it wasn’t keys Penelope had pushed into my hand. I looked down, confused. It was a joint.

  I let out a short laugh. “Penelope, this isn’t mine.”

  “You left it on the kitchen counter earlier.”

  I felt everyone’s eyes on me, and my face reddened.

  Dotty looked at my hand, eyebrows furrowed. “Is that a joint?” She plucked it from me and held it up to her nose, taking a cou
ple of sniffs, nodding as if to confirm her suspicions.

  “It’s not mine,” I repeated.

  “Yes, it is,” Penelope insisted.

  Dotty looked from Penelope to me. She cleared her throat. “Verity, under no circumstances do we tolerate drugs in this family. I don’t know if Sash has mentioned it, but I head up a major antidrug organization. To be quite frank, this is the last thing I need.” Her voice was tense and sounded just the way she had spoken to the cook earlier. Only now it was directed at me.

  Sash looked from me to Penelope, and I could see that once again, he was torn. When he finally came to my defense, it was weak. “Maybe another party guest left it?”

  “Oh, it definitely belongs to Verity. I saw her drop it.”

  “You’re lying!” I cried.

  Dotty winced and turned to Sash. “You know we’re just about to launch a massive campaign, and I can’t have this anywhere near the media. They would have a field day!”

  Penelope was nodding furiously, and I suddenly recalled how Marcia said they often worked together. “It would be a disaster for sure! If this ever got out, the public would crucify you, Dotty. You’d have no other choice than to step down.”

  Dotty’s hand flew to her brow, as if the thought had only just occurred to her. “Oh, you’re absolutely right, Penny, and that would be unthinkable. All my years of hard work down the drain.” When her eyes met mine, they were flashing anger. “Look, I don’t know what you are up to, young lady, but I don’t like this one bit.”

  “Verity says it isn’t hers!” Sash insisted.

  “You’re suggesting that Penny is lying? One of them must be.”

  Penelope crossed her arms. “Well, it’s not me.”

  I took a deep breath, feeling panic rise up in my chest. It was obvious whose side Dotty was on. As for Sash, it hurt that I wasn’t quite sure.

  “Come on, Pen, just tell the truth,” he pressed. The pleading tone in his voice infuriated me.

  “You leave Penny alone!” snapped Dotty. “You’ve known her all your life. And this girl? You’ve known her five minutes. It’s no coincidence that since you’ve met her, your career is going down the drain. You turned down the job offer with Das Haus—the one your dad jumped through hoops to get for you.”

  I gaped at them. Sash had mentioned the offer once, but he hadn’t brought it up since. I had no idea how strongly his parents felt about it.

  “Verity has nothing to do with that, Mum. That was my decision.”

  “Well, Penny did warn me that Verity might be a bad influence on you, and I’m starting to wish I had listened to her.”

  Suddenly, it made perfect sense why Penelope had been so nice to me all night. It was part of her plan to show me up in front of Sash’s mother. Jess was right: Penelope had been plotting against me. She would have worked on Dotty weeks in advance, planting seeds of doubt about me. Tonight, I walked right into her trap.

  I stood up. “Look, I think I should go.”

  “Good idea,” said Penelope.

  “Verity, wait!” Sash got to his feet.

  “No, you stay here, Sash. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “But—”

  “Let her go,” Dotty barked. “It’s your father’s birthday, and we’re celebrating as a family.” The way she put the emphasis on the word “family” told me Penelope was part of that and I wasn’t. I’d never felt more like an outsider.

  I glanced at her and caught the hint of a smirk at the corners of her mouth. I had never disliked another human being so much in my life. Hot tears springing to my eyes, I turned and pushed my way out of the room, then out of the house.

  The cool air hit me when I stepped outside, reminding me I’d forgotten my coat. But I didn’t want to go back inside and risk running into Marcia. I didn’t want to have to explain myself while I was choking back tears. I crossed my arms over my chest and shivered. How could I go from being so blissfully happy to feeling this low? I pulled my phone out to call myself an Uber and heard footsteps pounding the path behind.

  “Wolf!”

  I turned to see Sash running toward me, my coat in his hands. He wrapped it around my shoulders, rubbing the sides of my arms. “You’re shivering.”

  I stared down at my feet, wiping away tears. I felt utterly humiliated and knew that if I looked at him, I’d fall apart. “It wasn’t mine,” I said, in a small voice, and I hated the fact that I had to defend myself. It meant no one else was on my side.

  “I believe you,” he said earnestly.

  “I don’t know, Sash,” I said sadly. “It didn’t look as if you were all that sure back there. When it comes to Penelope, you seem to have a blind spot.” Finally, I raised my eyes to meet his, and it felt as though what either one of us said next could change everything.

