Love Like Crazy

by Crystal B. Bright

  “Avery, what do you want from me? Tell me.” When she didn’t answer, he looked at her apartment door. “Can we go inside and talk, please?”

  “I’m just getting off work.” She looked down at herself and tugged on her stained coveralls. “I’m not really presentable.”

  “I think you look, um…” Laz had to pick his words carefully. If he complimented her too much, she might think he wanted another round with her…even though he did. “For talking about business, you look fine.”

  “Oh. Right. Business.” She nodded and kept her gaze away from him. “I’m also really tired. I don’t think I should be talking about career moves and contracts right now. I need to be in the right mind. I need to decide whether or not any of this is still worth it.”

  Laz understood her stance, and he didn’t need to push her away. Not again. He didn’t like this feeling between the two of them.

  “I’ll call you when I wake up from my nap.” Avery started backing up into her home.

  Laz took that opportunity to move forward. “Or I can be here when you wake up.” Like he had done the night they had been together, he put his hands on the doorframe over her head. “I only have the best intentions for you. I only want the best for you. May I come in?”

  He watched the questions covering her face. She glanced up the stairs to her main apartment.

  Avery shook her head. “No. I can’t do this again. I keep opening myself up and getting shut down. I can only take so much.”

  Laz took a deep breath and took a step back. He didn’t know how to play this situation. In the past, if he wanted something, he would do what his father would have done and cracked some jokes and made some compliments. Doing that now got him nowhere.

  Before Avery could close the door on him, Laz moved forward and put himself in between the door and the frame.

  “What are you doing?” She put her hand to his chest. “I told you to go.”

  Laz kept her hand against his body. “I can’t. I need you.” If he had any chance of swaying her, Laz would have to be open and honest. “Before I came out here, I lost my job.”

  He watched Avery’s face go blank.

  “I quit. I walked away because of a disagreement. I saw myself doing more. I’m spending my own money to realize my dream.” He pointed to her. “You are a big part of that. You are my last hope to get back into the business.” He glanced back at the rental car he got at the airport. “If you won’t let me inside, I’ll sleep in my car in front of your apartment. Bottom line, I’m not leaving Virginia without you.” He put his hands in prayer form. “I promise you, if you come to New York with me, you will not leave without being signed to a major label.”

  Avery glared at him for a moment before she spoke. “Are you telling me the truth? You have no job?”

  Laz shook his head. “I quit working for Universe.”

  Her eyes widened. “You worked at Universe? No wonder you didn’t want me signing with them.”

  “You can do much better than them. I know that. I want to give you top dollar because you’re worth it.” He moved in closer to her. “I called you every day and you ignored them and never called me back.”

  “Because I thought you had used me. I didn’t want to hear you saying that you didn’t want to see me again.” Her shoulders slumped down.

  “I told you I would be back. I told you I would call. You should have believed that.”

  “I believed a lot of things.” She leaned against the doorframe. “My foolish self.”

  Laz tapped his finger against his watch, still refusing to acknowledge the wedge he had created between the two of them from his actions. “We are wasting time. I’m sure there’s a lot we can talk about, but right now, I need to get you to New York so that you can start your career.” When she didn’t respond, he cleared his throat and lowered his voice. “I never used you. I don’t have a secret life back home. No wife. No kids. I made a mistake by leaving so soon. Ordinarily, I would have never done that. While you were in the shower, I had gotten a call from a major label. I don’t want to make another mistake by seeing you walk away from this opportunity. May I come inside, please?”

  “Why can’t I say no to you?” Avery stared at him.

  Laz moved in closer to her. “Believe me. You are equally as powerful.” He leaned down and got beside her ear. “Let me inside.”

  Without a word or argument, Avery stepped aside to allow him to come into her place. Laz sighed as he closed and locked the door behind him, and then followed her up the steps to her main apartment.

  Laz had planned on only discussing Section Eight news with her. Then he watched her unzipping her coveralls, and his mind went to a fantasy of seeing her naked underneath. Instead, she revealed she wore a T-shirt and jeans. Seeing that still didn’t stop his raging heart.

  “I know you’re tired and want to get some sleep after working all night.” Laz made sure to keep a safe buffer of space between the two of them. “I did meet with a record label on your behalf. I do believe in you.”

  “Then why did you leave out of here the other morning like—” Avery stopped herself from revealing too much, but still avoided looking at him. Then she reconnected her gaze to him to hear his answer.

  “The music biz happens fast.” He snapped his fingers around her. “When you get the call, you have to move.” He shook his head. The more dismissive he sounded, the more he reminded himself of his father. Laz definitely didn’t like that feeling. If he wanted this woman to trust him, he had to get her to like him, because right now, he didn’t even like himself. “Look. I—” Laz stopped himself. This had nothing to do with him. He needed to concentrate on the woman before him. “Who was it?”

  Avery’s head rose and she connected her gaze to his. “What?”

  “Tell me about the last guy before me who left you.”

  She moved her bottom lip but nothing came out of her mouth.

  Laz scanned her living room area until he found what he sought. “May I?” He pointed to a colorful spiral notebook on her couch.

