With the First Goodbye (Thirty-Eight Book 5)

by Len Webster

  She missed him.

  Their text messages and emails weren’t enough.

  Since the morning she had woken up to him in her bed, she knew she was attached. And not seeing him in person or seeing that smile of his was torture.

  Josie: Day at uni is over. I just have to read through some cases, and I’ll be caught up with this week’s readings. I worked on my evidence paper last night. I’ll send it to you once I get home.

  Max: Are you working tonight?

  Josie: Taylor needed a few extra shifts, so I gave her mine since I have exams coming up.

  Max: So what you’re saying is that you’re free tonight?

  She inhaled sharply at his text message.

  Would she see him tonight?

  It would be a ‘friends’ kind of activity.

  Nothing her heart should get its hopes up for.

  Josie: I am.

  She bit her lip as she waited for Max’s reply. The bright sun warmed her skin as she sat on the steel bench and waited.

  Max: Good.

  Josie: Good?

  The beats in her chest galloped in anticipation.

  Max: Because it’s been fifteen days since I last saw you, Josephine. And to be honest and real with you, I miss you like crazy. Our texts and emails haven’t been enough, and I should have told you that.

  Her heart had all but stopped.

  Max: It’s been fifteen days too long, Josephine. Can I see you tonight?

  And that message kick started that organ in her chest.

  Smiling, she wrote her reply.

  Josie: I want to see you tonight, Max.

  Max: Because you need help with your evidence paper?

  Josie: No.

  She took a deep breath and decided to like him honestly.

  Josie: Because I’ve missed you, too.

  Josie: Because I’ve missed you, too.

  Max stared at the last message Josie had sent him. It was risky admitting that he had missed her in the time they had spent apart. Max had been busy helping his father with his case, and Josie was recovering from the flu. Since she was out sick for almost a week, she had a lot of uni work to catch up on as well as classwork and assignments.

  But the time away from Josie had really opened Max’s eyes.

  It was the realisation he needed.

  He missed her.

  Adored her.

  Wanted to be more than just her friend.

  And hopefully tonight, when he took her back to the ‘rain check’ dinner she had completely forgotten about, he would ask. There was no mention of the doctor or any guy she was seeing in their daily text messages and emails. But then again, she had a right to privacy, and if she was seeing someone, he’d respect it. But that didn’t mean Max would accept it.

  Tonight, he’d just tell her.

  He was sure Josie cared for him.

  When she was sick and told him that she liked him, he believed her. He didn’t believe it was the flu. He truly believed Josie was being honest with him. And after Max had read the messages he sent Andrea months ago, he realised that Josie had been the only woman who had ever put him first.

  Above her.

  She listened and supported him.

  But more importantly, she understood him.

  And when he looked into her eyes, he saw her compassion.

  He saw her adoration.

  He saw the little flecks of love blossoming.

  Max hoped she was falling in love with him.

  Because he was more than sure he was falling in love with her.

  As he sat at his desk and stared at the message she had sent almost two hours ago, he knew it was right.

  His feelings towards her were true and could be felt without guilt.

  Max: Do you think you’ll be free at around seven?

  Josie: I don’t think so.

  Josie: That was a joke. A lame one. But yeah, seven sounds good.

  Max: Okay, seven it is. It’ll give me enough time to go home and change.

  Josie: Can I ask where we’re going?

  Max: Can’t I make it a surprise?

  Josie: No, no, you can’t. I’d like to know what I’m dressing up for.

  He laughed at her sass.

  Max: Dinner. You and me.

  Josie: Like at my place?

  Max: No. Like at a restaurant.

  Josie: So we’re talking …

  Max: No pjs, Josephine.

  Josie: Is the place fancy?

  Max: Don’t worry about what to wear. I’ll see you at seven.

  At five to seven, he stood outside Josie’s apartment as nerves ravished his system. If he wasn’t driving, he would have taken a shot of whiskey to calm his anxious body. But he knew the importance of tonight.

  He couldn’t let Josie walk around and not know just how important she was to him. Max had made so many mistakes in his life, but he wasn’t going to let how much he adored her go unknown to her.

  Max would fight harder than he had to keep her in his life.

  He wouldn’t be ashamed as he was with Sarah.

  And he wouldn’t be a coward as he had been with Andrea.

  With Josie, he was a better man.

  A man she would be proud of.

  It was strange how far he had come in nine months.

  But being with Josie on that bridge had changed his life.

  Sucking in a deep breath of air through his nostrils, he knocked on her door and waited. He felt hot as if he were sweating through his clothes. Max glanced down to see he didn’t have sweat marks on the light grey long sleeve button shirt he wore. He glared at his tie and realised how stupid it was to be wearing one. It wasn’t a meeting between a lawyer and a client.

  It was a dinner with Josephine Faulkner.

  The sound of footsteps had him straightening his spine and holding his breath as he waited. After a few long seconds, the door opened and that breath he had been holding disappeared.

