Colt Harper: Esteemed Vampire Cat

by Tyrolin Puxty

  “A chaser, yeah.”

  Lexi blinks. “You knew?!”

  “Yeah, I found out at dinner.”

  “Then why didn’t you help? Like, straight away?”

  I shrug. “I don’t help other monsters as a general rule. Besides, Saffy needed me.”

  “Why? Because you’re suddenly invested in helping humans?”

  “It’s complicated.” I check Saffy. I doubt she’s going to wake up anytime soon. “Fine, let’s take this chaser down, but I’m coming right back. Cats, does Saffy have an umbrella?”

  “Nine!” Twiggy says, her voice high-pitched and childish. She’s a pretty cat, giving off the appearance of wearing eyeliner and mascara.

  “We haven’t got time for that! Let’s run!” Lexi grabs me by the wrist, and before I can protest, we’re bolting through the rain.

  “It’s all about perception.”

  – Brynn Light

  here’s a clashing noise coming from the basement. Lexi and I get to the door, but it’s locked.

  “Oh, crap!” Lexi digs her fingers into her face and drags them downward. “What do we do?”

  I kick the door, then ram my shoulder into it, but nothing. Reluctantly, I look at Lexi.

  She inhales. “If you think it’ll save Jax.” Backing up, she pumps her little arms and runs at the door, shouting a warrior’s cry. The door budges, but doesn’t give.

  “PLEASE STOP!” Jax shrieks from downstairs. Oh wow, he’s not in wolf form anymore. He’ll have no way to protect himself.

  Lexi backs up and charges again. This time, the door bursts open. “I did it! Colt, I did it!”

  “Celebrate later.” I push her downstairs, and she tumbles like a skier in an avalanche. I skip every second step and join her in the basement, which is dimly lit.

  There’s a silver cage in the corner that’s busted open, an old dryer and bent pipes in the corner. Brynn wears a silver necklace and a smug smile, circling Jax like a shark. One of his eyes is bruised and his wrists are bloodied from the cuffs that continue to burn into his flesh. Naked, he curls into a ball next to the wall, pleading for Brynn to stop.

  “I’m not a monster!” He sobs. “I never wanted to be! I’ve never hurt a human!”

  “Doesn’t matter what you want. You’re a monster. You’re a menace to society. That’s why I have to kill you.” Brynn speaks as if she were hosting a child’s birthday party. “It’s all about perception, isn’t it? You see yourself as good and kind, but I see you as a threat. Thing is, my perception is the only one that matters because I’m the only one who can see it.”

  “That means my perception matters the most, considering I’m the only one who can see it,” I say. Brynn turns to face me, nonplussed. “Leave him alone.”

  “Colt?” she says. “Is this a rescue mission? Since when do monsters care about one another?”

  “I don’t care about him!” I hiss, my stomach churning when Jax stares up at me with hurt eyes. It’s half-true; I don’t feel as bad for him in his human form. “I just want my community service to end well, and he’s the only handyman we have!”

  “Selfish creatures.” She sniffs and raises a silver blade over Jax, ready to strike.

  Before Lexi can even scream, my fangs drop and my talons protrude. I leap at Brynn and pin her against the wall, an excited smile brightening her sour face.

  “You can’t kill humans,” she says.

  “I can kill humans, I’m just not allowed.”

  She knees me in the groin, the pain bringing me to my knees. Twirling gracefully, she raises the blade again and swings, but I block it with my talons. To be honest, I’m terrified. I’ve never gone up against a chaser before, and they’re responsible for wiping out my species.

  Fighting through the nausea and sudden cold sweat, I tackle her to the ground and scratch at her face, leaving a gaping gash in her cheek.

  “Chasers heal quickly,” she says through controlled breaths. “Mangle me all you want!”

  “Oh, I will,” I say with a rush of adrenaline at the sight of blood. I bite into her neck, but don’t draw blood. I can’t bring myself to.

  I knock the blade out of her hands.

  “Colt! What’re you doing? Take her down!” Lexi punches her fist into her hand.

  “No,” I say, that awful wave of humanity rippling through my body.

  “Go on!” Brynn dares, an evil glint in her eye. “I’ll only keep coming after you. And Jax. And Lexi. And Saffy.”