  Avery darted by him and snatched it up. “No. You can’t look at these.” She glared at him. “Not again.”

  “I don’t want to look through the whole thing. I want you to show me you. Show me one of the songs that best describes how you’re feeling.”

  Avery clutched her notebook to her chest, and Laz completely understood her fear. He strolled over to a chair, figuring it would be less threatening than if he sat on the couch with all its available room. “I have three sisters. One older, and the others are younger, of course. My mom thought it was so cute to get us up in front of her friends and our family during parties for us to sing and dance around. My mom is a frustrated Broadway wannabe. She has always wanted to sing on a stage in front of huge audiences, but never did.” Laz snickered. “Despite hating singing in front of a crowd, my mom did give me the love of music.” He took a deep breath. “I feel like it frees my soul. I connect to it like nothing else.” He stared at Avery and found her looking back at him. “There is one other instance where I connected to something so strongly.”

  Avery’s face transformed into a light blush color. Did it change out of embarrassment or excitement? Either way, Laz found her enticing.

  “I know that the words you put on those pages mean a lot to you. They’re your babies. I think it would give me a better idea about you and how you feel if you share some of that with me.” He sat up taller. “Please.”

  Avery took a step closer to him. “What makes you think I would write a song about something like that?”

  “Because I think you’re a songwriter who mines inspiration from her life experiences. You’re not looking to write a booty shaker. You have heart. You have a soul.”

  “What if I’m just like your mother, just another frustrated artist who won’t go anywhere?”

  “And what if
you’re not?” Laz scooted to the edge of the chair. “Besides, you have something my mother didn’t have.”

  She snickered. “What? Are you going to say you?”

  He nodded. “In a manner of speaking, yes. I’m here to support your dreams. My mother didn’t have that.”

  Avery went over to the couch across from him and sat down slowly. She took a deep breath and flipped through her well-worn pages. Toward the beginning of the notebook, she flipped the pages back and ran her hand over the paper before standing up.

  She crossed the room to get to him. “Just read this one and that’s it.” She handed him the notebook. “I’m going to take a shower and change.”

  Laz didn’t look down at the lyrics until he heard Avery in the bathroom with the door closed and the shower water running. Then he held the book up and read every word.

  As he read each lyric of a song called “Sorry, Babe,” he gritted his teeth. Avery detailed in a lyrical manner a woman who gave everything to a man only to have him be dismissive to her and giving her the trite, “sorry, babe” line when he moved on to the next conquest.

  No wonder she had been upset when he left. Maybe she had written the song about him.

  Shit.

  He really wanted to flip to the back half of the notebook to see if she had written a new song. He did promise her he would only read the one poem and nothing else.

  Laz’s thumb brushed over the pages, causing a flipping sound with each pass. He had already disappointed her once. He wouldn’t be doing it again. In the meantime, he reread the words she had written over and over again until he had them practically memorized.

  He could almost hear the melody in his head. If only he had a piano. Hell, he could even strum out the tune on a guitar if Avery had one. He didn’t see one in the living room. He didn’t remember seeing one in her bedroom, but at the time, his full concentration had remained on her, her body, and her needs. Laz would have to remember that in negotiating her contract.

  After a half hour and a shower later, Avery returned to the living room. Now wearing loose cotton shorts and a pink T-shirt, she looked ready for a softball game rather than an intense sleeping session.

  She took the notebook from his hands and retreated to her spot on the couch. “Well? What did you think?”

  Laz regarded her for a moment before speaking. “You’re a gifted writer. But you’re missing something with these lyrics.” He rested his hands on his knees. “I also hope that any songs you’ve written within the last week were kinder.” He rubbed his thighs. “Perhaps, instead, you write songs that are happier. Listeners would respond to that more. Not every singer can be Adele.”

  “Not every singer has been through what I have, either.” She shrugged.

  “No. But I know the industry. I know what works.” He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. “There are a lot of things I’ve done in my life, both good and bad. When it comes to business, I’m a straight shooter. I have never crossed the line with a client like I did with you.” He should have apologized for breaching her trust. He should have told her that she broke down a wall inside of him, one that kept him from being authentic. “But now I’m focused. I’m here for you and your career.”

  “Thank you for telling me.” She stood.

  “Are you going to ask me to leave now?” He started to stand until she put her hand on his shoulder.

  “No. I was going to ask if you would feel awkward staying here while I slept.”

  Laz smiled and shook his head. “No. I can wait.”

  “Okay. I would tell you that there’s food in the fridge. There isn’t.” She glanced at her TV. “I have Netflix right now until it gets shut off.”

  “I can keep myself entertained.”

  When he said that, she licked her lips. “This might help you.” She handed him her notebook.

  Laz hesitated before accepting it. “It’s okay?”

  “Cover to cover if you want.” She backed up. “It will show you the real me more than I could ever tell you. If you want to know me and know what I’m all about, what’s in here will show you.” She exhaled. “See you in a few hours.”

