by Amanda Renee
Carina had fallen asleep against his arm. He smiled down at her. He could get used to this. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t biologically his. She needed a father and for the first time in his life, he was 100 percent certain he wanted to be one.
Chapter Eight
Lucy parked next to Lane’s truck in front of her cottage. It was almost three in the afternoon and she was starving. She hadn’t known what to expect when she walked into the house, but she hadn’t imagined what she found.
Carina and Lane had fallen asleep on the couch, her daughter against his elbow, and a half-eaten plate of brown apples and peanut butter on his lap. It appeared as though neither one of them had gotten much sleep last night. She didn’t have the heart to interrupt their nap.
She set the plate in the kitchen and then ducked into the bathroom to strip out of her filthy clothes. She’d ridden horses most of her life, and yet she couldn’t remember having been this dirty. After a shower, she felt human again. As hungry as she was, she didn’t have the energy to eat. She eased her aching body onto the opposite end of the sofa, relishing its softness compared to the stiff, creaky saddle she’d suffered this afternoon. She’d been officially chafed in places she hadn’t known she could be chafed.
She closed her eyes, enjoying Lane’s rhythmic soft snores. Antonio had snored obnoxiously. She’d cursed that sound every day of their marriage. There was a mandatory two-year waiting period in Italy before a divorce. During their separation, they’d still resided together so they could coparent their daughter. She could even hear him snoring on the opposite side of the villa. When he had moved out after their divorce had been finalized, she’d found it impossible to fall asleep. She hadn’t known if she’d grown accustomed to the noise or if the reality of being alone frightened her.
In a way, today had been perfect. Between breakfast with his mom and coming home to Lane and Carina, Lucy was at peace. Nothing else mattered except this moment in time. Her daughter and her first and only true love...
* * *
LANE AWOKE TO a darkened room. His neck ached and when he attempted to move, he felt extra weight on his right side. Rubbing his eyes, he tried to shake off his sleep-induced fog. When he adjusted to the dark, he remembered where he was. He gently shifted Carina off him and noticed Lucy curled up on the opposite end of the couch.
So this is what it’s like. A neat little family unit, with everyone home together on the couch on a Saturday night. It had been a foreign concept to him before now. He hadn’t experienced anything remotely close to this with his own family. He’d never questioned his parents’ love for him or even each other, but actually feeling it had been nonexistent.
Lane debated waking Lucy, not wanting to break the spell. Lane glanced at Antonio’s photo. “I promise to always do right by them,” Lane said to the ceiling. “Lucy.” He gently shook her awake. “I guess we were all tired.”
She sat up straight on the couch, rubbing her shoulder muscles. “I think Rusty is trying to kill me.”
“He’s the best teacher you could ask for.” Lane envisioned sitting behind her on the couch, easing the day’s aches from her body. As tempted as he was, he didn’t think Carina would understand the situation. Hell, he didn’t even understand it.
“I’m not the greatest cook in the world, but I make an incredible chicken scampi. Carina doesn’t like shrimp. You’re welcome to stay for dinner.” She rose and made her way to the kitchen, turning on lights along the way. “Unless you have other plans, or a date or something.”
Lane joined her in the small kitchen. “I’d love to stay.” He liked her this way. A pale pink T-shirt, black cropped pants, barefoot and not a stitch of makeup on her delicate features. “I don’t have plans—date or otherwise.”
Lucy shrugged and removed the ingredients she needed from the refrigerator.
Lane kept his voice low so he wouldn’t wake Carina. “That is either the third or fourth time you’ve hinted about me seeing someone. Do I sense a little jealousy?”
“Hardly.” Lucy feigned indifference. “I didn’t want you to feel obligated to stay, that’s all.”
He had an unbelievable urge to tug her into his arms and reassure her with a kiss. Fearing Carina would wake up and walk in on them, he maintained a safe distance in hopes of quelling his libido. “Since we’re clearing the air—”
“You’re clearing the air. I’m stinking it up with onions and garlic.” She wrinkled her nose and smiled.