  His entire body lost its strength at the sight of her.

  “Wow,” he breathed.

  A slow smile spread across her pink-lacquered lips. “You were vague on what to wear,” she explained.

  Max took in the tight black dress that hit just above her knee. It was simple but seductive with the added string above the bust, adding shape to the dress and her cleavage. It fit her perfectly. She was flawless. And he loved seeing her long brunette hair resting on her back, exposing her shoulders. Josie normally never wore any makeup except for mascara. But tonight, she wore lipstick, blush, mascara, and eyeliner on her eyelids. It wasn’t too much, but that eyeliner made her eyes appear as if they were blue diamonds.

  Her.

  It’s her.

  His palms sweated as his heart sung her name again and again. “You look beautiful, Josephine.”

  Her eyelids fluttered as she glanced away, taken aback by his compliment. “Thank you.”

  “You ready to go?” he asked, unable to look away from those blue eyes of hers.

  “I’ll just grab my clutch,” she said. Then she disappeared, and he let out a relieved sigh.

  The pressure seemed as if it doubled.

  He had to tell her.

  He had to.

  Josie sat across from him laughing.

  “What?” he asked as he lowered his menu.

  She ceased her laughter and grinned at him. “Is this that rain check dinner that I promised after you came to my disaster dinner date rescue and bailed on your friends before I ended up fleeing minutes later?”

  Max smiled, closed his menu, and set it on the table. “It is,” he confirmed.

  Josie set her menu down. “I actually like this surprise.”

  “You do?”

  She nodded. “It made me laugh, and then I realised we’re replacing disappointment from a month ago with something …”

  “Better?” he offered.

  “Much better,” she agreed.

  Max sat up and gazed at that stunning smile of hers. During their twenty-
minute drive to Pa La Blue, they updated each other on their day and all the things they had forgotten to tell each other in the fifteen days since they last saw each other. He hated that he had almost missed her in his infatuation with other women.

  It took Noel and Clara’s wedding for him to realise he had been pursuing the wrong women all this time.

  It was Josie.

  Her eyes widened as her lips parted. “I forgot to ask you something.”

  “What’s up?” he asked as he picked up his glass of water and then took a long sip, quenching his thirst. The dryness in his throat was a constant pain. But Josie and that smile of hers caused it. That and her perfume that seemed to stain the breathable air in his Porsche.

  God, she drove him crazy.

  She affected him and his heart completely.

  Max set the glass down and nodded for her to continue.

  She picked up her phone, unlocked it, and then cleared her throat. “Stella wants to know if you’ve watched any other episodes of Gilmore Girls? And that I should ask you about spoilers or something? I don’t know. She just texted me this stuff in the car.”

  “You don’t mind if I tell her?”

  She shook her head. “Go for it.”

  Chuckling, he reached over for her phone and took it from her. He knew what her best friend meant by ‘spoilers.’ He was tempted to find out through one of those articles about the “23 things we loved and hated about the last episode of Gilmore Girls” that included gifs and quotes. Max pressed his lips together as he began to reply to Stella.

  Josie: Stella, it’s Max. Josie said I could reply to you personally. Don’t worry; she asked the questions out loud. To answer your first question, I’ve been busy with a case, so I haven’t watched any more episodes. But I did buy the series on my way home last week to experience it all. No spoilers. I want to experience Lorelai being happy. I want her to be happy, Stella.

  Satisfied with his reply, he pressed send. Just as he was about to hand the phone back to Josie, Stella sent an immediate reply.

  Stella: She will be, so long as you experience the entire series. No spoilers, Max. Work for that ending. Also, if you wanna score some roommate brownie points, could you please bring home dessert?

  Stella: I presume you’re going to be bringing Josie home since you picked her up. Please bring her home.

  He laughed at her reply and playfully shook his head.

  Josie: I’ll take her home. To ease your worries, I won’t be drinking. And I will bring you back some dessert. Also, Stella, for added comfort, I just wanted to let you know that I’m in it for the ending and more.

  He locked Josie’s phone and handed it back to her. She had her brow raised as she took it from him and then set it back on the table next to her blue clutch.

  “Let me guess; she wanted dessert?”

  “How’d you know?”

  Josie chuckled as she swept a loose curl behind her ear. “She’s my best friend. I know her too well. Did you know she freaked out when she met Clara? Like she almost fainted. Clara’s like her hero.”

  “Are you serious?” he asked, amused by the glimmer in her eye.

  She nodded. “I started working at the bakery before Clara did. It was doing well. Danny and I came up with a few cupcakes. Danny isn’t a dessert chef by trade, but he saw an opportunity and took it. Clara applied to be a waitress. And one day, she tasted this batch of vanilla cupcakes that our boss had just made and said it was missing something. So he told her that the vanilla batch was her canvas and she should create her masterpiece. That’s how the butterscotch surprise was made, which is Stella’s favourite cupcake. Each time I finished work, I’d bring Clara’s newest cupcake home and have her taste test them.”