  Sash went first. “I want to make something clear. If you thought there was any doubt in my mind whose side I was on, you’re wrong. I’m on yours, Wolf. The way I acted was out of loyalty to an old friend, not because I still have feelings for Pen.”

  I shook my head. “Sorry, Sash, I’m not sure if I believe you. To be honest, it didn’t look that way to me. Your friends keep telling me you and Penelope are unfinished business. Maybe you need to finish it once and for all, before you start again with me.” It broke my heart to say those words, knowing this could be the end for us.

  “No.” He said the word with such force it took me by surprise. I wished he had been that certain back in the panic room when it mattered.

  “Look,” he continued, running a hand through his hair, “I’m so scared I’ll say the wrong thing because I feel deeply that this is the one time I shouldn’t screw up. You came bursting into my life carrying bucketloads of sunshine, saying every last thing that pops into your head. Suddenly, I couldn’t get you out of mine.”

  “Sash—” I felt myself waver.

  He was talking fast now, as if I could vanish at any moment. “I can’t bear the thought of going back to the cardboard-cutout life I had before I knew you—before you showed me what it was like to laugh out loud and not care what anyone thinks. You are unapologetically yourself, and you have no idea how refreshing that is. You won’t believe how glad I am to have met you, and I love you, Wolf. I love everything that comes with that. I love the shop and its loud clanging bell, and I love Zorro, even if he keeps trying to kill me. I love Pop and our crazy debates, and I love Jess because of how much she loves you. I love all of it because I don’t think I’ve ever belonged anywhere as much as I do with you. Before I even knew what I wanted, it was this.”

  Tears coursed their way down my cheeks, and I felt the knot of anger in my chest gradually melt away.

  “I love you too, Sash—we all do,” I whispered, and his shoulders sagged with relief.

  “Are we OK?” His eyes searched mine.

  I nodded. “I think so.”

  He let out a long sigh, kissing my face over and over. We whispered words of how much we loved each other, and all my doubts about Penelope faded into the background.

  “You’re right; we deserve a fresh start. From now on, it’s just you and me. I’ll talk to Mum tomorrow and explain what’s been going on. I’m sure she’ll understand.”

  “Your spin doctors are gonna have to work overtime.”

  “That’s right—I’m your PR man; remember?”

  “You put the D in damage control.”

  A smile lit up his face. “How did I ever find someone as amazing as you?” He drew me into his arms and held me tightly. I pushed my head into the warmth of his neck and felt wave after wave of happiness engulf me.

  A little ruffling noise caught my attention, and I broke away.

  “Uh-oh, looks like we’ve got company.”

  Standing by Sash’s feet and looking up was Little Lord Fauntleroy, tail wagging.

  “Hey, Monty.”
I crouched down and, with great apprehension, went to stroke him. He froze for a moment, then he gingerly stuck out his tongue and licked my fingers. I scratched under his chin, and he closed his eyes, tipping back his head.

  “How about that,” Sash beamed. “Looks like our spin doctors are already making headway. Public opinion has shifted dramatically in the last thirty seconds.”

  “I knew I could count on you!”

  We laughed as Monty rolled onto his back, legs stuck in the air, making strange, raspy noises.

  “He likes it when you scratch his belly.”

  “Sounds like someone I know,” I teased.

  “But it’s so soothing!” he protested.

  I scooped Monty up and popped him onto my shoulder. I could tell by the way he was chewing on my hair that this was the start of a beautiful friendship.

  Sash shook his head. “Can’t believe you’re going so soon.”

  “Only for a couple of weeks.”

  “God, I’m going to miss you, Wolf.”

  “You’ll take care of Pop for me, won’t you?”

  “You know I will.”

  PART TWO

  Eleven

  (New York)

  “On the count of three,” I said.

  Jess’s eyes twinkled. “One.”

  “Two.” I grinned.

  “Three!” she finished.

  At the exact same time, we bit into our first official meal in New York City—two hot dogs slathered in ketchup, pickles, and mustard that we bought at a street cart on Lexington Avenue from a guy named Lorenzo. When we mentioned it was our first time in the city, he gave us a couple of Diet Cokes and said they were on him.

  “Oh my God, this hot dog is amazing!” I moaned.

  “Mmmmm.” Jess turned and gave Lorenzo the thumbs-up sign.

  We had arrived at Newark that morning on a flight I thought would never end. I felt lightheaded and giddy as I stepped off the plane, despite looking like hell, my hair oily and matted against my forehead and a blemish forming on my chin. Meanwhile, Jess looked like she’d been at a spa. Typical.