“If we were alone,” Lane whispered, “I’d brave another kiss.”
Lucy’s hands stilled over the cutting board. “I’d like that.”
“I’m not going to ask you to go out with me alone.” Lane leaned against the refrigerator, watching her facial expressions as he spoke. Her eyes fluttered closed and her breath stilled as she waited in anticipation, and he found it irresistible. “How would you feel about a trail ride tomorrow? All three of us. I’ll pack a picnic lunch and we can head down to the watering hole. Maybe even go for a swim if it’s warm enough.”
“I want to,” Lucy whispered.
“What’s stopping you?”
“I’m your boss. How would it look if someone saw us together?” she asked.
“On two hundred fifty thousand acres, I think we can find a place away from prying eyes. Enough people know about our past and probably already suspect the attraction is still there.” Lucy looked up at him. “It’s still there, isn’t it?” he asked.
She nodded and returned her attention to the cutting board. “I don’t think it ever left.”
“Then be with me. Spend time with me and let’s see where this goes.” Lucy visibly shivered. He watched the tiny goose bumps appear on her arms. “Cold?” If they’d been alone, he would have wrapped her up in his arms and held her through the night.
“Yes—no—I don’t know.” Lucy set down the knife. “Let’s see where tomorrow leads. We don’t even know how tonight is going to end. You may hate my chicken scampi and never want to see me again.”
“I love Mamma’s chicken scampi,” Carina said from the living room.
Lucy’s brows lifted. “I know you do, mia gattina.” Gesturing toward her daughter with her chin, she continued, “She’s my first priority. She’s my everything.”
“And rightfully so.” Lane adored the way Lucy doted on her daughter. He’d always been close to his mom and could talk to her about anything, but they’d never had what he’d consider an affectionate relationship. Kids needed affection. “Does that mean we’re on for tomorrow?”
“Carina,” Lucy called out. “Lane wants to take us for a trail ride tomorrow. Do you want to go?”
Carina ran into the kitchen. “Can I ride Jigsaw?”
“Of course.” Lane stooped to her height. “He’s yours to ride whenever you’d like, as long as your mom approves.”
“I can’t wait.” Carina danced into the living room.
“Great, she’s going to be up all night again.” A lone tear trickled down her cheek. She wiped it away with her sleeve. “You’re the one who’s made her happy lately. Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me.” Lane wanted desperately to kiss away her tears. “I’m not doing anything you wouldn’t do if the situation were reversed.”
With each word he spoke, Lane fell harder for the only woman who had the potential to devastate him. Two and a half weeks ago, he wouldn’t have taken the risk. Today he saw that risk as a chance. A chance to regain the life they’d planned together. This time, he was holding on tight.
* * *
LUCY HAD EXPECTED to meet Lane at the stables the following morning. When he rode up to her cottage on Frankie with Jigsaw and Kentucky in tow, he won over both her and Carina. She tied her daughter for most excited.
“I didn’t see any need for you to drive down to the stables.” Lane dismounted and tied his horse to the hitching post near the corner of the porch. Every residence on the Bridle Dance Ranch had one or more hitching posts. The Langtrys s
till believed in doing things the old-fashioned way.
“I know you said I didn’t have to bring anything, but I grabbed a bottle of wine, anyway.” Lucy’s mother had raised her never to show up empty-handed and she felt compelled to bring something—even on a trail ride. “Red okay with you?”
“Red’s perfect.”
Carina rode out in front of them so they could keep a close watch in case she had difficulties with Jigsaw. After a little awkwardness, Carina had a better feel for steering. Whenever Lane rode close to Lucy, he reached out for her, entwining his fingers with hers. The raw strength of his hand gently caressed hers until he temporarily broke their bond to ride alongside Carina.