  I go cold. “What?”

  “She’s not human. That’s evident. She has to be destroyed.”

  Sean’s inside, begging me not to hurt her. After all, Brynn, strangely enough, is the good guy. She’s like the police, saving humans from monsters. I’m the bad guy here. I don’t need to keep proving that.

  I release Brynn from my grip. “Go. Don’t step a foot inside this theater again.”

  Dusting herself off, she stands. “I can’t promise that. You can’t stop me from going anywhere. And I will see you again. Just you wait. Do you wear that dull expression on all of your smelly forms?”

  “GET OUT!” I yell. “Don’t make me regret sparing you.”

  “Bless! That’s so cute. Cheerio.” She barges Lexi out of the way and snickers her way upstairs.

  “You should’ve killed her,” Lexi whispers, staring at the bloodstain next to Jax.

  “And risk the valley? One stuff-up, and I’m a goner. When will you get that through your thick skull?” She puckers her eyes apologetically, but I don’t dwell on her grim expression. I rush to Jax, take off my vomit-stained shirt, and wrap it around him. “Are you all right, buddy?”

  Jax flinches, like a dog that’s been mistreated its whole life. He can’t look me in the eye. “You really don’t care about me?”

  “Jax, I couldn’t show Brynn any weaknesses. If I said I cared, she probably would’ve slit your throat. She’s more of a dog than you.”

  “Why didn’t you come for me sooner?” he croaks, as a stray tear trickles down his cheek. “You were in the forest with her. Why didn’t you stay with me?”

  “We didn’t know she was a chaser.” Lexi strokes Jax’s abs. “Besides, you’re scary as a werewolf. I’m not exactly a powerful creature, you know? I couldn’t protect you even if I knew she was a chaser.”

  “But Colt could’ve.” Jax pulls the shirt over his head, covering his stomach, much to Lexi’s dismay. “Colt, you’re one of the stronger species, one of the smartest. You could’ve stopped this…”

  I gaze at the blood seeping through his shirt. Brynn must’ve tortured him. Viciously. That’s not something a good person would do.

  “I’m sorry.” I choke. “It’s done now.”

  Jax shrugs, like he doesn’t accept my apology. “I… I need water.”

  “Yes! Yes! I’ll take you up to bed!” Lexi says. “I mean, your bed crushed mine, but it’s okay. You can still sleep there. Colt, will you lock the theater doors?”

  “I’ll do it on my way out. I have to check on Saffy.” Lexi and Jax blink at me like I’ve lost my mind. “Long story short, she’s a vampire cat, but doesn’t know it. She killed a Time Snatcher and I called St. Damian to see what he can do. It’s like she’s half-human, half-monster. Never heard of anything like that before.”

  “But we need you,” Lexi says softly, cuddling into Jax.

  “I won’t be long. We’ll work out a game plan when I return.” I head back outside where the rain has calmed down. The route near the jewelers confirms that Saffy’s kill is gone. The blood has been cleaned off the sidewalk and there’s no trace of evidence to show we were ever there.

  “Colt!”

  I jump three feet in the air (literally) and instinctively drop my fangs, then withdraw them as soon as I spot a ten-year-old girl, staring up at me with yellow eyes and a bunny in hand.

  “What’s the bunny for?” I ask.

  “Dessert.” She beams. “Word is you can’t sense monsters anymore. I’m Polly, a changel
ing.”

  “A changeling…” I wrack my brain. “Is that when you eat a child, take its appearance, and live off the mother for several years?”

  “Bingo.” She bats her eyes. “This form is my favorite so far. Anyway, that’s not important. Colt, stop hanging around Saffy.”

  “Why?”

  “She’s bad, Colt. Be wary of her. You really can’t sense it?”

  “Not since my form has been trying to take over me, no.”

  She grimaces. “Yikes. That doesn’t sound fun.”

  “It’s not. Tell me what’s wrong with Saffy.”

  “I’ve warned you. That’s the most helpful I’ve been in centuries. A vampire cat who doesn’t know she’s a vampire cat? Trust me, that’s the least of your concerns.” She strokes the bunny and turns away, humming pleasantly to herself. She stops, but doesn’t face me. “None of us want her around. Not now that we know what she truly is. If you get in our way, so be it.” Then she bounces off.

