One Mother Wanted

by Jeanne Allan

  Swooping her up with one arm, Zane squeezed her. “Not today. We’ll have cake and ice cream on my other birthday.”

  “I want it now.”

  “Now we have things to do. We have to pack. I’ve decided I’m going to Texas, and you’re going to stay with Allie.”

  “I am?” At his nod, Hannah threw her arms around his neck. “I love you, Daddy.” She leaned back and looked in his face. “Did you see it? Allie said you would.”

  “See what?”

  “The love in the pictures.”

  “I saw it.”

  That evening, as he packed, Hannah thumbed through the photographer’s proofs. “I can’t see the love, Daddy.”

  Zane pointed to Allie’s face. “There. See how much she loves you.”

  “That’s my love,” Hannah said scornfully. “I can’t see yours. You know. ’Cuz Allie and I love you.”

  Zane’s heart skipped a beat. “What makes you think Allie loves me? Did she say she loves me?”

  “Daddy,” Hannah said in a very adult tone of voice, “of course Allie loves you. Davy said so.”

  Allie couldn’t imagine who would be ringing her condo doorbell at six-thirty in the morning. Dragging herself out of bed, she shrugged into her bathrobe. Moonie stood in front of the door trying to wag off his tail. Amber had pushed aside the front curtains and meowed loudly. Allie stretched. It must be Worth. Yawning, she opened the door.

  “Good morning, Allie. Hope I didn’t get you out of bed.”

  “Hi, Allie.”

  She stared at the father and daughter standing on her doorstep. Two faces grinned back. Allie blinked her eyes. She must be dreaming.

  Zane pushed her to one side and set a small suitcase on the floor. Going down on one knee, he gave Hannah a swift hug. “Okay, have fun.” Standing, he drew Allie into his arms and hugged her briefly. “You, too. See you in several days or so.”

  “What is going on? Zane?” she yelled after him as he headed for the door.

  “The paperwork’s in her suitcase.” He edged away as he talked. “Permission slips, power of attorney, should be everything you need. We’ll switch the ranch title over to both our names when I return. We can talk about adoption then.”

  Allie grabbed his arm. “Don’t you dare walk out of here. Where are you going? What are you talking about?”

  “I have to run, honey. I’m delivering some horses down in Texas. My cell phone number is with the rest of the stuff if you need it. Wally’s going with me. The hands know what to do, but if anything comes up, you’re in charge out at the ranch.” He shook off her arm.

  “Bye, Daddy.” Hannah raised her face. “Kiss!”

  Zane obliged her with a loud smacking kiss. Then he smiled at Allie. She didn’t mean to kiss him, but somehow she was in his arms, her mouth pressed to his. He stepped back. “Gotta go. I’ll miss my two best girls, but I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He turned steady eyes on Allie. “You can count on that.”

  Allie felt like a tornado had blown through her condo. “You’re going off and leaving Hannah? With me?”

  “Sure. Ruth’s going to Texas with us. Her cousin lives down there.” He turned to Hannah. “Don’t forget what I told you.” And then he was running down the sidewalk.

  By the time Allie had gathered her scattered wits, the pickup and large horse trailer had disappeared around the corner at the end of the block. Allie slowly shut her door and gazed down at Hannah. “Well,” she said, totally disoriented.

  Hannah beamed at her.

  “Have you had breakfast?”

  Hannah nodded vigorously.

  “I suppose your father told you to be good.”

  The little girl shook her head and giggled.

  “What did he tell you?”

  “He said you’re my new mama. I got to call you Mama.” Her joyful grin lit up the entire room.

  Allie pressed a hand over her mouth. The action did nothing to stop her flowing tears.

  He had sweaty palms. A person would think he was a damned teenager. Allie had kissed him goodbye. He clung to that fact. Nothing else gave him hope. She hadn’t contacted him. He’d made all the phone calls, calling often enough to talk to her and Hannah. Not so often as to make Allie think he was checking up on her.

  The telephone calls told him nothing. They’d discussed the weather. Hannah had blue toenails and her own bubble bath. Raspberry bubblegum scent or something. Zane thought little girls should smell like little girls, but Hannah was thrilled.