  “Get out of here,” he said, bewildered. He knew Clara’s cupcakes were good, but he had no idea how she started baking.

  “I’m serious. When Stella met Clara, she almost cried. Her cupcakes actually comforted Stella when she and West were fighting. So Clara’s pretty special to a lot of people. It actually upsets me to know she’s not baking anymore and is at uni. Seems like such a waste of her talents since she already went to culinary school,” Josie said, the sadness clear in her voice.

  “You miss her,” he stated.

  “Yeah, I do. It’s not the same without her. But she has her happily ever after in Boston where I’m told things are better …” She paused, picked up her glass of water, and took a sip. “Oh, I know that this dinner is about us catching up and stuff, but I was wondering if I could get your advice?”

  Max saw the nervousness consume her face. To reassure her that she could ask him anything, he reached over and covered her hand with his. “Josephine, you could ask me a million questions, and it still wouldn’t be enough for me to feel like I’ve satisfied your curiosity. How can I help you?”

  Her eyelids fluttered as if she were taken aback by his answer. Josie let out a sigh. “I feel like I’m taking advantage of you. I promised I would never use you for my own selfish gains.”

  He flinched. “Josephine, no. Don’t think like that. I’m here for you. Whatever you need. Use me. Be selfish and use me.”

  She shook her head. “I can’t. Now that I think about it, I’ve used you way too much. I’ve abused our friendship. You have a career as a lawyer, so you shouldn’t be assisting me with my degree.”

  “I’m tutoring you.”

  “I feel like I’m wasting your time,” she whispered.

  Max stilled. She had no idea how wrong she was.

  Her time was the most beautiful gift she could ever give him.

  He was tempted to tell her that, but he held back.

  One confession at a time, Max.

  “What advice do you need, Josephine?”

  She let out a sigh; her hand remained encased by his. “Okay, you don’t have to answer, okay? It’s stupid now that I think about it.”

  He squeezed her hand. “I won’t think it’s stupid.”

  “All right. Do you know what I could do to impress some law firms into agreeing to interview me for placements? I mean, were you as scared as I am to go for interviews?”

  “I was scared,” he enlightened. “But not for the reasons you think.”

  “Oh, then what—”

  “Would you like to order?” their waitress asked, interrupting Josie.

  Josie pulled her hand away from Max’s and picked up her menu. Though she could shy away from his touch, she couldn’t hide the blush on her cheeks. “Ah, sure. Can I have the steak, please?”

  Max stared at the way Josie bit her lip, disinterested in the woman next to him.

  Just Josie.

  His focus on her.

  His time for her.

  Him at her beck and call.

  “And how would you like your steak?”

  Josie’s lips pursed. “Medium rare but more well done, if you know what I mean.”

  The waitress laughed. “I understand. And you, sir?”

  Max didn’t have to look at the menu to know what to order. He had been to Pa La Blue plenty of times and knew which dishes were best. But unlike all the other times he had dined at the restaurant, this wasn’t for work purposes.

  He’d pay for his and Josie’s dinner.

  This was for him and them.

  Not for his father to pick up his tab.

  Max realised just how special Josie was to him.

  She was his.

  Free of anyone else.

  She had never had any romantic feelings for any of his friends.

  Never kissed them.

  Touched them.

  Made love to them.

  Josephine Faulkner was his clean slate.

  She was the better thing in his life.

  The only better thing in his life.

  The only love he wanted that made him feel free and honest.

  And that knowledge caused his heart to swell in his chest.

  “Max?” Josie said, her voice sweet and full of concern.
<
br />   He blinked at her. “Yeah?”

  “You blanked out.”

  “I did?”

  She nodded. “You did. The waitress wants to know what you’d like to eat.”

  Max craned his neck and smiled apologetically at the waitress for wasting her time. He was sure she had other people to wait on, not just them. “The steak, too, please. Medium rare.”

  The waitress nodded. “Any other drinks?”

  “The water’s fine for now,” Max answered. “Josie?”

  She smiled. “I’m good with water, too. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ll be back with your steaks,” the young waitress said as she picked up their menus and left their table.

  “Are you okay?” Josie asked, getting his attention.

  He gazed over at her then reached out and clutched her fingers, brushing his thumb over her knuckles. “More than okay.”

  “What did you mean when you said that you were scared but for other reasons?”

  His lips had made a fine line before he answered. “When I was doing my law degree, I already had a placement lined up with my father’s law firm. I didn’t have an interview. My father told me that a Sheridan couldn’t work at another firm. I was scared because I wanted to work at another firm and prove I was as good as my father was. I had to explain that to lawyers who would interview me, and they all said the same thing, that I was what they needed. I walked out of every interview I had actually believing I could work for another firm. But no one called me back. I had to do a year of placement, and I had no other choice than Gordon Sheridan Lawyers.”

  “You put yourself out there, so you should be proud of yourself,” she encouraged.