  She’s probably messing with me. Monsters tend to do that.

  But monsters also tend to tell the truth about these kind of things.

  “I’ve decided I need a holiday from myself.”

  – Colt Harper: Esteemed Vampire Cat

  rynn’s red hair practically glows in the rain. She stares into Saffy’s window, still as a statute.

  “Hey!” I cry.

  Brynn turns calmly, raising her hands. “Love, I’ll be perfectly honest. I may have strained my back during our scuffle, so let’s call for a timeout. It’s a bugger of a thing. The older I get, the longer it takes to heal. I planned on taking Saffy out, so I leaned in to check, and now look at me.” She motions to herself. “I’m bloody bent over like an L! Anyway, there’s nothing here for me. A monster got to her before I could. So I’m not going to fight you.”

  “What?” I jog up to the window. I can’t see Saffy from this angle. “Leave now, or I will kill you!”

  “Wish I could believe that,” she says lightly. “Go in and see for yourself.”

  “GO!”

  Brynn smugly steps back. “Fine. Saffy’s your problem now. Trust me, that’s not a good thing.”

  “I’ll never trust you,” I say through gritted teeth. She’s weaponless, maybe, so I don’t think she’ll try attack me. She knows I’d win anyway.

  Reluctantly, I head inside, instantly greeted by cats.

  “He’s home!”

  “Gather the catnip! It’s celebration time!”

  “Long live King Colt!”

  “Sir Colt! There’s an ugly troll on Saffy!”

  I rush to the sofa, disgusted to see the Bakhtak squatting on Saffy’s chest. I push him off and he lands on the floor with a thud, rolling like a ball.

  “Nice to see you too, Colt.” He zaps onto the sofa head, dangling his legs and wiping cat fur off his loin cloth. “To what do I owe such an unpleasant greeting?”

  “What were you doing to her?!”

  “Relax, relax, all right? St. Damian asked me to fiddle around in her brain to get some information. Came up with zilch!” He makes a circle with his grubby fingers. “I don’t get this one. She’s different, like there’s a wall blocking her thoughts. Couldn’t even give her a nightmare.”

  “Did a pretentious redhead come in here at all?”

  “That chaser outside peering in? Nah, chasers are cautious of Bakhtaks. They’ve never been able to take us down. It’s hilarious.”

  I drag a table chair next to the sofa, Twiggy jumping up on my lap the second I sit down. “When is St. Damian getting here?”

  The Bakhtak checks his imaginary watch, then grins that ugly grin of his. “He’s already here.”

  I cock my head to the side, then jolt when St. Damian puts a hand on my shoulder.

  Twiggy flees for safety under the couch, the other cats hissing territorially.

  “Sheesh! You trying to give my form a heart attack?”

  “I’d try harder than that,” St. Damian says, bone-dry despite the rain. Dressed in a black trench coat, he shoos the Bakhtak and sits on the end of the sofa, moving Saffy’s feet out of the way.

  “How did you get here so quickly?”

  “A lot of monsters owe me.” He checks Saffy’s pulse. “Teleportation is a nifty skill.”

  While St. Damian inspects Saffy, I can’t help but glare at the Bakhtak. “This is all your fault, you know. If you didn’t turn Jax prematurely with bad dreams, this never would’ve happened!”

  “Oh, that!” The Bakhtak clutches his stomach that wobbles with each bellow. “That’ll teach him to threaten me.”

  “You’ve put all of us in danger!”

  “Oh, boohoo!”

  “Will you two cut it out?” St. Damian says. “I’m parched.”

  The Bakhtak zaps to the kitchenette. “Care for a cup of tea?”

  “It’s a cuppa tea,” St. Damian corrects, patting Gribs who stares up at him. “And yes.”

  “St. Damian. Buddy, we need a prognosis.”

  “I don’t know what Saffy is. There’s no way of finding out at this stage. I spoke to the council and they have reason to believe she’s half-monster half-human.”

  My eyes flutter at the concept. “So that’s actually a thing?”

  “It is now.” He smiles at the Bakhtak when he receives his cuppa. His smile quickly fades when he takes a sip. “It’s a bit hot.”