  Every time he phoned, he intended to tell Allie he loved her before he hung up. Each time he lost his nerve. Allie hadn’t exactly gushed with love, either.

  Leaving Ruth and Wally in Texas, he’d made good time back. Two days ago he’d called Allie and said he’d be home early tomorrow, but the closer Zane got to Colorado, the harder his foot pressed on the gas pedal. Driving late last night, he’d been on the road this morning long before the sun rose.

  Zane didn’t know if Hannah had told Allie he’d told his daughter Allie was her new mother. He’d been afraid to ask. Neither Hannah nor Allie brought it up.

  His phone calls usually found Allie and Hannah at the ranch. As he drove through the gate, Zane hadn’t made up his mind about the significance of Allie staying at the ranch. Maybe she thought Hannah would be happier in her own bed. Maybe it meant nothing more than Allie taking seriously her responsibilities as far as running the ranch in his absence. Caring for Hannah and running the ranch could be duties she felt had been forced upon her, but she was carrying them out for lack of anyone else to act as caretaker.

  The phone calls disturbed him. Hannah had giggled a lot, but said little about what they were doing. Allie had been, not exactly distant, but noncommittal.

  Allie’s car sat in front of the house. Zane parked the truck and trailer by the barn. He’d unhitch later. Taking the porch steps in a single bound, he opened the front door.

  “Daddy, no!” Hannah stopped three-quarters of the way down the staircase and gave him a look of utter dismay. “Go ’way!”

  It wasn’t the reception he expected.

  Hannah spun around and charged up the stairs. “Allie-mama! Allie-mama! Daddy’s home! He can’t come home now!”

  Moonie looked at Zane then trotted up the stairs in Hannah’s wake.

  Music blared from upstairs. Allie’s voice came over the din. “I can’t hear you, honey. What did you say?”

  “Daddy’s home!”

  “Turn down the music. Now, what did you say?”

  “She said her father’s home.”

  The jeans-clad bottom he’d been admiring whipped around. The look of dismay on Allie’s face mimicked Hannah’s. “What are you doing here? You aren’t supposed to be home until tomorrow.”

  “You ruined it, Daddy. You ruined our surprise.”

  Two outraged faces glared at him. He’d thought at least Hannah would be glad to see him. Unable to face their scowling faces, he looked around the room, which had been his parents’ bedroom, then Kim’s.

  Every piece of furniture had been removed. An old-fashioned floral wallpaper replaced the psychedelic wallpaper. Polished wooden floors gleamed in the sunlight coming through the uncurtained windows. Zane looked up.

  Mirrored tiles reflected his surprised face. And reflected the two females in his life. Showing him what he’d missed in his disappointment at their reception of his early arrival. Both wore ragged, paint-stained clothes. More white paint covered Hannah’s arms than the baseboards he’d obviously interrupted Allie painting. Judging by the varicolored paint splotches in Allie’s hair, she’d painted more than baseboards. A wide streak of white paint ran down her face.

  Bubbles of laughter and love rose in him like beady champagne. “I love you two,” he said.

  Hannah smiled at him in the mirror. “I love you, Daddy.” Her smile vanished as she stuck her little fists on nonexistent hips. “How come you spoiled our surprise? We was gonna get beautiful for you. Allie-mama said.”
r />   “You are beautiful.” His gaze went to Allie’s in the mirror. “Both of you. I love you so much.”

  Allie grimaced. “It must be love if you think I look beautiful.” She tugged at her messy, paint-splattered hair. “I look like something out of a horror movie.”

  “You look beautiful. You look like my wife. You look like my daughter’s mother.” He laughed, because if he didn’t, he’d cry. “Her Allie-mama.”

  Allie rapidly blinked her eyes in a losing effort to hold back the tears he saw glittering in her eyes. “You look like a man who’s been long days on the road and could use a meal, a shower, and a hug and kiss from his wife and daughter,” she said. “Not necessarily in that order.”

  “There you are.” Allie walked into the bedroom saying, “I think I’m going to have to cut the paint out of my hair.” She stopped short. “What is this?”