  Avery disappeared into her bedroom, closed the door, and Laz heard her engaging the lock. She let him in, but only so much. He would have to prove himself. Not a problem. He could work hard for this fight.

  Laz opened the notebook and, at first, quickly read each and every song Avery wrote. He devoured the words like a kid eating a bag of candy. Then he went back and read each one slowly, absorbing each word and turn of phrase.

  Avery showed herself to be a gifted lyrist. What impressed Laz the most had to be how much of her heart and soul she put into each song, whether she talked about wanting to spend the day at the beach, or how much she wanted a fulfilling relationship, she showed herself fully.

  The last piece got to him, the one called “Shame.” He knew it had to do with him and how he had treated her after they had had sex. He read it over and over again. Each time, it felt like a dagger pierced his heart, but he deserved the pain.

  After the last reading, Laz sprang from the couch, ready to go to Avery and hold her. He couldn’t. She shut him out in every way, which might have been a good thing. He didn’t need to get that close to her again. He had a job to do, not a woman to fall for.

  * * * *

  Avery stared up at the twirling blades of her ceiling fan. She should have been sleeping. She told Laz she would be doing just that when she sequestered herself in her bedroom. Part of her anxiety had less to do with the fact that Laz had indeed come back for her like he had promised, or the idea that he may have gotten her a recording deal. She allowed someone to read her private thoughts that she created into songs.

  At some point during their conversation earlier, she didn’t feel like Laz had heard her. Did he really understand her pain?

  No longer content to remain in her bedroom, and curious to see Laz, Avery got out of bed and unlocked her door. She took a breath before opening it. She peeked into the living room and found Laz spread out on the couch asleep with her notebook resting on his chest. He had his hand on top of it like he protected it.

  She smiled at the sight. He must have understood how much that book meant to her. Before waking him, Avery decided to change her clothes. She closed the door behind herself, but this time she didn’t feel the need to lock herself away from Laz.

  After stripping out of her pajamas, she opened her closet for an outfit. Before selecting a garment, she heard a knock on the door.

  “Come in.”

  Laz had already seen her naked. No need to have any kind of modesty now.

  The door creaked open a hair, but Laz didn’t come into the room. That didn’t stop her from seeing a bit of him through the crack.

  When his gaze connected with hers, he, at first dropped it to the floor, almost in a shy way. Then he slowly brought his head up and reconnected with her. She found it impressive that he didn’t look like he scanned her body. His talk of being serious about work and representing her had all been true. That should have made her happy, yet her heartbeat slowed down tremendously.

  With his hair ruffled, he looked exhausted but hopeful. “Have you packed? I really do have a contract in line for you.”

  She pulled out a maxi dress. “No.” She almost completed her statement with a “Not yet” but she didn’t know if she wanted to make that next step. Everything had happened way too fast. Avery needed to pump the brakes on some aspect of her life.

  “Depending on what happens, I won’t keep you up there for very long. Maybe three or four days.” He cleared his throat. “You can stay with me at my apartment. It’s not that big.”

  She laughed.

  Laz felt the need to clarify. “The apartment.”

  Avery continued laughing.

  Laz leaned back to get some eye contact. �
�What’s funny?”

  “I’m changing in front of you, but I’m scared of going to New York.” Avery didn’t mean to, but her body shook when she answered.

  With his knuckle, he eased the door open a bit more. “The same fear you had when you sang the second time at Honey’s?”

  She nodded.

  “But you got through that performance. You had a very positive reaction.” He cocked a smile at the side of his mouth. “I’m not including me.”

  “You should include yourself. I wouldn’t have gotten through the performance without you there.” Although she didn’t want to give power over to someone else, she also realized in this realm, she needed the support.

  “Then know you will be okay because I’ll be there every step of the way.” When she looked him in his eyes again, he gave her a thumbs-up sign. “I don’t offer this kind of representation to everyone. But I feel different with you.”

  “I know exactly what you mean.”

  Silence hung between them until he spoke again. “Did you make a decision? Are you coming back with me to New York?” He glanced down at his watch. “Time is essential. There’s lots of ground to cover before the meeting.”

  “I will if you do three things.” If Laz wanted to stick with business, she had to do the same.

  “Three? Wow. Okay, shoot.” He pushed the door open a bit more.

  “I need to see your contract.” Enough dancing around the topic. Avery needed to claim her place in her future.

  “Done. I have it with me.” Laz nodded.

  “And I want you to tell me what I should expect from the music business.” Avery wanted to know more about the man she just exposed her soul to through her music. She couldn’t do that if he kept himself away from her.

  “Of course. I’ll prepare you as much as I can.” He glanced at his watch again. “Actually, I wanted us to hit the road to D.C. tonight. I’ve gotten some sleep. We can stop somewhere to eat if you’re hungry. You weren’t kidding about what you had to eat in your kitchen.” He chuckled.

  “Told you.” She slipped the dress over her head and smoothed it out over her body. This time she watched Laz scanning her from head to toe with a few calculated pauses in between. “Not packed. I really wasn’t sure what was going on with you, with us.” She stared at him as she slipped on a pair of sandals.