  “Sorry, sir. Do you want another?”

  “No, no. Just take a seat next to Colt.” He blows on the tea and sips. “Have you ever mated with a human, Colt?”

  Oh jeez. That’s something a human should never ask a monster. “Yeah. A long, long time ago. Never kissed anyone though. That whole practice never made sense to me. The other thing? Yeah… it’s… easy enough, but the babies are always human, never monsters. We’ve been doing this since the dawn of time.”

  “Not my kind.” The Bakhtak scrunches his nose.

  “Because no human would touch you,” I say. “So Saffy doesn’t fit in anywhere?”

  “She doesn’t,” St. Damian says. “Chasers will want to kill her and monsters will want to kill her. It’s imperative she remains safe until the council work out a law to counter the potential threats.”

  “But she’s not safe with anyone,” I say. “Who will protect her?”

  He chugs down the remaining tea and frowns. “You, obviously.”

  I glance behind me, just in case he’s referring to someone else. “Me? How do you figure that? I’m a natural killer!”

  “Not lately. Your form… Sean, I believe, is really getting the better of you. At this point, you are to some degree, half-human half-monster. You two have a lot in common.”

  “How did you know Sean is talking to me?”

  “Everybody knows, Colt!” the Bakhtak says flamboyantly. “Your aurora practically screams it. Plus, I told him. Hehe.”

  “Shove it,” I say. Pesky little thing. “So how am I supposed to protect her?”

  “Consider this your new community service.” St Damian places the cup on the floor and leans in close, his eyes narrowed. “Save the girl, as if you were saving your own selfish ass. Grab the other monsters doing community service; they can be added protection. I’ll lend you my car. Driving will be the safest mode. Chasers won’t do much harm if you’re in a car. They prefer an intimate setting.”

  “Are you telling me we’re going to be driving aimlessly? This sounds like the beginning of a really bad chick flick, or a buddy movie!”

  “There are only so many stories in the world,” St. Damian says pensively. “Driving aimlessly is honestly the best thing you can do. By not knowing where you’re going, you won’t be susceptible to creatures that can read your mind and track you down.”

  “I hate that idea. Can’t you just find a safe house and get one of your clients to teleport us?”

  “No monster will teleport you. They’ll do favors for me, not you. Until the council decides what to do with her, there’s nothing else we can do.”
/>
  “Great.” I roll my eyes. “What about the Bakhtak? You coming with us?”

  He shakes his head. “Nope, but I’ll try to keep the redhead off your scent. Mess with her dreams to keep her behind schedule. You’re welcome,” he adds.

  “Why are you even helping?”

  “Because St. Damian is a cool guy and I’d saw a guy in half for him. I’d probably do it anyway, but you catch my drift.”

  St. Damian is too busy lifting Saffy’s lips up with his pinky finger to hear the Bakhtak’s compliment. “Check these fangs, Colt.”

  “They’re good looking,” I say, slightly envious of how pointed and clean they are. “Brand new.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  “Yep. Check the points. She could slice a chair in half without even trying. They’ve definitely never been used before, except for today.” I lower my own fangs and run my finger over them, disappointed by the bluntness. “Mine need a tune up, that’s for sure. Too much use.”

  “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” St. Damian says. “Colt. Do you love this woman?”

  “HA! St. Damian, I hate a lot of things in this world. Insta-love makes my Top Five. This stupid humanity thing swelling inside me will go as far to say I like her… but Insta-Love is seriously pathetic.” The myriad books and movies with Insta-Love flash before me. “The amount of hours I’ve spent reading and/or watching that tripe! I’ll never get them back!”

  “Okay, you don’t love her.” St. Damian remains poised as always. “But you like her. If you’re emotionally invested, on top of being punished, then I won’t have to worry about you… you know, killing her.”

  “I wouldn’t kill my own kind.”

  “Good to know. Should we wake her?”

  I retract my fangs. I’m iffy about that. We have no idea how she’s going to react. After all, telling someone they’re a monster and are subsequently forced into a road trip with a bunch of other monsters wouldn’t be thrilling news.

  “Wake her,” St. Damian tells the Bakhtak. “Let’s get this over and done with. Hide yourself while you’re at it.”