  “Hannah’s old mattress.” Zane threw two pillows on the mattress. “Since she’s taken over my room, we have to sleep somewhere.”

  He didn’t sound critical, but Allie rushed to explain. “Hannah needed a bigger room. I’ve been sleeping in her old bed. We don’t have to sleep in here on the floor.”

  “The way you piled all the furniture from in here into that room, I could barely breathe in there.”

  “That’s your fault for coming home too early.” He looked so sexy with bare feet and no shirt, she hardly knew what she was saying. “Worth and Thomas are coming tomorrow to bring down your parents’ furniture from the attic. The Taylors want the rug and stuff that was in here. I told them you’d trailer it over.”

  “They want it, they can come get it,” Zane said flatly.

  Allie didn’t bother to point out the obvious. Regardless of her and Zane’s opinions of the Taylors and their past willingness to use Hannah for their own financial gain, they were, and always would be, Hannah’s grandparents. Allie had used Kim’s bedroom furnishings as an olive branch, one which the Taylors had chosen to accept. The fact that neither Sean Doyle nor custody of Hannah had been mentioned made Allie hopeful the Taylors had pragmatically accepted Zane would be keeping Hannah, and if they wanted any relationship with her, they’d have to deal with Zane. Allie was realistic enough to assume the Taylors hoped, by being friendly, they might wheedle a dollar here and there out of Zane. Accordingly, she said, “We’ll see.”

  Zane made a derisive sound. “Meaning you’re a newlywed and letting me think I’m running the show.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked indignantly.

  “Ask Greeley.” He walked around the mattress and rested his hands on her shoulders, gazing steadily down into her face. “Allie, coming home from Texas, I was scared silly I’d messed up so badly you’d never let me in your life again. I need you, not for Hannah’s sake, for mine. Living these past five years without you was like going through life with part of me missing. I can’t do that again. I promise you, honey, I’ll never let you down again. I love you, Alberta Peters, more than I’ll ever be able to tell you.”

  “I love you.” Allie wrapped her arms around his bare middle, warmth and contentment stealing over her. “We came so close to losing our love. This time we know how special love is, and we’ll work harder to keep ours alive and growing.”

  Zane rested his forehead on her head. “One other thing... After Kim and I married, well, I couldn’t make myself sleep with her in this room. I’d expected to share it with you. Kim and I...well, we used the guest room.” He paused. “After a few weeks, I moved back to my room and she moved in here. She... We, uh, lived separate lives after that.”

  Zane’s faltering explanation peeled back the last blinders Allie wore about Zane’s first marriage. In her mind she saw Kim and Zane living in the same house, strangers, bound together only by their child and their suffering. For the first time Allie truly comprehended what kind of hellish existence he and Kim had endured. Compassion for Kim erased the last of her anger. “That’s past,” Allie said firmly. “Kim gave you a wondrous gift, your daughter. We can both be thankful for that.”

  “I don’t deserve you,” Zane said in a thick voice.

  Allie tightened her grasp. “Too bad. You’re stuck with me. Now, are you going to talk all night, or are we going to bed?” She felt Zane’s startled movement, then he slid his hands over her shoulders, his fingers performing an erotic dance, which sent desire shimmering over her skin.

  “Anxious to try out that mirrored ceiling, are you?” he teased in a low, seductive voice.

  Embarrassment heated her face. “It’s going to take a jackhammer to get those things off. It would have made more sense to wait until a new ceiling had been installed before I wallpapered and painted.”

  “I didn’t marry you for your good sense,” Zane murmured provocatively against her neck, slipping off her robe.

  “I know.” Allie closed her eyes, savoring the delicious sensations Zane aroused. “You wanted to sleep with me.”

  “No.” He slid his thumbs under the straps of her new nightgown. “I needed someone to paint Hannah’s toenails.”

  “Liar.” Allie ran her palms up his arms. “You wanted me back because the sex is very good.”

  “Does that mean I’ve changed good into very good?”

  “You haven’t changed anything.” Allie curved her arms around his neck. “It’s always been very good.” She smiled up at him and a glint overhead caught her eye. “Turn off the light and let’s go to bed.”

  “If we turn out the light, we can’t see the mirrors.”