Lucy didn’t mind trailing behind them. She loved the way his black corduroy shirt stretched across his broad shoulders. No matter the season, Lane had always chosen to wear light straw summer cowboy hats rather than the heavier felt ones the majority of men preferred in the winter months.
By lunchtime they had reached a small Airstream trailer along Cooter Creek. They dismounted and Lane led their horses to water.
“Whose trailer is this?” Lucy secretly hoped he’d say it was his. It was located in a very secluded and beautiful section of the ranch.
“Lexi and Shane Langtry’s.” Lexi was Bridle Dance’s equine veterinarian and Shane was one of the owners. “I asked them if we could stop here along the way. I know neither one of you is accustomed to—how should I put it—rustic bathroom facilities. The trailer has running water and electricity. Plus, I thought this would be a nice place to eat lunch.”
Lucy and Carina went inside to clean up. When they returned, Lane had an elaborate meal spread across the picnic table.
“I knew what you used to like, so I relied on memory and what I’ve learned about Carina. I hope there’s something here for everyone.” Lane handed them each a paper plate. “These are roast-pork-and-sauerkraut-relish sandwiches. Over here we have Cuban sandwiches with tomato jam. I believe these are grilled brie and pear and this one is a special spicy chicken courtesy of the Ragin’ Cajun.”
Lucy sat down at the table in awe. She didn’t even know where to begin. “You picked this all up in town?”
“Most of it’s homemade. When you live in a bunkhouse with a bunch of men, you’d be surprised how many are experimental gourmet chefs. We eat really well.”
Lucy couldn’t believe Lane had remembered what Carina ordered at dinner the other night and had taken the time to drive into town to pick it up. “That was very thoughtful.” Lucy motioned to Carina’s lunch.
“I brought her water, and why don’t we open the wine?” Lane removed his pocketknife from the leather case attached to his belt and flipped up the corkscrew. He laughed when Lucy handed him the bottle. “I’ve never seen wine like this before. ‘Wild at Heart.’” He read the vintage-style label aloud. “‘The minute I laid eyes on this red-blooded beauty, I knew I had to have her.’” Lane’s eyes met Lucy’s, and she envisioned her cheeks matching the color of the wine.
“I couldn’t resist when I saw it in the store.” Lucy smiled. “Call me a hopeless romantic.”
Lucy sensed Lane wanted to respond but couldn’t with Carina nearby. It was both a blessing and a curse. She’d never imagined her daughter chaperoning one of her dates. Lucy enjoyed this pace. It was slow and sweet...and perfect.
* * *
LANE DIDN’T THINK the smile would ever fade from his face. He’d even had a hard time shaving this morning because of it. He’d had one of the best weekends of his life and he was sorry to see it end.
He had a surprise planned for Carina that might get him in trouble with Lucy. Even though she’d told him not to buy Carina anything, he’d decided to pick her up an early birthday gift he knew she could use. Lucy had already told him she felt the horse was too extravagant. No matter how many times he attempted to reassure her he’d had his eye on Jigsaw for a while, she didn’t believe him. It was the truth.
As soon as five o’clock rolled around, he phoned Lucy and asked her and Carina to come to the tack room. When he heard them try the knob, he cracked the door and told Carina to cover her eyes. Once she was inside, he covered them for her and led her to the center of the room.
“Oh, you didn’t,” Lucy said. “Please tell me you didn’t.”
“I want to see.” Carina pried at his hands.
He offered an “I’m sorry” shrug. “It’s an early birthday gift.”
“Let me see.”
“Her birthday isn’t for another month,” Lucy argued.
“Hello?” Carina squirmed.
“Fine, but this is her birthday gift...for the next ten years.” If Lane was blessed enough to still have them in his life ten years from now, he could live with that. Maybe. Who was he kidding? He’d spoil the kid rotten.
“I’m waiting.” Carina sagged against him in surrender.
Lane removed his hands from her eyes. “It’s all yours.”