  Allie kissed his collarbone. “Exactly.”

  “Losing your nerve?” He laughed softly at her nod. “Wear this and you’ll be adequately dressed.” He reached into his pocket, then held out his hand.

  The wedding ring gleamed in the light. Allie slipped it on her fourth finger. “This is all I need, isn’t it?” Using her body, she pressed him backward.

  They tumbled on the mattress together, laughing and loving.

  “Allie.”

  The insistent calling of her name wakened Allie. She rolled over. Zane wasn’t in bed. “Zane?”

  “Over here.” He stood at the uncurtained window. “I want to show you something.”

  Finding her robe on the floor, Allie shrugged into it and joined him at the window. “What are you doing?”

  “I got up to get a blanket. You never let me finish making up the bed.” He pulled her close to his side, his arm wrapped snugly around her. “Watch.”

  She loved the feel of his hand on her hip. Closing her eyes, she inhaled the scent of his soap.

  His lips touched her hair. “You’re supposed to be watching.”

  Turning toward him, she rose on her toes and pressed a kiss into the dent in the middle of his chin. “There’s nothing to see,” she murmured against his skin.

  “Behave yourself and do as you’re told.” Zane firmly turned her toward the open window and pulled her back against his hard body. “I’m trying to show you something.”

  She didn’t see a thing. “The ranch light’s burned out.”

  “That’s how I happened to see it.”

  Mounds of dark clouds scudded across the sky, uncovering, now covering an occasional star. Allie picked out the distant silhouette of the Elk Mountains. A small breeze brought the smell of rain and jangled the leaves on the large cottonwood tree. The air hinted at coming winter. Zane must have felt her tiny shiver because he enfolded her in his warm arms. His loving arms.

  “Here it comes,” he said quietly.

  Overhead a large golden orb slid from behind a wall of clouds and bathed the ranch yard in light. The moon’s bright glow spotlighted Greeley’s sculpture, throwing immense shadows of the three metal horses on the ground. Shadows from the swaying cottonwood limbs superimposed themselves on the horse shadows, giving movement and life to the larger shadows. Three phantom horses pranced in the yard.

  “Hannah’s family,” Allie said in delight. “You and me and Hannah.”

  Zane
’s arms tightened. “Look. There to the right.”

  A small bush threw a perfect silhouette of a miniature horse. No, not a miniature horse. A baby horse, a foal. The shadow blended with the other images.

  “A family of four,” Zane said.

  Allie could only nod.

  They watched the four shadows cavort in the moonlight until the moon went back into hiding, and the shadows nerged with the night.

  “Well.” Zane cleared his throat. “What do you think, Mrs. Peters?”

  “I think we’d better start thinking about giving Greeley new reason to fire up her welding tools.”

  Zane could have told Allie he’d been thinking about her having his baby from the instant he’d seen her at Cheyenne’s wedding. He kept his mouth shut. He’d been a fool, but he wasn’t that big a fool. What was it Greeley said? Something about newlyweds letting their spouses think they’re running the show. He ran his hands over Allie’s breasts and down her stomach until he heard her catch her breath. “Whatever you say, honey.”

  Allie laughed, not the least bit taken in by his docile remark. Zane laughed with her. They both knew they were partners. In love and in life.

  EPILOGUE

  THE low call of a homeward-bound owl wakened Allie from a light sleep. Outside, false dawn touched the sky with gray Zane shifted his body so his bottom touched her hip, the his breathing returned to the slow rhythm of deep slumber Basking in his warmth, Allie contentedly placed her hand on her abdomen. If the mirrored tiles hadn’t been remove from the ceiling, they’d undoubtedly reflect a silly smile on her face.

  Married the better part of nine months, she could write testimonial to the virtues of matrimony. Hannah was th light of her father’s eyes and a joy to Allie. Several women had been hired to help at the tour agency giving her an Cheyenne more time to spend with their families.

  Family. Allie put that thought aside to savor later.

  First she had to finish listing the virtues of matrimony The ranch was green and fecund with precious new colt frisking around the pastures. Amber tolerated Hannah’s ne white kitten, while Mooney adored the tiny creature, name Ice Cream by Hannah.