Carina shrieked decibels higher than he thought a human ear was capable of hearing. She ran over to the hand-tooled leather barrel-racing saddle with a pink zebra-print seat and climbed on top of it on the stand. “Is it really mine?”
“It sure is,” Lane said. “That’s a treeless saddle, specifically for barrel racing. Now you’ll have your own saddle to train on.”
“But you are still a long way from racing, Carina,” Lucy reiterated. “What do you say to Lane?”
“Thank you.” She climbed down and gave him a hug. “Thank you for making me one of the cool kids.”
Lucy gave him a questioning gaze. He shook his head slightly. He’d share the details from his talk with Carina a little later. He glanced at the clock on the wall. “I hate to do this, but I need to get to class.”
He wanted to give Lucy a hug goodbye but thought better of it. He hadn’t given Carina the saddle to earn any points with her mother. He wanted to pay it forward. Despite the loss of his own father, he’d had the love and support of two additional fathers: Rusty and Curly. They had chipped in and bought him his first saddle and had even given him his first horse. Without them and horses in his life, things could have turned out very differently for him. Carina deserved that same opportunity. And he’d be honored to be there for her whenever she needed him. Sometimes family ran deeper than blood. He was living proof.
* * *
“CAN I TAKE it home and put it in my bedroom?” Carina asked after Lane left.
“No. The saddle stays in the tack room.” Lane’s generous gift was just that. Extremely generous and a gift unlike any she could give her daughter. Was it wrong for her to be a bit jealous of him for always being the one to make Carina happy? She knew he meant well, and she appreciated it, but she always felt as if she was letting her daughter down.
It had been the same way when Antonio was alive. He’d spoiled Carina, while Lucy had disciplined her. It had never been the other way around. And it still wasn’t. Someone had to teach her daughter values and limits.
“Carina, I will let you continue to take lessons with Lane and possibly even at the rodeo school on one condition.”
“I already know.” Carina rolled her eyes. “I have to get good grades.”
She was more intuitive than Lucy had thought, which brought her back to something else Lane had said. Somebody on the ranch would eventually tell Carina she and Lane had dated when they were teens. Lucy toyed with finding the perfect time, but no time seemed right. Especially today, when Carina was so happy. She feared once Carina told people about the gift Lane had given her, it would open a wider door of opportunity for someone to divulge information they had no business telling her daughter.
Her heart rate increased at the thought. She’d had a happy week with her kid and she wanted to keep it that way.
“I need to talk to you about something and I’m not sure how you’ll react.” All joy evaporated from her daughter’s face. “It’s nothing bad. But it is something you might overhear and have questions about.”
Her daughter stood there looking up at her, blinking. Walls up once again.
“You know I came here every summer to stay with Nicolino and Ella.”
Blink.
“While I was here, I had a boyfriend.”
Blink. Blink.
Lucy pinched the bridge of her nose, dread creeping up her spine.
“Lane was my boyfriend for four years.”
Stare. Carina didn’t move a molecule. It was as if she were frozen in place.
Lucy sat down across from her on a saddle stand. She could wait it out. She could sit quietly and wonder what thoughts churned in her daughter’s head. Or maybe Carina’s defense mechanism was thinking of nothing and just staring. She could wait.
“Was this before you met Daddy?” Carina asked, her voice barely a whisper.
Lucy took a second to carefully formulate her answer. “I’d known your father my entire life, but we didn’t begin dating until after Lane and I were over.” Lucy debated how much of the story Carina needed to know and decided less was best.
“Why are you telling me this? If it was before Papà, I understand.”
“Because you are spending more time with him and someone might mention it to you.”
“Did you love him?”
Lucy hadn’t prepared for that question. “Yes. My love for Lane was different from my love for your father. Just like my love for you is different from my love for your father.”
“Okay.”
“We’re good?” Carina nodded, but Lucy didn’t feel good about any of it. She might have told her daughter the truth, but only half of it...and half-truths were the same as lies. “If you have questions, please come ask me.”
